A.

"Change your thoughts and you'll change your world."

[ashleypgalan]

Did you love me?

There are so many emotions running through me right now. I don’t even know how to feel. I’m mad because you abandonded me, just discarded me like nothing. I will never understand how you could do that to me. I’m sad because I still wish you were here or that you would come back despite all that you have done to me. Why do I still want you? Why is it that right before I fall asleep you come to mind and I wish you were still by my side. 

There were moments where I felt that maybe I didnt love you as much as I thought I did. But it’s in these dark moments where I realize that I did truly genuinely loved you.I loved you wholeheartedly, I gave you as much of me as I could. and as im sitting here with tears streaming down my face thinking back to our life together, I realize that I didnt always show you how much I actually loved you. but the truth is I do... love you. 

But you hurt me so bad, you have been the greatest hurt I have ever experienced. why couldnt you love me the way I deserved? why couldnt you be the man I needed you to be? why was it so easy for you to walk away? was any of it real or was it just convienent? 

Did you love me?

[sage-struggler-deactivated20201]

[soeffingxtraordinary]

http://soeffingxtraordinary.tumblr.com/

[thegoodvybe]

[teenagecrush]

[luxe-bebe]

💞

[billionairestatus]

[sehomes]

[ashleypgalan]

Goals!

[ashleypgalan]

Baseball Season

“I vow to always love you, even during baseball season”

is the phrase I keep repeating to myself over and over and over again. 

My husband is what I call, an aspiring baseball player. He isn't in the minors, he doesn't receive any compensation for playing. He plays COLLEGE. BASEBALL. With the season quickly approaching I can't help but begin to be filled with anguish because soon I will be more husbandless than not. 

The next few months are the toughest ones out of the year for me, and usually for us as a couple. This year though I am trying to adjust my perspective and look at the bright side but nonetheless the emotions that come with doing all the work alone still arises. I am still going to try to be a supportive wife and not complain because I know that this time of the year isn't JUST baseball for him. He still has to work his FT job and keep up with his classes online plus try to be with us as much as he can. 

For me, this time makes me so stressed out because I know that I am going to have to work, go to school, and solely be responsible of picking up our son. Usually we alternate which makes it easier to prep dinner, do homework, clean up, give/take showers, get G ready for bed etc. NOW hubs won't be coming home until right before G’s bed time on game days or hours after on practice days. 

Additionally, I would get help from my dad or my brother who live upstairs but baseball season is during tax season and thats the busiest time of the year for my dads business so they won't be coming home until late either. 

PRAYING for the strength and the wisdom to endure the next few months peacefully and gracefully. 

XO, Ash

[sehomes]

[beautylouboutins]

[soeffingxtraordinary]

http://soeffingxtraordinary.tumblr.com/

[glitterandglamm]

[soeffingxtraordinary]

http://soeffingxtraordinary.tumblr.com/

[u-s-a]

[ashleypgalan]

Jan 2, 2018

The start of a new year always gives everyone the feeling that they must do something more, like what has been done is not enough. This year, I too have many goals that I wish to accomplish. There’s so many things I want to do, places I want to go, things I want to see. So much. But this year my ultimate goal is to take care of myself. This is MY year. My year to be selfish and not stress others likes and dislikes. I want to help myself flourish into the women I am truly  supposed to be. This is my selfish year. A year where I can take all that I learned in the last one and make sure I don't make the same mistakes again. I want to have fun, love, be young, go out, make money, make moves towards my career goals, lose weight, be me despite what anyone else thinks. I often find myself way too preoccupied in others thoughts of me. but guess what?! I DONT CARE ANYMORE. What others think of me is none of my damn business. 

& I don't want to do what every one else is doing because it just isn't me. Ok, maybe I can go out to the club once in a blue but that isn't whats going to make me happy either. I want to create memorable experiences by myself and with the ones that I love. I truly enjoy my own company, I don't mind going to a restaurant and requesting a table for one and this year I want to do that more. more ME time. 

Love yourself and hard because no one else will the way you will. Put yourself first even if others feel hurt along the way.

[raluque-decor]

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