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from the very first; | ash & el

fortisvenxtor:

He knew she didn’t want to say it, but his gaze stayed steady on her delicate features even as she found ways to draw out the moment. He didn’t mind, the admission that she had something to say at all being all the proof he needed. El was patient; he had to be, by trade. He could wait.

And the wait was worth it just for those five words.

El breathed out slow, eyes falling from her eyes—so blue when the sun hit her from that angle, so clear—down to her stomach, trying to see if he could recognize a swell to it. But there was her dress, the layers she wore concealing any telltale roundness from his eyes. He hesitated for a moment before one of his hands lifted from her shoulder, palm resting over the warm center of her chest for a moment to feel her heart before falling to her belly. His fingertips brushed her dress, barely a touch, before his eyes found hers again. He gazed at her like the m i r a c l e she was.

The rightness of it sang in his bones, and still he couldn’t quite believe that he’d lived to see this blessing. El wanted to pull her into his arms; he wanted to kiss her. But first, he needed to know— “How far along?” he murmured, his hand slotting into the familiar curve of her waist.

Relief --- that’s the first thing she felt, every bit as comforting as the way his touch ghosted across the small swell of her belly. An old tunic concealed the curve she’d memorized with her own two hands any minute she could; but perhaps El could feel it. She liked to think the child felt how tender their father’s hands could be.

“A few months. Had to be just before the rebellion,” she replied, weighing anything that passed through his stare. He was the first she’d told and without her mother here, Ashlynn couldn’t be certain. But there were few possibilities. There was only him, only certain nights. Drawing in a deep breath, she closed her eyes and focused on the way his palm warmed her through the fabric and how the world fell quiet as he found the life they’d created here in these same woods.

A little hunter. She could imagine them now, stout legs and sharp eyes. Free, wild. All their’s.

Concern furrowed her brow and clutched her throat in a vice. She tried to swallow it down, turn her focus to the way he stroked the worries from her mind, settle her into something quiet and calm as he always did. “My mother left and Asa can’t know, not right now. But you needed to first in case there wasn’t another chance.”

astrid-vitello:

She was aware of the current situation –––– had heard about it from Portia because it seemed to be the one thing her customers always seemed to talk about. Being trapped in the capitol wasn’t a first; it’d happened before but… then, they had an army to fight back the monsters threatening the city. Now? Astrid kicked at a piece of rubble at her feet. There was nothing but ruins and impoverished people. No structure or safety to speak of. “Do you want to be a part of it though, is my question. Many of the women are willing to stay because of the state of this city but we’ve had people leave us too. If you want to break away, I need you to know that that’s perfectly alright, Ashlynn.”

“Did you think I would choose anything other than to remain at your side with things as they are now?” Ashlynn asked, glancing up, a ghost of a smile appearing for a second on her lips. “No, I don’t want to break away. If anything, we need the Aegis more now than we did before.” It wouldn’t be safe --- not for her or the child, but Ashlynn refused to sit idle and useless, allowing whatever haunted the forest to swallow them. “As long as I remain here, you have my loyalty and my bow. If the Aegis is what you want, then it is the Aegis you will have.” She picked at her tunic, lost in thought for a brief moment. “Do you know who else is with us?”

#(c)#astridvitello

astrid-vitello:

It was harrowing to be stepping foot onto the what used to be her home. The Keep was burned to the ground –––– nothing left of it but rubble and unidentifiable charred ashes. Astrid kept recalling the different rooms as she walked through the remnants of the place. This was where she used to hide away when Hypatia was in one of her less tolerant moods. And this was the place where her room used to be… By the time she reached the agreed upon meeting place, she was overwhelmed with sentiment. Yet she attempted to give the woman a smile, because at the very least she was allowed to live. “We must talk about where to take the Aegis… I understand if you’d much rather leave for Highcrest Mountain, however.”

The Aegis . . . that was something she hadn’t thought about in a long, long time. Ashlynn supposed it must’ve been weeks but it felt longer than that. With all of the chaos, it just wasn’t something she put her attention to. Highcrest, though. That, she’d thought about. “No one can really move much now,” she murmured with a frown, glancing towards the woods. “So . . . Highcrest isn’t coming until that’s settled.” Ashlynn didn’t want to risk it. Not until they knew what was happening. Frowning, she turned back to Astrid. “I think we should stay together. The women that want to help, that is. With everything that's happening, I think it'd be best.”

#(c)#astridvitello

from the very first; | ash & el

fortisvenxtor:

Her expression didn’t change, pale eyes staring him down. It was almost a challenge, the way her jaw clenched and her shoulders pulled straight; El had to watch himself so that he didn’t let his displeasure with her response show. It didn’t reveal anything, not the way he wanted. Just tell me, tell me this, you’ve seen all my sharpest edges and you can’t answer a simple question for me—?

But Ashlynn was as she was and he wouldn’t have her any different. She couldn’t be compelled nor commanded, not any more than the elements. El took a slow breath and settled both of his hands on her shoulders, holding her ·c a r e f u l l y. Touching his thumbs along the edges of her delicate collarbones through the soft cloth that separated them.·

· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·“Of course it would. You know it would.”

Was he going to make her say it?

There was no way to escape the subject now. “Then, yes,” she mumbled, disappointment an unpleasant taste even as she softened. “I do have something to tell you.” A pause. Ashlynn hadn’t said the words out loud yet, like they were something to be wary of; like hearing them would make her swollen belly more real.

But El needed to hear it, and she would never dream of denying him that. His eyes were nothing less than kind, the same as they always were; his hands just as gentle on her shoulders, strong and rugged palms quick to soothe doubts. He·was something she knew; and it mattered·to him.·“There’s a child,” she murmured, so quick he may not have understood, but knowing that it was said·was a relief in itself. ·A child wasn’t planned for, or even expected, honestly. Yet, if Ashlynn was to have a family . . . El couldn’t be a better father. A father who’d love, fight, protect. A father to respect. He’d be gone, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad now. Ashlynn could think on the brighter side right now.·“Our child.”

#(c)#astridvitello #srry i yucked @ this this am

elpisxelysia:

Elysia was quick to follow. Perhaps, once, she wouldn’t have been frightened. Gods shouldn’t have to be scared of monsters. But now… She looked down at her hands ; small and frail and made to hold candles and gilded spoons and prayer books. She was but a spark to the fire she’d once been, there was only a hint of her powers left in her veins—and what use was the power to inspire hope, to soothe, in what could turn into a nightmare? She was just a priestess, now. “No,” she said. “No, I haven’t.” She was on edge. “What… What do you think? Do you…. Think they are monsters?” Sometimes, humans were the biggest monsters, but that wasn’t what she meant.

Ashlynn shrugged, turning her back to the forest when they were at a safe distance. “Whatever it is, I hope we figure it out soon,” she remarked. Everyone knew about the disappearances, and everyone had an explanation they were quick to tell you, too. Over the weeks, she’d heard stories about apparitions and spirits of the dead, half-familiar faces with gleaming eyes and wicked teeth. Others who claims they were creatures from darkness or rabid beasts. Some who swore they barely escaped encounter with their lives. Yet, no one seemed to know. “People are going to want answers, and who knows what will happen if there are none.”

#(c)#elpisxelysia

@astrid-vitello

The wood snapped in Ashlynn's hands, splinters cracking free as she glared at it in contempt, rolling her eyes with a huff as the sticks were tossed to the side. If only her mother were here --- she winced against that, shaking her head and reaching for another piece. She paused when her eyes locked with another, and Ashlynn hopped up from the charred remnants of a half-wall, waiting in the tangled weeds as her cousin approach. “Astrid,” she said, a half-smile appearing as she wiped her hands across her breezy tunic. “Everything alright?”

from the very first; | ash & el

fortisvenxtor:

Something about Ashlynn’s tone made the back of his neck prick, the slightest hint of anticipation teasing at his senses. El angled a look her way to see her eyes focused on the ground before them, delicate features betraying little.

Too little.

They needed to keep moving, needed to see if they could get a feel of the boy’s whereabouts without crossing into dangerous terrain. Seconds were ticking by with each step, and yet—and yet—

El touched a hand to Ashlynn’s elbow, stilling them. He urged her to turn towards him, brows furrowed as he scanned her face for any hint that he wasn’t imagining things. That there was a reason she was asking him these things with her eyes ducked when she’d rarely failed to look him straight in the eyes. ( How often was his fearless girl nervous? ) He wasn’t a fool. They’d met under the moonlight enough times, he’d traced her body with eyes and hands and lips so often he could make a sculpture from memory…

“… Have you got something to tell me, Moonbeam?”

Ashlynn looked up to him then. If it was blatant honesty he’d demand, she knew he would accept nothing less. His touch at her elbow was firm but gentle, warm as his eyes swept her face for anything she might betray. But she didn’t. If Ashlynn could credit the courtiers with anything, it would be the careful manner it instilled in anyone hoping to simply get by.

She clenched her jaw at the question, swallowing the thickness in her throat. “I don’t know, El,” Ashlynn said, quiet and careful and low. And she didn’t --- it was almost as if she were afraid to say the words out loud, like tasting them would make this any more real. But it already was, wasn’t it? Ashlynn very well knew the consequences their stolen nights could lead to . . . That didn’t make it any easier to accept once reality rushed in, though.

“My question, El,” she gently reminded him, carefully watching his expression. “Would it matter?”

from the very first; | ash & el

#(c)#fortisvenxtor #i told u i didn't know what this was #i warned u

fortisvenxtor:

They moved together in silence, the forest floor giving them no hint of human steps. If the boy had come by anywhere, it hadn’t been near them. Luckily, they both had a near-endless well of patience as far as traipsing through the woods went.

The question caught El off-guard. It shouldn’t have, considering what he’d said earlier, but it did. Children, he thought. What do I think of them?

“Back when Myranda and I were together, they were all we wanted.” His rough drawl of a voice came softer. Much softer. “Years, we tried, but her body couldn’t…” He left the statement to hang there, in the air between them. “Some suggested I leave her, find a woman who could. I don’t know what it’s like here, but in the wilds, having a family’s… Expected. Of some people more’n others. S’always important to pass on good traits—good eyes, good health. Leave behind strong children who can survive in the North, who can keep others alive.”

El sighed, ducking his head under a low-hanging branch as they continued down their path. “But I didn’t want anyone else. Couldn’t just… leave her like that. Wasn’t right. So we learned to live with it.” He shrugged, the old ache blooming low in his chest. “But I was there when Olena and Illias grew up, I’ve watched after them since I was little more’n a boy myself. It’s been… enough.” Almost. Not quite.

But good enough.

Realizing how much he’d said, El cleared his throat and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter anymore.”

--- Myranda. Ashlynn grew quiet, knowing that he was telling her an honest truth, something heavier than the few things they shared aloud. Of course it could be hard, listening to memories that bore so much pain. Children. Wanting children and a family and love and laughter, only to have it made impossible. What could she know of such things? The only things she could compare were quiet nights with handmaidens, softness but nothing close to love or the want between lovers. Ashlynn could think of nothing to say, could only offer a willing ear.

El never seemed to expect anything more. Just as she never expected him to forget his memories. ( just as she didn’t expect him to stay --- stay with her and the child she carried. )

Doesn’t matter anymore. She glanced at him, then, unsure of what he meant by that. “And what if you had the chance?” Ashlynn replied, turning her eyes back to the forest floor. “Would it matter then?” A quick sweep showed set of tracks, but none of the kind they were looking for. She fought the urge to lose herself in a hunt --- in something she knew --- and kept walking. Ashlynn refused to be terrified, but she still held her breath awaiting his answer.

Maybe El would notice, maybe she wouldn’t have to say.

elpisxelysia:

Elysia raised a hand, making only a feeble attempt at hiding the tremble before giving up, clasping the girl’s arm and parting her lips. But no answer would come. What was it, indeed? A ghost, a monster? An apparition, a trick of the eyes? But they’d both seen it, now, and then there were the dreadful rumors. “I… I haven’t a clue, but I do know that remaining here is a bad idea—-y-you’ve heard the rumors, have you not?” She looked at the woman for a moment, then her gaze flickered back to the forest. She did not want to take her eyes off the possibility of danger. “If it has anything to do with those rumors, we don’t want to be near it, I do believe.”

Ashlynn stiffened, looking back to the woods. The priestess seemed absolutely terrified, whatever she saw in those woods giving her a terrific fright. “Yes,” she said with a slow nod. She’d heard the rumors, saw a shadow or two for herself in the woods before; but she’d played it to harmless tricks of the mind. “You’re right, we should go.” Ashlynn was wary of all things unnatural. Shapes and ghosts and figments, anything in-explainable, was to be avoided at all costs. Especially if such figures inspired whispers of dread. She stepped away, eyes still on the woods as she started back for the main camp. “Have you seen them before now?”

#(c)#elpisxelysia

from the very first; | ash & el

fortisvenxtor:

“Of course.” His lips still tingled from the force of the kiss she’d pressed to them, passion burning bright under her skin and threatening to distract them both. And distract it could, very easily; his girl stole all his attention just by being near him. The touch of her lips to his wiped almost all thought away from his mind, leaving him foolish and love-struck.

He wondered if she knew just how powerful she was. One girl: enough to shatter his tribe’s first line of defense with naught but a kiss.

El licked his lips and picked himself up, standing and tucking his weapons away. He wouldn’t need to have his knife on him when searching for a child, no. He was frightening enough without it. “There’s no greater blessing than a child,” he intoned lowly, eyes sweeping the forest as he followed her lead, walking deeper and letting his eyes sweep the ground for tracks. “No greater love. Some spend their whole lives wishing for one.” His words cut close to home, but he didn’t linger on it. Just spoke broadly. “To lose one… His mother must be in a right state.”

“Thank you,” she said, appreciative. Ashlynn stood, her fingers slipping free from his hair and she reached for her bow, slinging it over her shoulder and across her back before brushing the dirt from her palms. Falling quiet when he spoke of children --- her stomach gave a twist at the thought --- Ashlynn’s eyes dropped to the forest floor as they walked. Some spend their whole lives wishing for one. Was El one of the some? “Then I hope we find something. Anything that can offer her a little comfort.”

She let a few moments pass in silence, unsure of the way she could even approach such a topic. Ashlynn spared a glance towards him before looking back to the woods. They’d never broached the subject before. Ashlynn didn’t think she would ever have to. To be honest, her own mind was made long ago about motherhood. ( but he’d made her question everything, hadn’t he? all it’d taken were stolen nights and a quiet love to shake everything she’d thought about her future. ) “And what do you think . . . about children of your own?”

from the very first; | ash & el

fortisvenxtor:

A smile hinted at the edges of his mouth when he heard her greeting, gentle fingertips trailing down his arm. There she was, his girl, smiling in the sunlight; how he’d been seeing her since the Keep had fallen, no one with balls enough to comment when they were seen together, hunting or sharing quiet words.

And she reminded him then that he would be leaving, that familiar quiet voice carving into his chest. Gentle hands holding a steel-edged blade, digging it into his heart with love. He did smile then, humorless, and nodded. He reached for her, sliding his palm up along her arm, fingers locking carefully around her wrist and loosening as they smoothed over her forearm. All the understated touches they shared; everything they valued like gold and no one else would understand.

( Everything he’d remember when he was cold in the wide, snowy plains of the North. )

“I haven’t,” he replied, peering up at her. They both knew that if his eyes hadn’t caught it, then it hadn’t happened. A prickle of unease crept along the back of his neck at the thought of a child lost in the woods. “Why? Is there a lost child?”

El didn’t say anything --- not out loud; he comforted her in the way he reached for her, the way his touch calmed her fears more than any words spoken could. He carried the north in his blood but his love burned; this quiet love that haunted her when he was gone, making her yearn for anything that carried HIM. ( she wrapped his furs around her skin to breathe him in when her bed was cold. ashlynn couldn’t imagine when they no longer smelled of him. )

Ashlynn let out a sigh of relief, doubt and sadness fading. She would enjoy him now, this man who claimed the love she offered. Later, Ashlynn would think of how it would be to feel every day as she did now, but she wouldn’t waste another moment while he was here. She turned into the touch that prickled her skin and kissed him because she couldn’t resist, her fingers sliding into his hair with the slow ache that threatened to drive her mad.

( but it was short. she remembered what she came to do. )

“A woman said her boy went missing yesterday, thinks he wandered near the woods somewhere.” Disappearances were often lately and the free folk surely had their own problems in the camp, but no one else knew these woods better than she and El. “She was --- distraught and I promised I would look. I know if you helped me, we should be able to find him or at least know if he was here at all.” Though she was already sure of his answer, she still asked, “Can you help me?”

#(c)#elpisxelysia #( oh GOODNESS )

elpisxelysia:

“Supposedly,” Elysia murmured, still scanning the forest’s edge and still catching sight of absolutely nothing. The other seemed so very convinced of there having been someone, that the priestess became a little frightened. “Not… Complete? Like a phantom, of sorts?” She glanced at the woman, before her gaze snapped back to the trees and she gasped, fingers reaching for the young woman’s arm to—she didn’t know what she wanted to do ; pull her away? Stop her from advancing? “That’s… There, to the left, there, wait… It’s gone! What is that—who…”

“Of sorts . . .” Ashlynn murmured, indecisive. She KNEW better than to doubt her instincts, KNEW her eyes hadn’t deceived her. But how could she describe what she’d seen. Ashlynn hardly understood it herself. And since the priestess hadn’t seen anything --- she reared her arm back sharply, turning to flash the girl a look at the first brush but stopping when met with wide eyes and confusion ( horror? ) “What?” She whipped towards the forests to search the trees, looking for anything that might’ve inspired such dread. Had the figure reappeared? She caught a glimpse, a glimmer before it vanished from her sight. “You saw it, yes? What was that?”

skarszanov

#( — app. )

from the very first; | ash & el