NAME: Laura
AGE: 30
TIMEZONE: EST
ACTIVITY: 7/10
ANYTHING ELSE: RFP
DESIRED CHARACTER: Alexandra Jade Evans
FACECLAIM: Gage Golightly
RELATION: Sister
BIRTH ORDER: Youngest
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual
PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She/Her
BIRTHDAY: August 13th
AGE/GRADE: 20/Junior
MAJOR: Music Production
SECRET: (TW: sexual assault, drug use, alcohol, depression) When she was 14 she was sexually assaulted at a party, as a result it led to her acting out and using alcohol and drugs as an escape and eventually casual sex as well. She’s now gotten to the point where she feels worthless and unlovable but she hides it still in her partying and promiscuous ways.
Being a member of the Evans family meant growing up on a farm in Tennessee and going to church every Sunday. While Dwight and Mary weren’t strictly religious, they wanted to instill goodness in their children. The kind of goodness that meant helping those in need and putting others first, the kind where the children didn’t expect presents on Christmas, but instead woke up ready to volunteer at the soup kitchen for the homeless shelter. Not that their parents didn’t try to get them a little something for their stockings, though never anything elaborate. After all, farm owners aren’t the richest of people. That didn’t matter to the Evans family though, they had what they needed. Food, a roof over their head, and love for one another. Though she was the youngest of the family, Alexandra was always the first to offer a hand to help her mother around the house or her father around the farm. She loved learning to cook and bake, she even enjoyed helping to clean, her room was probably the most organized of them all. On the farm, her favorite thing to do was to groom the horses and feed the chickens. Though she loved all the animals the same, always talking to them when she went out to do her daily chores. When it came to school and a social life, Alexandra was one of the friendliest kids on the playground. She was always kind to everyone, sticking up for kids who were getting bullied, and sharing what little lunch snacks she had. You could probably say she was pretty popular. And she was talented too. Her music teacher in kindergarten noticed how taken she was with the class, always trying to sit as close to the piano as possible and singing her loudest and proudest. Knowing that the family didn’t have much money to spare, she offered piano lessons to Alexandra, which after talking it over with her parents, the young girl excitedly started to take them two times a week. By the time she was a teenager, she was attempting to write her own songs. Of course they were mostly silly and about the animals on the farm or her friends at school. Nothing really serious, but a good start for an aspiring musician.
As junior high came around, Alexnadra, or Lexie as she was also known by, had also blossomed quite quickly into a young lady. And it was no surprise that she was turning the heads of many boys in school. All which went right over her head and never noticed much until the summer before Freshman year. It was about a few weeks after school had let out and Lexie and her friends were officially Freshmen, getting ready to go to high school come September. It was exciting and new, something they’d all talked about many times during sleepovers. One night, her and some friends heard about a party going on at an older kid’s house. The parents were away on vacation and the kid was throwing a “real rager”. Wanting a taste of high school life before they officially were in high school, they planned it out in that stereotypical way, picking one friend’s house to camp out at only to sneak out of the yard when the parents went to bed. They lived in a small town, so walking to the party wasn’t difficult. They’d given each other makeovers, wanting to try and look older to really fit in, wearing their cutest outfits. It was definitely not something Lexie thought she’d ever do, sneak out to a high school party. After all, she was usually dubbed the good girl. But she had this adrenaline rushing through her as they made their way to the house and walked up the driveway, already turning heads.
Walking through the front door they were greeted by someone in charge of the keg who asked them their names to write on red cups in sharpie, which were each then filled with beer. As they each looked at one another, making a face at the smell of the liquid, they shrugged and did a toast to going to high school and managed to choke down some of the beverage. It definitely wasn’t a good taste, and being that Lexie didn’t want to stray too far from the good girl path, she sat her cup down on a nearby table, her and her friends casually wandering around the house watching as people danced to loud music, some couples were making out in corners or on the couch and a game involving more red cups and ping pong balls was being played in the kitchen. Outside there was a pool, speakers set up to hear the music from inside and people messing around, throwing one another in the water and eating food that had been set up on the back deck. Everything seemed harmless. After a little while, Lexie wanted to fit in. Her friends had managed to each finish their drinks and were having a great time, so heading back into the house she found her cup as well as a very attractive, older boy standing next to the table where it was sitting. While Lexie was a very beautiful young girl who could catch the attention of any boy who walked past her, she was still somewhat shy, totally clueless to flirting Lexie. So when she picked up her drink to take a sip, she wasn’t expecting this boy to start talking to her or calling her gorgeous and beautiful and anything that could make a girl melt really. Again, wanting to fit in she took a big gulp of the beer in her hands, hoping she could stomach it better and that this cute boy didn’t notice the grimace on her face. He didn’t seem to. So as she stood there, chatting it up and drinking away, she started to feel dizzy and her vision was getting blurry. It was her first drink of alcohol, she was a fairly petite girl in size, naturally she thought she was just getting drunk. And when the boy offered to take her upstairs so she could lay down and sleep the buzz off, she thought nothing suspicious of it. After all, he’d been so nice to her since they’d started talking.
What happened next is mostly a blur, but Lexie knows exactly what happened to her. The boy had been guiding her up the stairs, she could feel herself losing more and more control of her body. He took her inside a bedroom and laid her down, and that’s when her worst nightmare happened. She tried to shove him off her her, she pulled down at her clothes when he tried to pull them off, but she was so weak from whatever it was he must have put in her drink that she could barely fight him off as hard as she tried. As tears were streaming down her cheeks through closed eyes, he took advantage of her and when he was done he just left her laying on the bed, torn clothes and all. Still unable to really move or call out to someone for help, Lexie just laid there, eventually and unintentionally crying herself to sleep. A restless sleep full of the nightmare she’d just lived. She was woken up by a girl, the one who lived there and had thrown the party. At first she was startled and started to yell for the girl to get off of her and to leave her alone, not realizing it wasn’t still the boy who’d assaulted her. Once she was able to get calmed down, the other girl offered her some aspirin and a glass of water, just assuming that Lexie had gotten too drunk and passed out. She didn’t want to talk about what happened to her, so she went along with it and when the girl also offered for her to use the shower before going home, she accepted. It was hard, looking at herself in the mirror, washing herself in the shower. At first, despite it being a warm summer day, she stood there and let the hot water just run over her skin. She felt dirty and nothing she seemed to do could wash that away. She had to get out at some point though and go home. Luckily the girl whose house the party had been at was very friendly and nice, telling stories as she let Lexie borrow an outfit about how she’d overdone it at her first party too. Lexie just nodded and thanked her, walking home and not even bothering to stop back at the friend’s house where she’d been staying before the party the night before. When her parents asked why she was home already she just explained that she wanted to be home in time to help out with chores, and spent the rest of the day out with the horses.
For the following few weeks, Lexie stayed at home, only leaving the house for church and the occasional errand run for her parents when asked. She’d wake up, do her farm chores, do chores around the house, and then lock herself in her bedroom. Her friends would try to reach out to her, wanting to know what happened at the party, that they were sorry they left her behind but when they couldn’t find her they figured she’d gone back to the friend’s house they were staying at. When they didn’t see her when they got back, they figured she’d just gone home. She couldn’t bring herself to tell them what had happened, so she just played along more with the story that she got too drunk and passed out in a bedroom. She used helping around the house and the farm as excuses to why she couldn’t go over for another sleepover or go to the mall or the movies. But eventually the loneliness started getting to her. She couldn’t just stay at home where she felt even dirtier around her family. As they looked at her and would praise her for helping around and being such a good daughter, she felt worse and worse about herself. The nightmares that haunted her every night kept her from forgetting the events of the party and she could tell she was going to crash, go insane, if she didn’t at least try to do something to get her mind off of what had happened to her. Finally she agreed to a trip to the mall with her group of friends, they were shopping for new outfits another high schooler was throwing a party while parents were away. At first, Lexie didn’t want to go with them this time, but it was hard to find an excuse not to. Her parents had already told her that they wanted her to have fun and hang out with the other girls because she’d been spending too much time by herself at the house. They’d given her the weekend off from chores and her friends had been there when they’d told her so.
Succumbing to the peer pressure, as well as hoping this party would go better than the last, she mustered up the courage and let the girls help her pick out an outfit as well to wear that night. Praying to God that she wouldn’t see her assaulter at this party, Lexie plastered on a smile and got ready with her friends at one of their houses. She refused to take a drink from anyone she didn’t know and made sure to keep an eye on her beverage as well as her friends’ throughout the night. Drink after drink, she felt herself starting to loosen up. There was no sign of her assaulter there and she didn’t even think about him with each drink that she had. Dancing around with her friends, they noticed a group of kids huddled around outside, laughing and seeming to have a good time. Curious they headed out, to find that these kids were smoking weed and hey, you only live once right? They figured why not try it, Lexie being skeptical at first, but they seemed to be having fun so what harm could it do? It felt like an instant calmer, making her able to let go completely and forget about what happened to her. And after this party, it became a regular thing. The girls would take turns hosting a sleepover only to sneak out to parties they’d heard about and eventually just started getting invited to. Lexie enjoyed it far too much though, one night at a random house she’d been drinking and getting stoned and the music was just right, she was dancing with a boy that was a couple years older. There was a quick flashback of the night her innocence was taken from her and she tried to shake it off. She made a decision that she thought was the perfect cure to rid her of that horrible night. After all, she already felt dirty and having sex at least willingly would make her feel back in control of herself again. It started with kissing on the dance floor and lead to getting handsy on the way up to a vacant bedroom. She initiated everything and to her surprise she enjoyed herself. Maybe it was the drugs or the liquor, but she couldn’t escape this new feeling of wanting more.
As she continued through the first couple of years at high school, she became quite the party girl. Going to any and all that she heard about or was invited to, even if her friends weren’t going. She found a way to numb herself from the first party that had gone wrong and she didn’t want to let it come back and consume her again into a depression. Each party she went to, she’d drink and she’d smoke and she’d hook up with someone. Sometimes it was the same person as a party before, sometimes it was someone different. She didn’t care, so long a she initiated it and it took her mind off her first time being stolen from her. It wasn’t long before she started getting the reputation of being easy and guys were practically falling at her feet to get into her pants. To say she loved the attention was an understatement. However her friends started to talk with her and hang out with her less and less. She found new friends, partied with them, a particular group introducing her to cocaine. That was a high she’d never experienced before and she was hooked. And then her grades started to drop, or more they seemed to fall off a cliff. Her parents intervened and she was practically put on house arrest until her grades were brought back up. She had friends who would supply her with alcohol and drugs, sneaking it into the school and passing it on to her, though she definitely slowed down being that she wasn’t out at a party where she could act out how she had while drunk or high.
By the time her grades were back up and she was allowed back out to socialize, her drug use wasn’t as heavy anymore. She still smoked and she still drank, but she’d managed to tone it down. She didn’t want another incident of her grades dropping, she needed to keep up the facade of being the perfect daughter. It was Junior year that she had a crush on a new kid in school, he was funny and handsome and really nice. She’d talked to him a few times at some parties, but when he asked her out on a date she was ecstatic. Everything seemed perfect, he’d taken her out to a secluded field, packed blankets and pillows that he set up in the back of his truck. Lexie thought, how romantic, he had planned a date for them to lay out and look up at the stars. Which, was how the night started. And then he started sweet talking her, gently touching her face and telling her how beautiful she was, leaning in to kiss her and because she liked this boy and really wanted him to like her, she initiated the next moves. It didn’t even occur to her when he readily pulled out a condom that he’d been looking just to hookup this whole time. It was a great time, he took her home and kissed her goodnight. And then, she didn’t hear anything from him the rest of the weekend. She tried texting him Monday morning to see if he wanted to walk to school with her, no response. When she saw him in the hallway before homeroom, he totally avoided her. Looked the other way, ignored when she spoke to him. Then she really started to notice the way all the other boys were looking at her and the fact that most of the girls were giving her dirty looks.
It wasn’t long before she’d starting hearing people throw around the word “slut” whenever she’d pass by. Her former best friends would giggle and whisper about her behind her back. She tried to shrug it off, acted as though she didn’t care. So what, she had sex and enjoyed herself? Anything to shed the nightmares from that first party. She tried not to show how hurt she was that she’d lost the friends she’d had since kindergarten or that the guy she liked only wanted to have sex with her and then pretended she didn’t exist afterwards. She’d just continue to drown it all out with more partying, drinking, and smoking. With each guy she’d sleep with, she just tried to tell herself that so what there was no emotion to it, it felt good and in that moment the guy was giving her all the attention she needed. When he’d move on to someone else, so would she. Even if it would hurt to see guys she’d slept with actually in relationships later on, where they were buying their girlfriends flowers and taking them on actual dates to the movies and dinner. She started to pour her feelings out into songbooks and picked up playing her keyboard that she’d gotten as a birthday gift a few years before. It was another form of therapy, at least healthier than her other habits. By Senior year, she’d been applying to colleges all while keeping up with the party scene. Not expecting to have a date for prom, she was shocked when a nice boy asked her to be his date. He was cute, someone she’d known since they were young, went to Sunday school together. What harm could there be? So she said yes. She went out shopping with her mom for a dress and shoes, she picked out a hairstyle and followed a youtube tutorial to do her nails and makeup. She was the most excited she’d been in a long time.
Her date picked up, he’d rented a limo for the occasion. Her parents took pictures, they did the traditional pinning of the boutonniere and he slipped the corsage on her wrist. The night was off to an amazing start and as they danced on the floor of the hotel’s ballroom where prom was being held, Lexie was having fun. Genuine, non-chemical induced fun. But then the night was winding down. King and Queen had been announced, kids were dispersing and heading off to after prom parties, Lexie and her date included. To be honest, she was excited for her first party where she wasn’t aiming to just get completely fucked up. She was with a nice boy, someone she’d known most of her life, someone who was harmless. They got to the party and he got them drinks, they danced some more and then he asked her to go upstairs to talk in the quiet of a vacant bedroom. Again, he was a nice boy, harmless, she thought nothing of it. But then they sat on the bed, and he made a move to kiss her. He was sweet, so she kissed back. Then he reached for the zipper on her dress before nervously pulling on the buckle of his pants. And she knew that this was all he wanted all along. She told him that she was hoping he wasn’t like the other guys, she thought they’d been having a good time, that they didn’t need to sleep together and that was when he broke down and confessed he asked her because he figured with her as his date, it’d be a sure fire way for him to lose his virginity on prom night. Lexie felt defeated, and feeling sorry for the kid for some reason, she obliged. It was clumsy and it was quick and when he went back to the party she stayed behind, curling up on the bed and crying. That was the final straw. She wouldn’t let people trick her into thinking that they actually liked her. She was done being used for sex. If she was going to hook up with someone, it was going to be because she wanted to.
Shutting herself off from feelings, the remainder of the summer, Lexie started going by different nicknames. She would only respond to Alex, Lex, or AJ. This was a new person that no longer cared what people thought of her, or at least she wouldn’t show it. She continued to go to parties, though not only did her attitude change, so did her style. It was darker, angrier. And boy was she thankful that she’d gotten accepted to a school that was states away, she could be somewhere that people didn’t know her past. Arriving to school at Ashwood University, Alex quickly made a point to keep people at a distance. She wouldn’t let anyone close enough to know who she really was, just a small town girl from Tennessee that had been wronged time and time again. She was majoring in music and used her song writing to let out her feelings. She still parties, she sleeps with guys often, just not as out in the open, and she definitely still smokes and drinks. Now she’s made a few friends, still keeping them at a safe distance and her sleeping around has started to grow, as you could find her in a different bed nearly every night. She’s fallen into a depression that she covers up with sex. She’s lonely, but given what’s happened to her throughout all of high school, she doesn’t believe that anyone could ever love her. She still feels dirty, she feels worthless, and she feels like she’s not good for anything but sex.
