The Boltzmann Lament
No greater love, some chemists say, than that of Boltzmann and his k. The constant made him quite afflicted and to an early grave (he self-inflicted).
How can we live with this duplicity in a world of endless multiplicities? I once tried to clean my room, you see, But the universe increased its entropy.
Could anyone ever truly follow such a sad lifetime full of sorrow? For we’re all alone with these notations, even with Maxwell’s relations.
And oh, what would good old NIST possibly begin to think about of all this? But alas, there was nowhere to start for questions put forth by the heart.
We’re star-crossed lovers, pchem and I, And I understand why Boltzmann cried. When asked if I would marry, would I say yes? I could only yell my reply: VdP plus TdS!
I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t end it, What’s the use, I cannot mend it! I am feeling warm, I need a refresher. What was constant, temperature or pressure?
Oh, the probability density may disappoint, But I get faint at the thought of the triple point. And energies, like jewels, they sing to me. Especially in exponent, divided by kT.
They said, are you hungry? You look faint ‘round the eyes. I looked up from my work, full of surprise. I could not eat in all my frustration when calculating the partition for vibration.
“Electronic, translation, rotation!” I gasped. Each was more beautiful than the last. And with gases ideal, I knew what to do. The free energy was minus kT ln of Q.
I think the spirit of Boltzmann has me possessed For I spent two weeks deciding which I liked best, those energies, potential or kinetic. I think these problems are genetic.
Boltzmann, soon we shall meet, Hand in hand, Einstein we shall greet. In the meantime, though, I’ve got just the ticket: Let’s apply Arrhenius to those hyper crickets.
By: Maria Moutsoglou, entangled For Dr. Hirko’s spring 2012 graduate statistical mechanics/thermodynamics course.
