professional useless thinker @asinnerlikeyou - Tumblr Blog

unless i state otherwise, all the work i post on this blog is of my creation.

i use different hashtags to make navigation easier, and i will add hashtags to this post as i create more work.

#asinnersthoughts: all my writings n ramblings.

#asinnersjourney: sketches and art practice.

i cant control other people’s actions, but to those that care: do not repost my work on other platforms.

more black ppl need to make edm/electronic/rave music.

it feels like its too late for me to do anything: be better, be happy, heal…i cant stop looking back, wishing i knew what i do now. the grief for the present i could be experiencing, if only i had known from the start who i was and what i truly wanted, is never ending. i cant stop the tears. so much regret, and what is left to do but cry and hope the future has a place for me.

perhaps the hardest part of moving on is believing i deserve the future. this poison tastes like it belongs in me. there is no point in spitting out what’s already running through my veins. it’s been carved on stone. lock me away. for my sake, dont let me see the sun. in the dark im free.

#asinnersthoughts

i want to witness the eclipse that will take place this august with someone. i’ve been looking forward to it since last year >_< .

#Spotify

sometimes when i ask myself “what am i supposed to do?” i hear fka twigs whisper “just keep it, hold it. keep it hold it”.

#thank you #sit with it #there is nothing left to do but to be

asinnerlikeyou

only wounded hands have my trust.

merciful and honest is their touch. — look at me, see how deep mine are? look, look, this one is recent; that one i did to myself: i stared for too long at my reflection and began to bleed.—

count your curses, name them one by one. count them all, lay them on the floor. then, hold my heart; i’ll hold yours.

walk with me through the valley of darkness, by your side i will fear no evil.

our wounds on display for those that seek shelter from the harsh rain, that which threatens to wash their sins away. they’ll ask —what do you want in exchange?—, and we’ll say —just hold my heart, i’ll hold yours.—.

asinnerlikeyou

wounds that are always fresh,

open to more despair.

always bleeding,

edging death.

river of sorrow;

the never ending decay,

filling the air

with a repulsive scent.

spare me,

mercy,

this cursed body is too weak

save me

protect me,

my heart is leaking

and my hands are too small.

running, running

but my body wont leave

what’s left of me?

dont let me see.

take my eyes,

take what’s left;

grant me rest.

this account is my tombstone.

fighting the urge to move far away from everyone n start over. im not joking.

i want to hit my head really fucking hard against the wall and lose all my memories.

ok :( .

#asinnersthoughts

im glad im going to therapy today, but i also just need to bawl my eyes out while held by someone who knows all of my flaws and still loves me profoundly.