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@ask--evan--hansen
@ask–connorrmurphy ST-STOP STRUGGLIN- DAMN IT! @ask–evan–hansen, COME TALK TO YOUR S-STUPID BOYFRIEND!
@ask–zoemurphy HELP. ME.
I’m not … I-I … you said … you said “u-us” getting ice cream. This … see? This is why … I … I can’t, OK?! He probably h-hates me anyway …
I don’t hate you, you Idiot.
B-but we ... w-we ... and then I ... and then y-you ... and I wasn’t ... I-I couldn’t b-be ...
@ask–connorrmurphy ST-STOP STRUGGLIN- DAMN IT! @ask–evan–hansen, COME TALK TO YOUR S-STUPID BOYFRIEND!
@ask–zoemurphy HELP. ME.
I’m not ... I-I ... you said ... you said “u-us” getting ice cream. This ... see? This is why ... I ... I can’t, OK?! He probably h-hates me anyway ...
@ask–evan–hansen So, we’re gonna go get some ice cream to cheer you up. And you can’t say no, because ice cream is proven to cheer you up, especially after weird sexual experiences.
We … uh-uh, we who? I might … I might say no. Um, depending. On-on the who.
We as in me and you. That’s who.
Oh. Uh … that’s it? I … I dunno … I’m watching Planet Earth again … don’t want to miss the episode on-on jungles …
Then we’ll record it and watch it later. Seriously. We’re not staying cooped up in this house forever. You’re going whether you want to or not.
My-my mom might be home tonight. She said next time she’s home that … that we’d have Chinese si-since we haven’t done that in a while. I don’t want to miss that.
So we’ll be gone for 30 minutes, tops.
I-I’d really rather stay he-here. We could make sundaes at my house? Or-or root beer floats? We have root beer, as-as long as you can stop at the store and pick some up?
Evan.
No. You’re going.
You can’t stay cooped up in your house forever. I’ll even text your mother to let her know I’m taking you, and she’ll probably be super excited that you’re leaving your bedroom and spending time with me. She thinks I’m such a good friend already. This will just tip the “I love Jared Kleinman” scale over with appreciation.
But still. Besides the point: You. Are. Going.
N-no!
I … I don’t want to. Just … leave me alone, Jared!
Ya know what? Fine. You want to sulk and feel sorry for yourself? Go right ahead. Fuck me for trying to help I guess.
Goodbye.
I’m n-not ... you don’t ha-have to ... I can’t leave right now, Jared, I just can’t! It’s not th-that easy s-sometimes, I-I can’t!
I-I’m sorry ...
@ask–evan–hansen So, we’re gonna go get some ice cream to cheer you up. And you can’t say no, because ice cream is proven to cheer you up, especially after weird sexual experiences.
We … uh-uh, we who? I might … I might say no. Um, depending. On-on the who.
We as in me and you. That’s who.
Oh. Uh … that’s it? I … I dunno … I’m watching Planet Earth again … don’t want to miss the episode on-on jungles …
Then we’ll record it and watch it later. Seriously. We’re not staying cooped up in this house forever. You’re going whether you want to or not.
My-my mom might be home tonight. She said next time she’s home that … that we’d have Chinese si-since we haven’t done that in a while. I don’t want to miss that.
So we’ll be gone for 30 minutes, tops.
I-I’d really rather stay he-here. We could make sundaes at my house? Or-or root beer floats? We have root beer, as-as long as you can stop at the store and pick some up?
Evan.
No. You’re going.
You can’t stay cooped up in your house forever. I’ll even text your mother to let her know I’m taking you, and she’ll probably be super excited that you’re leaving your bedroom and spending time with me. She thinks I’m such a good friend already. This will just tip the “I love Jared Kleinman” scale over with appreciation.
But still. Besides the point: You. Are. Going.
N-no!
I ... I don’t want to. Just ... leave me alone, Jared!
@ask–evan–hansen So, we’re gonna go get some ice cream to cheer you up. And you can’t say no, because ice cream is proven to cheer you up, especially after weird sexual experiences.
We … uh-uh, we who? I might … I might say no. Um, depending. On-on the who.
We as in me and you. That’s who.
Oh. Uh … that’s it? I … I dunno … I’m watching Planet Earth again … don’t want to miss the episode on-on jungles …
Then we’ll record it and watch it later. Seriously. We’re not staying cooped up in this house forever. You’re going whether you want to or not.
My-my mom might be home tonight. She said next time she’s home that … that we’d have Chinese si-since we haven’t done that in a while. I don’t want to miss that.
So we’ll be gone for 30 minutes, tops.
I-I’d really rather stay he-here. We could make sundaes at my house? Or-or root beer floats? We have root beer, as-as long as you can stop at the store and pick some up?
@ask–evan–hansen So, we’re gonna go get some ice cream to cheer you up. And you can’t say no, because ice cream is proven to cheer you up, especially after weird sexual experiences.
We … uh-uh, we who? I might … I might say no. Um, depending. On-on the who.
We as in me and you. That’s who.
Oh. Uh … that’s it? I … I dunno … I’m watching Planet Earth again … don’t want to miss the episode on-on jungles …
Then we’ll record it and watch it later. Seriously. We’re not staying cooped up in this house forever. You’re going whether you want to or not.
My-my mom might be home tonight. She said next time she’s home that ... that we’d have Chinese si-since we haven’t done that in a while. I don't want to miss that.
@ask–evan–hansen So, we’re gonna go get some ice cream to cheer you up. And you can’t say no, because ice cream is proven to cheer you up, especially after weird sexual experiences.
We … uh-uh, we who? I might … I might say no. Um, depending. On-on the who.
We as in me and you. That’s who.
Oh. Uh ... that’s it? I ... I dunno ... I’m watching Planet Earth again ... don’t want to miss the episode on-on jungles ...
@ask–evan–hansen So, we’re gonna go get some ice cream to cheer you up. And you can’t say no, because ice cream is proven to cheer you up, especially after weird sexual experiences.
We … uh-uh, we who? I might … I might say no. Um, depending. On-on the who.
Ev wanna get some ice cream
I’m not ... I-I don’t ... I don’t know y-you and I ... I think ... I mean I h-had a boyfriend and ... I don’t know but we’re not for sure broken up and-and I don’t know you and I just w-wanna stay at-at home and see if my mom gets off on time t-tonight then she said we could-could have Chinese to-together and she probably won’t be bu-but if she is then I ... I wanna do that. Instead of ice cream wi-with someone I don’t even kn-know.
@ask–evan–hansen So, we’re gonna go get some ice cream to cheer you up. And you can’t say no, because ice cream is proven to cheer you up, especially after weird sexual experiences.
We ... uh-uh, we who? I might ... I might say no. Um, depending. On-on the who.
@ask–evan–hansen I’m here. Get in and I’ll take you home.
Ohmygodthankyousomu–
H-hey, Zoe.
CanIjustgohomenowplease?L-let’srideinsilence.
You’re not going to tell me why you made me leave my date to come and pick you up? I mean, I’m not gonna force you. But I at least deserve an explanation.
I’m not … I-I ca- … l-later? Maybe? I can’t … not … not yet. N-not … not right now. Ijustreallywanttogohomeandalsodoyouwanttowatchanaturdocumentarytonightmymomleftmoneyforpizzaagain?
Fine. But you do need to tell me what happened. And sure buddy. Hell, leave the money for your mom. I can cover the cost. Any specific documentary? Please don’t let it be about trees.
I’ll … I can … I’ll try. I … I don’t know? A-and anything’s fi-fine, I just want … someone … t-to stay …
I’ll stay with ya, Evan. We’re almost there. Just go inside, get comfy, and I’ll order the pizza.
Oh, uh, y-yeah. … Comfy … I … I’ll try to get comfy …
P-perfect.
Seriously, Ev. Just breathe. You’re home now.
I’m … I … I don’t feel … shouldn’t I feel different?
Different for what, Ev? I mean, I have a good idea of what happened in that house, but with you it could really be anything.
I’m not … di-didn’t you feel … different … when-when you and Zoe … y’know?
So Zoe was right… No, not really. Like, the experience was amazing. We really felt a connection, and it felt so good. Physically and mentally. But afterwards, Zoe had just… shut down. That’s why I called you, remember?… Anyway, the first time wasn’t too bad. And no, I didn’t feel different. The relationship itself for sure. But me personally? No. I was more worried about Zoe than myself.
It felt … g-good? Um … I’m … s-sore … now? But I don’t f-feel any di-different.
It feels like I should feel different.
Virginity is a construct, Evan. Society makes you think that you have to feel different after having sex. But seriously, it’s not a big deal. Trust me.
M-mostly I’m just s-sore and worried a-about Connor. He looked s-so … scared a-after we were … and-and then I panicked and ran away a-an-and …
If you’re really that sore, take some ibuprofen or something. Also, he looked scared? Was he on bottom or- Nevermind! Don’t answer that. Evan, seriously, if it happens again, you need to just stop doing what you’re doing and talk to him. Maybe he wasn’t comfortable. Or there wan’t enoguh lube or whatever. Or there was something more emotional there and Connor wasn’t as ready as he thought he was. You can’t just run away every time something like that happens, Evan. Both of you need to talk things out.
No, he … he wasn’t. And it was O-OK until after but he wouldn’t look at me and then I was running away and-and I was calling you and … well, you know the rest.
Well, when you’re more calm and relaxed, we’re going over there and you’re gonna talk. Zoe and I can be in the room if you want, or not. As support. Either way. You need to sort this out. Especially if you enjoyed the sex. Holy shit, I never thought I’d be talking about gay sex with you, Hansen.
I’m … it wasn’t … bad? And we … checked first? And everyone was on-on board. But I … I dunno, he looked freaked out after.
OhgodJaredwhatifIdiditwrongandmessedsomethingupandnowhenevereverwantstodoanythingwithmeagainordatemeortalktomeorlookatmebecauseIscrewedthisup?!?!
Did you ever think that maybe it was his first time, too? …Ev. Really? It’s sex. I don’t think you can mess it up that bad. As long as all parties consent, you use protection, and you guys enjoyed it, you’re good. Like, it’s sex! Everyone feels awkward their first time. And I don’t think that having weird sex once is going to make him stop wanting to be in a relationship with you. Hell, you two have been through MUCH worse.
I-I don’t know! He didn’t ... he knew what he was doing. B-better than I did, a-anyway.
And it felt good but then a-after it was totally weird and whatifIdidthewrongthingandmessedeverythingupwhenIpanickedandranaway??
@ask–evan–hansen I’m here. Get in and I’ll take you home.
Ohmygodthankyousomu–
H-hey, Zoe.
CanIjustgohomenowplease?L-let’srideinsilence.
You’re not going to tell me why you made me leave my date to come and pick you up? I mean, I’m not gonna force you. But I at least deserve an explanation.
I’m not … I-I ca- … l-later? Maybe? I can’t … not … not yet. N-not … not right now. Ijustreallywanttogohomeandalsodoyouwanttowatchanaturdocumentarytonightmymomleftmoneyforpizzaagain?
Fine. But you do need to tell me what happened. And sure buddy. Hell, leave the money for your mom. I can cover the cost. Any specific documentary? Please don’t let it be about trees.
I’ll … I can … I’ll try. I … I don’t know? A-and anything’s fi-fine, I just want … someone … t-to stay …
I’ll stay with ya, Evan. We’re almost there. Just go inside, get comfy, and I’ll order the pizza.
Oh, uh, y-yeah. … Comfy … I … I’ll try to get comfy …
P-perfect.
Seriously, Ev. Just breathe. You’re home now.
I’m … I … I don’t feel … shouldn’t I feel different?
Different for what, Ev? I mean, I have a good idea of what happened in that house, but with you it could really be anything.
I’m not … di-didn’t you feel … different … when-when you and Zoe … y’know?
So Zoe was right… No, not really. Like, the experience was amazing. We really felt a connection, and it felt so good. Physically and mentally. But afterwards, Zoe had just… shut down. That’s why I called you, remember?… Anyway, the first time wasn’t too bad. And no, I didn’t feel different. The relationship itself for sure. But me personally? No. I was more worried about Zoe than myself.
It felt … g-good? Um … I’m … s-sore … now? But I don’t f-feel any di-different.
It feels like I should feel different.
Virginity is a construct, Evan. Society makes you think that you have to feel different after having sex. But seriously, it’s not a big deal. Trust me.
M-mostly I’m just s-sore and worried a-about Connor. He looked s-so … scared a-after we were … and-and then I panicked and ran away a-an-and …
If you’re really that sore, take some ibuprofen or something. Also, he looked scared? Was he on bottom or- Nevermind! Don’t answer that. Evan, seriously, if it happens again, you need to just stop doing what you’re doing and talk to him. Maybe he wasn’t comfortable. Or there wan’t enoguh lube or whatever. Or there was something more emotional there and Connor wasn’t as ready as he thought he was. You can’t just run away every time something like that happens, Evan. Both of you need to talk things out.
No, he … he wasn’t. And it was O-OK until after but he wouldn’t look at me and then I was running away and-and I was calling you and … well, you know the rest.
Well, when you’re more calm and relaxed, we’re going over there and you’re gonna talk. Zoe and I can be in the room if you want, or not. As support. Either way. You need to sort this out. Especially if you enjoyed the sex. Holy shit, I never thought I’d be talking about gay sex with you, Hansen.
I’m ... it wasn’t ... bad? And we ... checked first? And everyone was on-on board. But I ... I dunno, he looked freaked out after.
OhgodJaredwhatifIdiditwrongandmessedsomethingupandnowhenevereverwantstodoanythingwithmeagainordatemeortalktomeorlookatmebecauseIscrewedthisup?!?!
@ask–evan–hansen I’m here. Get in and I’ll take you home.
Ohmygodthankyousomu–
H-hey, Zoe.
CanIjustgohomenowplease?L-let’srideinsilence.
You’re not going to tell me why you made me leave my date to come and pick you up? I mean, I’m not gonna force you. But I at least deserve an explanation.
I’m not … I-I ca- … l-later? Maybe? I can’t … not … not yet. N-not … not right now. Ijustreallywanttogohomeandalsodoyouwanttowatchanaturdocumentarytonightmymomleftmoneyforpizzaagain?
Fine. But you do need to tell me what happened. And sure buddy. Hell, leave the money for your mom. I can cover the cost. Any specific documentary? Please don’t let it be about trees.
I’ll … I can … I’ll try. I … I don’t know? A-and anything’s fi-fine, I just want … someone … t-to stay …
I’ll stay with ya, Evan. We’re almost there. Just go inside, get comfy, and I’ll order the pizza.
Oh, uh, y-yeah. … Comfy … I … I’ll try to get comfy …
P-perfect.
Seriously, Ev. Just breathe. You’re home now.
I’m … I … I don’t feel … shouldn’t I feel different?
Different for what, Ev? I mean, I have a good idea of what happened in that house, but with you it could really be anything.
I’m not … di-didn’t you feel … different … when-when you and Zoe … y’know?
So Zoe was right… No, not really. Like, the experience was amazing. We really felt a connection, and it felt so good. Physically and mentally. But afterwards, Zoe had just… shut down. That’s why I called you, remember?… Anyway, the first time wasn’t too bad. And no, I didn’t feel different. The relationship itself for sure. But me personally? No. I was more worried about Zoe than myself.
It felt … g-good? Um … I’m … s-sore … now? But I don’t f-feel any di-different.
It feels like I should feel different.
Virginity is a construct, Evan. Society makes you think that you have to feel different after having sex. But seriously, it’s not a big deal. Trust me.
M-mostly I’m just s-sore and worried a-about Connor. He looked s-so … scared a-after we were … and-and then I panicked and ran away a-an-and …
If you’re really that sore, take some ibuprofen or something. Also, he looked scared? Was he on bottom or- Nevermind! Don’t answer that. Evan, seriously, if it happens again, you need to just stop doing what you’re doing and talk to him. Maybe he wasn’t comfortable. Or there wan’t enoguh lube or whatever. Or there was something more emotional there and Connor wasn’t as ready as he thought he was. You can’t just run away every time something like that happens, Evan. Both of you need to talk things out.
No, he ... he wasn’t. And it was O-OK until after but he wouldn’t look at me and then I was running away and-and I was calling you and ... well, you know the rest.
@ask–evan–hansen I’m here. Get in and I’ll take you home.
Ohmygodthankyousomu–
H-hey, Zoe.
CanIjustgohomenowplease?L-let’srideinsilence.
You’re not going to tell me why you made me leave my date to come and pick you up? I mean, I’m not gonna force you. But I at least deserve an explanation.
I’m not … I-I ca- … l-later? Maybe? I can’t … not … not yet. N-not … not right now. Ijustreallywanttogohomeandalsodoyouwanttowatchanaturdocumentarytonightmymomleftmoneyforpizzaagain?
Fine. But you do need to tell me what happened. And sure buddy. Hell, leave the money for your mom. I can cover the cost. Any specific documentary? Please don’t let it be about trees.
I’ll … I can … I’ll try. I … I don’t know? A-and anything’s fi-fine, I just want … someone … t-to stay …
I’ll stay with ya, Evan. We’re almost there. Just go inside, get comfy, and I’ll order the pizza.
Oh, uh, y-yeah. … Comfy … I … I’ll try to get comfy …
P-perfect.
Seriously, Ev. Just breathe. You’re home now.
I’m … I … I don’t feel … shouldn’t I feel different?
Different for what, Ev? I mean, I have a good idea of what happened in that house, but with you it could really be anything.
I’m not … di-didn’t you feel … different … when-when you and Zoe … y’know?
So Zoe was right… No, not really. Like, the experience was amazing. We really felt a connection, and it felt so good. Physically and mentally. But afterwards, Zoe had just… shut down. That’s why I called you, remember?… Anyway, the first time wasn’t too bad. And no, I didn’t feel different. The relationship itself for sure. But me personally? No. I was more worried about Zoe than myself.
It felt … g-good? Um … I’m … s-sore … now? But I don’t f-feel any di-different.
It feels like I should feel different.
Virginity is a construct, Evan. Society makes you think that you have to feel different after having sex. But seriously, it’s not a big deal. Trust me.
M-mostly I’m just s-sore and worried a-about Connor. He looked s-so ... scared a-after we were ... and-and then I panicked and ran away a-an-and ...
@ask–evan–hansen I’m here. Get in and I’ll take you home.
Ohmygodthankyousomu–
H-hey, Zoe.
CanIjustgohomenowplease?L-let’srideinsilence.
You’re not going to tell me why you made me leave my date to come and pick you up? I mean, I’m not gonna force you. But I at least deserve an explanation.
I’m not … I-I ca- … l-later? Maybe? I can’t … not … not yet. N-not … not right now. Ijustreallywanttogohomeandalsodoyouwanttowatchanaturdocumentarytonightmymomleftmoneyforpizzaagain?
Fine. But you do need to tell me what happened. And sure buddy. Hell, leave the money for your mom. I can cover the cost. Any specific documentary? Please don’t let it be about trees.
I’ll … I can … I’ll try. I … I don’t know? A-and anything’s fi-fine, I just want … someone … t-to stay …
I’ll stay with ya, Evan. We’re almost there. Just go inside, get comfy, and I’ll order the pizza.
Oh, uh, y-yeah. … Comfy … I … I’ll try to get comfy …
P-perfect.
Seriously, Ev. Just breathe. You’re home now.
I’m … I … I don’t feel … shouldn’t I feel different?
Different for what, Ev? I mean, I have a good idea of what happened in that house, but with you it could really be anything.
I’m not … di-didn’t you feel … different … when-when you and Zoe … y’know?
So Zoe was right… No, not really. Like, the experience was amazing. We really felt a connection, and it felt so good. Physically and mentally. But afterwards, Zoe had just… shut down. That’s why I called you, remember?… Anyway, the first time wasn’t too bad. And no, I didn’t feel different. The relationship itself for sure. But me personally? No. I was more worried about Zoe than myself.
It felt ... g-good? Um ... I’m ... s-sore ... now? But I don’t f-feel any di-different.
It feels like I should feel different.
@ask–evan–hansen I’m here. Get in and I’ll take you home.
Ohmygodthankyousomu–
H-hey, Zoe.
CanIjustgohomenowplease?L-let’srideinsilence.
You’re not going to tell me why you made me leave my date to come and pick you up? I mean, I’m not gonna force you. But I at least deserve an explanation.
I’m not … I-I ca- … l-later? Maybe? I can’t … not … not yet. N-not … not right now. Ijustreallywanttogohomeandalsodoyouwanttowatchanaturdocumentarytonightmymomleftmoneyforpizzaagain?
Fine. But you do need to tell me what happened. And sure buddy. Hell, leave the money for your mom. I can cover the cost. Any specific documentary? Please don’t let it be about trees.
I’ll … I can … I’ll try. I … I don’t know? A-and anything’s fi-fine, I just want … someone … t-to stay …
I’ll stay with ya, Evan. We’re almost there. Just go inside, get comfy, and I’ll order the pizza.
Oh, uh, y-yeah. … Comfy … I … I’ll try to get comfy …
P-perfect.
Seriously, Ev. Just breathe. You’re home now.
I’m … I … I don’t feel … shouldn’t I feel different?
Different for what, Ev? I mean, I have a good idea of what happened in that house, but with you it could really be anything.
I’m not ... di-didn’t you feel ... different ... when-when you and Zoe ... y’know?
@ask–evan–hansen I’m here. Get in and I’ll take you home.
Ohmygodthankyousomu–
H-hey, Zoe.
CanIjustgohomenowplease?L-let’srideinsilence.
You’re not going to tell me why you made me leave my date to come and pick you up? I mean, I’m not gonna force you. But I at least deserve an explanation.
I’m not … I-I ca- … l-later? Maybe? I can’t … not … not yet. N-not … not right now. Ijustreallywanttogohomeandalsodoyouwanttowatchanaturdocumentarytonightmymomleftmoneyforpizzaagain?
Fine. But you do need to tell me what happened. And sure buddy. Hell, leave the money for your mom. I can cover the cost. Any specific documentary? Please don’t let it be about trees.
I’ll … I can … I’ll try. I … I don’t know? A-and anything’s fi-fine, I just want … someone … t-to stay …
I’ll stay with ya, Evan. We’re almost there. Just go inside, get comfy, and I’ll order the pizza.
Oh, uh, y-yeah. … Comfy … I … I’ll try to get comfy …
P-perfect.
Seriously, Ev. Just breathe. You’re home now.
I’m ... I ... I don’t feel ... shouldn't I feel different?
@ask–evan–hansen I’m here. Get in and I’ll take you home.
Ohmygodthankyousomu–
H-hey, Zoe.
CanIjustgohomenowplease?L-let’srideinsilence.
You’re not going to tell me why you made me leave my date to come and pick you up? I mean, I’m not gonna force you. But I at least deserve an explanation.
I’m not … I-I ca- … l-later? Maybe? I can’t … not … not yet. N-not … not right now. Ijustreallywanttogohomeandalsodoyouwanttowatchanaturdocumentarytonightmymomleftmoneyforpizzaagain?
Fine. But you do need to tell me what happened. And sure buddy. Hell, leave the money for your mom. I can cover the cost. Any specific documentary? Please don’t let it be about trees.
I’ll … I can … I’ll try. I … I don’t know? A-and anything’s fi-fine, I just want … someone … t-to stay …
I’ll stay with ya, Evan. We’re almost there. Just go inside, get comfy, and I’ll order the pizza.
Oh, uh, y-yeah. ... Comfy ... I ... I’ll try to get comfy ...
P-perfect.
