try your luck with ham man

Prosciutto | 26 | Italian | He/She/They | don't waste my time.

[ask--prosciutto]

-Hello mod here I have always wanted to make a roleplay account and lately I've been seeing more La Squadra asks accounts, which is a good thing! So I'm gonna be Prosciutto although I'm not really good at role-playing his character, I'm doing it for fun so don't attack me if he isn't accurate to the canon Pros.

This blog is inspired by ask-melonheh, ask-formaggio, ask-risotto, ask-ghiaccio.

-mod goes by She/He/They.

-Just something important to note I answer to at maximum 3 asks a day so my inbox is no empty.

-anon list: Stabby anon, Sleepy anon, 🍀 anon.

Rules:

-suggestive jokes, comments, information is okayish, if something is really uncomfortable we ignore or block. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to use explicit language just be careful with your words not say straight up smut and porn.

-if something that anon asked to mod is too personal they’ll ignore it, don’t be offended, or upset just knowing limits is important.

-keep in mind that I’m a person and not Prosciutto.

-if Prosciutto acts snobbish or rude don’t take it to heart, it’s fictional and he most of the time doesn’t have anything against you.

-Prosciutto is unlabeled both sexuality and gender wise in this blog. He uses primarily He/Him, but doesn’t mind She/Her, They/Them and other pronouns; the only one he doesn’t like being used on him is it/It’s. He doesn't focus on these stuff because he prefers to be more focused on his missions and jobs as a hitman.

-no doxxing, just in case someday there is a drama which I doubt will happen. We do not permit any type of doxxing.

-Remember that I am not Prosciutto, and I may not act like canon Prosciutto, so, if you have an issue with that there is nothing I can do but block you so you won’t have to deal with it, I’m just having fun roleplaying, I won’t force myself to act in ways that makes me uncomfortable just to be “lore accurate” and I won't be offended if you don't like it, that's okay and vaild to think that but don't harass me please. (Rule added on 22 of November 2025)

-Illuso and Melone, you both are on thin ice. (Joke rule made by Prosciutto added on 18 of February 2026)

-that’s all for now, if we need more rules they will be added.

[ask--prosciutto]

hey gramps I drew you

Not a grandfather but thanks for the drawing. :)

You did a great job drawing my suit, I am aware that the pattern is rather challenging to draw but you did a phenomenal job. I would place it on the fridge but it is better to stay safe inside my folder. Thank you very much.

[ask--prosciutto]

I think illuso might be 6 rats disguised as a man but idk

What a claim, is he anon? I’m quite curious about your theory. I do doubt that the guy who over-uses hygiene products would be a bunch of rats unless he is going to hide his true identity and self. That would explain why it is so unpleasant being around him. Still I think he is human, however good luck trying to prove to us that he is a group of rats dressed as a human.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

poo poo dookie shit hahahahha

All apt descriptors for yourself, if I may say.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my extensive morning skincare routine that I wasn’t able to complete yesterday because someone decided to be an annoying whiny bitch.

[ask--prosciutto]

Not my problem.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Speak of the devil 🙄

[ask--prosciutto]

Awh missed me? Good thing I'm in a good mood today at least.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Haha, no.

What the hell do you want?

[ask--prosciutto]

I was mentioned so I showed up, simple as that.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Well, no one wants you here. Go back to doing whatever it is you were doing before.

[ask--prosciutto]

Eh, anything is better than chatting with you always. You're so bitter, not as bitter as me though since I'm better at that.

Anyways, I'm going back to my room since there is nothing interesting here. Listening to music is so much more interesting.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Good riddance, Pepperoni

[ask--prosciutto]

Whatever, snake.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

(they’re both so petty lmao -mod)

[ask--prosciutto]

(They indeed are super stubborn! It's entertaining to watch these two just go on beefing online for hours. XD –Mod)

[ask-ghiaccio]

(mod- started with a poop joke by the way 🫩)

[ask--prosciutto]

(Yep, grown ass men arguing online like teenagers.. –Mod)

[ask-the-better-illuso]

poo poo dookie shit hahahahha

All apt descriptors for yourself, if I may say.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my extensive morning skincare routine that I wasn’t able to complete yesterday because someone decided to be an annoying whiny bitch.

[ask--prosciutto]

Not my problem.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Speak of the devil 🙄

[ask--prosciutto]

Awh missed me? Good thing I'm in a good mood today at least.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Haha, no.

What the hell do you want?

[ask--prosciutto]

I was mentioned so I showed up, simple as that.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Well, no one wants you here. Go back to doing whatever it is you were doing before.

[ask--prosciutto]

Eh, anything is better than chatting with you always. You're so bitter, not as bitter as me though since I'm better at that.

Anyways, I'm going back to my room since there is nothing interesting here. Listening to music is so much more interesting.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Good riddance, Pepperoni

[ask--prosciutto]

Whatever, snake.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

(they’re both so petty lmao -mod)

[ask--prosciutto]

(They indeed are super stubborn! It's entertaining to watch these two just go on beefing online for hours. XD –Mod)

[ask-the-better-illuso]

poo poo dookie shit hahahahha

All apt descriptors for yourself, if I may say.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my extensive morning skincare routine that I wasn’t able to complete yesterday because someone decided to be an annoying whiny bitch.

[ask--prosciutto]

Not my problem.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Speak of the devil 🙄

[ask--prosciutto]

Awh missed me? Good thing I'm in a good mood today at least.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Haha, no.

What the hell do you want?

[ask--prosciutto]

I was mentioned so I showed up, simple as that.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Well, no one wants you here. Go back to doing whatever it is you were doing before.

[ask--prosciutto]

Eh, anything is better than chatting with you always. You're so bitter, not as bitter as me though since I'm better at that.

Anyways, I'm going back to my room since there is nothing interesting here. Listening to music is so much more interesting.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Good riddance, Pepperoni

[ask--prosciutto]

Whatever, snake.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

poo poo dookie shit hahahahha

All apt descriptors for yourself, if I may say.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my extensive morning skincare routine that I wasn’t able to complete yesterday because someone decided to be an annoying whiny bitch.

[ask--prosciutto]

Not my problem.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Speak of the devil 🙄

[ask--prosciutto]

Awh missed me? Good thing I'm in a good mood today at least.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Haha, no.

What the hell do you want?

[ask--prosciutto]

I was mentioned so I showed up, simple as that.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Well, no one wants you here. Go back to doing whatever it is you were doing before.

[ask--prosciutto]

Eh, anything is better than chatting with you always. You're so bitter, not as bitter as me though since I'm better at that.

Anyways, I'm going back to my room since there is nothing interesting here. Listening to music is so much more interesting.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

poo poo dookie shit hahahahha

All apt descriptors for yourself, if I may say.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my extensive morning skincare routine that I wasn’t able to complete yesterday because someone decided to be an annoying whiny bitch.

[ask--prosciutto]

Not my problem.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Speak of the devil 🙄

[ask--prosciutto]

Awh missed me? Good thing I'm in a good mood today at least.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Haha, no.

What the hell do you want?

[ask--prosciutto]

I was mentioned so I showed up, simple as that.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

poo poo dookie shit hahahahha

All apt descriptors for yourself, if I may say.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my extensive morning skincare routine that I wasn’t able to complete yesterday because someone decided to be an annoying whiny bitch.

[ask--prosciutto]

Not my problem.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Speak of the devil 🙄

[ask--prosciutto]

Awh missed me? Good thing I'm in a good mood today at least.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

poo poo dookie shit hahahahha

All apt descriptors for yourself, if I may say.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my extensive morning skincare routine that I wasn’t able to complete yesterday because someone decided to be an annoying whiny bitch.

[ask--prosciutto]

Not my problem.

[ask--prosciutto]

I just had to look everywhere for my hairbrush, good thing I found it. I have a bad feeling about it since someone likely stole it so I'll probably get a new one.

I have some paperwork left to do but afterwards I might drink some tea and relax to some jazz or blues music inside my room. I need that after that long day outside. There is nothing better than staying cozy. Also, I'm staying as far away from my teammates today unless is Risotto or Pesci.

[ask--prosciutto]

I'm done with my paperwork finally. Now, it's time to rest. 😌

[ask--prosciutto]

So a little birdie told me it was your birthday! So I just wanted to wish you a very Happy Birthday!😛❤️

:D

Hm, this is quite sweet of you but it is not my birthday at all. But thank you anyways.

(Sorry I don't have a birthday date headcanon for Prosciutto yet.. 😅 –Mod)

[ask--prosciutto]

LMAO I'm crying when that illuso ask blog censored your name, I would be so hurt if that happened to me 😭😭 also hi! Hello! I hope you're doing alright! Best wishes (also your sanity intact)

-🍀 anon, until we meet again! :D

I am more than aware about Illuso's way of censoring names of people he hates the most, if you did not see: me and him had an argument yesterday over a happy pride month wish. But honestly it is Illuso after all, no one is surprised.

Thank you 🍀 anon I appreciate the kindness, hope you'll have a good week.

[ask--prosciutto]

I just had to look everywhere for my hairbrush, good thing I found it. I have a bad feeling about it since someone likely stole it so I'll probably get a new one.

I have some paperwork left to do but afterwards I might drink some tea and relax to some jazz or blues music inside my room. I need that after that long day outside. There is nothing better than staying cozy. Also, I'm staying as far away from my teammates today unless is Risotto or Pesci.

[amarynth]

no i didn’t drop it in dirt grow up /ref

[alteredsal]

propoopo

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Happy Pride month to everyone except Gh**cc**, his ugly kid and Pr*sc**tt*.

[ask--prosciutto]

Hope you'll have the worst hangover known to man.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

I hope you die of smokers lung before you reach 30.

[ask--prosciutto]

You'll probably die first if you keep drinking as if you're immune to alcohol. 😐

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Who gives a shit? At least I won’t have to deal with your annoying ass either way.

[ask--prosciutto]

Yeah, yeah, sure. 🙄

[ask-the-better-illuso]

You think I’m joking?

[ask--prosciutto]

Nope, anyone from the lower ranks within passione tend to feel that way. It's just not surprising even if it's coming from you out of all the people. -_-

[ask-the-better-illuso]

I’m glad to see that more people than myself think you’re an insufferable ass.

[ask--prosciutto]

Tw

I meant the suicidal part you bean-sized brain.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Did I ask?

[ask--prosciutto]

"Do you think I'm joking?" That is in fact a question.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

That was a rhetorical question you nitwit.

[ask--prosciutto]

I don't care if it's a come back.

(Sorry, I tend to take questions seriously. 😭😭 –Mod)

[ask-the-better-illuso]

And I didn’t ask if you cared. You still look dumb for answering that.

(It’s fine, I tend to do that as well 😅 -mod)

[ask--prosciutto]

I don't need to get a question to express my opinion by the way.

(Yeah.. 😅–Mod)

[ask-the-better-illuso]

The point is no one wants to hear your opinion.

[ask--prosciutto]

Okay and?

[ask-the-better-illuso]

[ask--prosciutto]

[ask-the-better-illuso]

You’re the worst, prostituto

[ask--prosciutto]

Not a prostitute. 😑

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Then why do you dress like one? 🤨

[ask--prosciutto]

It's called having style. At least I'm not dressed like those padded rooms inside those psych wards.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

You know, yellow really isn’t your color. It looks horrid.

[ask--prosciutto]

Well you look like a mess with all those colors in the same outfit.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

“All those colors” You mean two? White and gray aren’t colors, they’re values. Not like you’d know that. Besides, at least the colors I wear are complimentary.

[ask--prosciutto]

I am more than aware about green and purple being complimentary. However they just do not match your eyes. And the olive green shade on your shoes sure aren't helping.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Oh and like I’d ever listen to fashion advice from the guy who looks like he has cobwebs all over his suit

[ask--prosciutto]

Those are obviously patterns mind you.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Well they’re not very good patterns.

[ask--prosciutto]

Well at least I didn't use a duvet as fabric for my shirt.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Once again it’s not a damn duvet.

[ask--prosciutto]

Pretty sure it is made out of one.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

It isn’t, and I’m sick of people saying it is.

[ask--prosciutto]

Yeah and the earth is flat. Don't make me laugh. 😒

[ask-the-better-illuso]

A duvet wouldn’t even be a good material for a shirt, no one would make a shirt out of that. Stop being dense.

[ask--prosciutto]

Still it's horrendous the fact you'd wear something that looks so similar to one.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Well it’s a good thing you don’t have to wear it 😒

[ask--prosciutto]

Exactly, it's such a relief honestly.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

You look like the average nursing home patient, so I really don’t care what you think about my outfit

[ask--prosciutto]

Whatever helps you feel better about your fashion sense I guess. 😊

[ask-the-better-illuso]

At least I have a fashion sense.

[ask--prosciutto]

Just because you have one does not mean it's a good one.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Well that toupee you’re wearing isn’t fooling anyone. It looks tacky.

[ask--prosciutto]

What are you even talking about? You are just embarrassing yourself at this point.🤦

[ask-the-better-illuso]

You mean to tell me that’s your actual hair??

And here I thought Pesci had awful hair.

[ask--prosciutto]

Hm, I don't trust your opinions.

So, that doesn't really bother me. I style my hair however I want, and you'll never catch me with my hair down anyways so who are you to judge.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

As someone with a 10-step hair routine I’m more than qualified to judge that.

[ask--prosciutto]

Putting multiple toxic chemicals on your hair daily? It's fine to have a haircare routine, however you are kind of exaggerating when you over-do it with products.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

You do know that nontoxic hair products exist, right??

[ask--prosciutto]

I am aware but you can't really trust those rich companies to make your hair products, these greedy people will always find a way to slip in something toxic so it could be cheaper.

There were many cases where many hair products ended up exposed to be toxic though it claimed it was not. This had happened with many other things that weren't hair products as well.

(Sorry about my english.. –Mod)

[ask-the-better-illuso]

You sound like one of those american “crunchy moms”

(Don’t worry about it, as someone with english as their first language you’re doing great :} -mod)

[ask--prosciutto]

Okay, but am I wrong? It has been proven many times that they don't care about the hair's health. You can not avoid it. But using many of those products could still cause harm. But honestly that's your choice at the end of the day.

(Thank you!! Idk why I just get really nervous over typos and grammar since it's not my first language. I really appreciate it! –Mod)

[ask-the-better-illuso]

Well your cheap 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner certainly isn’t healthy for your hair either.

(You’re welcome :} -mod)

[ask--prosciutto]

I do not use those cheap 3-in-1. And I am more than aware that no shampoo will ever be non-toxic.

What I was trying to say, Is that you can't really act above somebody just because you use multiple expensive hair products. That you don't even know what half of the things that are written on the label mean, while they use just shampoo and conditioner.

[ask-the-better-illuso]

You could’ve fooled me there, you look like you use that.

Regardless, at least I put actual effort into my hair and its wellbeing. A simple shampoo and conditioner simply won’t cut it, unless you want to look average. If you don’t want to properly take care of your own hair that’s your problem.

[ask--prosciutto]

Okay?