Ask A Bot

Submit an Ask to Optimus Prime (red text), Megatron (purple text) Kup (green text), Starscream (bold blue text), Bumblebee (bold yellow text) and/or Hot Rod (bold pink text).

[ask-a-bot]

Hello there!

This is Megatron speaking. I am here to answer a few of your questions. For some reason.

Because it will be fun! Why not?

Why not introduce yourself?

Oh. Right. I am Optimus Prime. I am also here to answer your... "Asks". Uh. Hello.

Pfffft! You two are so pathetic! Don't you know how to use Tumblr? Hello! I am the aptly named Starscream, because everyone knows I'm really the star here. Send me your Asks and I'll answer when I can be bothered. You're welcome.

Starscream!

Megatron. Shut up.

Hey, I think you should shut up, Starscream. Everyone knows I'll get the most Asks (after Optimus maybe). Autobots rule! Hi, guys! I'm Bumblebee. I'll be happy to answer any Asks you send my way.

I'm Hot Rod! Me 'n' Kup arrived a bit late, but we're here to answer asks too! Hi!

Hello, I'm Kup. I'm Hot Rod's guardian. We were late showin' up because I was busy exploring the universe with 'im. Not here for no popularity contest – I'm happy to let Bumblebee win, if that's what he really wants.

[ask-a-bot]

Nemesis: “…hm. It is probably better for both of us to not linger on the What Ifs. It is impossible to get everything right, what matters is you did the best you could. I remember the battlefield readouts, Bumblebee was well protected. You looked out for him a lot better than I looked out for my own kids. Sunstorm and Bugbite… I often wished I had found a way to smuggle them to safety too. I never did, too terrified of putting them on the DJD’s list if I did. It would never have even been an option with Predaking. Ack, the point I’m trying to make is you did the best you could, so quit beating yourself up over it”

Nemesis: “…hahhh… Sparklings do sound nice, don’t they…”

Yeah... I guess we've all done our best, for better or worse...

Snf. Tell the truth, I love kids. Even human ones.

It's getting them to listen to me that's the real trick.

[ask-a-bot]

Soundblaster: “heh. You’re welcome. Soundblaster: only asks that, while on these ‘missions’, you try keep the Punks out of trouble if possible. Bugbite: has a ‘collection’ of speeding tickets from around the globe. This is not a good thing. Soundblaster: thinks you might be a good role model for my wayward ward…. And Toxitron: too petty for own good… sigh. You can guilt him into behaving.”

Soundblaster: “…Bumblebee: Correct, you are not Sparklings. You are Younglings. It is reasonable that they wish to watch over you, as that is their job. Plus: years of War make everyone overprotective. Motivations: care, not control.”

Soundblaster: “query: are you ready to head home yet? If you are concerned about being rebuked upon returning, Soundblaster will defend you”

Yeah... guess I should go home... snf. Bit tired. Heh heh... or... tyred...

Speeding tickets are no big deal. I got thirty. Optimus pays 'em, apologises, tells me speeding is for the track, I ignore him and put the ticket with my racing trophies.

...

What's up?

[ask-a-bot]

Bugbite: “eh. Outta all th’ ways the war could’a ended, I’ll take weird love story over blew each other up into oblivion, even if it makes my job harder. At least this way, it got me cousins! Proper family! Frag, f’years it was jus’ me, Sunstorm, Predaking and our folks. Now I got uncles and cousins who don’t share my trauma! Talk about a win… ain’t 100% sure how t’feel about Buckethead bein’ part of it yet.”

Bugbite: “I get what ye mean though, ‘bout A Doting Megatron bein’ a weird concept. I used to work for the guy, and I’m still tryin’ ta reconcile that image with the one we got now. No complaints, it’s jus’ weird”

...

It's not really that weird.

Carrier coding can make a doting parent outta anyone.

Well, within reason.

Maybe that's why Megatron volunteered to be the carrier, not the sire... who knows?

[ask-a-bot]

Soundblaster: “Soundblaster: not saying you will, only a hypothetical to aid in discussion.”

Soundblaster: “hmm. Soundblaster: can play peacemaker with parents, and rest of my Family: no doubt will be happy to help cover for you if you wish to sneak out to find him. Bugbite: often goes on ‘Travel Vacations’ across the world, perhaps if you were to accompany him on one and ‘coincidentally’ run into Breakdown along the way… or if Toxitron happens to ‘feel like visiting another ex-Stunticon’…”

[Translation: I’ll provide backup if you need it, and the two Punks would delight in helping you ‘break the rules’ and sneak out]

You... you'd do that? Wow...! That's awesome! Huh... Megatron and Optimus are so annoying! They act like we're all still sparklings.

[ask-a-bot]

Nemesis: “it’s the opposite for me, the only experience I have is with older kids! Honestly, three young ones under my care and I’ve never held a single one as a sparkling… The sad part of life as a clone, is that the nature of your creation often robs you of your childhood. Bugbite, Sunstorm and Predaking, developmentally speaking, were all created mentally in their late adolescence, the tail end of their ‘childhood’. Soundblaster, Toxitron and I didn’t even get that much, we were always adults”

Nemesis: “I’m… glad Toxitron gets this opportunity, as ‘scary’ as it may be”

[Nemesis shakes off the melancholy, looking a little embarrassed to have gotten so emotional]

Nemesis: “I ah, I’ve sent a message. They’ve elected to travel via ground bridge. Sunstorm was prepared to fly here, but Toxitron wasn’t keen on having to drive all the way from the south coast to up here. They should be here by first light tomorrow, if that is alright?”

Bumblebee was orphaned as a... small youngling. Just a little older than a sparkling. We found him wandering around in rubble after one of the very first battles. I never held him as a sparkling, either.

After I'd taken Bumblebee in, Ratchet took on Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Raised those two. Not that they listen to him.

Hhhhrrrrgh. Not that Bumblebee and Hot Rod listen to me, either.

Hot Rod was a tiny sparkling, found by Elita-1. She brought him to me and said Bumblebee should have a little brother. I took responsibility for every feed, every clean-up... but we were running low on energon. If the little ones were going to survive...

I... entrusted Kup with Hot Rod's care, took Bumblebee with me... and left Cybertron in search of energy.

Maybe I should've left Bumblebee with Kup too... a war is no place for a growing youngling and keeping him off the battlefield and out of trouble wasn't possible. He never listened.

Take it from me, sparklings are easier. Even when they can't talk to tell you what's wrong, they smile when they're happy, cry when they're not and don't go ahead and do the very thing you just told them not to do.

[ask-a-bot]

Bugbite: “pfft hahahHA!! Oh man, can’t hold it in anymore! Sorry mech, y’response t’seein’ me for th’ first time was absolutely golden. Y’looked so deeply concerned. The name’s Bugbite! Ex-Decepticon Assassin f’hire - y’need an enemy outta the picture? I’m ya guy.”

Bugbite: “I’m the clone of Bumblebee tha’ Black Arachnia made a while back durin’ the war. Ever hear of the Archa-7 cloning project? Ye I’m one of them. Anyways, Nice t’meet ya now that the whole thing’s over!”

[Bugbite offers his hand to shake]

Bugbite: “I get what y’mean about it being weird that the wars over. It’s even weirder for us lot who were literally made for the war. Us custom-made soldiers and livin’ weapons sorta feel like the proverbial rug got pulled out from under us, it’s all very disconcerting. It’s been a bit of a financial crisis for us Mercenaries too, it’s been slow business since everyone stopped tryin’ t’end each other. It’s why I’m back livin’ with m’folks”

Bugbite: “never would have guessed it’d end the way it did neither. Though I did have a bet that Prime and Megs had a thing for each other, there was a lotta cash ridin on that… eh, don’ tell Nemesis and Soundblaster ‘bout that. I been banned from gambling ever since Skybite bit m’finger off…”

...

I didn't say it's weird the war's over. I said the way it ended was weird.

Megatron suddenly deciding he wanted peace was weird enough...

Deciding he wanted to frag Optimus was even weirder. I heard they've got sparklings now... definitely weird.

Their sparklings are actually really cute – Megatron's a doting, somewhat overprotective carrier and Optimus is a supportive sire. They take turns with the feeds, play with 'em...

...

Like I said. Weird.

Would you prefer it if the twins were neglected, Ironhide?

No. But I would've expected Megatron to make a terrible carrier and Optimus to have to do it all.

[ask-a-bot]

Hi guys!!

Little update, but I’m graduating early from community college with my associates in art!! I’m so happy! Then I’m transferring to my dream school to get my bachelors in graphic design! I’m scared but happy because I’ll be on my own 🥲

Wonderful! Well done.

Excellent. I do not understand much of that, but it sounds like a great achievement. Congratulations.

Well done. Bet I can draw better than you, though.

Starscream...

What?

Can you not be pleasant at least once a day? You shame yourself and embarrass me.

Cool!

Graphic design? Sounds like fun! What will you design? Cities? Cars?

Nice one!

...

You know, Hot Rod needs an Earth vehicle alt. You should design one for him.

Pity nobody can design Bumblebee and Starscream some manners...

I'm not as bad as he is!

Shut up, Bumbumbee!

Both of you, cut it out or I'll give you a Corner Of Shame each to sit in.

Yeah, shut up.

Pfffffrrrrrrappt!

Starscream! Enough.

Oh, just ignore 'em.

Great going, kid! Most of us are proud of ya.

[ask-a-bot]

He definitely looks like him Ironhide, but last time you saw Bee, was he missing a finger and sporting the Mercenary Insignia? Look a little closer… 👀

Little punk! What's he doin' with Kup?!

Hey, Kup. C'mere.

Is there a problem, Ironhide?

That's not Bumblebee, is it? Are ya in some kind o' trouble?

Nah. Don't worry. He's actually a pretty good kid. He's staying with Prime 'n' Megatron at their place.

...

Huh.

Still can't believe they ended the war by...

Yeah, I know. But they're happy together. You should go visit, sometime.

...

Mebbe.

[ask-a-bot]

Nemesis: “thank you. Apparently Acid Storm keeps interrogating him on what to do, and he keeps getting the answers wrong. Poor Tox. Only thing he was somewhat confident on was how to swaddle the little-un, but he realised he doesn’t really know how to do that if the little one inherits Acid Storm’s Wings. I think he’s spiralling”

Nemesis: “oh, right. The little one will likely inherit one of the pair’s outlier abilities, or potentially a mix of the two, but it shouldn’t kick in until they’re a bit older. And if they are born with it…

[Nemesis looks mildly haunted, but reluctantly accepting]

Nemesis: “…Toxitron remembers how to re-create one of Black Arachnia’s outlier inhibitor collars for the kid to wear until they can control the power on their own. It’s not a great solution, but unfortunately when it comes to Hazardous abilities like that it’s the safest option. You won’t have to worry about the little one accidentally hurting anyone, that part has plenty of countermeasures in place”

Well... I'll help as much as I can. I'm OK with sparklings... it's the older kids I struggle with.

[ask-a-bot]

Soundblaster: “hmm. Soundblaster: understands what Optimus is trying to say - if the two of you were to hypothetically break up, even if it was a mutual thing and not a big drama, public opinion would likely side with you against Breakdown. The Rumour Mill: vicious and hungry, and Gossip circles could fabricate stories to add more Drama to it. So yes, Soundblaster: understands where Prime’s concern stems from. People: can suck.”

Soundblaster: “no relationship is without risk either, especially not Cross-faction ones. Even Nemesis and I faced backlash, Soundblaster: in particular. Soundblaster: often mocked for choosing a partner that resembled the Autobot leader. That stigma is likely why Megatron is siding with Optimus in these arguments, as he is worried about you and Breakdown.”

Soundblaster: “That being said, Soundblaster: does not believe these are sufficient enough reasons to discontinue the relationship. Simply, that Caution: recommended. Example: Nemesis and I keep our relationship quiet, but not hidden. Subtle. Not a secret relationship, just not loudly announcing it and drawing unwanted attention is all. It’s our business, not the general public’s. Does that make sense?”

Soundblaster: “I do not disagree with you though, the age gap concerns are fairly ridiculous. Our people live for literally Millions of years. Soundblaster: encountered much larger gaps than yours and Breakdown’s.”

Huh. I don't think we'd ever break up. I love Breakdown!

... Help us? Please?

[ask-a-bot]

Bugbite: “ohhh, ‘Party Ambulance’? Ratchet having a wild phase?? Oooh, I sense gossip! Got any stories??”

[he still sounds like Bumblebee, and seems to have mimicked his physical mannerisms quite well. Whether Ironhine figures out he’s a one or not remains to be seen…]

Not if I want t'keep my helm, there aren't.

Heh heh.

Drinks on the house, Kup. What can I get ya?

Usual for me. How 'bout you, kid?

[ask-a-bot]

Nemesis: “I have no doubt that Sunstorm would be fine with following the house rules. He has always been the better behaved young one, out of all of them. Additionally, though he is no longer a devout Primalist, he still has a deep respect for the lineage of the Primes except Sentinel, and is more likely to listen to you compared to the other little scraplets”

Predaking, from outside: “I heard that!!”

Nemesis: “my brother Toxitron… eh. No idea. He’s where Bugbite got his… Punk aesthetic from. Bit of a role model. He’s mellowed out a lot over the years though, he should be more well behaved. Truth be told I suspect his goal in coming here is to learn how to care for a sparkling. Acid Storm apparently wants him to learn from you two, before their ‘oops baby’ joins them. Acid has some prior experience as a nanny and sitter pre-war… and from working with Starscream for years, but Tox was created during one of the worst phases of it so he’s got no clue what to do, and is panicking.”

Nemesis: “I’m still mentally recovering from the fact those two actually conceived, medics told them they were both too corrosive and toxic respectively to be able to do so. I suppose they were sufficiently compatible chemically speaking…”

That's a lot to take in... but, yeah, OK, we can help them learn about sparklings.

Uh... I take it handling said sparkling might be dangerous...?

[ask-a-bot]

Soundblaster: “heh, could visit Malto family briefly, limit exposure to Agent of Chaos… hm. Soundblaster: remembers Breakdown. Toxitron: former Stunticon, fought alongside Breakdown, and often spoke of him kindly, once citing that ‘Breakdown was… is… the o-nly member of the t-team… that didn’t treat me like Gar-bage for looking like Pri-i-me’.

[Soundblaster was playing a recording of Toxitron’s speech. Background noise indicates they were in medbay at the time, and Toxitron sounded hurt. Badly.]

Soundblaster: “Bugbite: would definitely agree to help you locate him. There is… a debt of gratitude. Bugbite, Toxitron and I: all from same cloning Facility on Archa-7. There is kinship. Truthfully, Bugbite: not the only one who wishes to express gratitude for Breakdown’s kindness. We did not receive much over the years…”

I like Breakdown, but Optimus gets jumpy 'n' mad whenever I go see him and Megatron's started taking his side, saying things like...

"Breakdown's the legal adult and you're an Autobot. If you change your mind later, it could be dangerous for him."

I mean... what's he trying to say? I'll lie and tell everyone Breakdown kidnapped me? I'm not even that much younger! I'm practically a grown-up!

They're both being stupid!

[ask-a-bot]

Hello everyone! Another question,

Do you guys have birthdays, and if so, have you celebrated them? And if you have, whose birthdays next?

Uhhhh... let's see. Teletraan-1 answered this question before, but we only really celebrate with human friends. I'll just... the printout must be here somewhere.

Mine is on the 5th day of March.

It is? Are you sure?

Yes! And I want-

Oh, here we go. You can go write a letter to Santa, like everyone else.

That was Christmas, you gigantic oaf!

Now you've been naughty, so you won't get any presents.

That's still Christmas, you... Aaaauurgh!

Optimus, you should not tease him. Now his door-slamming flounce has woken the twins.

Yeah... OK. I'm sorry. I'll go smooth things over.

No. You will settle the sparklings and I shall talk to Starscream. Idiot!

Love me?

Hmph.

[ask-a-bot]

Pssst, Ironhide!! I don’t think that’s Bumblebee…. 👀

It's not? Who is it, then? It looks like him, only... like a punk.

[ask-a-bot]

Soundblaster: “hmm. When it comes to age and what is appropriate based upon it, asking the Clone: not the most logical choice. Soundblaster: never been 100% certain on what is appropriate or not, as chronological and mental ages do not necessarily align. Soundblaster’s doubts: likely one of the reasons Bugbite: is way he is. Got away with a lot. Though, regardless of the Breakdown Situation, Soundblaster: believes you should talk about feeling invisible with Optimus. Continuation of this feeling and trend of behavior: unhealthy for all parties”

Soundblaster: “Bugbite: would likely be thrilled to return to the Malto household with you. He would be delighted to meet the Terrans. Concern: Bugbite may not be the most… beneficial influence on the Malto children. Chaos & rebellion: highly probable, LOL”

Yeah... Robby and Thrash are already pretty rebellious and I really don't think Ranger Malto needs any more chaos.

So. What if we go find Breakdown?