ain't no party like a fëanorian party

Tyelkormo Turcafinwe, bad motherfucker, son of Feanor, party rocker.

[ask-cleeg]

I've heard tell that you start rumors about yourself and then actively encourage them.

oh definitely. I have absolutely done that. 

the bad ones are all Angamaitë’s fault though, I’d like that on the record. also completely false

[ask-cleeg]

To say the battle itself (no, not a battle, but he wouldn't call it what it was) was a blur was not quite true. If anything, it was almost too clear, too sharp. When it was over, in the lull when the fighting was done, Celegorm stood breathing hard and faintly dazed. He felt vaguely detached from himself, as though he had just watched everything that had happened-

(Had watched himself impale one of the Teleri on his sword, watched his eyes widen and heard him gasp out his life.)

Celegorm's eyes caught on the blood on his blade. He needed to clean it. It was going to rust otherwise. 

There were dead Elves on the ground and blood soaking into the sand, he thought. Dead Elves. He'd killed some of them. 

He turned and walked jerkily away from the milling crowd, nearly stumbling. He didn't get far, but just far enough that he hoped his brothers wouldn't hear - or worse, his father. 

Then Celegorm doubled over and emptied his stomach.

[roleplayermemes]

Anonymously or not, try to make my character angry.

— Try to make my character hellishly angry - furious even. The only word limit is one inbox message, the minimum is one sentence.

[ask-cleeg]

? (Luthien)

I should have killed you the moment Huan brought you to me. Driven a blade into your heart and never looked back. Or else I should have sent you on your way and let you search blindly and alone for your lover. Your footsteps were the sound of the Doom, or else your lover's were and yours sealed our fate. Your fair face hides the heart of a witch and a thief, closer to the Valar than the Eldar with all of their lack of compassion. 

...no, that is not true. 

I believed I desired you. Perhaps I did in truth, I no longer know. I do not remember. So much of that time is a blur, now, of anger and fear and desperation. I wanted to believe that we were justified, that what we did was necessary. I knew we had come too far to turn away. I did not consider what you wanted. 

I should have sent you back to your father. That would have been the best course, I see that now. Perhaps then- 

But that is not true either. 

I have hated you and desired you and hated you again. I know you would have seen me and my brother dead and not have mourned. You seduced my friend away (no - no, he chose to follow you, he chose to leave me). You-

I would like to blame you for all of it, but we were already doomed. What did I gain, in the end, but another black mark to my account?

Your son, when he killed me - he looked like you. The same rage in his eyes as was in yours, when I held you prisoner. The same defiance. The same beauty. When I saw him I thought briefly that he could have been mine. If things had been different-

I was wrong. To try to keep you, to hold you. But it does not matter now. You are beyond hearing, wherever mortals go. Free of this damned world. Your lover...I hope he pleased you. I hope you were happy, for a time. 

You deserved that much.

[ask-cleeg]

?? for Aredhel

Sometimes I think I failed you most of all. Out of all of those I have failed, even my father, even my brothers - even if I could not have known. Could you not have stayed a little longer? Waited a little longer? I know you must have been restless but if you had simply waited for me to return-

And then I wonder. Would it have been better or would we simply have fought as we did before? You raged at me then. I thought perhaps you would attack me. I laughed at your anger because I was frightened and confused and - that is no excuse. I did not realize that we were going to leave the host behind. I did not know, but I did not fight it either when I did know. I should have guessed that you would not turn back. 

I should have been there to meet you. But you - you could have come to me! When you were free, you could have come to find me, to seek sanctuary with me. I would have sheltered you - you and your son, I would not have cared whose he was. I would have killed the bastard who hunted you, I would have kept you safe. Did you not trust that I would do so? Did you hate me that much, even then? 

No - no, I know it was not me you thought of then. But I wish you had. 

But the truth is that there was never anything there. Is that it? You were content to play at love in Valinor, but you were never mine the way that I would have been yours. And if there was friendship it burned with the ships and froze on the ice. 

If I had been there - if you had waited - if, if, if. My brother told me not to dwell. Told me not to chase after you and play the fool. I should not have heeded him. I should have hunted you. Your rage would have been worth the knowing. 

I loved you. I love you. I am sorry.

[ask-cleeg]

?? for Nerdanel

Ammë, I-

I don't know what to say to you. I do not know what you must think of me. I do not know if I want to know. Almost, I hope that you hate me - it would be easier for you, I must think, not to have to grieve. 

I miss you. I have missed you often, over the years, when I wished I could ask for your council or simply for your embrace. But we made our choice, I suppose. All of us. 

Were you angry? Did you feel betrayed? 

I wish I had bade you farewell. I thought it would be a betrayal, since you and father were so estranged and you opposed his choice. I hope you have been happy. I hope you have been well. 

I suppose I will never know. 

How much did you guess of what would come? Did you weep to hear of our deaths, or had you already done your mourning by then? 

I am - I am sorry I did not protect Ambarto. Or Curufinwë or Carnistir. I should have done more, I should have...

It does not matter. 

I still love you, Ammë. I hope that you are well. That you have found the happiness that we surrendered. 

[ameliarating]

thing celegorm has definitely called finrod:

fun-da-ruiner

[ask-cleeg]

?? for Amrod

Brother, I...there is nothing I can say except that I am sorry. It is not enough. Out of all the sins that can be held to my account, your death is, I think, the worst. You were my little brother and I let you burn. I should have...I do not know. You should not have had to come. You should have stayed home, with mother, and lived. 

You should not have been damned and murdered for a cause you did not even believe in. 

I wonder sometimes if I held the torch that set the ship that held you alight. I think back and wonder if I heard screams and silenced them, thinking I was remembering the slaughter at Alqualonde. I do not think these things often. I cannot. I do not want to know. Is that weak of me? 

Either way, it does not matter. I did not stop the burning and I did not look for you. And that is my fault. 

Would you forgive me, if we could speak again?

[ask-cleeg]

?.

Father. 

I failed you. I know that. We did not fight hard enough or try hard enough. But that is not...that is not what I would say to you, if I could. 

What I would say is: how could you? How could you do this to us? How could you condemn us to this pointless, useless battle that we could not win? I do not pretend to understand what your craft meant to you, but did it mean more than your sons? Than our lives? We took - I took the Oath with you because I loved you and you were my father, but I have wondered since if you loved us the same. 

You died. You died and with your dying breath reminded us of our promise as if we could any of us forget, and then you were gone. The Valar damned us first, but you damned us just as well. 

I wish I did not doubt. I wish I had Curvo's unshakeable faith that what you did you did for the best, but I do not. Maybe you did not know how the Oath would hound us, hunt us, kill us. 

More often I wonder if you didn't care. 

[ask-cleeg]

? for Finrod

You were a fool, cousin. You chose your own death. You ran off, leaving your kingdom and your people behind, chasing a promise to a mortal long dead for a cause you must have known was futile. I would have expected more from you; weren't you supposed to be one of the clever ones? A mind for strategy? You must have known what would happen. You must have foreseen it. And yet you agreed just the same, to a quest you knew would force the breaking of what friendship we had managed to forge. 

Did you care nothing for our right? For our oath? What made yours more important? What permitted your promise to a mortal to supercede ours to the Valar themselves? Did you care nothing for yourself?

Do you know what it felt like? You betrayed us. Whatever we had done before then - you knew the choice we had. The void or the Oath, nothing else. And yet you would have given us the void. 

I thought you would turn back. I truly believed you would turn back, when you realized you would stand alone. When I heard that you had died-

You should never have done it. 

But when I heard you had died...

I am sorry. You deserved better. You deserved the best death that any of us could hope for, not a pit in the dark and the teeth of a wolf. I mourned for you as I knew how. I wondered, later, if it pleased you how thoroughly I lost everything that was left. I dreamed that you haunted me, laughing at my pain, hounding me even unto death. I could not look back and I could not regret, I had to keep going and there was nothing left but the Oath, you don't understand what it was like, but you...I regretted that. 

And I am sorry.

[ask-cleeg]

? (for beren of course)

You were pleasing to look at, and all else aside I meant what I said about being interested in having you in my bed for a night. 

But that's not...really what I'd like to say. There's a lot of things I'd like to say and none of it it - I know, rationally, it was not your fault. But everything fell apart after you came, and in a way it was your fault. If you hadn't come to demand my cousin keep a foolish oath made to some ancestor of yours, if you hadn't crept into woods in which you had no business and glimpsed what you had no right to see, if you had accepted your lot in life to grow old and die among your own kind - it would have been fine. Findarato need not have died, he wouldn't have betrayed us, and how much might have been different then? Your son need not have died if you had not tried to lay claim to my father's property.

Your arrival brought it all down. You did not understand what you were meddling with, as though our father's life's work was nothing but a bauble for you to claim in exchange for the woman you wanted. If you had known what would come of it, would you still have pursued that quest so ardently? 

I will not apologize to you. I will never apologize to you. 

And yet - I do not hate you. My brother hates you, but I...

Is it a foolish heart that sometimes wondered if, had things been different, we might have been friends? Probably. 

Either way, it does not matter. Sometimes I am even sorry. But briefly, and for a few moments, that things came out as they did. 

Perhaps I merely envy you your freedom. None of us could act outside the bonds of the Valar, or Fate, or whatever you may call it, save you. And only you could die and be free of all of this. 

[weaponizedhawkarchive]

Send me a "?" for something my muse hasn't had the guts to say to yours.

[ask-cleeg]

-runs fingers through cleegs's hair- hey baby you come here often? would you like to?

where am I coming? and who am I coming to? but I'm up for at least talking about it if preferably with a little more information on who's propositioning me

...man I miss sex

[ask-cleeg]

i've heard that you really, really want to bang your brother Curvo ...

"really, really want" is a total exaggeration but I wouldn't say I've never thought of it either and I'm going to leave it at that except to add that it was totally hypothetical all right

[ask-cleeg]

paradife-loft replied to your post: “how will you rank you cousins in terms of 10/10 would bang”:

geez now /I'm/ thinking dirty thoughts about turgon and curvo's kinda disgruntled o.O

//haha mission accomplished

[ask-cleeg]

I hear you'd even bang Umaiar if they were hot enough. (Some people say you already have.)

Welllll I haven't actually met any so I'm hard pressed to say. At least, nobody's ever turned to me the morning after and said "by the way, Tyelko, I am an Umaia" so it's possible, I guess? 

But to be honest if they weren't trying to kill me and didn't identify themselves it's a possibility. 

I'm not saying I'm proud of it, necessarily...

[ask-cleeg]

"Turko!" Maedhros voice is calm but there is a sharp undertone to it. "Would you kindly enlighten me as to why two ladies came up to me yesterday both calling me various names and claiming that, weren't for my plan to have you marry politically they would be your wife by now?"

Celegorm doesn't look in the least bit embarrassed. He does try for surprised, though, a little. "I might have implied something along those lines at some point? I'm sure you handled it very gracefully, though."

His smile is very winning. Or might be on anyone other than an older brother.