Jimmy. I Guard The Throne. I’m Your Cousin.

406 m, he/him, Custodes. I make sure people don’t get into rooms I don’t want them in, do you understand me?

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Wut don’t you’z undahstan’d, cousin? Wut? Can’t you’z see we’re guardin’ here? Comm’on!

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

W’ut you do not understand about us Custodes is da Emperah makes it where we’z ain’t gotta use da shitter, see? Cousin, He on da THRONE jus’ sends it away as it comes out, no hands needed. Ha! He does dis… fer us.

[firstchaplainerebus]

I’ve decided I want a discord server so I can yell opinions in two places. And shoot the shit.

So come one come all. Join the serpent lodge

https://discord.gg/Q7VNBdZS

Join the The Serpent Lodge Discord Server!

Check out the The Serpent Lodge community on Discord - hang out with 2 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

I’m in dare, for real

[skunts-own-truth]

“Perhaps you are right, Garviel… Perhaps I am being too Nostalgic, but just think of what you accuse me of: nostalgia for a time when the Emperor walked among us, waging war across the stars to unite the lost children of man under the banner of Terra. Yes, Garviel, I am nostalgic, and this new age… this new title. Warmaster. It does not sit well with me. You name me “Critic,” yet I can see the unease in your own eyes, Loken. Something terrible is coming… You can feel it too, and who knows, perhaps I shall look back on this moment, and find myself nostalgically missing our talks while the galaxy burns around us…”

- Horus Heresy AU where everything is the same, but Doug Walker is in the Mournival.

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Listen, cousin…

Big.

Do ya understand?

[firstchaplainerebus]

The weed heresy. Legalize it horus

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Da Dark Fingers

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Predicted Elden Ring. HA

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Wanna rp

Yes, cousin, I will be Mario and you will be??

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Sora Kingdomheart, the 11th Primarch, master of the Radiant Keys legion. Know him, cousin, know him and drop to yer knees in awe.

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

All video games outlawed on Terra except for Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories (game boy edition) because you’z didnt vote Bearny Sanders into office, cousin. Circa 999.M02 an’ it’s all yer fault.

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Cousin, ya caught me deep in thought’bout:

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Yer cousin, Jimmy, he ain’t nevah liked bones. Da Television Programme, nor da bones in our bodies. Bones just ain’t good, cousin, an’ dats da facts’ah’life. Hah.

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Hah, cousin, da one an’ only ting I evah learned from Fulgrim (you know ‘em, da Pra’s Children’s papa, ha,) is dat ass ta ass is da kindest ting you’z can do wif yer neighbor.

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

@tzeentchs-secretary Cousin, I ‘ave been informed by da Emperah, Holy-Ovah-Dare, dat birds an’ all bird-like tings weren’t evah real. Gotta admit, I’m a lil’ shook, hah. Yer ol’ cousin Jimmy don’t even know what’ta believe. Iffen you ain’t a bird... what could ya be?

Fiddle sticks, dis ‘ere is a tinker!

[tzeentchs-secretary]

"Pigeons are government drones Jimmy. Beware. They may steal your memories."

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Ah... cousin, I see... “da gubment” yeh, no, it all makes sense ta me now, e’reting jus’ clicked tagetha. I’z gotta round up da cousin-Custodes an’ get’ta work... if da gubment’s afta da Emperah, den we can’t be havin’ deese pigeons runnin’ amuck!

“No more pigeons” sayeth I, captain-general Jimmy, guardian, an’ cousin to all.

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

@tzeentchs-secretary Cousin, I ‘ave been informed by da Emperah, Holy-Ovah-Dare, dat birds an’ all bird-like tings weren’t evah real. Gotta admit, I’m a lil’ shook, hah. Yer ol’ cousin Jimmy don’t even know what’ta believe. Iffen you ain’t a bird... what could ya be?

Fiddle sticks, dis ‘ere is a tinker!

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Listen, cousin, take it from’ah Custodian, heh: Lore Accuracy is in da eye’ah da beholdah, an’ right now I’m ovah ‘ere beholdin’ you’z as kinda stupid. Ahaaah, gotcha, cousin! Hah!

While you’z were arguin’ ovah da nature of da Emperah’s divinininity, I gave Him on da Throne a much vaunted an’ well deserved High Five. See, if you knew what I knew, cousin... heh... you’d know by now, dat da Emperah ‘ere? His right arm? He uses all His will and His might ta keep da skin on dare fresh, for High Fives most spectacula! Day don’t tell ya dat in da Lex Imperialis, cousin.

[ask-custodian-jimmy]

Woo, cousin, yer cousin Jimmy? Heh, he loves’ah two-pump chump.