[ This is only part of the full PSA (including evidence) which you can find here ]
Grooming, Victim blaming, Harassment, Sexual abuse, Suicide / Self-harm mention, Emotional / Mental abuse mention
Some of you may know about the PSA that circulated a few months ago regarding The-House-of-Hemingwayās relationship and unacceptable sexual interactions with someone who was a minor. Hemingway now goes by C-a-l-y-p-s-o. This post will discuss the details of the PSA, as well as this userās concerning past and present behavior.Ā
To the best of the ability of those responsible for this document, the username will continually be updated so that this person cannot interact with members of this community again without disclosing who they are, regardless if the interaction is safe-for-work or not.
The following post is intended to bring awareness to someone who is
Confirmed to be a groomer.
Attempting to convince members of the pokeask community that they have āchangedā but is clearly trying to win favor with you.
A risk to the community, cannot be safely trusted, and needs to exit community spaces.
Harassment of Calypso in any form is unacceptable behavior. The purpose of this post is to inform. This is not a call for hostile action beyond a block on every social media possible.Ā
Please respect the victimās boundaries and do not badger them for further details than what has been disclosed. While disagreement and discussion is OK, please keep your comments outside of tumblr and public discord servers.Ā
If harassment occurs, the names of any individuals who dogpile, send death threats to, or doxx those involved with this situation will also be listed (with concrete evidence only) on this document.Ā
Tumblr user @C-a-l-y-p-s-o, previously known as the mod behind the pokeask blog āhouse-of-hemingway,ā is a confirmed groomer who has deleted their admission of guilt to save face.
Calypso has violated a boundary that is expected between a victim and an abuser by leveraging themselves into positions of authority (server moderators, event leaders, etc.)
Calypso has broken promises made to their peers over the course of their internet presence, changing names and website profiles/identities in order to escape the responsibility for their actions.
Calypso is attempting to fall back into good graces by sending copy-pasted positivity asks on mundays to sweep their notoriety under the rug.Ā
This document will contain proof of the above in exhaustive detail under the āreadmoreā, or if you are viewing this in the public google document form, it will be under the resources.
We are using this as an opportunity to take a firm stance against grooming in the community, and to express our support for survivors. Our goal is to address the circumstances under which it happens with preventive guidelines and trauma-informed resources.
What does grooming look like? A quick guide written by survivors of abuse within the Pokeask community:
The adult may not approach you with the intention of grooming you.Ā
The objective of grooming is for an adult to turn their bond with a minor into a transactional relationship; circumstances in which the minor is providing something for themā whether that be emotional support or sexual gratificationā and normalizes breaking boundaries to do so.
Though they may not realize they are blurring or overstepping your boundaries, the effect is still the same; they are desensitizing you to unfair and inappropriate treatment.
Many adults deal with mental illness, go through hard times, and struggle with loneliness. If youāre acquaintances or friends, you naturally might want to support them, āfixā their problems, or do them favors because theyāve been nice to you or because theyāre not being malicious.
But ultimately, prioritizing their wellbeing compromises your own, well-meaning or not. That is what an imbalanced power dynamic looks like, and it is up to the adult to realize this, acknowledge it, and seek out other outlets, resources, people, and help available to them.Ā
A responsible adult does not take advantage of your availability when given the opportunity to do so over other appropriate choices, no matter what.Ā
The adult may expect you to be available at all times.
Guilt-tripping when you do not respond to their messages, spamming your DMs, or demanding that you spend most of your online time with them.Ā
Making time for them might mean you end up spending less time with your friends and become distant from others in your social circle.Ā
A red flag to look for is if they call you their ābest / closest friendā over other adult relationships in their life.
The adult may put the burden of their mental health or well-being on you.Ā
This can include constant venting / oversharing, validation seeking, or coming to you when they are in a mental health crisis. This can happen in private dms or in public servers.Ā
Remember, no one individual is responsible for managing a loved oneās mental health, and it is not OK to expect a teenager to intervene when someone is threatening suicide or self-harm. That is for a trained professional to handle.
The adult may invite you into unmoderated spaces with other adults.Ā
They might have ālightheartedā conversations with you or in front of you about sexual content, flirt with you, share explicit images / memes where you can see them, ask to role-play erotic scenarios with your ocs, or draw NSFW / suggestive art of your ocs / sona.Ā
Red flags to look for are adults telling you that you are mature for your age, asking you to keep their interactions with you a secret, or interacting inappropriately with you in voice call so that there is no chat log of what theyāve said.
You do not owe your followers or fans your attention if you feel uncomfortable.
A friendship between two artists or between you and a fan of your work should not involve any pressure to reciprocate gift art, respond to asks, or role-play.
If someone crosses your boundaries based on a perceived parasocial relationship with you, or makes you feel guilty for not interacting with them, you are in your full right to block them.
If you suspect an ask is a covert fetish, such as asking you to draw an overly specific subject or situation, report them to an adult in the community.
Similarly, if someone you are a fan of is crossing your boundaries, take a step back to evaluate whether you would be OK with it if they were not someone you admire.Ā
Just because someone is popular, skilled at art, widely respected, or well-liked does not give them the right to treat you in the ways listed above.Ā
Listen to your gut; if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, but are doubting your feelings because you look up to the person youāre interacting with, take a step back and tell someone you trust. No friendship is worth being treated this way.
If you suspect you were groomed in the past, or are wondering if a relationship you have with an adult is inappropriate, please look through the information linked in this section. Hotlines, counseling and self-help resources for survivors are listed here as well.Ā
List of Hotlines by Country | 1, 2Ā
Global Online Image (CSAM) Removal | 1, 2
Education & Resources | UK, CA, AUS, US (eng, esp)
Online Image Removal | UK, CA, AUS
LGBT+ Specific | UK, CA, AUS, US
BIPOC Specific | UK, CA, AUS, US
Crisis Support & Counseling (Email, Phone, Text, Video Call; Eng & BSL)
Counseling (Phone, Text; Eng, Fr, Indigenous languages, Other languages, ASL)
Crisis Support (Phone; First Nations responders available)
Crisis Support & Counseling (Phone, Text, Other; Several languages available; Aboriginal responders available; Auslan)
Crisis Support & Counseling (Phone, Text, Other; Several languages available; Indigenous responders available; ASL)
About the bill to pressure American corporations to remove reported CSAM from their websites
Coming forward about abuse can be re-traumatizing and difficult, but it can also be healing and liberatingā It allows for a survivor to be in charge of their narrative and to lead the conversation surrounding their trauma.Ā
Sometimes, it takes years to recognize trauma or past abuse, let alone to be ready to publicly talk about it. It is validating to finally be able to say, āThis happened to me. I survived it. I deserved better.ā to the world.Ā
Trauma follows us for a long time. No matter how much time has passed, a victim has the right to disclose their abuse and hold their abuser accountable. It is our responsibility to listen. https://metoomvmt.org/
Full PSA with evidence continued hereā¦
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