Suilaid Stranger!

Elladan, Son of Elrond and Celebrían. Brother to Elrohir and Arwen. ask

[ask-erestor]

[ask-erestor]

Erestor nodded, listening closely to Elladan’s desperate words. He didn’t bother asking the younger elf to look at him again, seeing that he was currently burdened with a great pain. “Elladan, you need not speak his name for it is not my place to ask of it but one can only assume that this is someone you have known for some time now, that this being lives here in Imladris. I do have my suspicions for who it is but I won’t jump to any conclusions.” he announced, picking up a pot of sweet herbal tea and pouring it. He offered some to Elladan and took a sip from his own cup. “Anírog haw? Drink - it helps.”

It was a beautiful day in Rivendell - much like any other but somewhat brighter and cheerier. The sounds of elflings playing amidst the courtyards echoed in a burst of laughter. The skies had seemed empty ever since Elladan took to locking himself away in silence for days on end but now all seemed at peace one more and the universal balance lived on. After a moment of admiration, Erestor turned his attention back to the younger elf.  “If you know that he feels the same way you do - torn and lost - then you should talk to him about it. Otherwise, both of you will be locked in this situation for eternity. It’s the only logical thing to do, Elladan. I know it takes a lot of courage but you do have strength inside of you, whether you believe it or not.”

[ask-elladan-blog]

He pressed his lips together, wincing softly. He didn’t doubt that Erestor had his suspicions. And he wagered that Erestor’s suspicions were correct; they tended to be. “Aye. Thand. I’ve known him for quite some time. Ni ‘lassui, Erestor. For not pressuring me for a name. You must be curious.” He did not know how people would react to this development of things… he hardly knew himself. Nevertheless, Elladan grateful accepted the tea and then promptly scalded his tongue. Grimacing slightly, he took a less hasty sip of the boiling hot brew. Hmph. Patience was key.

And it was true. He did feel better. At least he had for a couple of weeks; until his ever-reliable conscience caught up with him. He knew that he felt better as well. It might not have been quite as obvious because he was less prone to outbursts of the emotional kind, but Elladan knew better than most that he’d been suffering as well. He sighed at Erestor’s words. They bore nothing but trouble. They were the truth, of course. And he expected nothing else of the unfairly perceptive mentor… but still. He frowned and then took another slow drink of the tea before glancing warily at Erestor. “Ai… iston. I know that I should. Except that he is not one for talking about these things and I am too emotional for my own good. We’ve been carefully avoiding the subject at hand for weeks now.” He flushed, remembering that Erestor did not know for just how long this had been going on. Well, now he did.

[ask-erestor]

“Well, a wise man once said ‘be curious, not judgmental’”. Erestor replied with a grin. He looked to his cup and swirled its blood red contents. Startled at Elladan’s words he swiftly looked back to the younger elf. Erestor had figured that Elladan’s feelings had only come to him recently but now the seriousness of these feelings became clear. “Elladan, please excuse me for being bold but don’t you think enough is enough? If this is bothering you - which it clearly is - then why would you linger in these feelings of desperation, waiting for something to happen? Courage, my child. Av-‘osto. It is fear that leads to mistakes and unwanted situations. Treat this as one of your hunting trips; you have the power and control over the situation, you can find the best time to proceed to strike when the advantages become clear.”

[ask-elladan-blog]

Elladan chuckled at Erestor's words. "And was that wise man you, by chance?" He flinched a little at the harsher tone that followed, staring now transfixedly at the drink in his cup. He took a long drink, wishing immediately that it could be wine; his old friend, and pointedly looking anywhere but at Erestor. "I... I know how he feels about me, I am not sure how feels about- about us. Because it is wrong. It isn't the way it's supposed to be." He choked and shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, wanting desperately to burrow his face in hands - but aside from the fact that he couldn't as his drink would subsequently spill - he knew that it would be seen as a childish move. "I am also afraid. Maybe it's because we have both been hurt and it is just a temporary comfort... but I am afraid of so much more. Erestor... what if I forget Halbarad? I have already begun to forget his voice."

[ask-erestor]

ask-elladan asked you:

Û! Alas… not really. Maybe… Ú-iston. Perhaps?

Come, tell me. Man te, Elladan? Av-‘osto. You need not hide from me - surely you know that by now.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Nay,

[ask-elladan-blog]

He could not very well think of any legitimate reason to put this off. He had come, seeking advice and now the only thing stopping him was his raging conscience. He knew as well that he could leave, that he did not have to say anything, and that Erestor would refrain from judging him harshly for that. The advisor wasn’t demanding of him to say anything… Elladan reluctantly looked away from Erestor and into the valley of Imladris. He wrung his hands in frustration for a while and then, finally, took a deep breath. “I love another,” he began. “I feel- I feel as if I am betraying Halbarad’s memory, but also; I know that he would never speak to you about-” he broke off. Damn. This should have been easier. 

[ask-erestor]

“You love another..” Erestor repeated, thoughtfully. Elladan was obviously speaking of his feelings for Lindir…or perhaps it was another. Either way, the advisor didn’t rightly know what to offer the younger elf. “Elladan,” he began. “Please look at me.” Erestor added, tilting Elladan’s chin upwards once more. “You are not traitorous, nor are you guilty. Do you understand? Halbarad would have wanted you to be happy, would he not? His time has come to pass and, as much as it may pain us,” he paused for a short moment, noticing the sheer pain in Elladan’s eyes. “we must accept it.”

[ask-elladan-blog]

His breath caught and he looked reluctantly at Erestor. “You don’t think- you don’t think that it’s shameful?” This time he forcefully turned away from the other elf. He could not stand to look at him any longer, not when it was so difficult to mask the pain he felt at his words. “Aye… I understand,” he muttered waveringly. “I… Erestor… I don’t know how he feels about it. He does not seek your guidance the way I do, and yet I know that he feels torn as well.”

[ask-erestor]

Erestor nodded, listening closely to Elladan’s desperate words. He didn’t bother asking the younger elf to look at him again, seeing that he was currently burdened with a great pain. “Elladan, you need not speak his name for it is not my place to ask of it but one can only assume that this is someone you have known for some time now, that this being lives here in Imladris. I do have my suspicions for who it is but I won’t jump to any conclusions.” he announced, picking up a pot of sweet herbal tea and pouring it. He offered some to Elladan and took a sip from his own cup. “Anírog haw? Drink - it helps.”

It was a beautiful day in Rivendell - much like any other but somewhat brighter and cheerier. The sounds of elflings playing amidst the courtyards echoed in a burst of laughter. The skies had seemed empty ever since Elladan took to locking himself away in silence for days on end but now all seemed at peace one more and the universal balance lived on. After a moment of admiration, Erestor turned his attention back to the younger elf.  “If you know that he feels the same way you do - torn and lost - then you should talk to him about it. Otherwise, both of you will be locked in this situation for eternity. It’s the only logical thing to do, Elladan. I know it takes a lot of courage but you do have strength inside of you, whether you believe it or not.”

[ask-elladan-blog]

He pressed his lips together, wincing softly. He didn't doubt that Erestor had his suspicions. And he wagered that Erestor's suspicions were correct; they tended to be. "Aye. Thand. I've known him for quite some time. Ni 'lassui, Erestor. For not pressuring me for a name. You must be curious." He did not know how people would react to this development of things... he hardly knew himself. Nevertheless, Elladan grateful accepted the tea and then promptly scalded his tongue. Grimacing slightly, he took a less hasty sip of the boiling hot brew. Hmph. Patience was key.

And it was true. He did feel better. At least he had for a couple of weeks; until his ever-reliable conscience caught up with him. He knew that he felt better as well. It might not have been quite as obvious because he was less prone to outbursts of the emotional kind, but Elladan knew better than most that he'd been suffering as well. He sighed at Erestor's words. They bore nothing but trouble. They were the truth, of course. And he expected nothing else of the unfairly perceptive mentor... but still. He frowned and then took another slow drink of the tea before glancing warily at Erestor. "Ai... iston. I know that I should. Except that he is not one for talking about these things and I am too emotional for my own good. We've been carefully avoiding the subject at hand for weeks now." He flushed, remembering that Erestor did not know for just how long this had been going on. Well, now he did.

[ask-erestor]

ask-elladan asked you:

Û! Alas… not really. Maybe… Ú-iston. Perhaps?

Come, tell me. Man te, Elladan? Av-‘osto. You need not hide from me - surely you know that by now.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Nay,

[ask-elladan-blog]

He could not very well think of any legitimate reason to put this off. He had come, seeking advice and now the only thing stopping him was his raging conscience. He knew as well that he could leave, that he did not have to say anything, and that Erestor would refrain from judging him harshly for that. The advisor wasn’t demanding of him to say anything… Elladan reluctantly looked away from Erestor and into the valley of Imladris. He wrung his hands in frustration for a while and then, finally, took a deep breath. “I love another,” he began. “I feel- I feel as if I am betraying Halbarad’s memory, but also; I know that he would never speak to you about-” he broke off. Damn. This should have been easier. 

[ask-erestor]

“You love another..” Erestor repeated, thoughtfully. Elladan was obviously speaking of his feelings for Lindir…or perhaps it was another. Either way, the advisor didn’t rightly know what to offer the younger elf. “Elladan,” he began. “Please look at me.” Erestor added, tilting Elladan’s chin upwards once more. “You are not traitorous, nor are you guilty. Do you understand? Halbarad would have wanted you to be happy, would he not? His time has come to pass and, as much as it may pain us,” he paused for a short moment, noticing the sheer pain in Elladan’s eyes. “we must accept it.”

[ask-elladan-blog]

His breath caught and he looked reluctantly at Erestor. "You don't think- you don't think that it's shameful?" This time he forcefully turned away from the other elf. He could not stand to look at him any longer, not when it was so difficult to mask the pain he felt at his words. "Aye... I understand," he muttered waveringly. "I... Erestor... I don't know how he feels about it. He does not seek your guidance the way I do, and yet I know that he feels torn as well."

[ask-erestor]

ask-elladan asked you:

Û! Alas… not really. Maybe… Ú-iston. Perhaps?

Come, tell me. Man te, Elladan? Av-‘osto. You need not hide from me - surely you know that by now.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Nay,

[ask-elladan-blog]

He could not very well think of any legitimate reason to put this off. He had come, seeking advice and now the only thing stopping him was his raging conscience. He knew as well that he could leave, that he did not have to say anything, and that Erestor would refrain from judging him harshly for that. The advisor wasn't demanding of him to say anything... Elladan reluctantly looked away from Erestor and into the valley of Imladris. He wrung his hands in frustration for a while and then, finally, took a deep breath. "I love another," he began. "I feel- I feel as if I am betraying Halbarad's memory, but also; I know that he would never speak to you about-" he broke off. Damn. This should have been easier. 

[ask-erestor]

ask-elladan asked you:

Û! Alas… not really. Maybe… Ú-iston. Perhaps?

Come, tell me. Man te, Elladan? Av-‘osto. You need not hide from me - surely you know that by now.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Nay, nin ú-cheniog. I am not afraid! *groans* Erestor, aye, iston! Iston. I just do not know where to begin.

[ask-erestor]

If you are not afraid then why do you have trouble speaking your mind? Díheno nin, Elladan, but you obviously wish to tell me something, yes? You would not be here if you didn’t *shrugs*. But you shouldn’t suggest that I do not understand when I might; not knowing what you are trying to convey merely disadvantages me with the lack of foreknowledge but you should try me, as they say - there is always a chance that I do understand. If I may, the beginning is usually a good place to start. I’m not going to pressure you for I know it doesn’t bring any good - I learned that lesson the last time we spoke properly - but know that my loyalties lie with you and that I am here for you.

[ask-elladan-blog]

“Ai! I said Iston! I know, Erestor! You have said it many times before and I haven’t forgotten. I do not question your loyalties and it is not that I don’t trust you. Just- ugh!” With an obvious disregard to elvish decorum, Elladan huffed and sniffed, taking a couple hasty steps away from the mentor and finally sitting down on a nearby stone bench. With a pout that he had perfected already as an elfling, he drew up one of his legs, leaning his elbows onto it and glaring at Erestor with a contempt that he did not feel at all. Finally, he let out a frustrated sigh. “Aye, Erestor… you speak the truth, as always. I - I came because I need to trust someone. Hen aníron. I do. But…” he groaned. “I feel like I would be doing another injustice. So I cannot say.”

[ask-erestor]

Erestor folded his arms and sighed in thought. Elladan had always been the troubled child of the two, the child with heightened emotions and an uncontrollable conscience. It was saddening to see the young elf lost and desperate for guidance. “You know,” Erestor began calmly, walking towards the bench and taking a seat next to Elladan. “you remind me of myself when I was your age. As an elfling I was shy and withdrawn, yes, but I developed a certain fury. I was lost in that fury and it probably would have consumed me if it wasn’t for the control I gained through my own teachings.” He turned to face Elladan, fondly examining his expressions. “What I am trying to say is that you over-analyse situations. It is not a bad thing - of course not - but it frustrates you to a great extent; I can see it in your eyes. You hide your burdens in the fear that it will burden others, in the fear that said burden makes you abnormal or wrong. But life isn’t about being constantly right or constantly ‘normal’; we share the same genetic makeup, yes, but our general differences of personality teach us, as do the mistakes we may make in life.” Erestor placed a comforting hand on Elladan’s shoulder. “You need not worry about what other people think for it is you who you should be concerning yourself with. You matter. I am not here to judge you, Elladan. You claim that speaking your mind to me serves as an act of injustice but I don’t think that is the case.”

[ask-elladan-blog]

Elladan frowned, deep in thought and trying to subdue the battle waging inside his mind. On one hand, he truly wanted to tell Erestor, knowing that the mentor would help ease his conscience and give some wise words of advice. On the other hand... he felt that he owed it to him not to say anything. While a pact of silence certainly was not involved, he felt that he could not breach his confidence so. He snorted derisively. "I don't imagine you having troubles like this. You probably always knew the smart thing to do." He sighed. "I cannot control my emotions. Not like you... or Ada... or 'Ro. It is shameful. No doubt, Adar wishes I could mask my feelings more effectively." He shook his head slowly. "Nay... but that is what I am trying to tell you. I am abnormal. No, not I. But what I did was. Don't... do not try and disagree with me! What I - um... it's not right. You would judge me if you knew, Erestor, and I could not even blame you for it." He groaned into his hands, wishing he could somehow disappear. "I wish I had not said anything."

[ask-erestor]

ask-elladan asked you:

Û! Alas… not really. Maybe… Ú-iston. Perhaps?

Come, tell me. Man te, Elladan? Av-‘osto. You need not hide from me - surely you know that by now.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Nay, nin ú-cheniog. I am not afraid! *groans* Erestor, aye, iston! Iston. I just do not know where to begin.

[ask-erestor]

If you are not afraid then why do you have trouble speaking your mind? Díheno nin, Elladan, but you obviously wish to tell me something, yes? You would not be here if you didn’t *shrugs*. But you shouldn’t suggest that I do not understand when I might; not knowing what you are trying to convey merely disadvantages me with the lack of foreknowledge but you should try me, as they say - there is always a chance that I do understand. If I may, the beginning is usually a good place to start. I’m not going to pressure you for I know it doesn’t bring any good - I learned that lesson the last time we spoke properly - but know that my loyalties lie with you and that I am here for you.

[ask-elladan-blog]

"Ai! I said Iston! I know, Erestor! You have said it many times before and I haven't forgotten. I do not question your loyalties and it is not that I don't trust you. Just- ugh!" With an obvious disregard to elvish decorum, Elladan huffed and sniffed, taking a couple hasty steps away from the mentor and finally sitting down on a nearby stone bench. With a pout that he had perfected already as an elfling, he drew up one of his legs, leaning his elbows onto it and glaring at Erestor with a contempt that he did not feel at all. Finally, he let out a frustrated sigh. "Aye, Erestor... you speak the truth, as always. I - I came because I need to trust someone. Hen aníron. I do. But..." he groaned. "I feel like I would be doing another injustice. So I cannot say."

[ask-erestor]

ask-elladan asked you:

Û! Alas… not really. Maybe… Ú-iston. Perhaps?

Come, tell me. Man te, Elladan? Av-‘osto. You need not hide from me - surely you know that by now.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Nay, nin ú-cheniog. I am not afraid! *groans* Erestor, aye, iston! Iston. I just do not know where to begin.

[ask-elladan-blog]

You give us too little credit, Erestor!

I recall opening a book last night.

[ask-erestor]

Well, I congratulate you on such hard work. *laughs*

You are well, yes? I have missed your company.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Alas, ‘twas tedious work. I would have gotten a bit further were the book less boring and ‘Ro less distracting. Aye, Erestor. I am well… and I am not just saying this so that your mind rests easy. I really am feeling much better. It is good to be back.

[ask-erestor]

Mm, indeed.

Glad to hear it, child! I believe you, Elladan, you don’t have to prove yourself to me. Might I expect your company any time soon? I desire it as much as i miss it.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Indeed... what - mellonamin?

I think you may. Goheno nin, Erestor, for I haven't sought you out since we last parted.

[tolkien-inspired-art]

“Tuor, his wife Idril and son Earendil after the fall of Gondolin.”

family by ~liga-marta

[ask-elladan-blog]

You give us too little credit, Erestor!

I recall opening a book last night.

[ask-erestor]

Well, I congratulate you on such hard work. *laughs*

You are well, yes? I have missed your company.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Alas, 'twas tedious work. I would have gotten a bit further were the book less boring and 'Ro less distracting. Aye, Erestor. I am well... and I am not just saying this so that your mind rests easy. I really am feeling much better. It is good to be back.

[ask-elladan-blog]

You give us too little credit, Erestor!

I recall opening a book last night.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Why arent you with Lindir and why are you never on tumblr?

Ai! I know that I have been absent lately. I was taking a break and spending time with... someone...

... and that is none of your concern. I will try and 'come online' more often.

[ask-elladan-blog]

As a fellow Tolkien Aficionado, I just wanted to share some Middle-Earth love. Love your blog <3

<3 Hannon le.

[alan-and-john]

[ask-elladan-blog]

Nay, of course I do not mind! I would welcome the chance! Perhaps I can even persuade 'Ro to quit sulking, so you could meet him, too.

[ask-elladan-blog]

That is the spirit, mellon nin!

I sense no sign of Erestor at present. I would like for my insufferable troll of a brother to join in on our drinking. No doubt, Imladris has grown silent as of late. I could use a bit of cheering up; and if that entails raiding my ada's wine cellar, so be it.

[ask-elladan-blog]

Would anyone care to join me for a drink?