Got called a bad hero in greggs today lads

It was in Greggs

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Your team has lost the objective

This is so sad lucio play Despacito

[ask-greggs-tracer]

How to play Brigitte

-Wildly spin in circles trying to hit the dps with your flail

-try to throw your health pack at the person low on healing but someone runs in front of you and you hit them instead

- yell because Pharah/Genji/Reaper etc set off their ultimate without letting you shield them first and they instantly died

-smirk and put your shield up whenever a Meka self destructs

- realise nobody else got behind the shield so you're the only one alive

-hit snipers with your flail from a distance so they run away and then get headshot a minute later because you didn't kill them

-hear 5 people yell they need healing and have to decide who is worth saving

-see an enemy brigitte and just slam shields together till one of them breaks

[ask-greggs-tracer]

“Hey there’s no healer” “Be a healer instead of D.Va then” “….okay”

“Guys we need a tank”

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Oh my god we found a solution

[ask-greggs-tracer]

The true comic plot twist: Torbjorn has had sex not once but multiple times

[ask-greggs-tracer]

i cant believe he fucking retconned my post 

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Look i know i get excited whenever zarya gets a new skin

But holy fuck Zaryas new skin

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Patch Notes

D.VA-    Self Destruct now disabled.

  New Ultimate: Summon Mech      Defense Matrix cooldown increased to 7 minutes

   Defense Matrix size decreased by 90%

Developer’s Comments: 

Self Destruct always seemed too overpowered in the game as it could kill multiple enemies so we’ve removed it. We also felt like Dva being able to regain her suit was unfair to the people who took so long destroying it, so now when she loses her Meka it’s gone until her ult is fully charged. Her Defense Matrix has been decreased as sometimes she flew at Mccree during his ult and it mitigated his kills which felt unfair to mccree players.   

[ask-greggs-tracer]

So many people trying to give me advice on how to play moira on that post like.... I wrote that the day she came out and we were all running round screaming

Also don't you dare give me tips on how to play this game I have a right to be a shitty player

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Blizzard you cowards. Give Doomfist and Moira ice skins so we can have a Christmas Talon squad

[ask-greggs-tracer]

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Honestly I don’t think any event skin can top Nutyatta Like the Lunar New Year ones are good but i literally couldnt breathe after seeing his Christmas skin cause I found it so funny

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Hey blizzard you gotta top this in the new update. I believe in you

[ask-greggs-tracer]

how to play Moira

- get so distracted doing damage that you forget to heal

-heal so much you run out and cant heal the genji thats yelling at you 

- send out the wrong orb and pretend you totally meant to do that

- use fade to nope out of any close range weapons #getfuckedsymmetra

-run into a fight by mistake and rapidly spam damage and heal hoping something hits someone

- see the enemy moira use her ult and set yours off so you can have an epic anime finale showdown

- try not to think about the memes about her yellow energy 

[aniki-kamina]

-Fail at the last one and laugh and talk about pissing on your teammates

[theepicyus]

Don the piss robe

[gabrielreyesofsunshine]

Florida Mayhem skins or disgruntled McDonalds worker au

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Anyway Moira designed her orbs because Widowmaker refused to come to the ledge for healing so she just started throwing them at her head 

[ask-greggs-tracer]

how to play Moira

- get so distracted doing damage that you forget to heal

-heal so much you run out and cant heal the genji thats yelling at you 

- send out the wrong orb and pretend you totally meant to do that

- use fade to nope out of any close range weapons #getfuckedsymmetra

-run into a fight by mistake and rapidly spam damage and heal hoping something hits someone

- see the enemy moira use her ult and set yours off so you can have an epic anime finale showdown

- try not to think about the memes about her yellow energy 

[ask-greggs-tracer]

Brigitte

She is here

[ask-greggs-tracer]

I’m deleting this fucking blog

Tracer is gay. She probably doesn’t even like sausage rolls. I will do everyone a favor and gtfo

[ask-whataburger-young-mccree]

// remember that really dumb hate ask that @ask-ihop-hanzo got a while back

// I want that to be a Retailwatch copy pasta

[ask-greggs-tracer]

(for reference)