life's grand parade

Baltimore's Only Psychedelic Cowboy Blog 

[lifesgrandparade]

Lifesgrandparade theme song

[lifesgrandparade]

OK, CORRECTION. The Assistant Bond Villain, Necros, was holding on to BONDS boot. And Bond cut his own shoestrings, causing the boot and Necros to fall screaming. He is holding onto the boot as he takes the Hard Way to Kabul. I was mistaken, it's actually a work of inspired genius.

[lifesgrandparade]

"He got the boot" was also added in post production, is something else I'm finding. I bet all Timothy's shakespearean ass had to be forced at gunpoint to say it.

[lifesgrandparade]

OK, CORRECTION. The Assistant Bond Villain, Necros, was holding on to BONDS boot. And Bond cut his own shoestrings, causing the boot and Necros to fall screaming. He is holding onto the boot as he takes the Hard Way to Kabul. I was mistaken, it's actually a work of inspired genius.

[oldshowbiz]

ok

[lifesgrandparade]

Billy Zane... Good actor or...

[lifesgrandparade]

@yeahiwasintheshit I'd think he'd make a fine Kojack, or at least fine enough for two seasons. "Who loves you baby... you guessed it, Billy Zane" *puts lollipop in mouth.*

I think I always considered BZ kind of bad, but I'm not sure. He is in a LOT of good movies? Titanic, orlando, the previously mentioned Dead Calm. And you know what? I liked that The Phantom movie. Underrated pulp comic book movie. Watch that on a double bill with The Shadow. But man he just looks so sleepy in all of those movies. It's wild. I think I'd need to see him personally deliver 5 Sonnets from memory before I could say if he can be in my fucking hollywood blockbuster film.

Now Lisa Zane, his older sister? Five Words. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare.

[lifesgrandparade]

I assure you, nobody laughed harder in the movie theater than I when Zoolander said "Stay out of this Billy Zane!"

[lifesgrandparade]

Billy Zane... Good actor or...

[lifesgrandparade]

@yeahiwasintheshit I'd think he'd make a fine Kojack, or at least fine enough for two seasons. "Who loves you baby... you guessed it, Billy Zane" *puts lollipop in mouth.*

I think I always considered BZ kind of bad, but I'm not sure. He is in a LOT of good movies? Titanic, orlando, the previously mentioned Dead Calm. And you know what? I liked that The Phantom movie. Underrated pulp comic book movie. Watch that on a double bill with The Shadow. But man he just looks so sleepy in all of those movies. It's wild. I think I'd need to see him personally deliver 5 Sonnets from memory before I could say if he can be in my fucking hollywood blockbuster film.

Now Lisa Zane, his older sister? Five Words. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare.

[lifesgrandparade]

@stenka-razin I love the Living Daylights! It's just a bunch of things happening until you meet the ultimate bond villain... Joe Don Baker! Joe Don Baker and his army of toys. I love the Shady Russian double agent. First time you see that guy you're like "Just kill em right now JB save yourself some trouble." Also Bond helping our brave Mujahadeen fighters. Rambo gets shit for that, meanwhile 007 gets away with it because most people don't like the Living Daylights enough to get to that part.

Timothy Dalton was a good bond. He got motherfucked by timing. I've said this before, but Dalton walked so Craig could run.

The Living Daylights, besides having an incredible Cold Open, an incredible Debut Cold Open, also has one of my favorite Bond Post Mortem lines. Assistant bad guy is hanging out of an airplane by his shoestrings. Bond takes out a knife and like... casually cuts the guys shoestrings while dude man begs for his life. Guy falls to his death. Bond gets back to the cockpit, and Maryam D'Abo asks him, "what happened to that dude?" And Bond says "HE GOT THE BOOT."

It's so blunt and stupid I'm in awe! Like... it doesn't even make sense. He didn't get the boot! His foot fell off, and he fell to his death shoeless! I wish he like took a second to acknowledge that it doesn't make sense and then got back to deactivating the bomb. Like "not my best work, look we got 48 seconds."

[lifesgrandparade]

Billy Zane... Good actor or...

[visenyaism]

hotd is what happens when your favorite books are feastdance but those books got adapted by clowns so you accept technically adapting the history book so you can spiritually adapt feast dance because your eyes glaze over every time you read the textbook. i say this neutrally and without judgment and even with appreciation

grafting the themes of feastdance onto fire and blood to create frankenstein's show is genuinely inspired i will always admire them for sweinging for the fences so hard

[konoko]

[lifesgrandparade]

Such a great poster too. Should I get this framed? I've been thinking of becoming a guy with framed movie posters in their place, but I don't want to do the ones everybody does. I'm not like other guys. Could tie the whole room together.

[lifesgrandparade]

@kibblesandbitch OK, agree with this, but..... And I stress this, it's not a recommendation per se. I haven't seen it in a Loooooooooong time. I think Dead Calm was a good maybe great movie? Dead Calm i think was the first Sam Neill movie I watched after Jurassic Park. It was either Dead Calm or The Piano (I've told my The Piano story before, but i'll do it again for shits and giggles in another post. It's subheading is "The only time my mom won a 90's radio contest.") either way, you're getting a different look at Dr. Alan Grant. It was definitely my first Nicole Kidman movie, and I remember thinking "Who is this and why isn't she in more movies?" I think she was in a decent amount of movies at the time, I was just 13. Maybe 14.

Definitely my first Billy Zane movie. One never forgets their first time with Billy Zane amirite?

Anyway I"m going to hold off on giving it the full LGP recommendation. It's an absurdly fucked up psycho-sexual thriller, which is RIGHT up my alley but your mileage might vary. It's also on a boat in the middle of the ocean. No where to go when you got a psychopath on board. Might not be something to put on if you're feeling vulnerable or unsafe. That's more of a "In the Mouth of Madness Vibe." I'll let you know because I think one night of catsitting is going to be an "Impromptu Sam Neill memorial movie marathon." Maybe a couple nights.

[lifesgrandparade]

With Laura Dern, you might think I'm talking about her collaborations with David Lynch but noooooo, noooooo noooooo, didn't see Wild at Heart or Blue Velvet till much later. No, I'm talking about Rambling Rose. Holy shit, when I'm saying "ehhhhh a 13 year old shouldn't see this" you KNOW that things taking you down some dark roads.

[lifesgrandparade]

One last thing about Sam Neill. There is probably no actor who exposed me to films I was WAAAAAAY to young for than Sam Neill. After Jurassic Park I said "let's see what other films this guy did" and next thing you know you're watching Dead Calm, In the Mouth of Madness and Possession before you hit the active stage of puberty. This is something I should announce on First dates. It's important to be open when building a relationship.

[lifesgrandparade]

Actually, he wasn't the only one in Jurassic Park that lead me down that road *Looks in Laura Dern's direction while she turns away and whistles.*

[nonbinarypussy]

[lifesgrandparade]

One last thing about Sam Neill. There is probably no actor who exposed me to films I was WAAAAAAY to young for than Sam Neill. After Jurassic Park I said "let's see what other films this guy did" and next thing you know you're watching Dead Calm, In the Mouth of Madness and Possession before you hit the active stage of puberty. This is something I should announce on First dates. It's important to be open when building a relationship.

[lifesgrandparade]

@kibblesandbitch I kinda think he was throwing the game a little bit? Like "OK let me just say it and do this thing and get the fuck out of here," which unfortunately gives him the sort of quiet confidence you want for a colonial assassin. Like you could almost imagine someone at Pinewood going "Brilliant. I love it. Let's get you signed up for four long, physically exhausting movies." And then Sam Neill would've cried before God and everyone. To which the producers would've said "Oh good, he's got RANGE too. Make that 5 movies."

Just to set the scene, like... this was after Roger Moore retired. It was an extremely dark period for the series, and they didn't have any idea where it was going. They wanted Pierce Brosnan and the role was his, but Pierce was doing Remington Steele so there wasn't a guarantee he'd be available (NBC fucking SCREWED Pierce Brosnan in such a way I'm surprised he didnt' start a terror campaign against them). So Sam Neill had just as much of a chance as like, Timothy Dalton in my eyes.

The movie he would've made was The Living Daylights. I like the Living Daylights, but it makes no goddamn sense, is sort of all over the place, and its extremely weird seeing Dalton playing this hardbitten jaded James Bond in a fucking Roger Moore plot. It wasn't a DISASTER, but it was a rocky start. I don't think Dalton ever fully recovered from TLD and License to Kill, and I say that as a big fan of the movie The Beautician and the Beast starring Fran Drescher. Either Neill's contract would've locked him up, or the financial failure would've most likely prevented him from doing Jurassic Park. At the very least, people would be like "Oh that's the shit James Bond" when Alan Grant is trying to hear a Triceratops heartbeat. Sometimes the road not taken gets us to our destination faster and shit.