I can't even describe to you the new Macguyver, I've only seen an episode, but it's this weird NCIS thing, where there's like a reoccurring cast of work friends and that feels like a weird way of tackling MacGuyver in the modern day. MacGuyver is a show about a dude helping whoever out on his own for the most part, but he's got an entire crew here. It's like that old seinfeld joke about why you need a Justice League when Superman is just there. And it turns it into just another CBS show. How would I tackle a modern day MacGuyver? If you don't play the game you don't lose baby. I'm just here to tell you shit's fucked, not to fix it for you. I think like, MacGuyver was an unusual character in that era of TV, and now like 80% of television is about some sort of savant.
Let me tell you how blah I feel about McGuyver , despite writing up a lot of posts about him. I been spelling that man's name wrong the entire time. It is MAC guyver. His name is Angus MacGuyver. I'll bet there's a WHOLE episode on the Moors or something. THe Moors of Southern California that is.
The only bit of information I retained is that Macca's got an arch rival named Murdock. I think. It's some like... on the nose name for a villain. And at the end, Murdock always gets his ass handed to him, and dies, and as he's dying he yells MCGUUUUUUYYYYVYEEEEER. Like I'll get you next time autobots type shit. But does he really die? Motherfucker would just come back and say "AH HA, MCGUYVER. Rumors of my demise have been quite greatly exaggerated." Murdock is played by Michael Des Barres who has a WILD story I just discovered. Guy replaced Robert Palmer in the band The Power Station? Wow, you can almost hear him saying it. "Some like it hot Mcguyver, but some sweat when the heat is on" before torturing him for information.
Like I don't know why, and bare in mind, this isn't exactly a free time activity. I've seen like, four. One was a two parter where he went to Medieval Times. But I don't know why McGuyver gets himself in these situations? Sometimes it feels like, out of the goodness of his heart? My mom says "They take advantage of him." I don't believe that, guy has a hard on for adventure. But I don't know if he's getting paid for any of this? Which is fine, we should encourage that type of behavior in our day to day, but damn dude open up that patreon and shit.
My mom watches a lot of McGuyver. She just gets into shows man, I don't know. I think she watched that New McGuyver that went nowhere, got to the end of it, and said "you know what, lets go Old School." So I've watched a couple episodes of McGuyver during sunday family dinners when there is no sports on. OK. Can I tell you something that might seem controversial to anybody who should get a colonoscopy every year squad. McGuyver isn't like... very good.
Or its good in like... a way we can't really fuck with in this day and age of prestige TV. Some shows can cross time and space. There are aspects of Star Trek TNG that look super dated now, but it's kind of a universal experience. Excellent storytelling. Shit they were complaining about on Barney Miller is the shit we are complaining about now, except without wifi. You had to deal with a different sort of dumb as shit back then.
McGuyver is like... dated in almost every single way. Like the thing you remember about it is, guy can fix things in a fly. He can make a rocket with chewing tobcco, five paperclips, a belt, but not the part of the belt you would think, and a few strands of hair. That's fun. THe rest of it is like... following a not particularly interesting guys going on globe trotting missions that all feel like they're within 100 miles of Burbank.
It looks SUPER dated. The episode where he gets knocked in the head and goes back to the days of King Arthur and Merlin stands out. I can't remember who plays King Arthur, but he spent bout 40 years playing "TV Dad." Doesn't have the gravitatas of a, I don't know, a Sir Ian McKellan and shit. Everybodys' dressed in renaissance fair shit. I remember this scene, cliffhanger, where McGuyver is literally hanging off of a cliff, over some Magic Lava and shit. I remembered that scene TERRIFIED me as a kid. Now it just looks like a guy laying down in front of a green screen.
I don't know, maybe its because I'm not steeped in McGuyver Lore. Cuz I don't know how the guy gets himself into situations. There's an episode where he meets his son, and I was like "McGuyver had a son?" I've retained almost no McGuyver knowledge. And the show itself is not doing any favors. THey like made 25 of these a year, there's not like strict continuity here. It's just whatever the writers could come up with on the fly I guess.
Like I get why it was "popular" back then. If you wanted this type of adventure back then it was either this or Simon and Simon. It's just so goofy looking now. It's like... a million times better than the fucking new show let me tell you that, Woof.
Is Stoneheart particularly evil by Westeros standards? All the people she has hanged so far are guilty of the Red Wedding, and itâs not like the Westerosi legal system will hold any of them accountable. Jaime is guilty of a lot of crimes. The one truly evil thing she has done so far is threaten to hang Pod and he is technically the enemy being in service to a Lannister. Plus I canât think of anyone more traumatized in Westeros than Stoneheart. So should Stoneheart really be put in the same category as other asoiaf villains like Littlefinger and Cersei?
Unfortunately, I don't think it's correct to say that all the people Lady Stoneheart has hanged are guilty of the Red Wedding.
"Has some ill befallen Ser Ryman?"
"Hanged with all his party," said Walder Rivers. "The outlaws caught them two leagues south of Fairmarket."
Jaime VII, AFFC
A few lines later we're told that Ryman had three knights and a dozen men-at-arms with him. Were they involved in the Red Wedding? We can't be sure. It's likely, but we don't know. Someone could have been on another task, sent to run a message or participate in an escort. Someone could have been a recent recruit, a hedge knight who just wandered in. Someone could have spent that month critically ill with dysentery, it's not like disease is uncommon in an army. We don't know. And neither can Lady Stoneheart.
Cut for length!
Not to mention that the knights and men-at-arms are only the people who were counted. Were there pages or squires in that company? Camp followers? We know that Jaime explicitly told Ryman he could take the sex worker he was with when he dismissed him from the siege. Were there any other types of workers in the company? Did Ryman make off with any of them when he left? There's a whole range of work that needs to be done at an army camp. Smiths, carpenters, cooks, apothecaries (or at least some equivalent of medical care), farriers, bowyers, wheelwrights, coopers, tailors and seamstresses, laundry workers, wagoneers. Is it really okay to hang these people whose crime is making a living off the Freys and Lannisters?
And, of course, Lady Stoneheart hanged Brienne and Hyle. (Pod too.) It's not threatening when they're all in nooses and being lifted off the ground, it's just an unfinished job. Hyle's a jerk, but he's not guilty of the Red Wedding - only of being in Brienne's party, when Brienne is too sympathetic to Jaime for Lady Stoneheart's liking.
I do agree with Lady Stoneheart being one of the most traumatised people in Westeros, though. There is a reason why Brienne's PoV brings us the "broken man" speech and is the first main PoV interacting with Lady Stoneheart. The "broken man" speech is a big piece of context for Catelyn's actions, as Septon Meribald sets out how an ordinary man is yanked away from their life and thrust into a world of uncertainty and violence that the human mind is not equipped to withstand:
"The broken man lives from day to day, from meal to meal, more beast than man. Lady Brienne is not wrong. In times like these, the traveler must beware of broken men, and fear them... but he should pity them as well."
Brienne V, AFFC
It applies to Catelyn as much as it did to any of those common-born people. That happened to Catelyn. She's got plans beyond the next meal, but that break, that disruption of the world, that desperation - yeah. That applies.
I don't put Lady Stoneheart in the same category of villain as Cersei or Littlefinger or Tywin etc etc, and I don't think that's the most helpful way to analyse Lady Stoneheart's actions. The text all but comes out and says plain that Lady Stoneheart is not in that category, Lady Stoneheart is instead the product of trauma and injustice. She's not doing this out of greed or for pride or anything like that; she's a deeply hurt person deeply wronged in life, unlikely to get any justice even in death, and as justified as she is in her rage, it's blinded her too.
So as sympathetic as I am to Lady Stoneheart, as justified as her hatred of the Freys and Lannisters is, as guilty of other serious crimes as Jaime is, I have no hesitation in saying that what she's doing is wrong.
But with that said: it's the indiscriminate nature of what she's doing that I think is wrong. The collateral damage. The insistence on guilt by association. The refusal to hear any defence, from mitigating circumstances to actual innocence.
There's a strong element of what did you expect? when it comes to Frey and Lannister leadership complaining about Lady Stoneheart attacking their people and hanging them. This is a problem they themselves created. It's their greed and pride that's caused this trauma. It's their victims who are lashing out in pain. They are the source of these issues. They are the ones who poked the metaphorical bear. If they'd left well enough alone, Catelyn Stark would be home in Winterfell with her surviving family, not hanging people in the Riverlands.
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