Greetings, Mortals… Have You A Question For Us?

askblog based on Guardian of the Wilds, a BotW fanfic | photo edits by @sarcasticmudkip

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

Welcome!

As the description says, this askblog comes with a twist: it’s a sequel/epilogue to my fic Guardian of the Wilds, which is more or less required reading to understand a few things down the road. That said, 133k words is a lot of homework, so here are the basics:

- Hyrule’s guardians are the spirits in-game: Satori (and Blupees), the dragons, the Great Fairies, the Horse God, and the Deku Tree (and Koroks). Fi is here too. Link is also a spirit in this au, and Zelda is part of this blog as well! Questions can go towards those characters by default, though sometimes there will be guest appearances

- In this au, Rhoam was ousted from the throne for various reasons (read the fic to find out 😏). He’s still around, just not the regent, and Zelda is gearing up to become queen

- IMPORTANTLY, there might be some discussion of trauma. I’ll warn if/when it pops up, but things sure did happen to these characters

That’s it for plot! You don’t necessarily even need to know this to interact with the canon spirits, either, so don’t be afraid to treat them like it’s not even an au ^-^

Tag system under the cut!

#pan speaks: when it’s me talking, not any of the characters. Posts like these are rare

#queries: ask tag

#blue flame input: when spirits (or Zelda) are using spirit-talk to answer queries. Because the Slate mistakes all spirit magic for blue flame energy, it’s labeled as such

#recorded input: the regular audio recording function on the Slate

#Designation tags: character titles! All spirits are “spirit of [x]” plus their names, with the exception of Zelda, who does not have a domain which the Slate can categorize. Yet...

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

I'm sending y'all some plushies and you can't stop me

I don’t think the Koroks will be letting go of these anytime soon, but thank you regardless!

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

...I think I’ll give the Slate back. I need to stay with Satori for a little bit. This was... fun.

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

scared of... fi?

I said I'm not scared of Fi!

Her blade is just... sharp. Pretty unforgiving. I feel bad for anything that gets skewered on it.

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

Could you let a doggy for me?

There’s no dogs where I hid from the others, but I will as soon as I can.

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

Let's talk about your issues, link.

What issues? I don’t have any. Satori was mistaken.

Besides, I got my grief over and done with in Hyrule Castle. So what if that’s not how it works for mortals? That’s how it works for me. My fear of tight spaces is normal. I’m not even that scared of Fi. I can be near Hyrule Castle without a bad reaction most of the time.

I’m fine.

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

Who's link from the zonai

...

The hero before Zelda. He was the last warrior of his people, I think. A childhood friend of the princess of the time. He led the four pilots of the Sheikah-made war machines.

He taught me sign language. I was his guide.

He died relatively young.

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

What was the noodle incident? The one in which you turned into a noodle

This I can talk about! Impa was giving a class to some younger Sheikah on the various parts of Hylian bodies (and how to incapacitate them) and I was bored, so I helped spar to demonstrate takedowns. Apparently you need to have a kidney for some of those moves to work on you. Plus whatever a “solar plexus” is. Long story short, Impa got irritated and asked if I was deliberately getting rid of body parts to spite her. I said no. To prove it, I got rid of the bones in my arm to show that she’d notice the magic feedback if I did.

Impa didn’t like that very much. The kids thought it was funny!

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

?????????????????

I have questions too, buddy

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

THATS WHERE MY SPARE STOMACH ACID WENT-

I... did not steal... your stomach acid... what the hell? I was under the impression mortals don't just delete body parts like that!

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

Excuse me where did you get the stomach acid from

Wouldn't you like to know, anonymous?

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

is there a patron deity of The Gays

In some circles, the fact that my gender is fluid is taken as patronage of anyone who breaks those barriers. I don't think it's a proper part of my domain yet, but maybe someday...?

Aside from that, no one I know. Mortals like that are doing just fine on their own.

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

I'm sending you so much soup rn. Feast yourself

Soup soul, you're back! I appreciate it. Turns out I needed stomach acid after all, but I have that now, so at least I can digest it this time.

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

This is boring. But I can’t just go back now, or Zelda won’t have cooled off yet. I can’t talk to the others, or they’ll tell me to put the Slate back.

I could talk to you guys, though... how about it? All the juicy details I keep getting censored for.

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

:3

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

if link became mortal again for a day would you trust him with the sheikah slate

“Again”? Link was never mortal in the first place. That said, I would never under any circumstances trust him not to do something mischievous with it. 

Hey!

I trust you with my life, Link, not with non-vital responsibilities.

Understandable. Just for that, though-

HEY!

[ask-hyrules-guardians]

gang with the sheikah slate what crimes will they commit

I carry the Slate with me at all times. There’s no way anyone could get it away from me to do crimes--no, not even Robbie and Purah, even they ask first.

Hypothetically, the crimes would definitely involve disturbing the peace.