Hi, Lammily! I'm your biggest fan--I hope someday I can be as average as you! Can I ask where you get your amazing polos? I want one in every color! Well, not the really bright colors like orange or yellow or hot pink, of course. And definitely not black, that's too depressing. Actually maybe just one in a nice sky-blue. I don't know--is that average enough?
I get my polos at The Gap. Sometimes I shop at L.L. Bean or Land's End. I like Land's End because like 99% of their stuff is a shade of beige, so it goes with everything.
Black is OK if you only wear it like once or twice a month and make sure to wear it with a lighter color. Otherwise, yeah, you may as well start listening to Depeche Mode and wearing black eyeliner!
I saw a lady at Chico's once in a bright orange polo, and it was unbuttoned, like, all the way to her collarbone, and she had this giant nametag with a smiley face on the pocket, and it was just.. ugh. Like.. just forcing everyone to stare at her and notice her cleavage. Really inappropriate behavior for a nice upscale store like that, if you ask me. I mentioned it politely to the manager, but he didn't seem to think anything was wrong.
Anyhow, sky blue is nice. Steel grey or a soft pink would be fine, too. I own five in each color. I own an orange one, but I only wore it once to a family barbecue, and it caused quite a commotion among my family members, so I retired it. I'm saving it now for the next time my co-worker Abby throws one of her "wacky" office parties. Maybe I'll wear that pink knit hat my mom bought me last winter, too! She'd think it was so hilarious!
Oh oh oh -- one last thing -- it is so nice and so admirable that you, too, want to be average. Here's my advice to you: Never try too hard. Just do your best to blend in, and try to stay on top of current fads! Don't beat yourself up if you fall behind or miss a step -- just hope nobody notices and keep going. You'll be accepted instantly wherever you go!
Of course, the above only applies if you're white, young, straight, cisgender, neurotypical, not disabled, American, and living above poverty. Otherwise you have like no hope of ever being a decent acceptable person. But that doesn't mean you should stop trying! XD
