ASK PERVY-DADSTER

NSFW. 18+ only due to mature content. . G̩̰̯̼L̥̜̱̪Ị̀T̟̻̫̤ͅC͍̮͓̻̫͢H̳̹͓̘̖͙E̢̺͙̰̪̘S̶̬̼̮̭͈̱ ͝G̲̹͈̬̰E̗͉͝T̕ ̗͕B̳͓̦̭͔́ͅI̛͎T̹C͉͖̣̯̱̯H̶̱̻̙̲̺E̡̖̰͚̩̲͖S̠͖̲͕̞̹,̭͕͔ ̲́S̶̻ÒN

[ask-pervy-dadster]

Why do you love or like cats

I really admire their grace, their subtlety, and their spiky cocks.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

DEAR DADDY. I HAVE A VERY CUTE PUSSYCAT BUT LATELY SHE'S BEEN SO NAUGHTY... HOW CAN I PUNISH HER :3 ? seriously. the little shit has been tearing up my carpets and putting holes in my drapes. please help.

Have you considered giving your pussycat an approved alternative to soft furnishings to scratch? Cats predominantly scratch furniture to scent-mark their surroundings (as well as aid in claw maintenance) which can be frustrating for owners. If you provide it with a scratching post and encourage your pussycat to use that, it will provide a much more satisfying experience (these things are often created with the comfort of the animal in mind), and will save your furniture.

Don’t punish her. Get her an alternative then give me a call so I can punish you for being a dumbass. Seriously, don’t you know how to use Google?

[ask-pervy-dadster]

If someone jerks it to you does that make them a Gasterbator?

Yes. It also means they have excellent taste.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

On the subject of gardening, have I already told the joke about casual sex with plants? It's called being fronds with benefits.

… Have you met my son? He’d eat you out like a hungry boar on a truffle hunt if you said that to him.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

So I mowed the lawn. Now what? Pruning bushes?

Now we do anal. Obviously.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

Is your goop easy to clean? Does it stain easily?

I would recommend an acidic cleaner. Lemon juice will do in a pinch and leave my residue smelling citrus-fresh.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

Can humans be inpregnated by monsters???

Shall we perform an experiment?

[ask-pervy-dadster]

Daddy, I'm wondering if, from the recent posts you've made, if you've recently joined the master gardener association?

Oh goodness me, no. I’m not part of that elitist organisation.

I have founded the Masturbating Gardener Association. So far I’m the only member.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

my fav is the Doc Johnson American Bombshell - B-10 Warhead version. whats yours daddy

Super Victor

[ask-pervy-dadster]

Hey Daddy. I took my newest and largest dildo while thinking of you. I came so fast. Thanks for being such a great inspiration (●˙꒳˙●)

Was it this by any chance?

Excellent practice for a night in with me ;) Try doubling-up next time for a more authentic Dadster experience.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

I'm just a fluffy blob. How do I sex?

I could use you as a cum rag? Some people like that.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

What's wrong with jogging?

Jogging is for fucking losers

[ask-pervy-dadster]

Leg so hot. Hot hot leg. Leg so hot just fuck me already

Why are your legs on fire? You should probably do something about that.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

Tell me a story Daddy, please?

Once upon a time there was a little teddy bear called Reginald. He didn’t like his name and he was very happy that everyone called him Pussy Destroyer the Eternal Fuckenator.

The End.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

I wanna be in a polyamous relationship with Sans and Papyrus.

Good! It’s about time Sans stopped jerking off into his dirty laundry.

Papyrus could do with a good seeing to. It might stop him going for so many jogs.

[ask-pervy-dadster]

you can do sex with riverperson?????

True story: once they punted the boat into my rectal cavity

[ask-pervy-dadster]

How to untie noodle?

The trick here to to not tug from one or both ends otherwise you will tighten the knot.

The best way to approach untangling is to hold firmly but with a loose wrist in the middle and shake. The knots should undo themselves.