"Hey Susan! :3" - @ask-clementine-schuyler
"Hey Clem." *she gives a monotone expression* "need smth?"
*Happily skipping around Susan, because girl does not have a single braincell* "Well, I just wanted to talk to you! Is it such a crime for two girls to be friends?" *She dramatically puts a hand onto her chest and sighs, knowing it pisses Susan off.*
"Some people may even say a very, veeery close relationship between two girls can be quite beautiful-"
*glare* "tone it down. You're too loud."
"SOOORRRYYYYY." *Shuts up* "Well anyways, how was your day?"
"Fine. Punched a guy." she looks into the distance.
"You did what." *Clementine takes a few steps back.* "I just spent my day spreading rumours about people I don't like. That's a normal thing!"
"That's a normal thing for YOU. Punching people is a normal thing for me āļø"
"Well, uhm-"
"You punch people on the regular, Susan, that's a bit...immoral, if you ask me." *And Clem is trying to hide the fact she's gonna burst out w/ laughter any second now.*
"The bitch started it"
*Gasp* "Oh my God. Tell me everything." *She takes out her notepad to write down any gossip that could possibly be used for future references. (It's just nice to have that on hand)*
*Shrug* "just the usual. Called my mom a slut whore"
*Clementine nods.* "Okay, they so deserved it then. If you need anybody to help you with anything, I could ruin their reputation? If you haven't done that yet." *This whole time, she's looking at Susan with this face :3*
"I have acquired a sidekick"
"Oh, yay!" *She twirls her hair between her fingertips.*
"Okay. Guy's name is "Bob Parker". Dumbass name, just like him. I mean, BOB- anyway, got any dirt on 'em?"
"Oh my God, his name is Bob?" *Begins laughing hysterically, and collects herself after a few minutes.* "Actually, he cheats on his girlfriend with her cousin. Her male cousin."
"Omg he's just like Alexander (except for the male part bcz John's not Elizas cousin). Eliza is mom's cousin. Tell me more."
"Uhmm..." *She takes a deep breath.* "Oh well, he also failed SAT Prep and is only still in Calculus because he bribed the teacher :3"
"Hehe. Perfect. Now, you run the gossip column in the school newspaper, right?"
"Of course I do!" *Clementine continues to twirl her curls around her fingers while grinning in a charming way.*
"Perfectttttttt" *evil Disney villain smile*
"I second that!" *also does the smileā¢ļø*
*High five*
"Yass." *Also highfives her.*
*Timeskip bcz I can*
[In the English class room after school, writing this week's column] "Andddddddā¦done! Mwahahahahahah, he will perish >:)"
*Clementine looks over.* "Next, we should break into his house and make him a drink consisting of drain cleaner." (Well somebody watched too much teenage drama movies)
"Uhm, I'm all for revenge, but I'm strictly only all for LEGAL revenge."
"Oh. :(" *Dramatic sigh* "Well okay, legal revenge it is."
*Timeskip again bcz yeah*
[In the cafeteria. Scene kinda like the Reynolds pamflet scene except highschool]
*Shoves newspaper in Clem's face* HAVE YOU READ THIS?? :DD
*Gasps* "This idiot had a torrid affair- and he wrote it down right there!" :0
"Oh shit. I just thought of something" Susan looks away panickly (is that a word)
(I think it is a word)
"Oh my god, what is it?" *Clem hesitatingly puts an arm on Susan's shoulder.*
"What if those girls get picked on for it like my mom and Eliza instead of the guy?" *Susan panicked*"shit shit shit shit shit shit shit-"
*Clem's eyes widen.*
"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD." *She takes a deep breath.* "Susan, just calm yourself. Maybe, if we don't specify the girls' names, nobody will pick on them? How could they, it's anonymous!" *Realization* "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD WE ARE SO DOOMED."
"I appreciate the brief optimism, but WE ALREADY PUT THE GIRL'S NAMES"
"OH SHIT." *Blankly stares at the piece of paper, then shrugs.* "Well, everybody fights for themselves here."
"I'm going to kill anyone who dares to slutshame the girls and not the guy :3"
