Wilbur Cross 🍏

An Ask Blog/RP Blog for Wilbur Cross (aka Uncle Wiley) from the Hatchetfield Series

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Ahoy There Boys and Girls!

It’s Uncle Wiley here! We’re gonna have some fun here on Tumblr!

I got told by a special fwendy wend of ours to make one of these accounts and keep an eye on some of our friends! Make sure no one’s stepping out of line and doing anything that could hurt our little fwendy wends feelings. Of course, I also wanna stay in touch with you fine folks as well!

Feel free to ask me anything, or to let me know if you see anything strange happening!

…

Okay is that enough for this bit? Jeez, I can’t believe this is what he wants me to do right now. Maybe I’ll find a way to make this fun for myself too. I mean, whats a game for if not for fun.

======

Okay OCC here,

Hi! This is just a fun ask blog/rp blog for one of my favorite characters in the Hatchetfield series! Feel free to interact however you want!

A few things to note though:

1. Please don’t send anything bigoted/slurs. The basics yk?

2. While this is based on a character from Hatchetfield, I will be doing a few things that aren’t perfectly in line with his cannon that I think would be fun! Nothing crazy, but just so you know!

3. I draw and I’m not opposed to asks that involve images or drawings! Go for it :D

4. I wanna keep this for fans 16+ so no explicit NSWF. Cusses, violence/blood, and suggestive stuff to an extent is chill though.

5. Green text is Wilbur being Wilbur. White/Black is him being Wiley.

That’s it! This is just for fun and to try and tell a story maybe :PP

And for anyone curious, I’m Sadie! I use They/Them and my main is @strwbrrysdpop

[feed-it-to-nibbly]

Wilbur Cross, that guys giving me the creeps and I hate em

@ask-uncle-wiley :)

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Not again…

Also I’m hurt Anon, I ain’t that creepy am I? :)

[ask-uncle-wiley]

I’m thinking about sneaking down to the honey festival in one of the universe. Could be fun to start some chaos.

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Thoughts on Hannah Foster?

Hannah Foster is an interesting case. Sure the children of Hatchetfield possess some form of power if tapped into right, but her ability surpasses anything we’ve ever seen.

I’m curious to see whatever she does, and how I can use it.

[ask-uncle-wiley]

What is your second favorite reptile?

Uncle Wiley's second favorite reptile huh? Well, I'd have to go with snakes! ---

They're cool but still too slimey for me.

[ask-uncle-wiley]

What's your favorite curse?

Curse as in curse word? Or spell? My favorite curse to use is The Watcher. It makes people see into the black and white for a brief second. They see the lords true forms. It's fun to put on unsuspecting people :) Favorite curse word is bitch.

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Top 10 Apples? (OOC: Asked by @pixllated but Tumblr deleted the question when I went to answer this the first time and I'll be damned if I don't give you your answer)

Easy

1. Green Dragon Apple -> Sweet and decadent. Perfect. No notes.

2. Shamrock Apple -> They're festive and tangy.

3. Granny Smith Apple -> A classic. Bitter but a staple.

4. Rhode Island Greening Apple -> Only this high up cause I found out they have a roadway in the state over thats named after me. I appreciate the recognition.

5. Northwest Greening Apple -> Best apple to use if you bake anything

.6. Calville Blanc d'Hiver Apple -> These you only get out on fancy occasions.

7. Transparent Apple -> Crisp and fun to look at.

8. Lodi Apple -> Staple apple to eat in the Summer.

9. Mutsu Apple -> The juiciest apples I've ever had in my life.

10. Smokehouse Apple -> A hybrid of sorts that good for smoking things with.

Granny Smith's are the only ones I've been able to grow in Drowsy Town. I'm not entirely sure why, but it's nice to have at least one thing that grows.

And that Wiggly doesn't know about.

[feed-it-to-nibbly]

You should eat a bunch of wiggly sniggles as revenge. And some tickle-me-wigglies. And Uncle Wiley

I should!!!

Tastes like capitalism!

@ask-uncle-wiley You taste like capitalism too!

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Don’t eat good ol Uncle Wiley! Although I’m sure I taste pretty capitalistic :D

———

Nibbly no stop do nOT PUT ME IN YOUR MOUTH AGAIN-

[feed-it-to-nibbly]

HAhahahahahahaha!!! Yum yum!

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Thanks Nibbly…

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Any opinions on Clivesdale?

Fuck Clivesdale.

[feed-it-to-nibbly]

You should eat a bunch of wiggly sniggles as revenge. And some tickle-me-wigglies. And Uncle Wiley

I should!!!

Tastes like capitalism!

@ask-uncle-wiley You taste like capitalism too!

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Don’t eat good ol Uncle Wiley! Although I’m sure I taste pretty capitalistic :D

———

Nibbly no stop do nOT PUT ME IN YOUR MOUTH AGAIN-

[ask-uncle-wiley]

what’s your opinion on a certain denim-wearing witch, and that social worker who’s always hanging out with her?

She is the vein of my existence. Always has to get in the way of what I’m doing. Also her 80s gimmick is…very annoying after awhile. But, as much as I hate her, I must admit, she’s strong and she’s stubborn. I respect her commitment. Too bad I’m better than her.

As for her boy toy…what’s his name Duke? The guys got a good heart but, that ain’t gonna get him very far. I mean his dad had the same thing and well…I was able to take him out rather easy.

Also, just saying, the jacket looks better on me than her. Take that Holloway.

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Thoughts on Capitalism 🍏 - Hereby a lonely apple

Capitalism is one of Wiley's favorite things! Don't forget to help out your local capitalist kids!

---

Capitalism is the root of evil. It creates a wealth gap that nowadays is so large that common people are being left abandoned by everything. Have you ever met a nice or non-corrupt capitalist? They don't exist. It's why it's so easy to start wars, apocalypses, or inspire fear in capitalist societies, it leaves the people weak with nothing to rely on but the products and items that make them happy.

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Opinions on a girl named TJ? Apparently she is Ted’s child, and one of your fwends might be looking for her…

Any kid is welcome over at Uncle Wiley's Toy Shop! Me and my Fwendy Wends would love to meet this TJ!

---

Ah, TJ Spankoffski. Ted's kid in one of the universes. My boss had me try to find her at one point for Tinky. She can't keep hiding from the lords forever...

[feed-it-to-nibbly]

Since when were you entertained by human's social media's? - @ask-uncle-wiley

"Entertained" is a strong word.

What are you doing on here, Wiley?

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Keeping an eye on Hatchetfield, and your brothers. Pokey's right by the way, let Nibbly eat sacrifices in peace, don't we have enough people to mess with already outside Nibbly's?

[ask-uncle-wiley]

What does Wiggly think about Mickey Mouse and Disney? All the mindless consumption, consumerism, and mistreatment of workers seems right up his alley

We don't talk about the mouse in Uncle Wiley's Toy Shop!

...we still have lawsuits pending

---

Oh Wiggly hates Disney. Loves their Buisness practices, the mistreatment, and the consumerism. But Pokey plays so many Disney songs on loop that if any of the sniggles even mentions the mouse around him he'll tear them limb from limb.

Note to self: play a song from Moana at your next meeting with the boss to piss him off.

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Do you have your own Wiggly doll?

I don’t just have a Wiggly doll, I’m honored to be friends with the real Wiggly! :D

---

You know I wish I could say no. But, I do. Unfortunately. Boss gave one to me to keep in my house, except it’s alive, and an absolute pain in my ass. I mean look-

It keeps eating my furniture. But I’m not allowed to get rid of the damn thing.

(OOC: Thank you to whichever anon put this one in I came up with a silly drawing idea for it and I really like how it came out)

[ask-uncle-wiley]

Dear Mr. Cross,

Were you the one in an insanely homosexual gay bromance/marriage with John MacNamara or are those just rumors? Also, thoughts on Ted Spankoffski?

- Sincerely, a bar of soap

…who let the talking bar of soap near technology again…

General MacNamara and I were never married but we were…..close. Never married but I certainly wouldn’t say we were just friends. It was complicated.

As for Ted Spankoffski, I’ve only ever met the guy a handful of times. Most of them were catching whatever version of him had accidentally slipped out of Tinky’s toybox. It’s interesting how such a…unique character could capture so many people’s hearts. He’s just an idiot. Well, most versions of him are.