Cyril Figgis

Certified Accountant And Field Agent

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

If you had an opportunity to change your name (like Cheryl supposedly did, *heh*), what would you change it to?

Hmm....that's actually kind of a difficult question, I'd probably go with another Irish name. Maybe Mickey?

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

You know…

Mexican Prisons? Not all that bad.

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

What did you even do?

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Who to you is the scariest batman villain and why?

I'd probably have to go with Joker. He was the one that scared me most as a child, and to this day I'm sure if I was faced with Joker in real life I'd probably be terrified.

[mumblingeediot]

Archer

[askmaloryarcher]

PAM! That was a very private moment! How dare you?!

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Now you know how I feel!

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

I can't even type now, it hurts. STILL.

[orcses]

Archer rewatch: 1x02 “Training Day”

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

why did i ever agree to take part in any of this?

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

If you need me…I’ll be on the floor of my apartment in the...

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Answers from Fort Kick Ass.: Today is just NOT a good day.

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

How am I supposed to explain a blood soaked bathroom?!

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

If you need me…I’ll be on the floor of my apartment in the fetal position….nursing two severely burned hands.

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

so Cyril. I got good news and bad...

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

I'm sure I won't because I don't go around almost killing people, like you.

Are at least going to clean up all the blood?

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Today is just NOT a good day.

If you need me…I’ll be on the floor of my apartment in the fetal position….nursing two severely burned hands.

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

so Cyril. I got good news and bad news….

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Oh god…

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

Bad News…totally tore up your bathroom. It’s wrecked. Blood everywhere. Just…just disgusting.

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

What’s the good news?

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

Jane’s alive!

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

So I didn't have to destroy my hand?

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Today is just NOT a good day.

If you need me…I’ll be on the floor of my apartment in the fetal position….nursing two severely burned hands.

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

so Cyril. I got good news and bad news….

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Oh god…

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

Bad News…totally tore up your bathroom. It’s wrecked. Blood everywhere. Just…just disgusting.

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

What's the good news?

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Today is just NOT a good day.

If you need me…I’ll be on the floor of my apartment in the fetal position….nursing two severely burned hands.

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

so Cyril. I got good news and bad news….

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Oh god...

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Today is just NOT a good day.

If you need me...I'll be on the floor of my apartment in the fetal position....nursing two severely burned hands.

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

You would think someone who has to spend half of their day with Lana and the other half with Archer wouldn’t cry so much from a simple second degree burn and the sight of a (not quite dead) former Data Entry Clerk in a bathroom.

But nooooooooooooooo.

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

...

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

WHY DO I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS STUFF?!

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

You would think someone who has to spend half of their day with Lana and the other half with Archer wouldn’t cry so much from a simple second degree burn and the sight of a (not quite dead) former Data Entry Clerk in a bathroom.

But nooooooooooooooo.

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

YOU BURN OFF YOUR FINGER PRINTS THEN! IT FREAKIN' HURTS!

AND YOU'RE DOING UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO HER!

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Who's the beneficiary on your ISIS life insurance?

I don’t know why it’s any of your business but the beneficiary on my life insurance is Lana.

[matildazq]

[askbarrydylan-blog]

Is that Scatterbrain Jane?

[askmaloryarcher]

I really don’t know why I gave him his own office. He only uses it to cheat on Lana, anyway

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

I do not!

Not anymore at least…

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

askcyrilfiggis replied to your post: I have good news…and bad news…

And the bad news?

…

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Answers from Fort Kick Ass.: askcyrilfiggis replied to your post: I have good news…and bad news……

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Wait….why was

I listed as her beneficiary?! God damn it, FINE. But I’ll have the record show I was never willingly a part of this!

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

I don’t now! Maybe it was the “I HEARD YOU JUST GOT CANCER” sex a few years ago! Just shut up and I’ll make sure the feds never find out about this!

Also we might need to burn your fingerprints off.

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

WE ARE NOT BURNING MY FINGERPRINTS OFF!

[askdockrieger-deactivated201506]

THEN ONE OF US IS GOING TO GO TO JAIL IF SHE DOESN’T MAKE IT CYRIL AND SEEING AS SHE IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR APARTMENT, ON YOUR SHAG CARPET, COVERED IN YOUR FINGERPRINTS AND YOU ARE LISTED ON HER HEALTH INSURANCE THIS TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE A MURDER FOR BENEFITS, MR. FIGGIS.

NOW SHUT UP AND PUT YOUR GODDAMN HAND ON THE WAFFLE IRON.

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Oh god, how will I explain THIS to Lana.

It’s no big deal, I just let Krieger burn my hand with a waffle iron so that I wouldn’t be framed for murder why I helped him dispose of a body?!

Why do I let you get me wrapped in this stuff!