Ask Detective Rogers

[askdetectiverogers]

"My muse is dead. Tell me how yours is dealing with it." Well, I don't have a muse, but... *checks watch* You back alive yet? *sigh* Listen, could you step it up a little? I mean, yes, your corpse is very handsome, but I really don't have all day here. Just... Like, just come back alive already. We all know you're going to. What got you this time, anyway, great survivor? Did you step on a lego or something? No, no, I'm sure it was... like, super traumatic and stuff. Yeah. Sure.

Killian: 

@killian-whump:

“Sigh.... They’re no fun once they’re dead.... unless”

“ah.... so much better”

[askdetectiverogers]

By deciding on lilies or orchids for the funeral...

Okay but did he ever actually decide??????? @icecubelotr44

[askdetectiverogers]

Sadly Milah can't react to your death because she's still in the river.

What part of too soon did you not understand???

[askboxmemes]

My muse is dead. Tell me how yours is dealing with it.

[askdetectiverogers]

You really think Emma is going to come for you?

Emma?

His eyebrows furrowed.  He hadn’t thought of Emma.  Or for that matter of his Storybrooke counterpart.  Both had vanished into the madness of caring for a newborn and if he recalled anything about the process the haze would clear in... three to four months.     

It had felt so natural to contact Roni.  Her bar was under new management and her life mostly in Storybrooke now, but something of the easy companionship of the curse remained between them.   She wouldn’t ignore a call for help.  

She wouldn’t.  

Would she?  

[askdetectiverogers]

I didn't think he'd actually do it

“He still hasn’t” Killian chastised himself for the errant, traitorous thought,  knocked loose when he hit the floor again. “it isn’t him.”

‘Stay down’ he heard the voice and it sounded like Liam.  He wasn’t sure if it was Rumplestiltskin goading him or Liam pleading with him or just that voice in his head that always told him how to survive and always sounded like Liam for as long as he could remember.  

“Do you remember when we were kids?” he asked quietly.  Liam’s aggressive stance backed down slightly,  the crocodile’s curiosity piqued giving them both a break that would be all too temporary.  Tears flowed freely down Liam’s cheeks and they hurt so much more than the blows.  “You used to tell me to stay down.  Just stay down until I come for you.  Just hang on until help comes.”  

He glanced up,  meeting Liam’s eyes pleadingly.  He hoped Rumplestiltskin would misunderstand the plea.  

Liam wouldn’t.  

Liam had never once told him to hang on until help comes.  No help was ever coming.  Only Liam.  But things were different now.  (He hoped)  His every hope was on a fragment of a message sent to a woman 3000 miles away.  But it was a hope he had.  And one Liam desperately needed.  

[askdetectiverogers]

I know you don't want to talk about specifics, but everyone has *some* people who rely on them. Doesn't that worry you, that you might should be escaping for her... I mean these genaric people who count on you?

And my brother?  Is Liam permitted to count on no one?  When we’ve only just gotten him back?

Frustration welled deep in the pit of his stomach.  A sick feeling of guilt and anguish and anger all tangled up together and he just wanted to hit- to fight-  to yell at someone.  

There was no one here to fight.  Only his brother and the whisper of doubt in his head.  And he couldn’t fight Liam.  Liam was hurting enough without Killian showing him the confusion and fear that were running rampant in his mind.  He couldn’t even imagine the hell he was subjecting Liam to by ignoring his pleas.  

It would kill him to have to hurt Liam.  And Alice? His mind recoiled from even the thought.  He squared his shoulders against an involuntary shudder and looked up, finally meeting Liam’s eyes.  

“I’m sorry, brother.  I can’t-”  His words were cut off by the sudden sharp taste of blood in his mouth. He stumbled back, startled in spite of himself.  There was no warning,  no flash of anger in the eyes, no smirk of the lip which usually prepared him for a blow.  He wiped the blood away with the sleeve of his jacket and steadied himself, his own mask slipping into place again, the one he hadn’t needed for so many years now.  Hook.  He smiled mockingly up at the man hiding behind his brother’s face.  "Really?  I’ve had foreplay rougher than that.”

[askdetectiverogers]

Do you think Liam blames you for staying? Not just wants you to leave, but blames you for not?

Who else could he blame?

No one is forcing me to stay. The cuffs were a joke. I don’t even think that door is locked. This is a damned mind game that we’re both losing.

[askdetectiverogers]

Fine. If you won't talk about Alice, what about some 'hypothetical' kid. 'If' you had a grown kid, would you be able to handle that? Because this isn't about what *you* can take. We all know you can take the pain. But can Liam take being forced to hurt you? Could you take being forced to hurt a grown child that you raised?

He doesn’t have a choice.  

I don’t have a choice.

Neither of us has a bloody choice and until I can sink my hook into the crocodile’s brain and scramble his innards to mush-

...

This is about what I can take.  This is about surviving.  About both of us,  surviving.  The rest... the rest is for later.  

[askdetectiverogers]

Maybe *you* can handle the pain, but do you really think Liam can handle being forced to inflict it? I mean, I'm sure you've noticed that he basically considers you his kid. Could you handle being forced to torture Alice? Is there any possible way you would come out of that okay?

My mother is dead, I can hardly do her any harm now,” Killian snapped tersely.

And if she were alive it would hardly be a fair comparison. She was gentle. And young. And doesn’t have the scars to protect her that I do.

She couldn’t take it.

I can.

[askdetectiverogers]

You know Liam sees you like his kid right? What would you have Alice do in this situation?

Alice? I have no idea what you’re on about-

Please, not in front of him.

I know how my brother sees me, but I am not a child.  

I can handle this.  

[askdetectiverogers]

He won't forgive you for this.

He will if we survive.

Probably.

[askdetectiverogers]

Please. Please, don't make him do this.

I’m-

I’m sorry. 

[askdetectiverogers]

So you are willing to let Rumplestiltskin *destroy* your brother, just so you don't have to *watch* him die? Even if you both are going to die anyway?

What the bloody hell would you have me do instead? Let him die right now?

I can’t.  

I just need to buy time.

He can stand it.

I hope.

[askdetectiverogers]

You do realize his heart gets crushed either way, right? I mean, first, torturing you will break him. But after he is of no further use, Rumplestiltskin will still crush his heart, after hours or days of torment.

I’ll just have to survive then, won’t I? Make it worth the crocodile’s time.  

Do not be deceived.  This is not selflessness.  It is possibly the most selfish thing I have done in a very long life.  But I am the one with the freedom to be selfish.  

I will not watch him die again. 

[askdetectiverogers]

He'd want you to leave him.

So he keeps informing me.  

I do not know how to make this more clear to either of you.  I will not abandon my brother.

[askdetectiverogers]

Liam seems to be under the impression everything will sort itself out if you shoot him.

He is not so foolish, whatever he may wish me to believe.  

He knows what Rumplestiltskin will do to him if I leave this room.