Krenko's Guide to Creature Types: Performer
What is a Performer (flavorfully)?
A Performer is someone who professionally entertains, such as by dance, acrobatics, acting, or… sometimes singing. But not all signings are performers, as some of them are bards. And some dancers are bards. Still, 100% of professional wrestlers are performers.
The vast majority of Performers we’ve seen have been at Myra the Magnificent's Intergalactic Astrotorium of Fun, with the only others at time of printing being in the Spider-Man set. That said, we could easily start seeing a lot more in the future.
What is a Performer (mechanically)?
Performer is a Class (or Job) creature type, and is thus usually paired with a Race (or Species) creature type. As most Performers are from Unfinity, many of them interact with Stickers and/or names of cards, with a few caring about Attractions. They come in all five colors, with a cycle of rare Legendary Performers having Partner. In Spider-Man, the few performers have nothing in common.
Can I make a Performer deck?
You’re playing with acorn cards if you’re doing it, and thus it’s not legal in any official format, but you absolutely can. The only card that cares about Performers is “Done for the Day,” but just by playing Performers you’re making a synergistic Stickers deck. Obviously, using Stickers comes with its own challenges, but it’s an option.
Though there’s Performers with Partner, making a Commander deck with them becomes too tight. Performers are spread among all colors, and you’re only getting two colors this way. It’s genuinely hard for me to tell if this would work.
Is Performer a good creature type?
If Performer only existed in Unfinity, I’d brush it off and not worry about it at all, but Final Fantasy gave us Dancer’s Chakrams (which is basically still ignorable) and Spider-Man has given us five Performers, so I guess we’re doing Performers now. And now I need to complain, because I don’t understand the difference between a Performer and a Bard, and I’m not sure Wizards is really sure what it’s doing with Bard, either. Now, Bard is a relatively new creature type, not showing up until 2021, but it immediately became standard for musicians, poets, writers, and, for reasons I don’t fully understand, a single painter. Let’s contrast with the Performer type, which appeared in 2022. Angelic Harold is a singer, but he’s a Performer and not a Bard. The Mary Janes, a rock band, are a Bard Performer. Gwen Stacy, their drummer, is a Performer, but not a Bard. Rock Star, a rock star, is a Performer, but not a Bard. Three Dog, a DJ, is a Bard, not a Performer. Lotuslight Dancers are a Bard. Thistledown Players, an acting troupe, is a Bard.
This is a hot mess, and honestly, I don’t think we need Performer at all. Mary Jane Watson is an actress, she could be a Bard. Professional Wrestler is an actor and stuntman, he could be a Bard. Maybe it’s a bit weird to make acrobatics and beast tamers Bard, and I’m not opposed to a Performer/Bard split, but then it should be clear where that split is and all musicians should be Bard and all dancers should be Performer, but right now that’s not the case.
And of course, there’s the whole issue of this being a new creature type that older creatures don’t get updated to. Rakdos Headliner should certainly be a Performer, as well as half the other members of the cult. Rakdos Firewheeler? Rakdos Ringleader? Judith herself? I know Wizards balks at functional errata, but they could literally have avoided the issue just by making the performers in Spider-Man into Bards.
