ISIS: Lana Kane

Yuhp. Lana Kane here. Archer's got one of these so I'm checking it out. It's for questions right? Shoot! ..... Uh, Figuratively.

[asklanakane-blog]

It's time for your check up, Lana.

From you? I don't think so. 

[asklanakane-blog]

So you really were baby crazy, huh?

I’m not ‘baby crazy’ I’m just a woman. With a ticking clock…..Who’s not ever getting any younger. 

[asklanakane-blog]

So archer cheated on you, you never went back to him, Cyril cheated on you and you're giving him another chance, me thinks I smell a double standard.

Uhhhh Cyril isn’t a total prick majority of the hours he’s breathing. Not that my choice in men is any of your business. 

[asklanakane-blog]

Lana no offense but you and Cyril really have some issues you need to work out, I mean more severe issues than when you were with Archer.

WELL THANK YOU NOSEY ANONYMOUS. If you hadn’t of messaged me this I don’t think Cyril and I would EVER have a chance of getting better! I mean, thank god you were here to say this because now I miss being with fuck face Archer. Golly gee, you should be a therapist.  

[asklanakane-blog]

Hon, just so you know no matter what Cheryl said I am still going to find you attractive no matter how big you get.

That’s because I have a smoking hot body EVEN WHEN MY BELLY IS CARRYING A BABY. But thanks sweetie. I’m going to find you attractive no matter how old you get.♡ 

[asklanakane-blog]

is archer your baby daddy?

Uhh he’s the last person I’d want to be the father of my child. I mean, yeah his genes mixed with my genes couldn’t hurt BUT nope. noooooopeeee.  

[asklanakane-blog]

Seems like Cheryl is really interested in your man, are you worried?

Nope. Cyril wouldn’t cheat on me again and if he did, he knows what will happen….And it involves church… 

[asklanakane-blog]

Who in ISIS would you never EVER sleep with

Malory. Krieger’s a close second. He weirds the shit out of me.  

[asklanakane-blog]

Are you going to remain a field agent now that you're going to be a mother or are you going to be a stay at home parent?

I’m going to stay in my field, I think. I’ll still need time off with the baby but I’ll go back. I can be a good mother and still work. Unlike someone. 

[asklanakane-blog]

Is your baby going to be mixed race?

Considering I’M mixed race. Uhh , yuhhhp. 

[asklanakane-blog]

So Cheryl is still trying to get me to have sex with her?

Why does this not surprise me? If you sleep with her again Cyril I will rip your balls out and shove them up Archer’s ass. 

[asklanakane-blog]

So is Cyril's dick size part of the reason you're still with him? I heard it's massive.

Wha—-You gray faces seriously have no shame. But yeah he’s pretty big. Not that it’s anyone’s business.  and NOT the reason I'm with him. 

[asklanakane-blog]

Girl, you need to get an ultrasound done. The suspense is killin' me. I wanna see what y'all got growin' in there!

Yes I do! Only 6 and a half weeks along now so... It's still too early to tell! Don't worry you'll be the first to know, Ray. 

[asklanakane-blog]

Pizza with chocolate sauce....ugh yum.

[asklanakane-blog]

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

Are you even allowed to have sex?

[asklanakane-blog]

WHA---YES CYRIL. The baby is in my UTERUS not my VAGINA. My god---ugh. Forget I asked. 

[asklanakane-blog]

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

So then why does everyone think there is?

[asklanakane-blog]

Because everyone else hasn’t been with you.  That and they’re hooked on king dipshit archer. 

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

You’re happy, though, with me?

[asklanakane-blog]

I'm happy with you Cyril. Yes. 

[asklanakane-blog]

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

What’s wrong with me?

[asklanakane-blog]

Oh, honey. Nothing is wrong with you…

[askcyrilfiggis-blog]

So then why does everyone think there is?

[asklanakane-blog]

Because everyone else hasn't been with you.  That and they're hooked on king dipshit archer.