“Welcome to The Inndefinite! We’re so happy to have you here, and you’ll find over the course of your time here that we have everything you need and more.”
“We’re sure you’re wondering about check-in. We would like you to rest assured that check-in was completed upon waking in your room, and no further steps are necessary. However, if you wish to acquire additional room keys, you will need to request this at the front desk.”
“We know your room is to your liking, we’re so glad you enjoy it! We pride ourselves on our dedicated to detail staff, so that your room feels authentic to you. If anything is missing, give the front desk a call with the phone in your room, and we’ll do our best to accommodate, within reason.”
“Most of our amenities are available 24/7, and they include:”
All inclusive food and beverage
Rooftop Pool, when conditions allow*
The Inndefinite cable channels and internet ( no wi-fi password necessary! )
“ *We do not always know when conditions allow, but the elevator does. The rooftop button will become operational when conditions are good, and will cease to be operational when conditions do not allow. If you are enjoying our rooftop pool when the latter happens, an alarm will sound to indicate the change, at which point you have 1 minute and 46 seconds exactly to get back in the elevator before it shuts off access in and out of the roof.”
“We do have a few hotel rules that are in all Inndefinite residents best interest to follow.”
Be respectful of other residents and their spaces.
Don’t enter unlabeled rooms, especially if the door is ajar.
If rule 2 is disregarded, you must obey the rules posted in the room. We are not responsible for any consequences that arise if these are not followed.
The stairwell is off limits. It may try to beckon to you, and the doors refuse to stay locked, but please do resist. Staff are unfortunately unable to do anything about this at this time.
You may gaze outside, but try not to do so for too long. There may be consequences to this, and experiencing unpleasant side effects is possible.
Don’t leave. We’d hate to lose you.
“If you have any issues, you may ring the bell at the front desk. When the chandelier lights turn green, you may express your concerns, and staff will get to work on what they can shortly. Don’t be discouraged if you never see them—hotel policy is that staff remain unseen at all times.”
“We encourage all residents to work out issues with each other as best they can before reporting to the front desk. We wish to avoid the use of hotel security. If hotel security becomes involved, all building lights will turn red. We advise all residents to heed the lights and return to their rooms post haste, until the lights return to normal.”
“Finally, hotel news and updates will be broadcast through all hotel TV’s. Stay tuned!”
“We hope the information we’ve provided for you here is sufficient, and we look forward to what you make of your time here at The Inndefinite.”
“… is this… some kind of? Super involved?? Escape room???”
