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What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what

Final Chapter

Masterpost of chapters

Cw: self hate and (non detailed) suicidal ideation but I promise it's not like that the whole way through

1 Hour after the breakup

Not long after Janus had left Remus sobbing on the hotel room floor Remy and Emile arrived to pick him up. As it turned out Janus had been so genuinely concerned about Remus possibly hurting himself whether intentionally or not that he had called the demons and told them Rem's exact location so that he at least wouldn't be alone.

They found Remus surronded by shattered glass as he had thrown every cup into the floor and shattered every bottle on the floor. Not in anger as much as it had been in an attempt to relieve the overwhelming feelings.

Emile had to fly over to him and forcefully pick him up because he at first refused to leave and even after he agreed he still wanted to walk all over the broken glass.

"What do I do without him!?" He sobbed as Remy helped him into the backseat of the car they'd rented.

But by the time Emile had started the car he had already switched to yelling "I'LL FIND JANNIE AND I- I'LL CUT OFF HIS LEGS AND HE WON'T- HE WON'T GET TO LEAVE!"

"Sure girlie" Remy replied with a deadpan look while hugging him.

"HE JUST LEFT!? AND FOR WHAT!!?" Remus sunk deeper into Remy's embrace "I don't know how to live without him"

"It's easy, you just breathe as you always have"

"I don't know how" He repeated.

"You lived for liike 20 years before meeting him-"

"AND I WAS FUCKING MISERABLE THOSE 20 DICKING YEARS! I WANTED TO DIE!"

Remy didn't have any response to that and decided to simply hug him harder.

-

It turned out that Emile and Remy had actually been dreaming about moving to Earth for quite some time despite both having believed it would never happen. To the point that Emile had a binder filled with printed out pictures and collages of what their apartment could look like and lists of which citys had the most lively deaf community.

Therefore as soon as the managers weren't able to hinder them anymore they started the moving process. Roman apparently knew a good estate agent that they got in contact with and not less than a week after they got the keys to their brand new home.

Emile bought flowers to fill the windowsills with while Remy fought with the screwdriver to put the ikea furniture together. Em finally had enough space to start collecting cartoon plushies and Remy had an actual closet to put their clothes in. Em started to volunteer at the local library and came home with his arms covered in snot from kids who'd climbed into his lap while Remy tested out as many restaurants as they could in preparation to know the best places to take Em on date nights.

It was as close to a fairytale happy ending as real life could get, except for the depressing elephant in the living room and that elephant was named Remus.

For several days he laid there on the newly bought couch as lifeless as a corpse. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep and he didn't speak.

"Girlie?" Remy asked while poking his cheek. They had scooted onto the arm rest "How you doing?" They rolled over on top of him.

Remus started to move his hands into signs but Remy grabbed his hands and rubbed their thumbs against his palms "You can like talk. I can lip read. Like you remember you can talk to demons right? Your voice is back girlie"

".....Sure"

"Okay"

He didn't say anything more. His eyes were like muddy water but Remy thought he at least didn't look like he was starving, that was always something.

"Okay so like me and Emmi were thinking of going out for the night so just like don't burn anything down?...Or like if a fire would make you feel better you can start like one tiny fire but keep it in the sink please"

"Mhhmmm"

Not even the opportunity to start a fire excited him, this was badddd "I'll like tell you if I see any particularly nasty rodent"

It barely even got a nod from Remus.

-

A few days later when Remy passed the living room on their way to go to a rollerskating class they got surprised to see that the tv was on, but they had to quickly cover their eyes when they saw an intruder try to stab scissors into a pregnant woman's belly.

"What in the Wrath circle are you watching!? I'm like happy you're doing stuff but Why tHAT"

They sadly had to open their eyes to read Remus' lips "A human movie"

"Human?" Remy wrinkled their nose "Don't you totally hate human media? Stinky poo poo humanws y'know? Saying I was kissing human ass for liking Britney?"

Remus sat confused for a while before remembering he had had a life before Janus. He shrugged and said "Guess I just got different taste"

"Yeah..." Remy crossed their arms and just kinda looked at him for a few long seconds "I guess you have"

The words hadn't been spoken in an angry way or even a standoffish way but still after Remy had left Remus sat still in the living room and sudenly felt like he was invading a stranger's home just as much as that lady was invading the pregnant woman's house.

-

Emile tried to push him to go outside or at least put his head outside the window for a few minutes to get some fresh air, hell even walking circles in the apartment would be enough, until he was practically begging but Remus couldn't.

The sun hurt his eyes and the sounds coming from the neighbors was sometimes enough to trigger a migraine. He couldn't imagine how it would feel if he was outside, but he didn't want to tell either of them about his migraines either. He was the one who had set his fingertips on fire for fun and jumped off trees to hear his ankles crunch so he assumed no one would take him suffering from migraines seriously.

And as the days passed and Emile kept asking and kept checking up on him his expression never changed and his voice never wavered but Remus could tell it was tiring for him. After decades of having to abide by rules they were finally free and here Remus was dragging them down. Forcing them to live around him. Literally making them have to take up less space on their own goddamn couch.

One afternoon Emile came over to him with that same smile that was always plastered over a look of pity "Rem-bem honey could you maybe move out of the living room just for today? You can go sit in our bedroom right? We're having guests- OH of course you can sit with us and have dinner but I just assumed maybe you wouldn't have the energy you totally can if you-"

"It's cool" Remus waved off his rambling "I'll just slug my way over there. I can become the monster hiding under your bed"

"Thanks!" Emile pulled him into a hug but it felt hollow.

A few days after that Remus found out from overhearing a conversation between the couple that the guests that came over had actually been a party with Remy's new fellow deaf friends congratulating the fact that since they could finally stay on Earth for more than a day at a time they had been able to contact a doctor about getting hearing aids.

(Of course for the humans they just said they'd finally found a doctor regarding hearing aids)

He wasn't really sure why Remy hadn't told him, maybe he seemed too conceited right now. Or maybe they had told him and he had just been zoned out.

He hid his head under pillows while hearing Emile and Remy dance around in the kitchen in the middle of the night and wanted to snap his fingers in two every time he heard them kissing. Was it really that much of a mystery why they wouldn't want to share their happiness with him.

The hearing aids didn't give Remy the ability to understand what people were saying but it did make them able to hear low bass tones. If they put their head near Emile's they could hear the lower parts of his voice and when resting on his chest they could even make out his heartbeats.

They excitedly came home to Remus and showed the aids off in their bright blue sparkly glory but as soon as the endorphine high dropped off Remus saw how their expression saddened a little every single time they looked at him.

It was that night while Remy and Emile were out at a concert that Remus wrote a note, fluffed up the pillows on the couch and left.

-

1 year after the breakup

Remus ended up at a nudist weed farm mostly as a result of him having discovered that half a bowl and a joint made his migraines disappear, and also made him lose feeling in his toes but it was worth it.

The days passed by in a hot breeze with Remus busy at work as the appointed fertilizer expert. He spent the days throwing cow shit at the ground and collecting the most rancid pieces of rotten food for his fertilizer pile. The sun stood tall and he quickly turned several shades darker and his freckles became prevalent all over his body.

The only person who could stand to be around the demon while he worked was a human called Peaches. She wasn't crazy enough to actually help him but she would sit beside him and they would take turns in rambling. English wasn't her native language either which ironically enough made it easier for them to communicate. She'd spent her teen years on shock & gore sites and while she didn't look at those anymore Remus thought it was fascinating to hear about them.

The residents of the weed farm all lived in a communal ranch with sleeping rooms that had been filled to the brim with bunkbeds. There was rarely enough space to have privacy and in a way it felt familiar to the quarters in Hell. They woke up with the sun and Remus got high before he had a chance to think and drank more for breakfast than ate. He worked until his arms ached and kept himself busy with horror movies the rest of the time. He'd started watching chronologically.

Six months passed in the blink of an eye and he was onto year 1946 of horror movies.

Remus got close to a guy who had a kink for sleeping which obviously the succubi was excited about because that meant he could slumber through the awful feeding time, but the problem was that the guy was too kind. After the sex when he woke Remus up he was simply too nice, too caring when he scrubbed him off in the shower and too careful about not pushing any of his boundaries. Remus felt ill afterwards and had to make up for the nice things by scratching at his skin or biting his nails until they bleed which got annoying. Which was why he broke it off with the guy and started to prefer prowling for food at the parties.

Once a week the people who wanted drove to the ocean and skinny dipped and on weekends there were almost always parties.

Ironically enough for a nudist colony the parties were one of the few times when most of them dressed up. Not only because outsiders often came to join them but mostly because when they're used to seeing everyone naked being clothed suddenly become something erotic.

The succubi's plan was easy: Get so drunk and high that he blacked out and then hope that by the time he woke again someone would have used him.

Annoyingly enough he kept waking up tucked under a blanket in a bed with a bucket next to him or on the couch with a post-it note stuck to his forehead telling people to keep off of him because he'd blacked out.

In retaliation he stole a white t-shirt and used black marker to write "Cumdump" on it because he was nothing if not succint and eloquent.

At the following party he blacked out within the first 15 minutes and came back with his head hung over the toilet puking his guts up. The scent of a fellow succubi made him in a blur ask.

"Ro-Ro?"

He dug his fingers down into the tiles to pull himself across the floor and teared up when he felt a demon tail caress his cheek. But when his eyes cleared all he saw was a stranger balancing on the edge of the bathtub to blow their cigarette smoke out of the tiny bathroom window.

"Didn't know we could vomit that much to be honest" The sucubi said in their native language.

"Why're here?"

"What?" A smile played on the edge of their lips "Like this is your territory? Have you pissed all over it or something? I heard there was a party, just looking for fun"

Remus nodded and curled down on the floor to keep the rest of his insides inside.

"Have you been to Hell in a while?" The stranger asked "Patton returned. THE Patton. With a human that had turned into a demon. It's chaos. But like the managers aint managing, at least not right now, you don't gotta do this shit if you don't wanna"

"Whatchaaa mean?!?! Im also here for fUNN!"

"Uh-huh. well either way you're ruining the vibe so im outa here. Just like wanted to tell you in case you somehow had mixed the societal change of the century"

"Ahchtually! I dathed that human turhned demon!" Remus slurred out.

The stranger just laughed "You're funny. You should try to become a comedian instead of being miserable here"

The succubi finshed their cigarette before they extended their wings and left while Remus crawled into the bathtub and fell asleep.

No one at the nudist colony said anything to him directly but he could tell that they started to look at him differently. He recognized it immediately because it was the exact same that his fellow succubi used to look at him in Hell. He felt their eyes burning into his back and he knew they could tell he was unable to function properly. Everyone could tell.

People who had offered him a puff of their joint before stopped and everyone spoke in gentler tones to him. Had they had a secret meeting about him?? On the day leading up to the party one of them even asked "Y'know I've heard there's going to be a really pretty uhh moon thingie tomorrow. If maybe you want to stay up outside and watch that"

They said it with a smile but he knew they were just looking for an excuse for him to not go, but of course he still did.

When he stumbled into the kitchen the guy handing out drinks visibly got a look of worry and at first held the tray of shots away from him. But Remus hung around them like a gremlin until they relented and let him drink.

Remus ended up half passed out on a chair in the hallway. The music and echoes of people talking beat through the thin walls and made his head spin. If he focused all of his attention he could wiggle his fingers a little but that was it.

He fell in and out of conciousness and waited for someone to take him, and susprisingly somebody actually did.

"Ro-Ro?" He mumbled.

"Nope"

His head lolled to the side as he got carried up the stairs but slowly recognized the broad shoulders and the still warm sun kissed skin as being Peaches. She carried him into one of the upstairs bedroms and laid him carefully into a bottom bunk and tucked him in.

With his eyes closed he heard her fill a glass of water and put it beside the bed followed by the floor creaking as she turned to leave.

Before suddenly the sound stopped and she stood still for a few hesitant moments followed by a shifting of the bed and she climbed in to sit beside him.

A slight feeling of feeding came over Remus and he relaxed his body to make himself drift off before anything happened.

But the feeding wasn't disgusting.

Peaches leaned forward and simply pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head before backing off.

And it tasted like ripe fruit salad on a hot summer's day. The feeding was as pleasant and filling as when Janus had kissed him.

Remus' eyes shot open and he struggled to sit up "Peach?" He slurred.

She froze as if she had been caught stealing the crown jewels "You- You weren't asleep??!"

"Your kissy?"

"We shouldn't talk about this now! You're drunk and- and if I confess I would want you to remember it! We'll talk more tomorrow okie!?" She hurried to leave the room.

Remus was left with a half filled stomach and a smudged lipgloss stain in his hair.

He had fed.

He could feed in a way he enjoyed on someone who wasn't Janus.

Janus wasn't the piece he was missing.

With his head spinning he laid back down and drew his wings around himself to shut the world out.

-

"I have had a crush on your for uhm a few months now" Peaches covered her face with her hands "I was planning on taking you out on a picnic and I was going to make cute little cookies shaped like chopped off fingers!-"

"That would be cute" Remus agreed.

"But I mucked it up!"

Remus reached out and intertwined his fingers with hers and instantly felt that feeding feeling again "I still think we can have that picnic"

"Really!?"

"Really!"

-

Instead of going to the party that weekend Remus had a picnic. He impressed Peaches by climbing into a tree and catching a bird with his hands and listing every bug species he knew. By the end of it his stomach was stuffed and he had expected to throw half of it up once Peaches asked to be intimate but when the finger cookies ended and the sun went down she just packed the picnic together and asked if he wanted to walk back together.

Remus could feel a migraine coming on so he declined but happily waved her off.

He lit a joint and laid down with his back on the grass and felt the ants crawl across his legs until it tickled. He poked at his stomach before excitedly wiggling his toes around. He had the energy to commit at least like 5 entire crimes.

"She's a human" A voice whispered from behind a tree.

The sounds of bones cracking rang out as a skeletal hand came forward followed by the rest of the stumbling skeleton remains of Roman. Remus started to back away at the sight of his brother's hollowed out cheeks and blaring dark eyes.

"Her life will be over before you can blink and you want to waste her precious time?!" Roman spat out "Just to feed selfishly!? Every second she spends with you she can spend on something that will actually make her happy!"

Remus backed into the cold embrace of Janus who dug his fingers down into his shoulders. His skin had turned ash from loss of blood and the tips of his limbs were blue. There was still blood pouring from the wound in his neck.

"You are going to ruin her life just as you ruined mine" Janus whispered into his ear.

"I haven't even asked her to spend time with me!" Remus threw out as an excuse.

"Good, so she won't care when you leave"

"I like it here!"

"You don't deserve this" Roman said as he bent down to pin Remus to the ground "You left me in Hell! With the manager! I'm ruined now because of you! I'll never be happy again! While all you got was some headaches!"

"You killed me!" Janus snarled "And forced me to live in a body I don't want! No one would ever want to be a demon! But you forced me!"

Remus tried to cover his ears but Janus wrestled his arms back.

"And you can't even respond to Remy and Emile's text messages! You just let them worry! You can't even bother to pretend you're alright! No wonder your brother will never speak to you again"

"You should never have been created. You were just the leftovers of me!"

"The only thing you're able to be is a burden, a nuisance, a liability, a headache, a problem-"

Remus snapped awake as an ant crawled over his face. His hair stuck to his sweaty forehead and his ribs ached from how fast his heart had beaten.

Just to be sure he looked around the woods so there were no Romans or Januses hiding before he ran back to the farm. He stuffed his pockets full of weed and wrote a letter to Peaches explaining that he had been possesed by the devil and had to go to catholic capital to get an ultra exorcism, before quietly slipping out of the window and leaving. In the back of his mind ideas babbled on about how the feeding had worked, if he could go on a date and feed or kiss a stranger at new years. But the front of his mind shut it down. He didn't deserve it.

--

2 years after the breakup.

Remus had no plans left so he just walked along the road going away from the farm. And he kept walking. And walked. And walked. And got a few lifts in exchange for blowjobs that kept him alive. And walked. Until the temperature shifted from sunny to humid to chilly winds.

As a hobby he taught himself how to catch fish with his teeth and started to daydream about ending up in Alaska and becoming neighbors with a family of bears. He would let the baby bears gnaw on his ankles for fun to test out their fangsises and once it turned to winter he would huddle down among the bears, rub his face into their fur, fall asleep and never wake up again.

There would be no humans out in Alaska and no way for people to find him ever again. He could become bear food followed by bear poop and then finally dirt and that dirt would latch itself so far underground that no human being would ever be able to touch him ever again.

Once he ran out of weed to keep his migraines at bay he became unable to walk most days. He just found a nice place on the side of the road to lay down to pretend to be roadkill and every time a passerby stopped to check if he was corpse he would jump up and scare them.

He didn't sleep for fear of seeing Roman or Janus in his dreams again, but he could still feel Roman if faintly which meant he was on Earth somewhere.

-

In exchange for a blowjob Remus had gotten some painkillers, weed and also enough food to last him at least half a day without passing out so instead of pretending to be roadkill again he spent the day walking. Every step he took he pictured a big burly bear to remind himself of his goal and with each step his heart grew warmer until it was glowing in the same way it did when he and Roman were close together.

A car stood on the side of a road at the top of the upcoming hill and for a moment Remus considered sneaking through the woods to get ahead of the car to do his roadkill trick but as he got closer he heard songs from the little mermaid playing through the car's rolled down windows. With horrible taste in music like that he shouldnt be making the poor peoples lives harder he thought.

Remus was not a very smart person which was why it took him until he had reached the top of the hill and got hit by the sweet scent of an Angel that he realized these weren't strangers.

Just as he was about to turn and run the car horn honked "Here I park at the perfect spot to surprise you and you take ages walking like a bitching grandpa!" Roman said as he stepped out of the front seat of the car.

Virgil scooted over and waved at Remus through the open window while Remus backed away.

Remus held his hands and tail up while backing "Okay bro I get that you wanna enact some sweet revenge on me but my energy levels is in the dirt so could you just let me find some quick food and then we can fight to the death and i can let you win"

"Revenge?" Roman took off her heart shaped sunglasses and looked at him "Remus it's June 4th"

"Yeah great day for revenge whatever! Very thematic! Very dramatic!"

"Bro it's our creation-day"

At this point Virgil had gotten out of the car as well and had moved to stand a bit behind Roman with a just as concerned look on his face.

"I get it! Take me out on the same day I was made yeah very cool" Remus blabbered on.

Roman and Virgil shared a look before Ro asked "Genuienly what the hell are you talking about? It's our birthday! I know I didn't come see you last year but I was still working through my shit. But bro-bitch it's a lot harder to hold a grudge when you're no longer miserable"

"You....You sure you're not holding a knife or bomb or something behind your back?"

Remus flinched at first when Roman got close but couldn't help but lean in as she hugged him. He rubbed his cold dirty face against his brother's coat and smeared mud all over it.

"When Emile told me you'd left I assumed you'd joined the black market or started stealing from the louvre or become a graffiti artist, not walking around some backroad in nowhere. Don't tell me this is all you've been doing?" Roman asked while still keeping his hands on Remus' shoulders.

"Nahh. I spent some like some time at this...place. But I'm just....getting really into bears right now....."

"The animal or?"

"Animal"

"Huh"

The air went stale between the three of them which wasn't helped by a lone tractor slowly passing them by. Remus eyed his brother up and down. She still didn't have the same full figure she used to before everything happened but she looked healthier now, like she was capable of opening a jar of pickles on her own again.

Virgil had visibly rubbed off on her because she'd moved on from being inspired by the rococo period to being inspired by the victorian era with dramatic eyeliner and a pin in her hair made to look like a gothic umbrella. The emo looked pretty much the same, his hair had grown a bit longer but that was about it, except for his usual dark color scheme being broken up by a bright red hoodie. At first Remus assumed he had just gotten into the color red before in horror realizing that was most likely one of Roman's hoodies that the angel had taken as his.

"Are you two?" Remus pointed beteween them.

"We're part-time roomates" "We're in a queer platonic thing"

Remus let up into a bastardly little grin "You didn't let me finish! I was uhmm actually going to ask if you're fucking"

Roman didn't dignify him with an answer, instead just smacking him at the back of the head.

She sniffed in the air "Are you...high?"

"I don't even have my wings out bro, How could I be high up"

She shifted her jaw to give him a look of annoyance before shaking her head and turning around "I can't do this. Virgey let's go" She started to walk away "I was just coming to say happy birthday anyway!"

Virgil seemed confused at the very sudden shift. He grabbed Roman by the wrist and whispered to her "What's going on?"

"He always did- does this! Just wrecks himself because he has to feed and he always, always, expected me to come take care of him and clean him up and literally clean up his mess and I am not doing that again!"

"Okay" Virgil knew that being reminded of his life in Hell was triggering for Roman but he could also tell that Remus shouldn't be left alone to his own devices right now "Okay. But I want to talk to him too. You go to your happy mindplace princey and give me like five minutes"

"More like my frustrated mindplace" Roman muttered.

"No" Virgil poked him at the temple "Your happy one"

Roman couldn't say no when Virgil made that grumpy face of his so she rolled her eyes before waving her hand "I'll be over there"

"Sure"

"He isn't storing a massive brother killing sword in his car is he?" Remus asked as Virgil came over.

"No, that he keeps at the apartment"

The angel casually wrapped one of his wings around Remus' back to shuffle him over to the car. Virgil sat down crosslegged on the hood of the car and tapped on the space beside him.

Remus wrought his tail between his hands while his eyes nervously flickered between Virgil and his brother "How's she doing?"

"He's doing better" The angel pointed to Roman who had hunched down in the woods beside the road and was smacking a stick around "Look he's probably imagining he's beating you in a knightly duel right now to get his anger out"

"Yeah that sounds like something he'd do"

"Dude she was like really looking forward to seeing you again, and like nervous but that's just because you're both bloody wrecks"

"She's only a wreck 'cause of me" Remus mumbled.

"If he isn't mad at you the only person you're helping by making yourself miserable is you" Virgil rolled one of the longer strands of his hair around his fingers "I was doing the same. Making myself sad and shitty all the time because I thought that was gonna make it up to Jannie somehow but Jannie is who knows where! On the other side of the bloody earth probably, so the only one me being shitty impacts is me and like at some points it just becomes an excuse doesn't it? Like yeah now I can spend all my time self pitying and not doing anything 'cause of this other person and there's totally nothing I can do about it"

"Sounds about right"

"No! It's not right"

"Sure, whatever you say Angel"

It turned quiet for a while and Remus noticed that Virgil had sewn patches onto the hoodie. Vampire bats, emo bands and witchy cats all mixed together. There was also a pride flag. It was tiny, but a pride flag nonetheless.

"Have you heard anything from...Y'know?" Remus couldn't hold himself from asking any longer.

Virgil visibly tensed up a little just thinking about Janus "Well I haven't...but Roman hasn't been able to keep it a secret that Jannie has called her"

Remus jumped in his seat "WHAT?!"

"He just wanted to check how I was doing, and then after you two broke up I know he called Roman about it, warned you might not be doing good. And like Ro was still kinda bitter about you but he would have run out to get you if Emi and Remy hadn't offered to do it first. So..."

"Nothing more?? Do we know where he lives? Where he is-"

"He doesn't want to be contacted by us and you know that"

Remus wilted into a sad sack but nodded "Yeah I know"

"But clearly there's still some care there, innit? I mean I guess...I guess just knowing he cared enough to call Ro is enough.." Virgil stared down at the ground and both of them knew the other knew that they desperately just wanted Janus to reach out again. "But uh" Virgil fake coughed "How're you doing?"

"I am having suicidal tendencies associated with bears" Remus blurted out.

Virgil's pushed his bangs aside to show how wide his eyes were "Uhm...wow...okay. Like serious?"

He shrugged "Seriousness not something I do"

"Uh-huh"

"Also I've just been walking for like a month now"

"Where?"

"To the bears!"

"You- you're homeless?"

"My home is with the bears-"

"Fuck it's not dude"

Once he started to spill he couldn't stop "Also I'm not high just cause of the feeding. I've been having sucky migraines ever since the manager kicked my ass- you werent there but it happened right before Ro stabbed him- and I was close to killing people or chewing off my fingers but I just smoked some instead"

A second ticked by as Virgil visibly thought before his eyes went even wider "FOR TWO YEARS!?"

"Well they're not like constant-"

"Bro don't give me that bullshit. Just like Jannie telling me his back pain isn't constant. so he didn't need a cane. Wait here"

"Okey dokey emo daddy"

Virgil flew over to Roman and in a hushed voice explained the situation. Remus couldn't hear it but he could tell by the fact that every time Roman looked over to him her expression had turned more and more alarmed. In return Remus made silly faces at her.

"You could've led with being homeless you brainless bacteria" Roman said as he and Virgil came back. "You're coming with us"

"Coming with you two?! I thought you two could make the other come all fine without my help!"

"Bro shut up"

In response Remus made fart noises. Roman whacked him over the head again before pushing him into the backseat of the car. He had to be reminded thrice before he put his seatbelt on and as soon as he had sat down his legs started to feel all gooey.

As the car began to drive he watched the backs of Roman and Virgil and imagined that it was something similar to this that Janus must have seen before the car crash happened.

A playlist of disney I want songs droned on until an alarm on Virgil's phone went off "30 minutes gone by. My time to choose the music"

His hand was halfway to the speaker when Roman nudged his finger "Nu-huh! It's my biiirrtthh-creeaation-daayy. I choose the music"

She took Virgil's hand and pressed a kiss to the top of his wrist "Eyes on the road princey"

"I have two eyes"

"And I have one fear of crashing"

Roman pressed another quick smooch to his skin before letting go, he instead casually put his hand on the side of Virgil's thigh.

The first annual winner of the Patton prize in non human ingenuity had been the demon that figured out that the doors connecting Hell and Heaven to Earth could be built wider and thus let cars go through into Hell, make a U turn and drive out of any garage they wanted to on Earth. Therefore the drive that would have otherwise taken hours only took 45 minutes before Roman stopped outside Virgil's apartment. Before the angel stepped out of the car Ro took his hand.

"Hey I had that Chicago revival I was going to today remember? I'll come sleep over though"

Virgil pressed his thumb down against Roman's warm skin "You've been talking bout your birthday Chiacago show for like a month. I remember"

"Coolio. I'll buy cake, okay bro?" She sent a smile to Remus who did a tired thumbs up before the car rolled away.

Virgil didn't allow Remus inside until he had water hosed himself. An entire pinecone came out of his hair and at least 4 layers of dirt dislocated from his skin.

The apartment hadn't started off as Virgil's but had instead been shared between him and Roman as they lived together but over the last year Roman had slowly tried to get back to the nomadic lifestyle that she preferred. At first she would only be gone for a day at a time but since Virgil had never lived alone even those short bursts of time made him have panic attacks, so Ro stayed with him until he adopted Beetle.

Beetle (short for beetlejuice) ran up to Virgil as soon as he opened the door, her long ears flapping and tail waging. She didn't jump up on him but she did nudge her snoot against his hand.

"I didn't know you had a third in your relationship" Remus blurted out without thinking.

"Gross"

The apartment was medium sized with the entrance being directly tied to the living room which looked exactly like one would imagine a mix of Roman and Virgil would look. It was connected to a kitchen area, the bathroom and two separate bedrooms. Near the couch laid an extravagant dog bed and bowls for food and water, all three of which were visibly the most expensive things in the room.

Beetle seemed watch Virgil's reaction to Remus being there before deciding that the stranger was chill and allowed to be here. So she walked back to her doggy bed and her bone. She was a therapy dog trained to patients with debilitating anxiety. Virgil still had trouble with living alone for more than a week at a time and felt guilty for tying Roman down like he did (despite the demon assuring him that she enjoyed the domestic down time). Having Beetle around at least made it possible for him to leave the house without the fear of being completely alone in case he had a panic attack.

Remus immediate reaction was to crabwalk over to the dog and growl at her in an attempt to speak Dog but Virgil pulled him away by his tail "Dont harass her or I'll kick you out"

"If I behave nicey can I also get bone?" Remus fluttered his eyelashes.

"No"

"Can I get boned?"

"No!"

Remus splat down onto the floor and kicked his legs around so that he went in a circle "Then what can I do???!?!??!? AUUGHGHGHHG MISERY! BOREDOM! DISTRESS! OTHER WORDS!!" Before suddenly sitting straight up again "So why you not go with Ro on the Chimamgo thingie?"

"My social battery needs to charge for an event like that and besides I wouldn't leave you alone in my home with my Beetle"

"Fair" Remus picked at his mustache "But it's not only that innit?" He mimicked his accent.

Virgil sighed but conceded "Janus would have loved seeing a Chiacago revival"

"Yeahhh, there it is. Come here middle sized boy" Remus waved his arms around to welcome him into a hug but Virgil turned directly away from him and just pointed to one of the bedroom doors instead.

"You can stay in there. It's Roman's room but he doesn't sleep so you should be able to use it as well.......And I understand you're in pain but please go outside when you smoke, okay? Weed makes me anxious just thinking about and I don't want the smell stuck in the walls. If you need money for it I'm sure Ro will give you some"

"Hey already throwing me into my own room! I haven't even had time to go thru the apartment and make sure it's suitable for Roman! I haven't even gotten time to interrogate on you on whether you serve my bro!"

Virgil rolled his eyes "Just take the room and stop joking around please"

"Okey dokey pale-guy"

Opening the door made a cloud of Ro's perfume explode into Remus face which caused his eyes to water. There was a conspiracy board on one of the walls with printed out pictures of every Disney film and red string connecting them. The demon looked to Virgil who shrugged and said

"He needs something to do when he's here. He's not a homebody like me"

Remus bounced on the bed to test it out and it was indeed pretty much unused. There was a chafflon in the room so that must be where Roman did his dramatics. The succubi sat down froglegged on the edge of the bed and patted his lap.

"Wanna close our eyes and pretend the other is Jannie while kithing?" He asked with a toothy smile, half eyeing Virgil for a reaction and half serious.

"Some of us are trying to move on"

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Reeeaaalllyyy?"

"I am remembering why I dislike you" Virgil rolled his eyes before glaring at Remus in his pitiful state, trembling slightly from hunger "And also dude I am quite sure if I were to sit in your lap-"

"My penith would break in two"

"Something like that" Virgil sat down on the bed "So you're sitting in mine"

-

One make out session later Remus rolled over onto his back and tapped at his full tummy while humming. Virgil used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe away any saliva stains and checked his breathe so it didn't smell like weed. He pulled his hoodie up to hide any and all hickeys.

His brain fired up it's usual overthinking "You know you and your brother aren't similar like at all. I just- What I'm saying is that if someone mistook you two they would have to do it intentionally. Maybe when I met Ro and you were both starving and miserable and not taking care of yourselves I could maybe get mixing you up but now? You look so different! Like I just wanted to sorta y'know just make sure you knew I'm not kissing you because of Ro. I am like attracted to you two in very different ways for very different reasons"

As Virgil had been babbling Remus hadn't been listening. His eyes had stagnated on the printed out picture of Ariel on the wall until he suddenly rapidly blinked back to reality with his expression hardening.

"Sssooo" Remus kicked his legs in the air "Which twin is the better kisser?"

Virgil glared at him "Dude I'm not even dignifying you with an answer. Were you not list-"

The succubi crawled a little closer to him and nibbled at his arm "What, you don't want some twin on twin action? Some threesome stuff? No sha-"

"Dude honestly I get that you got a weird sense of humor but I don't get humor in this" Virgil replied while forcing him off "I think this is some weird type of self harm you're doing because Ro has let me know how much you both hate that whole topic of uhh like twin incest kink stuff, and I don't like you dragging me into it"

"You admit to wanting to die by bear 1 time and suddenly bitches accuse you of self harming!"

"That 1 time was like 2 hours ago!!"

Remus rolled his eyes and poked his toe into Virgil's side "Romans not here. We can do something more than kissing"

"You're making me uncomfortable dude"

The succubi just pushed closer "Well maybe you shoulda left me by the road then"

Virgil stood up from the bed with his face turning slightly red "I'm- Dude I don't get what you're doing but I'm just gonna leave the room now-"

"Then I'm gonna follow you into the next room"

"Not funny"

"I think very funny. You gonna have to kick me out if you want to stop"

Virgil squinted "Is this pay-back for the time I kissed you? I'm sorry but you can stop being weird now"

Bettle pushed into the room and started to walk circles around Virgil's leg and even stood up on her backlegs to push her paws against his waist.

"Thanks Bebe" Virgil mumbled while patting her on the head but she kept pushing her paws into his legs until he sat down on the floor.

She let out a low but serious growl towards Remus.

"Didn't know she was a guard dog"

"She's not, but she can tell when my heartbeat raises"

Remus shriveled up on the bed. He'd wanted to annoy Virgil so he would kick him out, not elicit genuine anxiety responses "Sorry"

"It's fine or whatever" Virgil patted Beetle who had laid herself across his legs to prevent him from getting up until his heartrate was back to normal "I was kinda expecting something like this when I let you come over"

"Then why did you?"

Virgil shrugged "Because you're a strange fucked up thing but you still don't deserve what you give yourse-"

The front door slammed open which made Virgil jump and Beetle stand up at first in a tense stance before she sniffed in the air. In a second she practically turned into a big puppy as she happily barked (without leaving Virgil's side). Roman entered the room in such a quick pase that he slid across the floor and hit the wall.

"GUYS- Oh hi Beetle. Pretty girrrrll. Yess you arreee. Pretty princess" He let her lick his palms "GUYS YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHO I JUST MET AT THE CHICAGO REVIVAL"

"Lucifer Satan" "One of the many many many guys you know"

"NO!- Well Yes I did met one of the guys I know- BUT" She did a dramatic pause and in that dramatic pause she noticed the situation "wait why are you on the floor" She quinted "Those marks on your neck aren't from me"

Remus held his hands up "You caught me. I am stealing your part-time roomate"

"Okay well I don't care if you kiss him but I do know what Virgil being on the floor means so" Roman put Remus in a headlock and forcefully tidied up his hair.

"NOOOO not my beautiful hair messsss!"

"That's what you get bitch-bro"

Virgil waved his arms to get their attention "Who did you meet? Don't leave us hanging here"

"Oh" Roman gave Remus a final sibling smack before letting go "I met Janus"

Beetle instantly snuggled up against Virgil as his face tensed up so hard that his teeth gritted together "He does love Chicago"

"DiD he Talk to you???" Remus gasped it out so quick he stumbled over the words.

"He did. He wished me a happy birthday..when I told him it was my birthday. He had been planning on sending me a letter anyway so he- Well he wrote it quickly and gave it to me" Roman took out a folded note from her shirtpocket and handed it to Remus "This is for you"

"Did he say where he lives???"

"Shut up and read it bro"

"All you two do is tell me to shut up, you're so mean" He muttered while taking the letter.

Remus clung to the note and held it to his face to catch any linger of Janus' scent but there were none. While he read Roman sat down next to Virgil and lightly wrapped his tail around the angel's back and pushed him closer so he could lay his head on Ro's shoulder if he wanted to.

"He asked how you were doing so I told him about Beetle" Roman whispered to him "He seemed happy to hear you are doing better"

"Am I doing better?"

"You are" Roman stroked his hand against the side of Virgil's face "I promise you that"

Virgil let her wipe a lone tear away from his cheek "And how was he?"

"He's adopted a snake and is trying to learn sign language"

The angel smiled faintly "He's wanted to name his first snake Virginia for a while now. Partially because it's sorta similar to my name. It would be his tiny lil snake Virge"

Roman held him closer "Well I for one would lovvvee to have my own lil snake Virge, if Snakes weren't creepy crawlies obviously"

-

The note went as follows:

Happy Birthday Remus. I think we are both older than we thought we would live to be and isn't that lovely

I was back in England recently to see the national threatres version of Crave by Sarah Kane. It reminded me of you, maybe not the writing itself but the show. I think you would enjoy it

This is not an invite to contact me.

A ticket to the show had been taped to the inside of the note.

A week letter Roman and Virgil dropped Remus off outside the theatre. It had been a quiet week of Remus mostly smoking weed in a nearby park. The times he was in the apartment he spent either sleeping or watching movies on his phone. Every time Virgil or Roman tried to speak to him he threw out every gross joke he could think of until they backed off.

Still he had (in the middle of a high) asked Ro if he wanted to see the play alongside him but she had "Seen Blasted by the same playwright and that was enough for me!". She and Virgil would go have take out and eat it on a nice not noticeable rooftop somewhere. Dinner for Virgil and then dinner for her.

Remus still stupidly held onto the hope of Janus showing up at the show. Standing in the lobby waiting for him or sitting in the crowd, but nothing happened. The show started without any trace of him.

The demon did not like it at first or more accurately he didn't understand it. He still had a hard time keeping up with English when it was more than just a one on one conversation so a play without subtitles and with sophisticated metaphors?? It all went right over his head and up into the atmosphere.

But then the show went on and though the main plot bored him the scenes with the side characters pulled him in. As a man got first his tongue removed, then his arms and lastly his legs Remus became enthralled by how they had done it right in front of him. Things he'd only seen humans do on film before were suddenly just meters away from him.

Flowers grew up from the stage, the show ended and Remus clapped, hottered and hollered like crazy even as the people beside him sideyeed him. The audience left but Remus stayed in his seat with his heart fizzing and popping like bubbles.

Janus had wanted him to see this.

A shudder rang up his back and made him shiver. Remus looked over to his left and expected to see an emaciated Roman or an injured Janus, maybe even a pissed off Virgil.

But as he turned all he saw sitting in the seat next to him was another Remus. A mirror image with his legs rudely splayed onto the seats in front of him and his arms behind his back to make the bones crack. He knew Roman and Janus were doing better. There was no one left to hold him back except for him.

"Great time to run out the door and disappear. Run to the bears" The other Remus spoke in their native language.

"...Feeding off of Virgil is gross but I like kissing him...it's manageable" Remus mumbled back in English "We feed off of Peaches too....Because she liked us....We could-"

Remus slammed his hand down "What we should do is find a sadistic daddy and become a slave. Think about it! We get cut with knives! Whipped probably! Choked! Spat on! And free consistent food! What more could you want!"

"I can-"

"WHAT MORE DO YOU DESERVE?!" It was so loud it reverberated through Remus' skull.

Remus moved his hands up through his hair and gripped onto the bottoms of his horns as his chest heaved up and down, up and down.

"Yeah they're all Trying to be happy. Trying to do better. But if it weren't for you they wouldnt even need to Try! You Ruie-"

"I'M BORED OF IT! IT'S JUST THE SAME PAIN VOER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! IM SICK OF IT! I WANT NEW PAIN AT LEAST! NO MORE BORING FUCKING SEX PAIN, NO MORE BEING SPAT ON FOR 20 YEARS! NOT EVEN ANY WHIPS! IM SICK OF IT! ITS BORING! ITS BORING! ITS BORING!!" Remus yelled.

The yells stuck to the other Remus and made his frail figure start to crumble.

"THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE FELT EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING IN YEARS! ACTUAL FUCKING YEARS! I FUCKED PEACHES OVER! I'VE GHOSTED REMY AND EMILE! I CREEPED VIRGIL OUT! THIS RUNNING AWAY THING ISNT WORKING! IM STILL HURTING EVERYONE! AND- And I haven't felt emotions this strong since Janus left"

Remus turned to look to his left but the seatings were empty. The lights in the theatre were dimming and the hallway outside had quieted.

He left the theatre and was met with Roman and Virgil waiting for him in the parking lot.

"How was the show snothead?" Roman asked but she soon let up into a shocked gasp as Remus hugged her. She didn't have time to hug him back because he had already backed away.

"You don't happen to know any guys who got contacts within theatre and stuff do you? Who can teach how to do make up and gorey details and special effects?"

Roman shone up and her horns sparkled bright "That play must have been marvelous huh? I think I just might know the perfect guys!"

-----

5 Years after the breakup

"-And I want to thank every single demon, Angel and human here for coming and supporting the opening of the Hellhound sanctuary!" Patton concluded his speech and the crowd roared into applause which made him blush with pride.

Logan stood beside him on the makeshift stage along with Nico the third and a few of the hellpuppies from her recent litter. Behind them acres of grassy plains shaded by trees dragged out, perfect for dozens of paws to run around in. Along with the newly built cottage that belonged to the demon couple. A lot of hellhounds had recently been abandoned whether that be because their owners had moved to Earth or because they had been used by Manager's who now served reformatory sentences.

Someone had to do something about the poor doggy issue! Patton could hardly imagine a better way to live out his life than surronded by bundles of doggies. Logan could imagine funner hobbies but calculating and organising the amount of food and other logistics needed to take care of so many hounds were definitely in his top 10 of funnest hobbies.

Patton squinted when he got off the stage "I hink I see Remus!" He waved his arms around and dashed through the mingling crowd while Logan did the sensible thing and flew slightly over the crowd "REMUS!! REMUS!! LOOKIE! ITS ME! PATTON!"

"Uhm. Hi daddio" Remus responded with the adequate level of awkwardness deserved for a guy who'd been nothing but a spooky myth for a lifetime and an acquaintance at best for 5 years.

Next to Remus was an Angel who had casually looped his arm around the demon's shoulders.

"Patton meet boyfriend. Boyfriend meet Patton" Remus motioned between them.

The older demon gasped and covered his mouth at the sight of young love "Does Boyfriend have a name?"

"I haven't decided on one yet. Guardian Angels were only given numbers yknow. Right now im trying out Eunice"

"Oh, well hello Eunice" Patton cleared his throat before posing with his finger pushing his glasses up "Either of you notice anything...special?"

"......." "....You smell like dog poop"

"Maybe so BUT that isn't it!" Patton held up his glasses "They're real now! No more fake glasses for me, no sir!"

"What, did your eyes start sucking?"

"Yep!"

"It comes with aging" Logan explained "I could explain the science behind it-"

"I'm good blue daddy"

"Yep! I'm the first succubi to live long enough to need glasses" Patton did happy tippy taps "Can't wait to get more wrinkles and saggy skin!!"

"Uhh congrats?" "Happy aging" Eunice and Remus replied.

"He's going around telling everyone" Was the last thing Logan said before getting dragged away by Patton to go tell someone else.

"Do we wanna leave ooooorrr? We just came 'cause you owed them one right?" Eunice asked.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna check if some dudes I know are here. Remy and Emi y'know"

"Oki babe" Eunice kissed him on the cheek before Remus ran through the crowd until he found Emile and Remy.

"BIATCHES!!" He yelled and knocked his tail on Remy's shoulder.

"GIRLIE!"

"REM-BEM!"

The three of them met in a grouphug and jumped around in a happy snuggly circle for a bit. Remus nuzzled his face up between Emile's soft cheek and Remy's leather jacket. The conversation they had wasn't anything special, just catching up. Remy exchanged the latest gossip for Remus' latest love adventures.

"So girl How long Eunice been around?"

"Two months!"

"Wowza"

Remy and Emile glanced to each other before both said at the same time "I'm betting liikkke 5 dollars on it lasting only anotha month" "I'm betting on it continuing for another 2 months!"

Remus pinched Emile's cheeks "Always the optimist. That's why you're broke"

"One of them must have lasted more than 2 months right? Right???" Emile asked.

"Well there was briefly Peaches"

Who Remus had returned to to apologize and who had gone on another date with him but soon after broke it off with him simply because she couldn't trust him again after he had suddenly left.

"Then that ace angel for like a few weeks"

They'd broken up once the Angel saw Remus eat a moldy piece of bread from a public bench and got so disgusted he couldn't kiss him again.

"Then the really niceys demon"

Who had been indeed very nice but not ace and while Remus got to feed off of them in the way he liked most of the time he also went along with the sex stuff. It had been the demon who broke it off because they noticed he didn't like it and while they enjoyed his company they were seeking a relationship that included intimacy.

"Then the one we don't talk about" Remy added in.

"Yeaaahhh"

Who Remus met after relapsing into self harm and had therefore sought out someone with violent kinks who didn't respect boundaries and immediately moved in with them. He'd gotten strangled half to death a few dozen times and reminded himself he deserved it because he'd done the same thing to Janus. He left after his arm had gotten fractured in three different places during a session and his migraines had gotten so bad that they were constant. He'd crashed at Remy and Emile's place where the three of them were able to connect again as friends.

"And the medley of demons you dated for like a week at best"

Remus nodded "Is sad they couldn't take hearing me talk about the gore puke dolls triology because I really liked some of them"

"Oh but you're still together with Virgil!" Emile exclaimed.

"No no! We're not dating! We just kiss recreationally which is nice because he knows to stop when I start feeding off of it! In the non fun way y'know"

Emile grimaced because he didn't quite get it but he nodded nonetheless.

"Let's just hope Eunice goes better. And that uhhh you dont like start discussing the uh gore puke doll things to him"

As the conversation ebbed towards an end Emile suddenly asked "Rem-bem when was the last time you visited Hell?"

"Haven't been since...It all happened"

He smiled "I think you should go, just a lil visit"

"Big agree girl"

-

2 weeks later Emile gave 5 dollars to Remy because Eunice had decided on using the name Janice which led to a messy but ultimately amicable breakup.

Newly single Remus thought What the Hell and went to Hell. He didnt have to say a code to open the door, all it took was laying his hand on the doorknob and it swung open. The light shone warm and inviting.

"Excuse me" An Angel pushed past him through the door. They carried a boquette of roses and a nervous smile on their face.

The entrance to the succubi quarters were no longer baren and white. Instead there were bicycles lined up near the doors along with a large map that showcased the entire quarters. The walls were a bright red with firestreakds at the bottom but he could see that further down the hallway it shifted to orange.

The biggest thing was the huge corkboard plastered on the wall which held dozens upon dozens of posters and ads for events coming up. Just at a quick glance Remus saw an open invite to the Gardening club located in the Envy quarters, a poll deciding which color to make Wall #3631 and photo of where the wall was located and a poster thanking people for helping someone find their missing Hellhound.

As he looked around a group of demons dressed as painters followed by another group dressed as builders walked past. He got curious enough to want to follow but a specific poster caught his attention and his breathe caught in his throat.

"What if you are an Asexual Succubus? No need to panic! Come to the Monthly meeting for all asexual, aromantic or aroace succubi!

Free Coffee & Juice!

Location: T-Hall Time: 17:30 - 20"

Along with the texts were flags similar to the human ones but the color schemes were different since they after all were not human.

The meeting was going to be today.

Like in a daze Remus grabbed one of the paper maps and started walking towards the former meeting room now renamed T-Hall. As he walked he pasted the painter demons making use of their wings to paint one of the walls into a vibrant moss green and soon after passed the builders working on making one of the former cramped sleeping halls into separate apartments.

He passed newly mounted libraries, gardens and even a few storefronts. There was a greed demon selling second hand clothing, a bakery run by gluttonous demons and a pride demon selling self sewn clothing. He passed a gym run by wrath demons and noticed that the pool rooms had signs over the doorframes now. "Hot sauna" "Nudist pool" "Pool/showers(Sex not allowed)" "Pool/Showers (Sex allowed"

Finally he got to the T-Hall and opened the doors that used to lead to the manager but now instead led into....just a normal room. The walls had been painted light blue and chairs had been arranged into a large circle. There were already 50 or so succubi in the room, and one in particular was swarmed by demons trying to talk to them. He guessed that was the event organizer. There was even a manager sitting on one of the chairs who was busy trying to make themself as small as possible, all four arms tucked to their sides and face red.

Remus took a seat near the exit and waited until the meeting started.

"Wow I think this an attendance record! Do we have any newcomers here?"

A few in the crowd raised their tails and Remus did too.

"Great! Well if any of you are new to your identities you can stay behind after we've wrapped if y'all need help with how to feed. Aside from the obvious things like asexual succubi feeding off of the lust for love and aroace succubi feeding off of the lust for companionship. But yes I thought we could start today's meeting with-"

The demon continuing but Remus had stopped listening.

It had been said so casually. Feeding off of Love. Janus' love, Peaches' love, the sweet kisses from people he'd just met while the first sparks flew. It made sense now that he heard it. It felt obvious even.

Maybe if he had ever bothered to talk to humans before he met Janus he could have even figured it out earlier.

He shook his head. This wasn't the time to claw at himself for past mistakes. He was surronded by a room of people who had most likely done similar mistakes.

The words repeated over and over in his thoughts. With the ease it had been said. Feeding off of love. Like it was nothing. Like it was just a thing that happened.

Remus moved his tail tightly around himself, put his head in his hands and let himself cry for the first time in years. A stranger that sat near him put their hand on his shoulder and another handed him a tissue to blow his nose.

-------

7 years after the breakup

The sixth annual winner of the Patton prize for non human ingenuity had been an Angel who had figured out how to harness Guardian Angel's slight healing ability into a painkiller. The result was a painkiller that was about triple as strong as a human made one. Remus had happily been one of the guineapigs it was tested out on and it was near finalization. He had been given a prescription ahead of the general population and so far it kept the amount of days he spent agonizing in migraine pain down to one day a month. He still wore sunglasses every time the sun stood high, noise cancelling headphones in crowded places and his apartment had to have special dim lights installed but his condition was liveable now. Manageable even.

There had been an ad in the newspaper for a speed-dating brunch so he scurried over to it and got himself a nice big feast before work in the evening.

He spent the inbetween hours between feeding and work to practice the homework he'd gotten from his weekly stunt class which mainly meant he had an excuse to ram himself into a wall for fun.

Finally it got time for work and he felt his tail start to wag as soon as he got close to the theatre. It was a middle sized one but Virgil had promised to come watch since it was the premiere. Roman didn't have time this week but she promised she would come see as soon as she could...even if the play was a bit too horror-y for her liking.

He rehearsed with the actor playing Katurian one last time on how much weight he should put into his arms to make the strangulation look real without hurting his fellow actor. Before throwing a few lit matches into the prop trashcan to make sure it was safe to use on stage.

The demon joined hands with the rest of the backstage crew and nervously hopped around in one big circle as the theatre started to fill with the noises of the audience.

While he wasn't the main make up artist he was the one in charge of adding any and all fake injuries, prosthetics and gorey bits but since the first act didn't have any torture scenes he could chill out backstage for the first 20 minutes and make sure the actor playing Michal's bruising was as realistic as possible.

Remus sat and listened to every gasp or cry of horror that came from the audience with a smile.

In the short interval he sneaked a peek from between the curtains out into the audience. Since Virgil always chose the seats in the darkest corners in the back of the room he couldn't catch sight of the Angel but he could smell him.

He let his eyes wander of the rest of the crowd. Groups in their mid-twenties and old culture ladies mixed with teens who'd heard it was a horror play.

And then there in the front row sat Janus.

He was sipping on a glass of wine he'd bought from the bar and was talking to a man in the seat next to him. He was leaning close enough to infer that the man wasn't a stranger.

Remus heart caught in his throat. His name hadn't been anywhere on the posters so Janus couldn't have known he would be here, right?

The man looked nothing like Remus. Could it be a date? Did Virgil know he was here?

"Hey. Make ups waiting" One of the crewmembers said while tapping Remus on the shoulder.

The demon shook himself off but it only lead to him zoning out. He let his muscle memory take over for the rest of the show. Even when the actor playing Michal hugged him as he got off the stage Remus couldn't fully feel it. All he could think about was how his name was in the credits on the playbill. If Janus read it...

Would Janus even want him to go up and talk to him?

The show ended and the actors bowed for their applause. Remus got shuffled along with the rest of the crew out into the lobby where the actors were busy shaking hands with people. As soon as he got the chance he sneaked off to press himself close to a wall to hide.

He saw the man Janus had been talking with walking up to one of the actors but didn't catch any glimpse of Ja-

"Hey" Janus slid into his view.

Remus didn't just jump. His wings extended and he did a full aerial loop before coming back down to the ground. With his eyes wide and heart racing he looked at Janus.

"Hi. Hi. Hello. You- You are here. And right as we speak a hurricane is probably killing people somewhere out in the world" Remus blurted out.

Janus was still just as beautiful as the last time he'd seen him. He wore a pretty purple silken skirt and a gold button up that matched his golden horns and scars. He had a cane that he leaned on which had tiny snakes engraved into the wood and his hair had been tied back into two afro puffs.

There was a wrinkle next to his mouth left from either laughing or smirking, maybe both.

"I saw your name" Janus said while holding up the playbill.

"Yeahhh. It's like my uhhh 12th show"

"Next will be lucky number 13 then"

"HAH! YEAH! Hope a piano lands on my head! Kills me instantly! Splatter ALL over the stage!"

Janus smiled "I liked the show"

"Well I didn't write it"

"No way!?! I thought for sure you must have!" Janus snarked before chuckling to himself.

Remus noticed that all four of Janus' hands gesticulated when he talked, well except for the one leaning on the cane. And his tail moved every now and then to smooth out his skirt. Being a demon looked so natural to him nowadays.

"Hehe yeaah I just did some of the makeup and special effects and stuff Oh and also I showed the actor how to put the pillow over the other guys face without hurting him!"

Janus' expression twitched into a bit of a grimace "Oh because you have such experience with using pillows as a method of strangulation. I see"

Remus wanted to throw himself into a cementmaker and become a part of the pavement.

"Well anyway, It was nice seeing you darling" Janus moved one of his hands to squeeze Remus' arm but as soon as he did his mouth swung open and he squeezed again "You have muscles now!?"

Remus glanced down at himself and then back up. He had to wear black button ups and full lenght pants as part of the crew waredrob which hid his figure "Yep. Guess I do. Turns out my natural body is actually a lot closer to Roman's and like wider. Stronger y'know"

"Wooow. Who would have ever thought that malnurition did not make a body healthy" Janus pressed in a last squeeze before keeping his hands to himself. It nearly looked like he was blushing.

"The working out also helps. I'm training to be one of them stunt dudes so lotsa running around and throwing heavy shit"

"I bet you do huh. Bet you do. All sweaty and muscly and stuff" Janus looked down into the floor and scratched at his head before looking up again. He seemed a bit lost in thought, or maybe more accurately lost in imagination.

"So were you with a friend or?" Remus interrupted his daydream session.

Janus' normal cold expression returned "Actually Remus I have no obligation to tell you about any of my relationships, and I won't"

"..."

"I hope your 13th show goes well too, genuinely"

Janus turned to leave but Remus exclaimed "WAIt! Wait! Virgil's here! Just- Y'know in case you wanna-"

"Thanks...But I'm not ready"

"Yeah that's- That's- I hope you do good too. And don't get eaten by Alligators or set on fire or anything"

"I would survive it either way" Janus walked away and Remus was left reeling.

After catching his breathe Remus went outside to find Virgil sitting on the side of the stairs leading up to the threatre. Beetle was letting him rest his head against her soft fur which usually meant she had just calmed him down from a panic attck.

"You seen a ghost or something" Remus tried to joke.

"I saw him" Virgil mumbled back "And I froze. Beetle dragged me outside when I started hyperventilating. I thought I'd moved on but just seeing him..."

"He talked to me" Remus said as he sat down next to him "He said he wasn't ready to talk to you either. Don't think it's just you who reacts strongly to the other. But he didn't say he didn't wanna talk to you, just not right now. Do you wanna?"

"Of cou-" Virgil bit his tongue and hesitated before asking "What did he say to you?"

"Oh y'know just that he never got over me and is madly in love with me and all that"

It got a sligtl smile from Virgil which was all Remus wanted.

"Your show was good by the way. Sorry Jan kinda upstaged it just by existing"

"That's his talent"

"Truly"

Remus bumped his shoulder against Virgil's "You forgot somethig"

"Right" Virgil cupped his face "Congrats on the show" And kissed him sweetly.

---------

9 years after the breakup

Remus fell in love again. It lasted for nearly an entire year this time. He and his partner had even started to discuss moving in together. They were both ace as well. But his partner wanted to move back to Hell but Hell had never been home for Remus nor would it ever be. Besides he was happy with his job at the theatre and thought it could last him another 10 years until someone noticed he wasn't aging. Maybe even 15 years if he dyed the tip of his hair grey.

They broke up.

Remus took a week away from work to stay at Virgil's place. The angel even let him sleep in one of his hoodies, and Remy spent hours on the phone with him just letting him rant until his fists didn't have the urge to tear his own hair out anymore. He just had to keep retelling himself that losing one person that loved him didn't mean that there weren't others who did.

----------

10 years after the breakup

There wasn't anything special about that day, not even anything peculiar. Not when it started at least.

Remus had gotten his first role in a human movie! It was an indie horror movie filmed near his apartment. He was going to play a zombie and do most of the stunt work. He wasn't an actor but he could froth at the mouth and spit out fake blood. Real blood too!

He had contributed to a few demon made movies before. The biggest genre within demon cinema right now was "human dramas" so most of what he'd helped with was painting demon's horns and tails green as to make them disappear with green screen.

But the shooting of the film was still a few weeks away and therefore for now all he could do was train his body for it. Roman had kept insisting that yoga would be good if he wanted his body loose enough to look like a rotting corpse running around and Remus had finally given in. Roman took him to a scenic mountain and brought yoga mats for the both of them.

"Just imagine your leaning down to reach for your sword!!" She exclaimed while doing a forward fold.

"WHO THE HELL PICKS UP THEIR SWORD THIS WAY!?!?"

"aLRIGHT And now imagine your with your lover but OH No! Evil vampires crash in through the door and you have to swiftly go into action!" Roman continued as she pulled herself into a firefly pose.

"WHAT THE FUCK???"

"And This is when you have to kick someoone in the face!" Roman did a flying crow pose.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY BONES???"

One of the mountain goats started to eat Remus' hair which made him fall over and mercifully Roman thought that was enough for today.

"I do feel more like a Zombie now yeah" Remus muttered while laying with his back on the soft grass.

"Told you so" Roman poked her toe into his rib which made him try and bite at her foot. It just ended with them wrestling which Remus in the end won by putting his nasty fingers up her nostrils.

They hugged and said goodbye for now. Roman was taking Virgil (and the newly turned Hellhound Beetle) to see a movie. Obviously she had pre checked so that the showing was only half sold out because Virgil still couldn't enter a packed cinema without panicking. It was a big step up from ten years ago when he couldn't go to a cinema at all.

Remus had to make dinner by going on Dinge (Demon Hinge) and Blasmphar (Angel Grindr). He sent lovey dovey messages to every handsome fellow he saw and every time he got a flustered response he got about half a hot dogs worth of food.

But when he came into his apartment he noticed that a letter had been stuck through his mailbox which was unusual because the only packages he usually got was either halloween props he'd ordered or CDs from Remy. The letter had been sealed with a personalized seal and the only person he knew who was dramatic enough to have a personalized seal was Roman.

Remus ripped open the letter but quickly noticed this was definitely not Roman's hand writing. oh SHIT he knew TWO people who were dramatic enough to have a personalized seal.

"Hello Remus

Sealed within the paper of this letter is a poison and by touching it you have now been contaminated. You will henceforth die within 5 minutes.

Just Kidding

Please don't try and lick the letter. I assure you there is no real poison"

Remus had just been about to try and lick the paper.

"The thought of meeting you doesn't leave me uneasy anymore. This isn't to say you have to come see me. I won't make you do anything you don't want but I will share my adress. I'm usually home most afternoons but not on thursdays, that's my jazz club evening. Again, only if you want to.

Signed, Janus"

On the bottom of the paper was a neatly written adress. It was in another country but it wouldn't be hard for Remus to get there.

Remus procedded to explode for about half an hour which resulted in his entire apartment looking like it had been hit by a tornado. It was the joyous kind of explosion. Happy flaps and waggy tails and bouncy feet.

His downstairs neighbor came up to complain but that by that point Remus had already taken his bag, put his least smelly clothes on and left.

-

The apartment was near the city centre but not too close to be constantly filled with noise. When Remus looked up he could see the balcony belonging to Janus' apartment. It was overflowing with green plants and a pride flag hung from the window.

Just as he was about to enter the building he suddenly got worried it was rude not showing up without a gift, so he crawled around in the grass for a while until he found a ladybug and trapped it between his hands. good enough. Not too romantic but not too distant either.

A note had been taped onto the door of Janus' apartment. "If you see any dead rodents/Your cat keeps bringing you dead rodents please knock on my door (I have several hungry snakes)"

Having ladybug filled hands did mean Remus had to knock on the door using his forehead but he didn't mind. He did mind what felt like an excruciating long wait for the door to open. The inside of his mouth started to stick together with worry.

The door opened and there Janus was.

"Huh, I wasn't expecting you to come immediately but on second thought mayhaps I should have"

"That's what she said" Remus couldn't stop himself.

Janus didn't exactly break into a smile but the edges of his lips twinged enough to show the edges of his sharp teeth.

"Want to come in?"

"In you? Fuck I mean- In me?" If Remus wasn't holding a ladybug he would have facepalmed.

"Do I make you nervous darling? Or is there a bomb taped to your back?" Janus teased.

"No. Well. I gotya a thingie" He opened his hands and the ladybug immediately got out it's wing and flew away.

"A gift that escapes. You're truly living in the future Remus"

Remus wanted all of his bones to break all at once and to become dust "Yeahhghhhagh"

"Come on, you're letting the oxygen out" Janus shuffled him into the apartment "Take your shoes off"

"Want me to take anythig else oofff?" Remus cursed his nervous rsponse being inuendos.

Janus smirked "See this is how you get in trouble. Talking like this in a strangers apartment"

"Are you?" Remus met his eyes "Are you a stranger?"

"Yes dear, I think I am. That doesn't have to be a bad thing"

The living room housed a huge terrarium which held three long snakes. One was lazing about on a branch while the other two were snakeing (snake snacking) on leftovers from breakfast.

"That's Jane, Virginia and Sylvia" Janus introduced before Remus even had time to ask.

"What's the largest thing they've eaten??" The demon instead asked.

"A Human of course" He snarked back.

"What do you do with their shed skin???? Can I have some??"

"Maybe if you bark nicely"

Janus leant on his cane as he walked over to the living room couch and sat down. The demon hesitated and did a few spins around the room before sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. The coffee table was too littered with books, leftover teamugs and crosswords to actually hold any cofee.

"Sor-"

"I don't need to hear another apology from you Remus"

The demon didn't know what else to say. He looked down at the floor before his eyes got caught on the cane again.

"Even if we're strangers we still got someting in common. Now we're both disabled!" Remus did jazz hands "I got so fucked over by the Manager that one time you uhm DIEd that I've got migraines ever since" He covered his mouth "Ough maybe you don't wanna talk about that shit"

"It's fine. That's...Do you take anything for it?"

"YeaahhH. Weed and also for a few years meds! I'm all gucci now! Hye listen to me! I know what Gucci is! I'm a real English expert!"

Janus' expression softened "That's good. I had a backbrace custom made to fit with my arms but I find that the cane helps too, or at least the future me will thank me for it....And I think I want future me to live as good and as long as he can"

"Well you already know what I've been doing. Putting fake blood on bitches. So" Remus scooted ever so slightly closer and let his big red eyes stare daggers into Janus "What you been doing? Uhm aside from the snakes!"

He began to sign 'For one I have learned sign language'

Remus began too happy flap before remmebering he needed his hands 'Thats SO COOOOOL!!'

'I have also learned French, swahili and I am working on my spanish'

"WOWOWOWOW" He switched 'I still only know English, Demon and sign'

'Eh. I know four. You know 3. Not bad for either, innit?'

'How the fuck did you put a british accent into sign???'

'I never reveal my techniques'

Remus laughed "Y'know for a stranger I feel ease around you...tho I guess I uhm I show my ass and eat trash in front of most strangers so I guess I feel easy around mosta them- BUTWHATELSEYOUDONE??"

"I got to try out my dream job! Which obviously was to be one of those bastards that scam people out of money at amusement parks. I had one of those throwing bottle games and the prizes where gigantic pieces of chocolate. It was a good way to get used to feeding off of misery because nothing is sweater than the misery of a cocky guy who tries to win a dozen times in front of his legion of just as assholeish guy friends just to walk away empty handed"

Janus let out a well rehearsed evil laugh and Remus joined in.

"But that is in the past now. It was amusing for a while but currently am on my 6th year of law school"

"Is that how long humans usually take?"

"No actually it takes 500 years for a human. Or 3 years, but I...I think I like academia....I just did not function within the human system of rigid academia where everyone learns in the same fast pace. Now when I have so many years ahead of me I can create my own pace. I'm not even sure if I want to work within law later or if I just wanted to have the knowledge but I have made a list of other jobs I want to try and Oh- My goal is actually to learn at least 50 languages and obviously also visit every country"

His tail was casually swinging back and forth.

"So...You like being demon?"

Janus took a moment before replying "I like the life I've created for myself and being a demon has helped in that yes. The wings totally don't help at all either. No never. Especially not when my spine hurts too much to walk"

"Goodie!! Good thing I killed you then!"

Remus was a bit surprised to hear Janus burst into a laugh but his heart warmed at hearing it again. His apperance may have changed a bit but his voice was the same.

"There was another thing I wanted to tell you" Janus continued while letting two of his arms lean on the top of the couch.

"That there's Aliens???"

"No. Maybe. Yes actually and the Aliens are called Angels and Demons" Janus leant a bit closer "But seriously-"

"WAIT!! Before...Before serious time I gotta ask" Remus held his hand over his heart "For the sake of my bro....Have you thought about contacting Virge?"

Janus glanced away and poked at the top of his cane "I have. Originally my plan was to make him wait for 17 years because that was the amount of time that he lied to me, but that seems a bit immature now. Please don't tell him so that his hopes don't get raised for nothing but I have played with the thought of seeing him...Maybe...I am not as sure about it as I was about you"

"Okay." He ziptied his mouth "I won't tell him nada!"

"Look at you throwing in spanish too!"

"Hehe yeah I knew a spanish weed smoking girl once sssooo learned some"

Janus patted him on the head "Good boy"

Hearing those words again made a shiver go up through Remus' tail which caused it to raise straight up into the sky. Janus snickered at his goofy expression.

"Lovely to see that you still haven't learned how to hide your emotions"

"HEhe yeaahhgh. That's my Remus charrrmm. What were you gonna say?" He tilted his head and smiled and to his surprise Janus' cheeks went a tad bit red.

He cleared his throat before speaking "I have gotten to know a lot more people and I have a number of men who I met quite regularly if I ever..feel the need so to speak. So"

"Did you invite me over just to brag about how much dick you're getting???"

"Well yes! But also" Janus took Remus' hand in his "I think I'm ready to have a relationship with you again...A Platonic one for now but I...I want to talk to you again...I want to talk to you often...I missed doing so...And I just wanted you to know that I will never ask you to have sex with me ever again! I assure you I am doing perfectly fine in my sex life without ANY of your involvment! Part of why I waited so long to contact you was that I wanted to make sure I was able to- That we were able to be together without being toxic for one another and I hated the way my lust made you feel! I wanted a chance to get to know myself when I was all alone, without any close relationships, but even now when I have become a version of myself that I like I still find myself thinking of you and....and...Well that means something, doesn't it" He ran out of steam "Basically I just wanted to assure you that going forward I won't knowingly feed you any lust, and if I do so accientally I will immediately stop"

Remus blinked "..........It would be so funny if I told you I'm no longer ace right now"

Janus snickered which made Remus chuckle which made both of them laugh.

"I've missed you too Jannie" Remus got out between burst of giggles.

It was a bit unclear of who moved first but it was Janus who locked his arms around Remus in a tight hug and Remus who let his head rest on Janus' shoulder.

They held eachother for a long time.

-----

5 Years after their reunion.

"Darling be a dear and help me up"

"Yeeesss Sir"

Remus holstered Janus up to sit on his arm so that he could tape a banner spelling out Congratulations onto the wall. He tapped on his boyfriend's head when he wanted to come back down.

It took Remus' brain a second to load before he exclaimed "HEY WAIT! You got wINGS! You don't need me carrying you!"

Janus dramatically pretend to fall into Remus' embrace "Oh but how else could I eveeeerrr get the chance to touch those arms of yours"

The demon happily flexed his arm and let Janus snuggle up against him "You can always just ask Janey-Maney"

"That's my good Remus-Bemus"

"ZIP IT WITH THE MIDDLE SCHOOL FLIRTING!!!" Roman interrupted from the other side of the room. "DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE IN THE HONEYMOON PHASE AGAIN! WE'RE ON A SERIOUS MISSION!" Beetle stood by his side and started to bark "Beetle says he's almost here!! Get DOWN!"

Remus slid down under a table while his twin put the couch cushions over herself and Beetle crawled in under the couch. Janus stood still with his arms crossed.

"Are you certain he will enjoy a surprise party? I would consider myself the Virgil expert here and I don't think he would"

"Nuh-uh! You're the Virgil historian! I however! Am the current Virgil expert!" Roman argued "And OBViously it's not a total surprise! I forewarned him I would hold a surprise party for him sometime this week so he could prepare but I didn't say when!"

That was good enough for Janus and he crawled down beside his boyfriend, which totally didn't act as an excuse to huddle close together. And he totally didn't drag Remus by the collar even closer and throw in a quick kiss before the sound of the door opening made them all go quiet.

The couple waited until Roman signed 'NOW',

All three of them, with Beetle following soon behind, jumped up and yelled "CONGRATULATIONS!!" "HAPPY LOSS OF VIRNIGITY VIRGIN!" "Woohoo you learned how to speak Dog!"

Roman sent glares to the other two and mumbled "Guys I thought we practiced doing normal congrats"

Their sights turned to look at Virgil who stood red faced with his trainee dog by his side. Even his nose turned red as he tried to hold back happy tears, Janus was the first to recognise it and quickly went in to hug him.

"I guess that this is the new recruit" Janus said softly while patting the dog on the head.

"Yeah. The first therapy dog that I've trained all on my! I got my certificate today too!" He cracked up into a grin and the twins both tackled him into a hug.

Roman won the hug and got to spin Virgil around until he made the Angel giggle to which he kissed him.

"So are you keeping him?? Beetle sibling?"

"Nah. It's not like I need double anxiety dogs. He'll get a nice new home"

Roman's wings flapped him up into the air "OH! Virgie! I got cake! Here Here!" She dragged Virgil along to the kitchen.

Remus moved to join them but Janus held him back for a moment "Your hair is stuck in your horn" He leant up on his toes to untangle the curls.

Their eyes met and Remus smiled at him with such a bright light in his eyes that Janus couldn't help but swoon. He cupped the succubi's face and leant their foreheads together to be as close to him as inhumanly possible. Roman and Virgil could be heard laughing from the other room.

Remus closed his eyes and felt the feeling of feeding off of Janus, his boyfriend's, love. It tasted like Home.

noun,singular suc·cu·bus [ sʌk-jʊ-bəs ].

a demon typically taking a human form, who feeds off of the lust for relationships whether that be sexual, romantic or platonic

An category of demon, originating from the circle of lust but who can be found living in Hell, Heaven or Earth

The End

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