Ask The Original Liam Jones

Former Navy Captain, current Bar Tender, and always big brother of Killian Jones. Part of the askONCErp

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

God, you really are all work and no play, aren't you? It's been a rough time of it lately -- live a little!

This is hardly the first time I’ve been accused of that. Mostly by Milah. And by Killian. And by the crews of several ships.

@ask-milahthepiratequeen is always encouraging me to take a break, sometimes even successfully. 

Although I’m not technically alive, so living is perhaps the wrong word.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

asktheoriginalliam:

It can certainly be something that calls for shoes that aren’t sensible. 

That– That could be fun. I could wear a dress preferably something that wouldn’t be mistaken for a sleeping gown and I might even steal your coat.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

I like the sound of that. And I promise I won't let you freeze.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

Oooh a date, and a fancy one at that? Well, that seems to be what she's hoping for, anyway. What do you have in mind? (Have you ever planned one of those before?)

My plan for the date isn’t that complicated, just a nice dinner. We’ve both been working very hard getting the Underworld in some semblance of working order so it will be nice to get out of the office for a while. 

And no, I have never really planned a fancy date. There were occasionally balls or soirees where officers would mingle with nobility, and the daughters of nobility would be there. I suppose that would be the closest, but I certainly wasn’t part of the planning process.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

God, you really are all work and no play, aren't you? It's been a rough time of it lately -- live a little!

This is hardly the first time I’ve been accused of that. Mostly by Milah. And by Killian. And by the crews of several ships.

@ask-milahthepiratequeen is always encouraging me to take a break, sometimes even successfully. 

Although I’m not technically alive, so living is perhaps the wrong word.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

asktheoriginalliam:

Alright. Why don’t you let me finish what I’m working on here without distraction because you can be very distracting and then let me take you out to dinner. Real dinner, not sandwiches in the office.

There is bound to be a real restaurant somewhere in town.

Oh? Oh!

I can– I can be not distracting.

But, um, is this a thing where changing into something else might be in order? Something that requires shoes that aren’t sensible?

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

It can certainly be something that calls for shoes that aren’t sensible. 

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

God, you really are all work and no play, aren't you? It's been a rough time of it lately -- live a little!

This is hardly the first time I’ve been accused of that. Mostly by Milah. And by Killian. And by the crews of several ships.

@ask-milahthepiratequeen is always encouraging me to take a break, sometimes even successfully. 

Although I’m not technically alive, so living is perhaps the wrong word.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

I’ll take my victories where I can. And successfully getting you to take a break certainly counts as one.

But even when my devious ploys aren’t successful, I have fun with the attempts. And speaking of.

Liiiiaaaammmm. I went through this entire stack of things. You wanna take a break with me? Or do I get to distract you while you keep working? It’s a win-win for me either way!

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

Alright. Why don’t you let me finish what I’m working on here without distraction because you can be very distracting and then let me take you out to dinner. Real dinner, not sandwiches in the office.

There is bound to be a real restaurant somewhere in town.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

God, you really are all work and no play, aren't you? It's been a rough time of it lately -- live a little!

This is hardly the first time I’ve been accused of that. Mostly by Milah. And by Killian. And by the crews of several ships.

@ask-milahthepiratequeen is always encouraging me to take a break, sometimes even successfully. 

Although I’m not technically alive, so living is perhaps the wrong word.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

Have you considered how Liam fits the pattern? I mean, Rumple, we all know how /that/ worked out. Killian, sure it was good for a while, but wow it was a mess after you were gone. And now Liam, he didn't move on to a better place because of you. It's starting to look like you may be the common denominator.

I–

You–

We–

He–

Yes. I have considered it.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

Do you truly believe that's how I see it? Or how Killian does? Your murderer doesn't get an opinion. Whatever shade vexes your mind with this is wrong.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

I hate to break it to you, mate, but you're dead. I think the other shoe HAS dropped. I think the shoe STORE has dropped. Possibly the entire strip mall. ~xoxo Jillian.

(ref)

I have noticed I’m dead, thank you, Jillian.

And I’d certainly like to think that’s the other shoe. 

 Although I’m still getting used to the idea that people acquire their shoes from strip malls instead of from the little old cobbler who lived by the docks and made all the shoes for new navy recruits. I mean, I went into a shoe store once. There were near as many shoes in there as there are people in Underbrooke. It must have taken decades to make all of them. What do they do with all the extra shoes? 

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

Wait a moment. Hold on. You mean to tell me…

We’re dead?! Liam, why have you never said anything to me!

All along, I thought I’ve merely been checking for my pulse at the wrong time. 

I still cannot get over the abundance of clothing in some of these stores. I mean, they aren’t even tailored! They’re just…how do I know what size I am supposed to be? I know my measurements, I don’t know sizes! And what, is one size supposed to magically conform to my measurements? Or is it ‘close enough’ and apparently that is supposed to be acceptable? I just end up buying ‘close enough’ and tailoring them myself.

I’m wondering if this all isn’t some sort of taunt. For what I’m not sure.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

I know that news must be shocking. If you hadn’t noticed, most people don’t live three centuries. Although, given Killian’s time in Neverland, being over three hundred is apparently no guarantee of being dead.

I know. The updated Underbrooke has its advantages. Refrigerators are one of the best things ever invented. But really, the clothing situation takes some getting used to.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

I don't think they're hand made anymore. But something tells me you don't have a lot of factory industry down in Underbrooke do you? Maybe Hades imported them. Do they all have a small imperfection in the sole that drives you crazy after a couple hours walking in them. Cause that sounds like something Hades would do... ~Jillian~

I kind of assume there must be factories. That’s what’s churning out all that smoke, right? @ask-milahthepiratequeen do you know what those factories actually make? We should probably look into that.

It’s not an imperfection in the sole that is the main problem. The left and right shoes are slightly different sizes. Nothing that can’t be fixed by padding the left shoe with a little newspaper. I heard a rumor that some people actually buy two pairs so they get the same size in both, but I don’t think that’s true. No one would buy a whole pain of shoes just to throw away. Right? 

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

I hate to break it to you, mate, but you're dead. I think the other shoe HAS dropped. I think the shoe STORE has dropped. Possibly the entire strip mall. ~xoxo Jillian.

(ref)

I have noticed I’m dead, thank you, Jillian.

And I’d certainly like to think that’s the other shoe. 

 Although I’m still getting used to the idea that people acquire their shoes from strip malls instead of from the little old cobbler who lived by the docks and made all the shoes for new navy recruits. I mean, I went into a shoe store once. There were near as many shoes in there as there are people in Underbrooke. It must have taken decades to make all of them. What do they do with all the extra shoes? 

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

Of course she misses Killian. And of course she kisses you senseless when you talk like a pirate. It's the closest she's ever going to get to kissing Killian again. We all know you're never going to live up to the epic love story that Killian had with Milah but at least she can still pretend...

I’m not a fool, malevolent shade. I know she misses Killian. And I know that what I have to offer is far less exciting than running away with a pirate. 

But I also know Milah. I know that our friendship means too much to her for her to simply take me as a replacement for what she cannot have. I know she deserves far more credit that you give her. Do not make the mistake of doing her that dishonor again in my hearing.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

asktheoriginalliam:

Of course I know. 

 I know you miss piracy. And I know… I know you miss Killian.

But I also know you too well to think you would seek to simply replace him. 

Okay, but…

Did you get that the reason I did it wasn’t because I was thinking of anyone else at all?

I mean…you did something so adorably horrible not well just to make me smile. That’s the only reason why I tried to get you to do it more.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

I... Of course I know... I know you well enough. I’m just not used to any of this. I’m still learning not to expect the other shoe to drop when something amazing happens.

And of course I would do something badly just to make you smile. I knew I loved your smile far before I figured out that I’m in love.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

You can't think of anything else that might... inspire one to remove their clothing... quickly?

(ref)

I admit, I can think of a few, none of which I intend to discuss with masked strangers.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

I have a suggestion for the uniform. It involves a zipper. Buttons are SO last century.

Ohhhhh. I second this suggestion. It means less things to sew back on in moments where a quick undressing is very much needed.

I, ah, of course mean when we’re running late for something and he needs to change clothes quickly. I would say for instances where he’s a liar, liar, pants on fire, but he’s not very good at that. (Because if your pants are on fire, you’d have to take them off in a hurry, right?)

What do you think, @asktheoriginalliam? Zippers, or shall I sew the buttons back on for you?

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

You do realize I managed just fine with buttons for years, right? We were often miles from shore, and from tailors, so we generally just sewed on our own buttons as the need arose. Which is did from time to time, putting in a full days work on deck. There are plenty of things on a ship to catch on a button.

We seldom had issues with fires, surrounded as we were by water, and there are few other causes requiring divesting oneself of clothing quite that quickly. 

Most things worth doing are worth taking your time.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

Maybe Milah will get you a new taco hat! (okay but please don't because it's a little silly looking... I mean... what?)

The thing about the hats is that they are about rank. You don't simply buy one and wear one because you like the look. They have to be earned. The appropriate hat for an admiral was different that the one for a captain, which was different from one for a lieutenant. Any possible hat for me to wear now would have to be part of a uniform, and @ask-milahthepiratequeen and I have not yet discussed the appropriate uniform for the Underworld Navy.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

Do you ever miss the taco hat?

Occasionally. Although I know @ask-milahthepiratequeen would mock me heartily about it. That sounds like something she would call it, come to think of it.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

So Liam doesn't like your krakens because of the subject matter. Is there anything you don't like to draw for similar reasons?

Um. Well. There’s certain things I don’t enjoy drawing for one reason or another. But sometimes I still find myself drawing them.

At least I’ve in drawing hands. And eyes… Whether they’re holding a heart before crushing it or…

Anyway. Perhaps it’s therapeutic? Maybe? Or perhaps I just like to torture myself.

I have…a lot of these drawings I’ve done over the centuries. I don’t look at them after I’m done and I certainly don’t show them to anyone.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

asktheoriginalliam:

I… I didn’t know. I’ve never seen those drawings, not on the napkins in the bar, not even in your studio.

Originally posted by officerrogerss

And I haven’t forgotten dying either, Milah, nor have I forgotten the look in Killian’s eyes when I fell. Some memories are too sharp to fade, even after all this time.

Shittake mushrooms, Liam, you scared the carp out of me.

Where the waffle iron is that load bearing bell?

I…don’t keep them out. And it’s easier not to draw such things when one isn’t alone.

Do you sometimes wish you could? Forget that look?

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

I didn't mean to startle you. I can understand why you don't keep them around. There are some things it is easier to pretend you've forgotten, even if the memories won't leave.

And of course a part of me wishes I could forget that look. But another part... it was the sharpest memory I had of him until recently.

I had his face again when you drew it for me, but before that... when all I had of life was memories, I don't know if I would have willingly forgotten a moment with Killian, however much it hurt.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

So Liam doesn't like your krakens because of the subject matter. Is there anything you don't like to draw for similar reasons?

Um. Well. There’s certain things I don’t enjoy drawing for one reason or another. But sometimes I still find myself drawing them.

At least I’ve in drawing hands. And eyes… Whether they’re holding a heart before crushing it or…

Anyway. Perhaps it’s therapeutic? Maybe? Or perhaps I just like to torture myself.

I have…a lot of these drawings I’ve done over the centuries. I don’t look at them after I’m done and I certainly don’t show them to anyone.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

I... I didn't know. I've never seen those drawings, not on the napkins in the bar, not even in your studio.

And I haven't forgotten dying either, Milah, nor have I forgotten the look in Killian's eyes when I fell. Some memories are too sharp to fade, even after all this time.

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

Of course she misses Killian. And of course she kisses you senseless when you talk like a pirate. It's the closest she's ever going to get to kissing Killian again. We all know you're never going to live up to the epic love story that Killian had with Milah but at least she can still pretend...

I’m not a fool, malevolent shade. I know she misses Killian. And I know that what I have to offer is far less exciting than running away with a pirate. 

But I also know Milah. I know that our friendship means too much to her for her to simply take me as a replacement for what she cannot have. I know she deserves far more credit that you give her. Do not make the mistake of doing her that dishonor again in my hearing.

[ask-milahthepiratequeen]

The closest to…

Is that legitimately why some people think I kissed you then?

…You know that’s not why, right?

(Right?)

[asktheoriginalliam-blog]

Of course I know. 

 I know you miss piracy. And I know... I know you miss Killian.

But I also know you too well to think you would seek to simply replace him.