MAN WITHOUT FEAR!

offer your body as a 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒆.

[aslivingsacrifice]

matt has moved to @harvestshope.

[shoshanadreyfuss]

[interestinggin]

@alwaysalreadyangry sent me this and i am angry, i am upset, i want to complain to the management and i don’t know what i did to be persecuted in this way but THANK YOU IT RUINED MY ENTIRE WEEKEND AND LIFE

[springsnotfail]

GOD DAMN

[image: Matt Murdock, looking moody, dressed in a messy and crumpled white formal shirt with a few buttons undone and thin black tie loosened. He is wearing one unlaced boxing glove, his cane tucked under his arm. He is wearing no pants, but what look like black boxers, and leather garters with buckles hold up his beige socks, contrasting against his muscular thighs and calves. He is wearing lace-up black office shoes. On the floor is a small box with a crucifix on a gold chain draped over it, a white ribbon unfurled on the floor, a mug saying NELSON AND MURDOCK, and a pen and pencil. He is leaning against a shelf with books. He is sitting as if on a chair, but no chair is visible. He looks as if he has been practicing sparring in his office without getting changed, and now is sweaty and worrying about the world.]

[aslivingsacrifice]

glacierfront​.

     !!!

     there hasn’t been very much going for julie as far as the life department goes. she’s been kind of floating through it. matt can’t see it, but she looks pretty much like a fucking mess. tired eyes, rings, stringy hair, her comfiest, baggiest clothes that she might have worn for like three days in a row now—

      it’s all a fucking lot.

      but oh boy, if this doesn’t let something light and floating unfurl in her chest like nothing else.

      “—yeah.” she takes a half-step forward, the eagerness making it so her body doesn’t really know what to do. for the first time in a while, her echo of his smile seems kind of genuine. “yeah, i can — help. i can help with. whatever — you. i don’t know how good i’ll be at it, but. i. i—”

      his words catch up with her. face pucker. like a sour lemon! “—i don’t. do that. by the way.” near immediately! like turning on a dime! “i. that’s. teodor. he does that. he steals my phone.”

     “huh.”   if he looks puzzled, it’s because he’s trying to imagine how that could possibly be a normal situation for her. or anyone?? her temperature goes up, but he thinks it’s embarrassment, not lying.   “you should get that seen to,”   he says, like teodor is a kind of disease.

     “and take some time to think about it — the job — especially now, when you’re starting out. you get a lot of shit dumped on you in this profession.”   maybe not by taking administrative work and legal research off their hands for a couple of hours a day, which is really what they need, since karen moved on. but they never know who might walk in for help in this neighborhood. they’ve defended murder suspects before. would she be ready for that?   “we’ll still be the ones taking most of it, though, and we can answer any questions you have.”

     matt sits down on the step, attempting not to favor his left side too obviously. he would hate to ruin claire’s stitches so soon.

     “what made you want to do this?”

[aslivingsacrifice]

HOW ARE YOU RUINED?

ruined by fury. you are angry. you are angry and everyone knows it. the fire within you will not die, cannot die. for if it dies, you wont have a reason to burn. your rage simmers close to your chest, it boils near something you wont touch. you are angry because it is easier than anything else. you are angry because you choose it over pain. you are ruined because you cannot feel anything but your own ire.

[questionsofmoraliitya]

SELF-KNOWLEDGE QUESTIONNAIRE.

AGGRESSION

One part of your character is anger in all its forms: frustration, outrage – and when anger is suppressed – bitterness, grumpiness, and bodily aches. Fundamentally, frustration comes from hope: you get upset because you expect your life will be more than a valley of tears. One way to deny aggression is to direct it inwards, as self-criticism. But you’re at your best when you acknowledge anger, and act it out clearly and in a focussed way, with honour.

EXHIBITIONISM

There’s a strand in your nature which loves making an impression – perhaps with your clothes, or conversation, or in a self-revealing blog or a novel. You like to dramatise yourself, to pose as a unique, perhaps mysterious person, to joke or exaggerate your part in adventures. Though you might more than once have been called a show off, it is actually a generous tendency: you want to please and entertain others. It could be the start of good teaching and leadership.

RESILIENCE

You have a tendency, after a setback, to turn your emotions towards restriving. What attracts you is the idea of wiping out a humiliation by resumed action – overcoming weakness, repressing your fear. Because part of your motive is pride, you can sometimes be unwilling to admit weakness or to receive aid. But at heart, tour insistence on coming back and never folding has taught you a valuable pessimism: you know that important journeys are never easy.

tagged by: @hardbittten tagging: whoever ,,, would like to grab it please @ me

[aslivingsacrifice]

#matt's 3 moods: super pissed; Lives For The Drama; not giving up even when nobody asked

[aslivingsacrifice]

i had this drafted since my reboot so i might as well post it while nmcu dd is still the dd people think of. key canon divergences —

the matt/elektra backstory resembles 616. it’s important to me that matt and elektra were both relatively innocent when they met. they just fell in love. it was so simple. the tragedy isn’t that one of them did something wrong, but that they were separated by fate, by something out of their control (in the comics and my default canon, the death of elektra’s father), and once they diverged they could never find a way to make it work again. it’s that soulmate quality i care about. they belong together, but they’re too different now.

matt came up with the daredevil moniker himself. it’s his choice and bi ace right to be as dramatic as possible, do not take this from him.

s2 things. i’ll be honest, i never did manage to finish this season after the college backstory episode broke me, and i don’t care about making the plot ‘work.’ ideally, matt and karen don’t date, but still have a falling-out when he comes clean to her about his identity. frank isn’t here; matt’s main moral challenges for the season come from elektra. the black sky probably isn’t a thing? they both have enough damage with stick to make a story out of that. foggy and matt conflict over the daredevil lifestyle, with foggy fundamentally not understanding why it’s important to matt, and matt refusing to compromise to protect foggy’s own health and safety. they do close their practice because of it.

defenders things. matt doesn’t stop being daredevil. though his mental health nosedives after elektra’s death, it causes him to throw himself more into his work — both his pro bono work, and beating people up. he suffers severe injury under midland circle trying to stop/save elektra, but elektra herself drags him out to st agnes and disappears soon after.

s3 things. as in canon, matt spends considerable time recovering, being angry, and kind of wanting to die. he doesn’t return to being daredevil right away, partly because he doesn’t want to tell people that he survived until he’s found elektra. he knows from maggie that she saved his life and must be out there somewhere, but after some time searching, he is eventually forced to give it up. he returns, locates his friends, and apologizes not only to karen and foggy, but to claire, jessica, and luke. in the meantime, bullseye steals his identity. i don’t remember everything that happened with fisk in this season but i guess he goes back to jail and matt still overlooks vanessa’s importance; that seems in-character.

post-s3. matt gets a new daredevil suit, reinventing himself for his own good and distancing himself from bullseye for the people of hell’s kitchen. this one is a much brighter red. nelson & murdock get back together. mental health-wise, he’s really just pulled his head above water; there’s a lot of work still to do.

[aslivingsacrifice]

.... are they gonna force matt’s fight scenes to be quippy?

[aslivingsacrifice]

covenstrays​.

         ‘ no. but you’re being eh… ’ a small pause to grasp at a word she doesn’t know. ‘ …not nice? how you say… ’ the spanish-english dictionary she has is falling apart, but it does its job. ‘ i can always remember ‘nice’, but not the other one…mean. you’re being mean. ’

         her mouth purses – in spanish she could’ve been a little more diplomatic, but a small voice in the back of her head tells her that perhaps matthew doesn’t quite need diplomatic right now.

        ‘ but it’s okay, i…i think it’s normal. maybe even good, you know? you are not saying it to him, but you’re not eh…you’re not keeping it inside, and having it turn…sour, something…something worse than mean. ’ her tongue feels like lead in english, but her presence will still feel grounding, like cool water against feverish skin. in their rest, her pulse is slowing and her voice, though quiet, is steady. ‘ i don’t think you hate him. but if you kept that anger inside, over time, you could. ’

     “ ...yeah,”   he admits. she could use the word cruel, if she knew it. or an asshole, if she were less good, less nahia.   “i know.”

     he doesn’t sound proud of himself. he knows he shouldn’t be, needs to be better. which is why the last thing he expects from the next words out of her mouth is but it’s okay.

     his brow knitting, matt holds onto that thought. that maybe it isn’t his anger that’s bad, but the act of bottling it up for too long. he holds it in his gloved fist, flexes his stiff fingers around it. he wonders if it’s already too late not to be bitter. he lost his innocence when he was nine years old. didn’t he?

     "i’m trying to — do something with it. the anger. and sometimes it feels right, but other times...”

[aslivingsacrifice]

materxnatura​.

         𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨, she thinks with a crack in an old wound. but seraphina keeps it to herself, instead bending easily towards even his slight touch in her spry, willowy manner. it’s enough to pull her onto the couch beside him, perch her chin on his shoulder, and wrap one of her arms around his waist – she can’t help it. she’s cold and she’s greedy and she loves him.

          ‘ the only time you look like an idiot, ’ she purrs, reaching up to brush her knuckle down his cheek. ‘ is when you water that very crispy pile of leaves you call a fern. ’

          a cold, sharp nose pushes into his temple. ‘ but not this. ’ followed by a kiss. ‘ not even a little. ’ she resumes her position as heat-thief. ‘ at least we know what not to do, hmn? ’

     when she presses into him, he can feel the small, solid bump of her belly against his side. small and hopeful, he thinks again. matt’s not good at hopeful. he’s good at ruining his life. at fighting, because the alternative is giving into the inertia that tells him to lie down forever. that, too, makes him think of his dad, who fought back because he was ashamed of living a lie and thought matt would be, too. even though he knew, must have known, that matt would lose him because of it.

     he doesn’t really want to talk about fathers, either. matt was so loyal for so long, even admitting as much as he has is hard.

     “what not to do: put diapers in the regular trash can. we need something smell-proof. — your hands are freezing, you leech.”   but his body turns toward her as he speaks, his head inclined to catch every word, and the cold as much as the kiss coaxes a smile from him.

     he rests his hand on her stomach. just that quiet gesture.   “you’re happy? you want to do this? you’re sure?”

[aslivingsacrifice]

covenstrays​.

           ‘ s-stop, no! ’

           IT’S AS CLOSE to whining as she’s ever going to get, but the truth of the matter is, his laughter is contagious, and it makes her smile so big that it hurts. in the end, the well-meaning nahia can only cover her face with both hands – logic tells her she should be uncomfortable. that she should be apologizing profusely or over-explaining herself. but all she can register is a gut-deep comfort: it feels good to laugh. she’s allowed to laugh.

           not that her life is so unbearably sad that she can’t laugh! she has a good life. a great life, even ( ‘starving children in africa’ is an international scolding it seems ). she’s just…busy. they both are.  a voice, soft and unintrusive, blooms in her psyche. you’re both allowed more than a moment in joy’s sun

          ‘ b-besides… ’ she pauses, clearly unsure if this next joke is too much. ‘ i’m allowed to give…what did you say? ultimatums? ultimatums. somewhere in a tiny spanish church there is a saint card with my name on it. i swear. maybe. ’ no. too much. backpedal. ‘ or i have a brain cancer. in– in which case, i am maimed. and poor. we are eh… ’ a vague hand gesture. ‘ match even. eh, even match. ’

     “no, you don’t get to count that. sainthood is not admissible in court. absolutely not.”

     nahia’s embarrassment and her pleasure radiate warmth. fast, strong heartbeat that’s impossible not to hear even though he isn’t trying to listen. she stumbles through her next rebuttal as if it’s the first joke she’s ever made in her life.

     he feels like he’s corrupted her. she’ll be a new yorker in no time.

     “careful, i’ll tell maggie you said that. i will.”

[aslivingsacrifice]

@glacierfront​

     “so if you’re, uh, serious about this — wanting to be a legal assistant — ”

     giving up your career for something totally different? he doesn’t know much about what that’s like. he wouldn’t have any advice to offer. making questionable decisions about how to take out your frustration because you can’t sleep? now we’re getting warmer. there are worse coping mechanisms. she could be wearing horns and punching violent criminals at night.

     hell, she could be going to law school.

     “foggy and i talked it over, and we’d love to have you, if working for us sounds good to you. although you should know you could definitely make better money elsewhere, and you’re gonna have to stop sending me sexually explicit emoji copypastas, it–it’s not very professional...”

     there isn’t a doubt in his mind that she’ll say yes. you can tell from his smile.

[aslivingsacrifice]

i actually logged in with the intention of writing but knowing they’re doing born again actually makes me want to gag (:

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

Sorry for bleeding everywhere Its because Im gods specialest boy

[aslivingsacrifice]

it would be nice to listen to “you found me” the fray in 2022 without immediately thinking of matt. wouldn’t it?

[aslivingsacrifice]

goddamn i remembered how good my star war verse is.

[aslivingsacrifice]

covenstrays​.

        AT FIRST, SHE’S stunned. embarrassment immediately follows, warming her cheeks, but what’s more worrying is that she wants to laugh. she can’t laugh! he’s blind! you can’t laugh at a blind man! how could she make a joke so stupid and how can she want to laugh – but she’s laughing anyway. clumsily while covering her mouth, a laugh hard-won from the otherwise solemn teenager.

                       ‘ i– that’s– that’s not funny! that’s not funny, i didn’t mean–! ’

     “that, uh, that depends on your perspective. your point of view — you could say, the way you see the world, even.”

     he’s laughing now, interrupting himself with laughing. it’s the most low-hanging set of puns he could have reached for, and he often does. the people who used to get the most uncomfortable ( foggy ) are the people he deliberately nitpicked and joked at until they got so sick of him that they stopped apologizing and started acting normal ( still looking at you, foggy nelson ).

     “so maybe give that some thought. do a little soul-searching. before you issue any more ultimatums to the poor, the maimed, and the blind...”

[aslivingsacrifice]

covenstrays​.

             ‘ oh no. i can’t even look at you. ’ she is looking at him. and her voice trembles a little with the great effort it takes not to laugh. ‘ come back with a card. or…or else. ’

     she is rewarded with the most kermit of kermit expressions, but he makes a much stronger attempt at an injured tone.   “nahia, i think... i think i may not be able to look at you, either.”