x & o

23. m. canada. ht: 5'4" / 162.6 cm sw: 180 lbs cw: fat gw: 120 lbs day log

[shoujo-dreamland]

[anxietyproblem]

[asmallfeeling]

I just want to scream right now

I need to get out of here but I just. Can't.

[myblissfulsuicide]

Do you ever get overwhelming urges to be devastatingly self-destructive? Because fuck.

[a-pdx-person-deactivated2018030]

[hannibalism]

[asmallfeeling]

When does life end and where can I get a refund

[hotblugger]

do u ever realize how ugly u really are and it just ruins ur day

[thebootydiaries]

My thoughts before anything: maybe if i wasn't ugly

[wheredoisign]

[onlytwitterpics]

[asmallfeeling]

10 minutes before i gotta leave for work is not a good time to have a suicidal meltdown lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[cervicks-deactivated20141013]

not killing myself is a personal achievement but you cant really brag about that at dinner parties

[shisma]

[asmallfeeling]

i am so bad about channeling my self harm into my sexuality i just dont know how to even talk to my therapist about it but i talk to my girlfriend about it and at least she keeps me grounded and recognizes the signs

[asmallfeeling]

my libido is either at 100 or -50 theres no in between and that can change at any moment What The Hell 

this week on Things To Tell My Therapist

[asmallfeeling]

i guess the last few days ive felt completely out of my body. my mind is somewhere else. when i zone out i come back thinking i should be somewhere completely different, or another time of my life. when i sit on the laptop too long i pull away from it thinking i should be 19 again staring down my computer screen in the dark of my old bedroom, that is now my sister’s bedroom. my dreams feel more real than real life. its overwhelming and exhausting but im so detached i cant really feel anything. im not hungry or thirsty or at least dont acknowledge i am until my lips are chapped and my stomach is howling. i dont know. i dont know, i dont know, i dont know. i feel pretty crazy. i want to do everything because i have the energy but nothing cause i have no ideas or money. i got paid today and its just not enough. this isnt going to make me through two weeks. this will barely cover my medication. i need to get a second job or hope the government one pulls through and calls me soon, or hope my govt assistance for my medications pulls through before i run out of what i need. i feel old and tired and part of the earth. my feelings and thoughts are literally everywhere and no where and now i feel like i should go back to sleep and just waste away but i have so many things to do, so, so many things.