𝒜𝓼𝓶𝓸𝓭𝓮𝓾𝓼♡

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓾𝓽𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭♥︎ (Obey Me brainrot lol)

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Bored asf part 2

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

When you got bored asf

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Waitress: So? What will it be?

Belphegor: I wish to devour the unborn.

Waitress:....

Beelzebub: He would like eggs.

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Beelzebub: I don't really see the big deal..? Why can't people just ask out people without a fuss?

Leviathan: W-Well.. You get nervous and get butterflies in your stomach!

Beelzebub: Digest them then?

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Mammon: Lucifer!! Levi called me the B word!!

Leviathan: Motherfucker doesn't start with a B!!

Lucifer: *Tired Mom sigh*

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

• Obey Me Shall we Date headcanons :P

— Satan feeds off of people's rage, wrath and murderous intents. He would amplify their rage to the point of murderous, and he's only smirking as he feeds off of you. (Except when he actually cares for you, he will try and stop himself just for your sake.) When wars come, Satan watches from a nearby distance and feeds off of the bloodshed. But- it does not mean he doesn't feel the injustice of it all, he does feel bad at times but what can he do? He's the Avatar of Wrath that lives for the war and bloodshed.

— Asmodeus feeds off of people's lust, especially towards him. Affairs and Brothels.. Anything that doesn't come with love, Asmo feeds on. Does not mean he likes non consent or very underage, in fact. He would see it as a complete disgrace, he would feel guilty for how he's actually feeding off that sick and twisted lust. And he's more than willing to kill the one who forced themselves onto children or anyone.

— Satan and Asmodeus are the children that Lucifer cannot take his eyes off of- ESPECIALLY when they are together. Often times, Asmo's flirting and seducing gets him to the point dozens of people lusts after him and will do ANYTHING to be with him. Then Satan comes in to put the admirers rivalry against each other, amplifying their anger to the point of actually killing each other, which is likely to start an entire war where only Asmodeus and Satan benefits from it, and they do not give af.

^^ "Aww Satann.. You didn't have to get them so riled up and jealous of each other that it starts an entire war..~" "You started it." "I can't help it, I'm just so perfect that anyone can fall for me! I didn't mean for it to turn out like this..~" "Yeah yeah.. Amusing, humans are so easy to be driven to murder..~" "Oh?"

— Asmodeus calls Lucifer 'Luci' and that will never change

— Solomon and Leviathan hangs out often in Levi's cooped up room, They usually game, watch anime or their favorite thing to do is watch or read anything related to TSL. Now they have Mc joining them from time to time

— Beel and Belphie both like headpats, I don't have any backing evidence except that they look like they do

— Asmo frequently scolds Satan to put his other arm in his jacket to the point Satan kinda just does it but then takes it off once more after Asmo's out of sight, Asmo found out about it and just left him be but that doesn't mean he doesn't dislike it at all

— Mammon names every crow he encounters and somehow he remembers everytime so when he walks down the street and notices some crows he'll be like "Yo! How's life Julian and Aria?"

— Satan has a bit of an experience with dealing with hairstyles cause Asmo sometimes asks him to do his hair while in a rush and he's doing his makeup

— Asmo and Mammon takes LONG getting ready which is why when they're all going out somewhere, Lucifer tells them 3 hours beforehand as to not be late. But somehow they always do end up late by 30 mins- or a full hour

— Beel akes a very comfy pillow which is why Belphie just sleeps on him when too tired

— Lucifer taught Mammon how to make flower crowns, so sometimes when they're near flowers. Mammon likes making Flower crowns and even gifted it to Mc, Mammon also made one for Lucifer before and Luci didn't mention it but he put a spell on it to make it not wilt and have it in his room as one of his most precious items

— Asmodeus broke a mirror once by punching it so hard when he first saw himself as a demon, he was terrified of his horns and black horns and thought he wasn't as pretty/pure as he was before

— Belphegor finds any place comfortable to sleep in, don't ask how but he once slept on the ceiling.

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

MC: I'm having problems with this person.

Asmodeus: Like- "their body won't fit in the trunk of my car" or "I like them"problems?

MC: The "I like them" problems..

Satan: Damn, that's too bad. I could have helped with the other one.

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Lucifer: I keep a picture of all 7 of us in my wallet, when I face difficulties. I take it out and stare at the picture.

Asmodeus: Aww!! Lucifer!!

Mammon and Leviathan: Aww!

Beelzebub: *Muffled aww through chewing*

Satan: There's a catch, I know it-

Belphegor: Mhm!

Lucifer: And I tell myself "if I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

Asmo, Mammon and Levi in sync: Oh.

Belphegor: Aha!

Satan: Knew it!

Beelzebub: *Sad muffled aww*

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Mammon: We're playing scrabble, it's a nightmare!

Asmodeus: Scrabble? Scrabble's fun!

Mammon: Not when you're playing with Satan! He puts words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog"!

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Beelzebub: Hello, Hell's kitchen! I would like to order 7829 of Cheeseburgers, prepare yourselves.

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Lucifer: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upsets me.

Mammon: In my defense, Levi bet me 2 grimm's that I couldn't drink an entire bottle of shampoo!

Lucifer: That's not what i- YOU WHAT?!

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Another day, another i'm bored so I'mma assign quotes onto Obey me characters again♡♡

- MC

"I will not be another flower picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find, and impossible to forget."

"I don't care if I fall inlove with a devil, as long as the devil will love me the way he loves hell."

- Lucifer

"All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once soft as water. And that's the tragedy of living."

- Mammon

"He is my brother. It doesn't matter we aren't related by blood."

"Who hurt you? My own expectations."

- Leviathan

"And when his halo broke, he carved the two halves into horns."

"I'm not the type of person someone falls in love with."

- Satan

"I am not my brother."

"You can tell how dangerous a person is by the way they hold their anger inside them quietly."

- Asmodeus

"It scares me sometimes, the emptiness I see in my eyes."

"I don't think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have constructed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love."

- Beelzebub

"He's got a good heart, he really does. It's just been broken, alot."

"My stomach is like a black hole, craving everything in its path and never fulfilled."

- Belphegor

"A golden cage, is still just a cage."

"Only a monster can deal with another monster."

-Diavolo

"Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain."

"I met evil when I was only a child."

- Barbatos

"We drink the poisons our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick."

"The most dangerous person is the one who listens and observes."

- Simeon

"He wasn't fragile like a flower, he was fragile like a bomb."

"If I told you about the darkness inside of me, would you still look at me like I was the sun?"

- Solomon

"Something about you made me feel a little more alive and a far less lost."

"Mother, I have pasts inside me I did not bury properly. Some nights, your son tears himself apart yet heals in the morning."

- Lilith

"From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity."

"I hope my last breath is a sigh of relief."

- Raphael

"He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. You can use a spear as a walking stick but that will not change its nature."

"You walk a fine line between beautifully macabre and uncharacteristically psychotic."

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Asmodeus: Isn't he cute?

Satan: Who?

Asmodeus: Solomon!

Satan:..I am so worried about you.

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Barbatos, to Solomon: Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick I'd throw it at you.

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Lucifer: If you do that again, I'll throw you out that fucking window you- what are you doing?

MC: Checking how high the drop is to see if it's worth it.

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

MC: What's our exit strategy?

Mammon: Our what?

Leviathan:..Omfg we're going to die.

[asmodeus-mydearbeloved]

Asmodeus: WHO ATE MY STRAWBERRY LIPSTICK?!

Leviathan: Lmao the answer is already obvious.

Beelzebub, smiling innocently:..It tasted good

Asmodeus: THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK AND IT'S TUESDAY.