I can’t keep track of who we are but anything starting with asp3n or relating to aspen/poison , trees/woods/forests that was probably us
Come back moots…
This page is a VENT BLOG, there will be talk of $h, disorders , abuse, programming, ed, paranoia inducing, OEA and just general distressing topics - In no way shape or form is this blog to encourage harmful topics, just for venting
- Temporary intro -
Pro recovery - Anti Force recovery
We are a C-DID system - OEA survivor
Use They/It pronouns unless said otherwise
Only DNI really is
Endos/Willos/Tulpa/Any Nondisordered systems
People who believe in disorder abuse
People who don’t believe in RAMCOA/OEA
Uhhh we block freely
And for the love of god just block us instead of reporting - we aren’t hurting anyone
How to deal with wanting to sl!t ur wrists open but not actually di3 but get close enough to death that everyone feels scared and guilty about the things they’ve done to you: no glue no borax
I think my least favorite thing to hear when I'm mentally not doing well is "you're scaring me".
Like mf I'M scared, and now you're making me more scared, because I'm scared to make you feel scared. And now my focus is away from being honest and telling you how I feel, and now it's about trying to make YOU feel more comfortable with MY distress.
Please don't say this. I've gotten this a lot when I was at my worst and it has never helped the situation. Stay calm, get help if needed, try to hear out and comfort the person who is mentally distressed. Wait until they are feeling better or back to normal before you share how the experience affects you as an outsider. I understand that it can be hard to see your loved one like that, but don't put your discomfort on them when they are already having a hard time.
Apparently I have to elaborate this because people are, well, stupid. But when anti endos say early endos formed from a hate group, they do not mean they are on the same level as the KKK. What they mean is that:
- Anti cdd sentiment was baked into the actions of the movement
- Those actions made cdd ableism a major part of early endogenic communities
- Very little active attempt to deconstruct these beliefs are done by most endogenic plurals or their supporters
- When called out on it, the endogenic communities collective response has been to deny, act defensive, and refuse to look inward.
you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me? you still love me?
she is sarcastic, overly-blunt, critical, defensive, self-aggrandizing, self loathing.
this walking contradiction. this nebulous figure in our head that screams that it exists. BUT ISN'T ALLOWED.
eventually, some of us decided to actively reach out to him. a lot of early attempts were destroyed by him. but slowly, the barrier on expression was lifted.
and we saw her turmoil first hand. we experienced her crisis of purpose. we experienced her fight for identity. we saw her panic attacks, and we began to understand her habits. we got to know red.
red grabs our turmoil by the neck and barks at us to run while it gouges him.
every part of us that is unpalatable, forbidden, impossible, terrifying, it goes to him. he holds it.
his methods are extremely questionable. his desire for retribution is dangerous. she is enraged. for us. and she is tired.
A common miscommunication I've seen inside and outside OEA spaces is the comparison of conditioning and programming. This is only made further complicated by the fact they exist on a similar scale, where not all conditioning is programming, but all programming is conditioning. This post serves to point out the differences between the two. Any sources may contain triggering content.
Programming
the far end of conditioning
The process of programming can be defined as "systematic torture that blocks the victim’s capacity for conscious processing, and then employs suggestion and/or classical and operant conditioning to implant thoughts, directives, and perceptions in the unconscious mind, often in newly-formed trauma-induced dissociated identities, that force the victim to do, feel, think, or perceive things for the purposes of the programmer. The objective is for the victim to follow directives with no conscious awareness." This is also referred to as Trauma-Based Coersive Mind Control, Torture Based Mind Control, or Trauma Based Mind Control (TBMC). [1]
TBMC within the community can refer to things outside of just programming. Because of this, when not referring to programming, the general term 'Mind Control' (MC) will be used to avoid confusion.
Programming uses the dissociative capacity of children, through extreme abuse and suggestion, to create alters to specifically serve the programmers needs. The purpose of programming is to have these alters respond to cues or triggers to make them perform specific acts. Ideally, the victim will not know what's going on, and a majority of the abuse will be hidden from them. [2, pg 437]
Conditioning
a natural process
There are many types of conditioning, however when comparing to programming and MC, we are more than likely referring to Classical, Operant, and Fear Conditioning. [3 pg 69, pg 88-90][4, pg 5 ] For this reason, this is what I'm going to focus on. I'm going to try my best to make this simple to understand!
Conditioning does not have to be purposeful. At its base, it's a natural process all people go through based on their environment. For example, your phone is initially a neutral stimulus, but a notification sound (conditioned stimulus) now triggers an emotional response (conditioned response.) This is an example of classical conditioning. [5]
A very simple definition of Classical Conditioning is "an unconscious process where an automatic, conditioned response becomes associated with a specific stimulus." [6]
A very simple definition of Operant Conditioning is "a method of learning that uses rewards and punishment to modify behavior." [7]
A very simple definition of Fear Conditioning is "when initially neutral stimuli, such as tones, lights, or distinctive environmental settings, are paired with aversive stimuli such as electric shocks or loud noises, which reflexively activate unconditional fear responses." A subset of Classical Conditioning. [8]
Conditioning can be considered the base for all mind control, while not being harmful in itself. Conditioning is a natural process that affects how we react and learn to our environment.
Still confused on the differences? Don't worry, we'll compare them now.
Comparison
All programming is conditioning, but not all conditoning is programming
The most important differences between these two concepts are:
1. Intentional and conscious actions (abuse)
2. The usage of dissociative parts (creating, organizing, programming)
3. Age of victim (Child, adult)
Programmers rely on multiple types of conditoning to control their victims on a higher scale. However, this relies on the creation and use of dissociative parts of a child, while conditoning by itself doesn't.
A good example of this is fear conditoning in PTSD. For example, say someone was attacked (unconditioned stimulus) by a short man (neutral stimulus). They then become fearful of other short men (conditioned response), despite knowing they're of no harm. This also happens in many other disorders, such as other anxiety disorders and OCD. [9]
The conditioned response here was not created purposely, nor did it use dissociative parts, and is possible at any age. This means it doesn't meet the requirements for programming.
But this doesn't account for purposeful actions, as may occur in abuse, so let's go over that next.
Purposeful conditioning (an example for the purposes of thought reform) has been documented in prisoners, war captives, and other abuse victims. [1]. These things are also common in cults and other high control groups, however conditioning can occur outside of organized groups.
An example of this is a victim having a conditioned behavior to 'walk on eggshells' around their abuser to avoid outbursts. In a more extreme example, prisoners of war may go through torture under the hands of their captors. This torture may focus on changing their beliefs or making them act a certian way- however, it would be an example of conditioning, not programming. This is due to the fact that programming must begin at an early age with the usage of dissociative parts. [10][1]
Despite all of this, conditioning can result in symptoms similar to programming, as they are very similar. For example:
1. The urge to go back to abuser(s)
2. False beliefs given by abuser(s)
3. Amnesia regarding abuse
etc..
The difference is the triggers and automatic reactions present in programming won't be possible from conditioning alone. If any pre-requisite isn't established (age, purpose, parts), it is not possible for conditioning to become programming.
--
Tldr: Programming is one of the most complicated versions of mind control. It utilizes conditioning and dissociative parts to make child victims perform automatic tasks according to their abusers. However, conditioning (and mind control) isn't inherently programming. A conditioned victim at any age may perform their abusers commands through terrified submission, religious indoctrination, torture, or other forms of Mind Control. These experiences are similar, but different to programming.
Myths and Misinformation
1. "Accidental' Programming.
1a. Due to the fact that it is possible to accidentally condition a person, some people have taken to assuming that programming can be accidental. This is untrue. All programming is purposeful, organized and conscious by those doing it. An abuser will need to know what they're doing in order for programming to be sucessful. An abuser does not have to know the specific science behind programming to know what they're doing works.
2. Programming is the only type of 'Mind Control.'
2a. Programming is a severe and sophisticated form of mind control, but it is not the only type, and certainly not the only kind that is perpetuated by organized abuse. You do not have to have gone through programming to be included in the 'MC' part of RAMCOA. A couple source I've listed goes into detail, here: [1][4]
3. Programming is 'More valid/More traumatizing/etc' than other types of MC.
3a. There is no valid way to measure or compare trauma. How everyone reacts to stress is different, especially children. Trauma olympics, especially among RAMCOA victims, is unecessary and harmful. You don't even have to had gone through MC to be a RAMCOA victim. Focus on healing and helping yourself- not how bad your trauma is, or how bad anyone elses trauma is.
Thank you for reading. If you have any questions, feel free to send an ask or reply to this post. A reminder that I am not a professional, I am flawed, and am just doing my best.
