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@aspecpplarebeautiful
Hi! I ahvent seen you in my dash in a while and I wanted to take this opportunity to just thank you. So much. Your blog has helped me in the worst moments of figuring myself out, both by reading other's asks and asking my own questions one or two times. So, for that, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart: thank you. Good to see you're still active
I'm so glad to hear this blog was so helpful to you. ✿
Pride sharks! Happy pride month :D more super cute pride flags themed sharks coming soon 👀
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷
💜 Some pride Icons I made 🩷
Feel free to use them
the parade
prints here!!!
PRIDE RATS!!!!! 🐀🌈✨
Pride worms!
Happy pride to my fellow aro & ace homies ! ⚔️
I've been informed it's a special day today. Happy visibility day aromantic people!
HAPPY PRIDE TO THE BLOG THAT HELPED ME FIGURE OUT I WAS ARO IN 2021 :D <2 U
Sorry I didn't see this sooner, Anon! Happy Pride! And happy aro visibility day today too!
Figured this one would be a hit with the aros.
Just a quick digital coloration I did of a sketch I found in one of my high school notebooks. I don’t know what inspired me to make it AroAce flag themed. I planned to digitize two other drawing in that notebook. I might give one an aromantic color scheme and the other asexual flag themed.
Did a genuine double-take at a "used to like me" recently, so you know the drill
So the kind of attraction I feel towards people seems to shift between alterous, sensual, and sometimes sexual. Is there a label for that?
(Abrosexual isn't right because the attraction type shifts, not the gender.)
You could use abro without the sexual suffix, abro simply means an identity that shifts between different orientations. Without any suffix to say which type of attraction its referring to it could be any or multiple types.
There's also aflux, which means someone who's identify shifts or fluctuates between different orientations, but is on the a-spectrum enough to the point of identifying with it. Aflux identities may also fluctuate between asexual, aromantic, asensual, aplatonic, a-aesthetic etc. spectrum identities and may or may not also include allo spectrum identities.
Unfortunately I'm not aware of a label specifically specifying someone whose attraction shifts between different types of attraction. Though if someone knows of one or has their own suggestion, please do share. Otherwise hopefully the above is helpful.
All the best, Anon!
https://www.tumblr.com/aspecpplarebeautiful/815814558247682048/ok-so-im-gonna-tag-my-gimmick-blog-at-the-end-so?source=share
You're all good, I understand it can get busy in life ^^
Since I've sent this ask, there's been a bit of an update
Yesterday I went to Bible Study again... I saw him, I talked to him a little, and we already kinda scheduled to go see an early release of the TADC finale in early June...he even asked for my number to send me the tickets he bought
But I guess the guilt of a lie of omission from my parents and not saying anything about possibly having my first date mixed with the uptick of stuff I've been seeing in my recommended about what guys do when rejected and stuff about alpine divorces has made me kinda scared.......
I mean I kinda implied that we'd drive to Bible Study together after the feature ends, but idk...I mean I don't know a ton about him, I've seen him a total of 3 times since I met him....
And even though I doubt he'd do anything to me, I'm just- scared. And I have some issues with trusting people and in a world where women are more at risk in public, I can be a bit overly cautious...
And because I can't drive I have to at least say SOMETHING to one or both of my parents to get a ride to the movie theater and I just don't know how to bring it up...
And I COULD get someone to third wheel our date on the DL just in case, but idt any of my friends would be free and I think having one of my family members do so would be kinda embarrassing so probably not
I also haven't, like, fully worked up the courage to text him after he sent me the tickets yesterday (to wait inside in case he's a couple minutes late getting off work) cuz like- how do I even start a conversation?
And I think I experienced queerplatonic attraction first hand yesterday, but just- what if I mess it up? What if I'm not ready for a relationship yet? I mean...how can I have a healthy relationship with another person if I still don't fully have a healthy relationship with myself? Are we moving too fast? And what if I friendzone him for a little bit but his crush just fully goes away???
Sorry...I'm. I'm spiralling a little.. I just- this is all so new to me, idk what to do..
@the-state-of-georgia-official
Take things at your own pace, Anon. Early parts of relationships are all about feeling things out, and seeing how you feel and how they go. But remember this is as much about you as him, ask yourself what you want out of the relationship, where you're hoping things will go. And you're not obligated to do anything you don't want to do, or to go any faster than you want to go.
The big goal at this stage is to just see if you're compatible. But it's also normal to need some time to get to know someone and to feel comfortable around them.
There are a lot of horror stories that go around, but usually those are the exception rather than the rule. Especially if you're not seeing any red flags from this guy in particular. But it's always a good idea to practice basic safety when starting to date someone. Stick to public places with lots of other people around for now, make sure someone else always knows where you are and when you'll be home. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or pressured to go faster or do more than you want to, make sure you listen to that voice.
If you're not comfortable yet driving alone with him, that's OK too. Even if you already implied you'll drive together. You're allowed to change your mind and a good partner will understand that. Just be clear and upfront. Bringing someone else along to start is also alright, or maybe you can find some friends to double date with. Though if you're comfortable with your parents knowing, keeping them in the loop and getting rides from this can also be a good idea and will help you feel safer.
I'm not sure I quite understand what you mean by lying by omission. Generally that refers to misleading someone and keeping key information back. But you're not obligated to tell everyone everything about you. It's also OK to wait until you're ready to share some things, not everything has to be shared immediately.
It's OK to date before you have a good relationship with yourself, but it is good to be aware of that, and to be working on yourself too.
All that said, it is also OK if you just don't feel ready to date, or not enjoying it the way you thought you would, and you'd rather call it all off. And generally people are understanding about these kinds of things, even if they might be disappointed.
Remember to do what's right for you here.
Good luck, and all the best!
OK so I'm gonna tag my gimmick blog at the end so I don't forget when you answer this, but-
There's this guy that I met at church who's been flirting with me the past two times I've seen him (at a game night on Saturday three weeks ago and before the Bible Study I went to on Monday).....I've tried my best to flirt back, being arospec(cupio & demi) and not knowing how exactly to flirt back
He's nice, I suppose he's cute, and I don't think I'd mind anything happening with him, but I don't fully know how to feel or how go figure that out, yk? But at the same time I'm somewhat excited cuz what if this is my first IRL relationship what if I go on my first date-
And then I checked the Bible Study groupme sub-chat for prayer requests and a different guy who goes to my Catholic Bible Study but is Lutheran sent out a prayer request for a trans woman from his school and misgendered her and asked for others to pray that she "finds faith", which I'm not opposed if she ends up wanting to go to church or Mass or be close to God, I'm just opposed to the transphobic way this guy phrased it and that he used he/him for a trans woman...
6 other people reacted with prayer hands and none of them were the guy who likes me/has flirted with me, but this now makes me somewhat more scared to tell him I'm arospec if and when it comes up cuz I'm only out to two of my IRL friends...
If and when it does come up, I plan to first ask him how he feels about gay people and if that goes well to ask him if he's heard about aromantic and asexual people and gauge from there
But I was already scared and now I just feel so much more scared and there's even more of a sense of dread over me that the one time a guy has showed interest for me IRL that he MIGHT be queerphobic and that I'll never find a husband who's Catholic and (at the very least)an ally and I'll die alone...
I'm gonna pray about it later and ask God about some things, but I'm just so terrified of rejection, man...what if that's a deal breaker? What if he ends up not liking me anymore if and when I tell him that? What if he's the only person who'll ever like me romantically IRL and I fuck it up?
— @the-state-of-georgia-official
First of all, Anon, I want to apologize for taking so long to answer this ask. Usually I try and keep an eye on this ask box, but the last few days have been busy and I only saw this question today.
As to you ask, I think you're approaching this in a really smart way. Sometimes we figure things out as we go, and that's fine. And asking questions and gauging responses is a good way of feeling people out, and a good idea when figuring out if someone is a person you want a relationship with.
Though I would recommend trying not to put so much pressure on yourself and this relationship to succeed. In the moment it can feel like this is your only chance, but if having a relationship is important to you, and this one doesn't work out, you will get other chances. Especially if you make the effort to get out and meet people and the more people you meet the more you'll find that you're compatible with.
There's also a lot of Catholics out there who are queer or queer allies, Catholicism especially is very large and diverse. Sometimes it may not feel that way, especially if a community is particularly insular, so it's important to keep this in mind too.
This guy may turn out to be a good guy and things may go well, but if they don't remember that that's just how things go sometimes. Try and enjoy the experience as much as you can.
All the best, Anon! And good luck!
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