10 years ago today, I left you at home where I thought you safe. Two hours later, you were already gone.
I still wonder all the time... What if I had taken the earlier bus home? Would I have gotten home in time to save you? Would I have been able to spare you this suffering?
Losing you broke me. A decade later and I still worry every single time I leave the house without my dogs. Because now I know that you can try to do everything right, and accidents will still happen. Horrible accidents that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I've healed some in the past ten years, of course. I have three amazing dogs now, and they take such good care of me. Sycamore is snuggling with me right now because I started crying writing this... I wouldn't have survived losing you without him. I bring them to the park we used to play in, and we visit the woods you enjoyed exploring.
Sassafras is almost the same age as you... He reminds me of you a lot. I like to think he was meant to come into my life at the moment he did, because 10 years later I have this wonderful puppy who is helping mend my heart.
But I miss you, Aspen. I miss you so much. I wish we had had more time, I wish I could have given you the life you deserved.
