How to Provide Criticism so that People will Listen
First off, this guide is not ‘how to confront someone about a serious OOC issue, such as plagiarism’. However, many of the same key tips apply to both subjects.
Let’s start with the most important thing to remember: do not assume your solution is the end-all, be-all. This is not your blog, and it is therefore neither your right nor your responsibility to tell someone how to run it. That’s just how it works. The mun can chose to take your advice or ignore it, but at least you offered to help.
1) Check to see if they want advice. If they haven’t reblogged a meme specifically asking for feedback on character, it’s polite to ask before giving them your opinion; otherwise you may come off as intrusive. This holds true even if their rules page encourages criticism, because you never know if someone’s having a bad day and can’t currently handle feedback.
Examples: “Would you mind if I gave you some feedback on your writing/character/ect.?” or “Could you please clarify something for me?”
If they say yes, proceed to step two. If not, leave it at that.
Anon or off anon? This is your decision. I’ve noticed that some people tend to respond better to criticism that is sent off anon, however if you are uncomfortable doing this you can always send an anon message. Keep in mind that they have to publish the ask if it’s sent anonymously, which might not be ideal for some subjects.
2) Provide your criticism. That’s it? You might think. Well, no, there’s a lot more to it than that, namely how you address the issue. As general rules:
Compliment! Point out what they’re doing right! One of the most effective ways to provide criticism is to sandwich it between two compliments. It provides a softer delivery for the feedback. For example: “I really like the way you’ve balanced these positive and negative traits on your character. However, their backstory is a little cliché, and it shallows their development. Have you considered [X]? But otherwise you’re a strong writer with good word choice.”
Be polite. You can divide your message up between multiple asks, so there’s no reason not to be polite. Avoid ‘should’s and ‘must’s in favor of ‘could’s and ‘might’s. Remember: it’s not your blog, so they don’t have to do anything.
Examine your biases. It’s very important to be objective with criticism. Just because you don’t like a specific thing, does not mean that the person is doing something wrong. Some possible things you could be biased about include writing style, reply length, AUs, verses, content, formatting…the list goes on. There’s a difference between “I find your writing style to be too wordy” or “your unformatted posts look sloppy” (biases) and “it’s difficult to follow the flow of your writing”or “it might be a good idea to research when to start a new paragraph” (critique).
Avoid general, derogatory terms. There are plenty, but there’s one in particular that you shouldn’t use: Mary Sue (or Gary Sue, but basically it’s the same thing). Calling someone’s OC a Mary Sue is almost a surefire way to get them to ignore you. Pinpoint the exact detail that you want to address (“your character seems to be a bit over-powered” or “you often use the same words over and over”, for example)-the more specific you are, the more attention you’re showing to their character.
Provide examples. Showing them exactly what you’re talking about will not only clarify what you’re trying to say, but gives them an example to work off of. For example (see what I did there?), if you think they could add more to their replies, demonstrate what they could add, possibly even using one of their own recent posts.
Actually provide constructive criticism. “I don’t like your interpretation of [X character].” Is not constructive (it’s also just an opinion). Constructive criticism provides solutions to problems, rather than just pointing them out. If you can’t think of a solution, then say that, and perhaps suggest they either research a certain subject or ask others for advice on solving the problem.
3) Thank them for being willing to listen. It’s not always easy to receive criticism, especially for new writers. Make sure to applaud their desire to improve their character. It’s a little thing, but it can mean a lot.
If you feel it would help (either because you’re criticizing something major or multiple things in one message), iterate or re-iterate that what you are suggesting just your interpretation of their writing, and you might be wrong. The power behind acknowledging you could be incorrect or misunderstanding is immense, and will help to gain their favor.
4) Follow up as necessary. Sometimes things are misunderstood, or not understood at all. If you can, stick around to clarify yourself and answer any questions the recipient has about your advice. Follow all of the above steps when replying, and be patient; sometimes you may have to explain things multiple different ways before your message is understood.
Other things to consider:
Don’t immediately jump on muns for ‘underdeveloped’ characters. Sometimes writers chose to withhold information to be revealed later, or to create a certain effect. While you can ask about their development, remember that the mun might have a plan, and respect it if they do. They know their character better than you do.
Consider the reply medium. If a mun is running their blog from the mobile app or a tablet, they may run if very differently from those who regularly rp on a computer. A prime example is cutting posts from mobile. Yes, it is possible to open tumblr from a browser and do it from there, but that can be difficult if they’re working on a small screen or aren’t the best with html. Ask politely, direct them to a tutorial on cutting posts from mobile, or perhaps suggest they have their partner cut the posts for them, but don’t jump down their throat.
Be careful critiquing grammar. Many writers bend the rules of the English grammar in order to make stylistic choices. While some problems (homophones, verb tenses, ect.) are usually simple errors, it’s best to clarify whether a matter (such as a run-on sentence) is a mistake or choice than to assume. When in doubt, consult a recent MLA handbook or a website such as Purdue’s Online Writing Lab, and as always approach the subject politely, especially if English is not their first language.
Big thanks to exphemera and asphyxiant-reflexion for all of their help on this, and to you for bothering to read this whole long thing. If you think there’s something that could be added or edited, I would love to hear from you!
