dumbass diaries @ass-gremlin - Tumblr Blog

Dear Karma, can I ask what your favorite animal is? ♡ Also, I highly recommend a song called "Karma Chameleon", it really reminds me a lot of you (in a good way of course).

ass-gremlin

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NOT ONLY ARE HIS NAME AND FAVOURITE ANIMAL IN THE SONG TITLE “RED GOLD AND GREEN” ARE ALSO KARMA’S 3 MAIN COLOURS IN HIS DESIGN (RED HAIR, GOLD OUTFIT, GREEN EYES)

HRRRRGHRGRHGHRGHRGRH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#cinderella phenomenon

valtsv

*checks you out through the gap between our crossed blades*

valtsv

*winks at you flirtily while parrying your next strike*

valtsv

*blows you a kiss across the battlefield*

acewithaclub

“Are you from Heaven, because you’re about to go back”

valtsv

just found out from my friend that apparently the creaking i hear every 3 hours from the neighbours is not in fact a mattress trampoline party

help-plsreadmypinnedpost-thanks

what is YOUR specific personal reason you shouldn’t be handed the aux? call urself out (in the tags or not. cmon this is public)

#i will play my OWN minecraft parodies #that i wrote and sung myself #no for real #my #minecraft parody #channel is called minecratfluvsongs #none of my friends can find it because its spelled wrong #otherwise i’ll play old nostalgic songs from my childhood #probably the ones everyone laughed at for being bad #like macaron chacaron #or trolololol #i will also BLAST carmelldansen #the hamster dance #and some vocaloid songs like triple baka or world is mine #also songs you’d find in 2000s maplestory mmvs....#dont forget that one nightcore version of youre gonna go far kid with the video of rainbow dash trying to do a sonic boom

i am now starting a new quarantine hobby i am now starting a second quarantine hobby i am now

#covidー19 #coronavirus #quarantine #hobby #honestly anything to avoid online school #i have spent so much on funding these new hobbies #im gonna start making resin stuff and i'm picking up my old hobby of sewing leather aand making myself a sweet satchel #i found a pattern for a fantasy-themed bag and i need to make it....#might also fish out my old microphone and....#do......#something.

ass-gremlin

oh shit no one read my wattpad stories they’re cheatsheets to making me fall in love with you

ass-gremlin

how the BLEEEEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP did i manage to churn out that fucking WALL of tags on a 17 word post . i now know that the tag maximum is 30 because i fucking hit it. only five (5) out of those thirty (30) are actual tags. the rest is ramble. why cannot i ramble in post. why not make separate post exclusively for ramble. but no. tag ramble sneakier to brain. tag ramble fun. new portmanteau created = tramble

also to atone for my trambling crimes i will have NO tags on this post yip yup

oh shit no one read my wattpad stories they’re cheatsheets to making me fall in love with you

#wattpad #writing #fiction #writer #romance #im so bad at thinking up tags and i feel really awkward writing them down #they somehow make me feel cringy when theyre just not??#probably because i read them out like ‘hAshTAg *word*’ in the voice of an annoying brainless cheerleader love rival in a bad teen romcom #but honestly #its like i funnel all of my romantic fantasies into my work to vicariously enjoy them #i actually ran into the problem in my wattpad story where i wrote down ALL the fantasies and #after 50k fuckin words #I RAN OUT #now i just gotta add in drama and shit #although after i write those things down they feel more realistic #so i usually end up being thoroughly disappointed by the reality of romance #maybe ive inadvertently raised my standards too high #and brooding elven princes in fantasy fiction hasnt helped that #but better to have high standards than really low ones and just be kinda underwhelmed or whatever im tryna say #but then with me my type is so specific that i end up having a crush on almost nobody #which gets me really fuckin bored so i try to convince myself to have crushes on people who i dont really like that way #but im super good at just accepting things that i tell myself #like its actually terrifying #i can believe my own lies #i can convince myself of something that i have 100% proof against and just brush aside the truth #probably bc im a bit dumb and i overthink so much that i get confused so its easier for me to change my beliefs #but anyway because of that its harder to tell whether i actually like someone or if im just pretending that i do #and if im def not pretending i sometimes convince mysslf i m?#or the opposite way around?#although one surefire test for that is to get myself to confess and if i become hot enough to melt steel by touch then BINGO

i think back to the time when i was around 10 years old when i would consume warrior cats books like pizza, and when i wasn’t reading those, read exclusively other animal-pov stories (wolves were my 2nd favourite, also read a bear series), and would rp as animals online and wonder

how did i not become a furry?

although to be fair that was more extreme than being a furry because i wasn’t interested in anthropomorphic animals, no, no, no. i was obsessed with full, quadrupedal animals (albeit with human personalities)

that’s a different way to look at it .. . no offence to u volestar (the only one of my many WC OCs that i remembered the name of), path (my WC tribe of rushing water OC), and that one wolf OC who was a theta(?¿)

then i moved onto fantasy fiction that had elves and faeries in it and now i love orcs, just,, more types of characters that act similarly to humans but just, inherently, arent..

i have come to the conclusion that i simply hate humans

#warrior cats #warriors #erin hunter #roleplaying #childhood #yeah it really does just seem that i just prefer characters who are less human #not because i think humans are evil or whatever #the nonhuman characters have the capacity to be absolute shitbags too #oh god that one time when moonstar named that one mutilated apprentice LOSTFACE #like wtf #or i mean just tigerstar or scourge #but i do have a scrap of pity for scourge #though maybe thats just my edgy 10 y/o self defending him #BUT!! loophole #gay humans dont apply to that general rule #guess i just find most humans boring or something #i wouldnt wanna be a cat though #however... being an elf or orc lady......#oh god what if i wrote down ‘consume warrior cats like ASS’ insteas of ‘pizza’

god i wish i were a sewer rat

#god i wish i were a sewer rat

excuse me hOW can i buy some FUCKENING CLOTHES when my style changes

every three (3) days

in this week alone i have wanted to dress r4ndum sc3n3 XD, look like ive come Fresh out of a Jane Austen novel, wear trendy soft lesbian clothes, look like a reclusive Dark Elf Sorceress who may or may not betray you for personal gain nd has a deep sexy gravelly chuckle that releases itself ehenever u do anything at all conststantly making u feel Stupid yet Seduced, & look as if im trying make someboby break down with every offensively ugly piece of clothing ive painstakingly chosen to look as tacky as possible .

i do NOT have enough money for this but i swear on Whatever Forces May Be i will have at least ONE outfit of every style that enters my head or DIE trying

#and just now as i move onto writing the tags i think #hey #what if i dressed in VICTORIAN clothes #or like some medieval lady #or maybe like an elizabethan lady in waiting or some shit #clothes #dress #style #wardrobe #ok yeah that should be enough for ACTUAL tags #hey arent cowboys so sexy #thats not related to anything i wrote but like #their big moustaches that come down to their chin #and those boots #i watched the second kingsman movie and no one can tell me that whisky is not sexy #like wow the way he twirls the gun around his fingers amd shoots people #he can take me out and i dont mind which way

decaygirl-deactivated20210101

cannot get over how one time i tried to write a romantic poem nd ended up using

fecal imagery

like i was trying to rhyme it all the way through and one of the couplets was “CONSTIPATED” and “DEFECATED”--

the,, fucknin, metaphor is that,, , my brain is a RECTUM and my mouth is a SPHINCTER

im gonan b single forever i can taste it

#not even going to use proper tags because #no one should read this #not like i use them anyway LOL #i have better poems so its ok #that poem was good practice for writing/rhyming in couplets #idk what to call my poems #do they count as love poems or romance ones bc like they #tend to be about that stuff but #thats rarely what they focus on #like my ‘love poems’ to #other people #tend to actually be about #ME #more than them #hhhhhrrgghhg #shit i write more in tags than the post #gotta blast

its 7:42pm and i haven’t stepped a foot out of bed and genuinely have not achieved one (1) single thing today im not sure what i’ve been doing but c o o l

#lazy #i do however have to get up to cook some food #i’ll probably become nocturnal i guess #i’ll probably use #tumblr #to record #my #every #waking #thought #because hand too lazy to write in diary #and my posts will only be read once in a blue moon #peace out gamers

today is the day i thrive, for i am a fucking Joke.

#happy #april fools day #still accepting braincell donations btw

ass-gremlin

so i,, was bored during coronavirus and was like “hEy iM GOING TO shAve a SLIT into my EYEBROW” and i got out the razor i use on my fucking legs and

fattest fucking brow ravine ever

and i go

SHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHITFUCK

but me, i like to think of myself as Capable, i think: yes i can FIX this, i just have to SHORTEN it and make the other side shorter a bit and just play it off as a Style, its just a tiny bit misisng i’ll make it ok and it’ll grow back

i make it look decent, then time comes to shave the other side

UNEVEN, UNEVEN, YOU MADE THAT SIDE S H O R T E R

o-oh, okkay,, lemme just,,,, tgis side, just a BIT

UNEVEN, UNEVEN, YOU MADE THAT SIDE S H O R T E R

im in a video call with my friend and im SCREAMING the entire time just nonsense gibberish wails and shes screaming back at me to STOP STOP but SYMMETRY, I NEED SYMMETRY and im having a MENTAL BREAKDOWN and another friend joins and he’s laughing and taking screenshots and syaing ITS TOO LATE YOU JUST NEED TO GET RID OF THE ENTIRE EYEBROW but NO I NEED THEM MY TINY BROW STUBS ARE ALL I HAVE LEFT, A STURDY ROCK IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHAOTIC STORM SEA DASHING EVERYTHING ABOUT

anyway, i look like this now

ass-gremlin

by the way this is me during my video call mental breakdown, pictures courtesy of my friends

#chaotic #help me #i have no brain #accepting brain donations #please ma’am just a CRUMB of braincell

so i,, was bored during coronavirus and was like “hEy iM GOING TO shAve a SLIT into my EYEBROW” and i got out the razor i use on my fucking legs and

fattest fucking brow ravine ever

and i go

SHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHITFUCK

but me, i like to think of myself as Capable, i think: yes i can FIX this, i just have to SHORTEN it and make the other side shorter a bit and just play it off as a Style, its just a tiny bit misisng i’ll make it ok and it’ll grow back

i make it look decent, then time comes to shave the other side

UNEVEN, UNEVEN, YOU MADE THAT SIDE S H O R T E R

o-oh, okkay,, lemme just,,,, tgis side, just a BIT

UNEVEN, UNEVEN, YOU MADE THAT SIDE S H O R T E R

im in a video call with my friend and im SCREAMING the entire time just nonsense gibberish wails and shes screaming back at me to STOP STOP but SYMMETRY, I NEED SYMMETRY and im having a MENTAL BREAKDOWN and another friend joins and he’s laughing and taking screenshots and syaing ITS TOO LATE YOU JUST NEED TO GET RID OF THE ENTIRE EYEBROW but NO I NEED THEM MY TINY BROW STUBS ARE ALL I HAVE LEFT, A STURDY ROCK IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHAOTIC STORM SEA DASHING EVERYTHING ABOUT

anyway, i look like this now

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