The Tuna Creed

[assanx]

ASSAN

"Before I was a weapon I had another name: Bodur."

THE END

Base Kit: Provisioned by the Allied Senate Forces, the uniform under his armour is tailored to his body. Equipped with supplies and resources, Assan unfortunately ate all of his food pills before the battle started.

Armoured: Enhanced by The Eye's R&D department, the voice modulator allows Assan to be more precise in who he targets with his ability, while the reinforced alloy that protects his body allows him to remain nimble and well-protected.

Hashashin: The missing ring finger on Assan's left hand is the only indication of what slides out from between his knuckles. A hidden blade of fey origin forged by his mentor Echor, the memento replaced his own blade after the winter eladrin passed centuries ago and hasn't been used since.

Acrobatic: A shadow on the wall, a blade in the dark, Assan is capable of blending into his surroundings with ease and leveraging his environment to his advantage. Normally unmotivated, Octavian promised him a lifetime supply of cake so he's taking this very seriously and entering x-games mode.

Squad: Paired with Komos and Prometheus, like him Komos' body will break down after frequent use of his power. Prometheus can counteract that, when their bodies break down he can repair them.

Demigod: The Voice Caster, commands given must be followed biologically: die and explode are lethal to all targets. Telepathic, he can communicate with his squad mates and set up a private channel for their shared thoughts to communicate in the midst of battle.

Buster Sword: Nirvaan made it for him, in conjunction with his shuriken and his kunai he wields a sword that is easily twice the size of him with effortless ease. Assan is never seen without it and sleeps with it every night.

[glcssygifs]

josh heuston via gq australia !

[elparaisodetlaloc]

[wardernirvaan]

There was no food in hand nor was Assan sleeping. Nirvaan had decided upon rectifying one of those things and it definitely wasn't the latter. He much preferred if the demigod was wide awake. However, he did have his Switch at the ready just in case the floor started looking comfortable to Assan at some point. And that would happen. It was basically a guarantee. Instead of worrying about that though, he had stopped to go get the other waffles that were just so much more expensive than they should've been. As he ran back up to the tiefling, he held the waffles out. "We could've stolen these if you were there. Do you know how much they're charging? Now that's a robbery. Anyway, I think that warrants a kiss."

[assanx]

A kiss? Dream on, loser boy, it took more than a couple waffles to get past these pearly whites; Assan didn't go passing out sweet, sweet sugar for overpriced waffles. "Tuna-" The waffles that Nirvaan had been holding out were already gone as he swallowed them down and patiently waited for the backup snacks Nirvaan should have known to bring along. A few measly little waffles were nothing; was this amateur hour? Assan started patting the other's pockets down obviously and deliberately as the buster sword knocked around on his back, held in place by the extra belts he'd stolen. "Tuna."

[assanx]

@octavianrising location: Lupercalia notes: hey boss man where's that cake

The only reason that Assan had fought in that war with those big dumb losers and all their loser weapons was because he'd made a deal. Octavian had his blade so long as Assan was given a different cake every single day for the rest of his immortal life. So far there had been no chocolate ganache, there was no Parisian vanilla, there was no red velvet, there was no buttercream, there was no butternut, there was no pecan, there was no fondant, no icing, no NOTHING.

Assan stayed in the shadows, the assassin sulking as he skulked and looked at the phoenix. This was serious business, so he'd leave the tuna at home. Telepathically, he spoke into Octavian's mind, "We had a deal and then you ghosted? Like that loser fool I always hang out with would say: that wasn't very dattebayo of you."

[assanx]

@wardernirvaan location: Lupercalia notes: tuna

"Tuna tuna tuna," Assan sang as he danced to the sounds of Dawg in You as they played on the small side stage while one of the main events performed further up the fairgrounds. Assan didn't really care, he was just here to vibe, have a good time, and shake down Octavian for all that cake that he owed him. "tuna tuna tuna."

[wardernirvaan]

Nirvaan would've been fine with just a peck on the lips. Really, he had been okay with the idea that they would simply kiss for a second and then go to eating the wings that Assan had so nicely bought for them. The key word there was 'them' because the tiefling definitely didn't like sharing his food. Nirvaan was lucky enough to get some of the food shared with him which obviously just meant that Assan liked him quite a lot. He wouldn't ask, but he just knew. So just one quick kiss would've been fine. A quick one. But then the other's tongue was in his mouth and then his tongue was in the demigod's mouth and...oh boy. It had been fifteen very long years. He'd gone longer considering the whole thing with Aurora, but that little bit of tongue was just distracting enough. When he pulled away, he kept his eyes closed. "Um...maybe just two? Yeah, two sounds great," he stated as he leaned back in. They'd get to the wings right after that.

[assanx]

Chicken wings, chicken wings, chicken wings. This was meant to be about Nirvaan and cheering him up, but what about Assan? He'd only had a couple of lunches so far today, and he'd done all that walking to pick up the food, so obviously, he'd worked up an appetite. This was about Nirvaan, though, and obviously, the warder was still a good source of protein, so if he got too hungry, he could just... Assan kept kissing Nirvaan because his cool lips reminded the demigod of cold Doritos, and dinner could wait as long as they could always return to it later. Maybe after a few more smooches and then a nap, maybe they'd sleep on top of each other? Who could say? Assan leaned forward and deepened the kiss further, how long had it been? Forever and a day it felt like, much longer for Nirvaan probably. "Tuna." Assan said as he broke the kiss to pull his shirt off, right there in front of the chicken wings and everything.

[finitewishes-deactivated2024100]

get loved loser, get absolutely fucking treasured

[assanx]

w/ @wardernirvaan

[spotlight-handler]

Josh Heuston | Behind The Blinds (2023)

[thegoodfellow]

"Every once in a while, I feel your judgement loud and clear," Robin drawls as she rolls her eyes but keeps herself smiling politely at the other guests. It's truly a surprise how easily different species are mingling, and she truly does not know if she feels all that comfortable about it. Regardless, it was Meryasek's wish for all of them to be there, and she will be indulging him as much as she can for the rest of the festivities. After all, one only got married once, if they were lucky. "Considering I have an actual home, I truly don't know how to feel about it."

[assanx]

The implication was entirely shocking; Assan had a home and stole one just this morning? People were so obsessed with labels and things like "that's my bed," when a bed belonged to the person who happened to be sleeping in it. Food belonged to the person eating it, and overalls belonged to the person wearing them. Hence, these overalls were his and not Nirvaan's now. "Salmon."

[main-character-magazine]

Josh Heuston | Behind The Blinds (2023)

[heat-sweat]

| Josh Heuston

[wardernirvaan]

As much as Nirvaan always expected that the tiefling was talking a bunch of shit, he had a feeling that hadn't been the case this time. Which actually made him very happy. If Assan was proud of him, then clearly he was doing something right. Of course, he didn't really know if the demigod was actually proud, but it was nice to think that he was. It wasn't like the warder was going to beg for the other to speak in his mind if he didn't want to. There was a reason he didn't do it in the first place. Maybe something had happened or maybe Assan was just too dedicated to the bit by now. Either way, it didn't make him like the tiefling any less. Which was why he held on oh so tightly as they hugged. He didn't really want to let go, but he did because the chicken would probably start to get cold and there was nothing worse than cold chicken from Wingstop. "Tuna," was what he said in response as he tilted his head towards the chicken. "One sugar before the meal then?" Nirvaan tapped his lips again with a smile. He'd try just one more time.

[assanx]

Just one. Assan knew how this sneaky this fey was, one wrong move and the tiefling was going to wake up with his dick inside of Nirvaan all over again. Nope, not today, Assan and him were going to sit down and enjoy this meal together and there was nothing that Nirvaan could do or say that was going to dissuade him from this. "Sugar." Assan repeated as he touched the other's face lightly, the fey was always so cool to the touch, he was like the most comfortable side of a pillow all the time. He liked touching, liked doing a lot of things with it, but no, he had to be strong. This was how he fell into the trickster's deceptions but Assan was a warrior through and through, so when he leaned in to Nirvaan he only gave the other a little bit of tongue. Just a smidgen.

[wardernirvaan]

When Assan's hand had rested on his face, he'd definitely expected the other's voice in his head. Of course, that was never the case with the tiefling. Maybe that was why Nirvaan liked him so much. He never knew what to expect and that kept things so very exciting for him. Then again, every moment with Assan was an exciting one. Even if the demigod wasn't speaking actual words most of the time. A smile lifted onto his face as he just listened to the constant tuna's over and over again. Normally, he expected the other to just be talking shit about him, but he felt like this time was different. This time, he kept thinking that there was something much more important being said. He just really wished he knew what it was. But he would pretend. "You're so right. I'm going to be the best Hokage that these elves have ever seen." He paused, smile still firmly planted on his lips. "Did you want to eat the chicken now?"

[assanx]

Assan smiled because Nirvaan had smiled, and because he couldn't help but do that whenever the elf did. Elf, that's what Nirvaan was now, eladrin no more... Assan wondered if he could change someday too, something bigger or better than he was now. Someone even cooler, even stronger, which would be really hard to do considering how cool and strong he was already. Still, maybe it'd be worth all that effort, he absolutely could not let a brave little dweeb like Nirvaan surpass him; that was just not allowed. "Tuna." Assan said as he threw his arms around Nirvaan and hugged him, "Tuna tuna tuna."

[assanx]

Assan ll Saturchella

I want it I need it nothing else can beat it Hot n' a spicy we're never running done Enticing exciting there always so intiding

[assanx]

@thegoodfellow location: Royal Wedding Reception notes: he's her date because she's maidenless and he likes food

Nirvaan had really planned this whole thing? Planned this whole wedding and never mentioned it even once, not exactly best friend behaviour of him. They even had sex that one time. For the moment Robin was Assan's best friend again as he stood at the long reception table and stuffed his pockets endlessly. He wouldn't have sex with her, not after the Bill thing but they were still friends. "Tuna." Assan said with a nod as he inspected a piece of fresh tuna before he popped it into his mouth.

[wardernirvaan]

Or not, he guessed. No sugar for him which really shouldn't have been all that surprising honestly. The last thing he should've done was ask Assan for anything when food was on the table in front of them. He wasn't going to take it personally for now. Especially considering the pout on the other's face. Nirvaan actually felt bad about it. There was all this chicken and here Assan was actually sharing it with him. That didn't happen all that often so he really should've been taking advantage of this moment. It was best if he did as to not actually offend the demigod. He'd just thought...no. Depressed dick wasn't fun at all probably. While all of that was going on in his head, he hadn't noticed Assan crouching down to the wings and blowing kisses at him. A short laugh came out of his mouth as he crouched down, too. A few kisses were blown towards the chicken and then he looked back at the tiefling. "I know you're not calling me a chicken." He leaned forward slightly to give Assan a peck on the cheek. "I really missed you."

[assanx]

Once when they'd met, Nirvaan had told Assan that someday he was going to be Hokage, whatever that meant; naturally, Nirvaan had preceded to explain it to him without being asked. The Hokage was the person who protected everyone, no matter what, the strongest ninja in the village or something. Assan was obviously much more handsome, strong, and cool, but Nirvaan had improved more in the last few months than most people did in their entire life. Assan felt the other's cold lips brush against his cheek and for the second or third time that day he made sure to devote all his attention onto the warder; his hand went to the side of Nirvaan's face as gray eyes smiled lightly back at the warder.

"You have to be one of the bravest people I've ever met, being around you makes me feel like-" how did Assan say this? "you make me feel like there's more to life than just eating or sleeping, like even someone as lazy as me might be able to do something when I really put my mind to it. You make me better, you make me braver, and I hope you know that someday when you're Hokage, you're going to look back on all this and see that it was just another step along your path. My mentor once left the court of the winter fey to live in exile, but I think if someone like you had been around he'd have stayed." Assan said all of this thoughtfully, but really all he was saying out loud was "tuna tuna tuna tuna" over and over again.