nyssa raatko

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

Sara just nodded, deciding wisely not to continue on asking anything she just followed Nyssa’s lead. Once they had reached her dads place, Sara felt uncharacteristically nervous. She still had hold of Nyssa’s hand, not wanting to break away from the familiar touch her face broke into a smile at seeing her father smiling at her even though he looked broken as she did. “Hi daddy” she greeted him, only now dropping Nyssa’s hand to hug him tightly before her attention went back to the other girl. She asked the man if they could both come in a little while and he nodded, she looked over to Nyssa to let her know.

The exchange between the two was well worth the minor argument she had shared with Sara earlier, that’s for sure. It was probably the most happy she’d seen either of them in quite a while - and for good reason. Somehow, Nyssa felt like she should leave, and let them be alone together, but next thing she knew they were entering the living room, out of the cold, closing the door after them while Sara’s father busied himself in the kitchen. She found herself sitting beside Sara on the couch, hand not so subtly rested against her stomach. “I can go.. In fact, I probably should, all  things considered here…”

[girlxwithdemons-archive]

Sara had been nervous about seeing her dad again but soon as she was in his arms it felt nice and safe again. She hadn’t realised just how much she missed him until that point. They were ushered inside and Sara went with Nyssa into the living room. A picture of Laurel caught her attention briefly but Nyssa’s voice pulled her back before she could get too emotional and/or lost in thought “Please stay” Sara said sincerely “It means a lot that you’re here, and convinced me to come with you”

[assassinwbu-blog]

Nyssa opened her mouth to protest again, but found herself being yelled at from the kitchen about wanting coffee. She panicked, and stuttered out her response. “Oh no, I can't– I-I mean... no, thanks, I'm good....” She fell silent again, flustered from almost spilling the beans per se. Turning to Sara, Nyssa sighed heavily. She was going to use the 'I'm a little tired, I should go' excuse, but instead she nodded as agreement to stay.

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

Sara just nodded, deciding wisely not to continue on asking anything she just followed Nyssa’s lead. Once they had reached her dads place, Sara felt uncharacteristically nervous. She still had hold of Nyssa’s hand, not wanting to break away from the familiar touch her face broke into a smile at seeing her father smiling at her even though he looked broken as she did. “Hi daddy” she greeted him, only now dropping Nyssa’s hand to hug him tightly before her attention went back to the other girl. She asked the man if they could both come in a little while and he nodded, she looked over to Nyssa to let her know.

The exchange between the two was well worth the minor argument she had shared with Sara earlier, that’s for sure. It was probably the most happy she’d seen either of them in quite a while - and for good reason. Somehow, Nyssa felt like she should leave, and let them be alone together, but next thing she knew they were entering the living room, out of the cold, closing the door after them while Sara’s father busied himself in the kitchen. She found herself sitting beside Sara on the couch, hand not so subtly rested against her stomach. “I can go.. In fact, I probably should, all  things considered here...”

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

Sara just listened and nodded to show she understood, keeping hold of Nyssa’s hand still she noticed the girl fidgeting and a thousand different scenarios ran through her head, none of them good. She however wasn’t expecting the answer she got, her face showed the shock though she tried to control it. “That’s um…wow, erm…who? Are you okay?”

“I have a child growing inside of me, I’m not fatally ill so.. Yes, I am okay.” Nyssa insisted, registering the look on Sara’s face, the shock, it was pretty much how she too had felt upon finding out. “We should leave now if we want to make it to your father before nightfall, you know. Are you ready to leave?”

[girlxwithdemons-archive]

“I know, but it must’ve uh…I’m assuming you didn’t plan to become pregnant?” Sara said, cursing herself under her breath for her inability to speak in proper sentences right now she snapped back to reality with the mention of her dad “Okay, yes I’m ready. And uh, I’m sorry for earlier. I know I haven’t been taking care of myself, but I thought if I hid from what was happening it would numb the pain I felt”

[assassinwbu-blog]

“I did not plan to become pregnant, no. But I fail to see the relevance of that fact right now.” Shrugging, Nyssa led the way, hushing Sara from further talking about.. Well, anything, seemingly. She didn't particularly speak until later, when Sara's father opened the door to his apartment. He looked about the same as Sara did, given they were both not taking care of themselves or grieving properly. Although, one thing was for sure, he seemed to brighten up upon seeing his daughter, and Nyssa stepped back out of her way with a quiet 'sorry' of an apology for being in the way.

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

Sara just listened and nodded to show she understood, keeping hold of Nyssa’s hand still she noticed the girl fidgeting and a thousand different scenarios ran through her head, none of them good. She however wasn’t expecting the answer she got, her face showed the shock though she tried to control it. “That’s um…wow, erm…who? Are you okay?”

“I have a child growing inside of me, I’m not fatally ill so.. Yes, I am okay.” Nyssa insisted, registering the look on Sara’s face, the shock, it was pretty much how she too had felt upon finding out. “We should leave now if we want to make it to your father before nightfall, you know. Are you ready to leave?”

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

Sara was soaking up every moment of the touch, knowing it could well be the last time she wanted to remember the feeling. “Let’s hope so” Sara gave a small smile back, glad when Nyssa didn’t let go of her hand she was concerned by what the woman was saying “Oh? What’s uh…What’s wrong? I mean, you already know what’s wrong with me, but I..I’m just going to listen”

“It is not– something wrong with me, so much as... I do not really have the words to explain it, nor how to feel about it, but..” Nyssa’s free hand fidgeted at her thigh, nails digging into the skin beneath the material of her pants. Never did she imagine herself saying the words that left her mouth next. “Well, It is better to just say it, I think? Sara, I’m– pregnant.”

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

Sara looked down to her shoes a moment at that. She knew Nyssa’s father was an unforgiving man, the scars he had inflicted on his own daughter were still in her memory from nights of finding them on Nyssa’s body. Her own scars twinged at the thought and she looked up to see a hand outstretched to her, taking a moment to be sure her mind wasn’t playing cruel tricks before taking it. Instantly, Nyssa’s touch felt like home, a safety she had barely felt in a long time. “Okay, we’ll go visit him”

Feeling Sara’s hand in her own was reassuring, they hadn’t quite had the privilege of touch in quite a while. It felt familiar, yet at the same time different, because the context was different. “Good choice,” She managed a very short smile, before pausing, dropping her hand to her side but not letting the other woman’s hand go. It was comfortable, if anything. “Before we go, though. There’s something you should know about..me. About what’s wrong with me, I suppose.”

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

“I just can’t see a reason for my sister to be taken from me” Sara sighed “I’ve already told them I’m not going back. I wanted to keep fighting for her, but now it feels hopeless” She took a deep breath when Nyssa mentioned going to see her father, taking a few steps forward her hand wanted to reach out again to steady her but Sara fought back the instinct this time. “I don’t know. I’m not sure if seeing me will help or hinder him, he’s already struggling enough”

“It might help the both of you. The least you can do is try. If I had a father like your own, I would wish to spend as much time as possible with him.” Only, they both knew that Nyssa’s father was not a good man by any stretch of the imagination. Sara had traced scars he had inflicted on his own daughter as they lay in bed once upon a time. She managed to steady herself, this time holding out her hand to Sara. “Come with me.”

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

“I couldn’t forget you. My past is not something I can easily get away from, and happiness is not something I am worthy of” Sara said, pressing the locket into Nyssa’s hand as she walked away “I should’ve been able to do something, I can time travel yet I couldn’t go back to save her! Life keeps messing things up for me constantly and I can’t keep going like that. If I only focused on sex and fighting then it numbed the pain, I didn’t have to feel the grief and the demons of my past”

“Some things happen for a reason. They may be awful, and unfair, but there’s a reason. You can’t go back and fix this because it’s supposed to happen. As much as your family and friends are suffering after loosing Laurel.. I would imagine you’ll soon know the reason why it happened. Or maybe that’s just stupid League stuff and I’m really not helping.” Nyssa sighed, closing her hand around the locket and stopping by the door when she felt another wave of dizziness wash over her. “I may go and see your father. You should come.”

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

Sara felt a pang of pain when Nyssa pushed her hand away, debating what to do. Her earlier anger which had been clouding her seemed to shift slightly at the sight and sound of Nyssa, letting her know the woman was really there. “I didn’t even know if you were alive! The last time I saw you, you were held prisoner waiting for death so excuse me for not knowing whilst I was busy trying to save the goddamn world!” Sara caught her arm as she pushed past, taking off her locket and putting it in Nyssa’s hand “If you want to just leave, fine. But know that I never stopped caring, never stopped fighting for her and for you”

“I told you to leave, and forget me, and live a life unburdened by your past. I wanted you to be happy, Sara. This is not it. You promised me, yet you didn’t keep that promise. You’re not happy, you’re not living a good life.” Nyssa stopped in her tracks, caught by the arm by Sara, frowning at what was  put in her hand. “No– this is not mine. It’s yours now. I know you didn’t give up on Laurel, and I know you would have done everything in your power to prevent what happened if you could. But what happened cannot be changed now. She would want you to move on.” She grasped Sara’s hand again, flipping the locket back into it’s rightful owners hand.

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

“Another thing I didn’t get to do because I was busy on some death wish to try and save humanity” Sara said, the anger in her voice more directed at herself than anyone else “I’ve already faced death, I can handle myself. If I just stop then it will consume me entirely” Sara automatically reached an arm out to Nyssa’s shoulder to steady the girl, it was just what felt natural to her brain “Look, I’m sorry, but this is just who I am. I lost everything and everyone, nobody sticks around in my life”

“Don’t touch me. Please.” Nyssa shrugged Sara’s hand away, as she too slunk back against the wall. momentarily shutting her eyes as a sort of coping mechanism. The wall was behind her, and Sara was in front of her, which meant she was safe. “Nobody sticks around in your life? Really?”  She asked, almost defeatedly. “I’ve been through unexplainable hell in the past few.. The past while, yet here I am. Here. For some reason. But, you’re right. You have nobody. I’m nobody.” It was only then that she dared stand properly, to push past Sara on her way out.

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

“Y'know, just casual sex without any sort of emotional attachment. It’s what I do best, then they don’t have to learn about the monster inside me” Sara said, her hands balling up into fists and back again in an attempt to stem her anger somewhat “My sister is dead, Nyssa! Dead, in the ground, because of me! My father has lost himself totally, you were nowhere to be found and I haven’t seen or heard from my mom in literally years. Killing and sex are the only things I’m any good at, so excuse me for just trying to have the smallest amount of fun in my crap excuse for a life”

“I know your sister is dead, Sara! I was at her funeral. I know.” Nyssa was exhausted, this entire thing was exhausting her on top of everything else. “None of this was your fault, you can’t keep this up and you know it. The blaming yourself, the killing and sex being the only ups in your life. Sooner or later it’ll catch up with you.” She shook her head, bringing her hand to run over her face, all of a sudden not feeling too great. “I can’t do this, I don’t know why I came. I’m sure you’re getting lectures off of everyone else, you don’t need them from me too.”

[assassinwbu-blog]

cont.

@girlxwithdemons

“So I wanted a fling, sue me. We’re not together and a girl needs her fun. Much more when she’s a queen, besides she seduced me. Totally not my fault” Sara bunched her wavy hair up into a loose ponytail, moving then to button up her shirt “Look, I didn’t know you’d be back in town. Last time I saw you, you were in a dungeon. And not the sexy kind”

“You wanted a–– fling? What even is a fling?! This.. Does not sound nor look like you at all.” Nyssa replied hesitantly, before the final straw was the nonchalant mention of the dungeon she’d endured recently. And, for a very long time might she add. “You grief does not lend you the pass to become some sort of whore, Sara!” She was angry, not because Sara was with another woman, but because of what she was seemingly becoming. 

[assassinwbu-blog]

birdonawiresara

Finished?

Guess you’re right.

[faerieroleplaymemes]

“Person of Interest” sentence meme

Send one for my muse’s reaction

“You are being watched.”

“I guess you could call me a concerned third party.”

“So it’s my fault that some wacko’s trying to kill me?”

“I’m a very private person.”

“A drug smuggler shot at me with a spear gun last night.”

“High schools are different nowadays. Gang fights, drug searches, and pregnancies.”

“I guess that makes you the brains of the operation.”

“Everyone is relevant to someone.”

“About that… I don’t like firearms.”

“I’m sorry. I thought you were interesting. My mistake.”

“For some of us, human interaction is… difficult.”

“Now who in the world would want to hurt you?”

“I read that if there’s anxiety in the home, it can make your pets become upset.”

“Knowledge is not my problem. Doing something with that knowledge is where you come in.”

“I tried to quit, but some jackass told me I needed a purpose.”

“We solve mysteries and stop crimes before they start.”

“They wouldn’t act, so I decided I would.”

“Bad things happen to people every day. You can’t stop them.”

“I’ll do Google. You take Yahoo.”

“Maybe you and I are connected. Two reckless people.”

“You’re someone the world can’t afford to lose.”

“Don’t forget, you’re behind enemy lines.”

“Uh, exactly what did you mean by “several lawsuits”?”

“You don’t wanna tell me who you are? That’s okay. I already know.”

“You got me a date?”

“Our billionaire gave me a little something.”

“I woke up this morning and felt, took me a while to put my finger on it, but I felt happy.”

“May I remind you that of the many things I’m equipped to do, pursuit would not be chief among them.”

“Am I really that predictable?”

“Once we become predictable, we become vulnerable.”

[run-run-rabbit-run-deactivated2]

ANGSTY FUCKIN' SENTENCE STARTERS

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you’re just making this worse.” “I don’t think we have anything left to say to each other.” “Are you happy? Huh? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!” “This isn’t the end. Just the part where I say enough is enough.” “Stop. Just…stop.” “You have a lot of nerve saying ‘Hello’ like nothing happened.” “I’d say ‘give me one good reason to stay’ but I already know the reasons. I just have better reasons to go.” “I’m sorry…we didn’t make it in time. They’re gone.” “You said you’d always be there for me…so how did this happen? Why weren’t you there?” “There will never be anyone else like you…if I’m very lucky.” “What, you thought you deserved better than a voice message?” “What did you do?” “How much have you had?” “That isn’t water in that bottle, is it.” “I can’t stand watching you destroy yourself like this.” “Didn’t it occur to you that you’re hurting me, too?!” “This can’t keep happening.” “The only good part about being alone is that I don’t wake anyone up when I start screaming at night.” “Holy shit–did you do that?!” “How long have you been doing this to yourself?” “I don’t want help. I just want the pain to stop.” “I just can’t stand being alone anymore.” “Please, don’t tell anyone.” “I can’t stand to lose anything else.” “I’m hurting you too much…you should leave.” “Some things just aren’t worth fighting for.” “I don’t even know why you pretend to care anymore.”

[memes-for-the-rper]

Not-doing-too-good sentence starters

“Whoa, are you okay?”

“You took that hit pretty hard…”

“Don’t stand up yet.”

“That definitely looks broken…”

“Walk it off.”

“How are you feeling?”

“When was the last time you slept?”

“You look like shit.”

“Have you been eating enough?”

“Here, let me help you.”

“Why are you limping?”

“You’re really pale…”

“Did you just go throw up?”

“Why aren’t you eating?”

“______? You’re bleeding…really bad.”

“That looks infected.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

“I told you you’d get sick.”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Wake up–you were hyperventilating, are you okay?”

“It was just a dream, you’re alright.”

“Look at me–you’re safe.”

“Take a deep breath.”

“Are you bleeding?!”

“How’d you get a bruise like that?”

“What happened?”

“Let me help you!”

“Can you hear me?”

“You hit your head pretty hard.”

“Don’t move.”

“I know it hurts, I’m sorry.”

“Breathe.”

[assassinwbu-blog]

girlxwithdemons

“I just want to do right by him, my precious little boy” Sara said, pressing a very gentle kiss to the top of their son’s head, smiling at the fact he was sleeping peacefully. She thought about the name for a moment. “How about Kayden?” she suggested, having always been a fan of the more unusual names. She tried to look and see the picture, tapping Nyssa’s arm to motion for her to show her

“Kayden? I think that’s a beautiful name.” Nyssa agreed, looking at the baby, the name feeling like it was a good fit for his little face. “Sorry, here.” She handed the phone back over after making sure the picture was okay, leaving it to Sara to type the baby’s newfound name and send along the picture to her parents. As she did so, her phone buzzed again, but it was only a faint sound in her pocket since she’d turned it to silent after the first disaster of waking their son up.

[girlxwithdemons-archive]

“That’s his name, then. I hope Kayden approves” she said, laughing softly when he yawned in his sleep she gently stroked his head and the fine covering of blonde fair “Thanks Nyss” Sara took the phone, typing out a message and then sending it with the picture to both her parents. She sent it and looked back over. “Hey, everything okay? You’re not getting too tired or anything?”

[assassinwbu-blog]

“I think he does,” Nyssa couldn't help but feel utterly proud as she watched the minor interaction between their little boy and his mother, the yawn in response to his name and the gentleness of Sara's touch. Deciding to for now ignore the incoming call, Nyssa shook her head. “No, of course not. I might go and get myself a coffee though, do you want anything at all?”