Constantly in love with people who simply can't love me back. Spiraling at the thought of constantly being the dirty little secret. What the fuck is wrong with me ?!?!?!?!
trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@asterjaide
Constantly in love with people who simply can't love me back. Spiraling at the thought of constantly being the dirty little secret. What the fuck is wrong with me ?!?!?!?!
Life is weird one minute everything is blue skies and fluffy clouds the next a tornado rips through and everything is scattered and dark. Last week if you would have asked me I was a decently happy wife girlfriend and mother. And now I'm simply struggling to exist amongst the chaos.
Reblog if you’re a girl who likes girls 👌
It's nice to be naughty every once in a while
I cut for the first time since december... Sometimes emotions are just too strong to be felt... it's been building up for a while, but I was doing ok.. my best friend (whom I've known like 13 years) decided that I was a pretty terrible person and that I was a slut and my life is wrong and I'm stupid and she's tired of picking up the pieces of my broken heart.. I never thought I would lose her in my lifetime... but that seems to be the paternity of my life... people leave... no one ever stays... if she knew how sad I was all of the time she would have left a long time ago.. she saw my scars but never said anything... i knew she couldn't handle the real me.. no one can... my most recent ex also decided that there is no room in his life for me.. his new girlfriend hates me so he doesn't talk to me... he knows every thing about me... all of my vices and secrets... he's one of the few.. I hate telling people who I am... that look on their face when they see my scars kills me... it's never the same once they know.. it's like I'm a delicate flower to them after that.. they walk on egg shells and treat me like I'm fragile.. and then they slowly disappear... ugh I'm rambling off topic.. aside from losing my two best friends work is taxing and I feel like a failure... like I can't do it right ever... I'm trying so hard to not give up... after today though it was all too much... I had a date with someone I've known forever... but he didn't show... I still haven't heard from him... I feel like Lisa was right... no one will ever think I'm good enough to be in a relationship with.. I make it impossible for people to fall in love with me... I'm flawed and damaged maybe even broken... but I deserve to be loved...I deserve happiness.. I shouldn't be sad and lonely all the time... but I am.. even in a house full of people I feel so alone... i really shouldn't put my life out there like this but I have to get it out.. to tell someone... I was doing ok I was finding happiness in the little things... but at this point all I want is for the pain to go away... I'm so very tired of hurting...
Uncomfortable family moments
Im not entirely sure what it is about me that screams please speak to me and treat me disrespectfuly but it happens so much... im so tired of feeling like I should wear a burkka or change myself just so people treat me right... my cousin has been inappropriate with me before, but it get to worse.. normally dont throw out family business but im really struggling with how to handle this... any and all suggestions would be wonderful... my cousin is constantly telling me about his sex life... like I he it we can swap stories or whatever but he gone a bit too far.. he has tho weird thing about about sleep in with his wife... the other day I was so uncomfortable but I didn't know what to do or say.. so I left eventually... by was text in text in saying that his wife was going to sleep with a woman and that she has fantasies about me... he was texting me while we were in the same room.. obviously if you have to text it instead of saying it out loud its not appropriate.. hes the same cousin who is always standing too close and always finds an excuse to touch me.. im not sure he means anything by it but it makes my skin crawl.. I dont wanna say anything and ruin our family relationship but I cant handle anymore of the feeling I get when im around him.... please please please help me!!!
Reblog this if you think a trans person is their identified gender even without surgeries
I need to prove a point to my stepdad. This is absolute bullshit.
So if you think a trans man can be a man without a penis or a trans woman can be a woman without a vagina, please reblogged.
I will reblog every time.. its about hearts not Parts :)
I can never stop posting this. The narrow minded bible fanatics that just look at one small thing in the bible then feed the world with their hate over it. At the same time they ignore all the other silly laws made by man they claimed were made by god. These gif’s say it all.
REBLOG EVERY TIME
Think about those questions.
This always this!!
Must rant or risk my head exploding!!
My friends thought it was a good idea to judge the choices I make in partners.. Pointing out that I date people who suck at life and that I'm too shallow to date a better girl or guy due to looks.. I will admit I'm a bit shallow and maybe over critical, but I deserve a partner that I find attractive... I deserve to have a partner I'm proud to call mine.. I'm not a ten and I'm not a twig, and I'm not looking for those type of girls or guys either.. But it's like a crime to think a girl is ugly or something.. I don't know that I want a long term relationship.. I don't know that I ever want to get married.. But apparently that makes me a terrible person.. It makes me feel as if I should lower my standards because they think I'm not good enough.. I'm pretty much over all of this bullshit..I can't wait to go back home.. Three more days!!
Blah
My mental health break from work is going OK.. Haven't gotten much accomplished aside from cleaning the kitchen, drinking, and smoking... My room is a crazy mess.. And my car needs cleaned and an oil change.. Taking her in for recall work tomorrow.. I'll probably go see my Grampa... He'll drink a beer with me and make me forget my worries for a while... I'm really tired of being sad.. I'm tired of feeling fat.. I've been so lazy this past year.. I've got to get my shit back together.. I've just got to do what I say I'm going to and start improving my outlook.. Easier said than done sometimes
Staying out of bed is my struggle today.. So comfy and warm..
REBLOG IF I CAN MESSAGE YOU AND BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOU
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My dog gets fed up with me daily..