[astradecays]

#ASTRADECAYS - an independent, semi private and selective blog for my ocs Kiyoshi and Hideko Takeda. ( aus include, but not limited to: Drag.on ag.e, Gho.st ba.nd (the characters, NOT irl members), f.ar.cry v. )

A deep dive into : death is an old friend, life has the temperament of the sea, keeping others at a distance, shoving trauma into a box, magic comes in different flavors, compassion under a string of cussing, animals are your dearest companion, wisdom appears in the strangest of places, and learning to love yourself.

Penned by Des (30+)

Affiliated with : @absclutio / @anticristvs / @phan7asma / @vcrtexed || @deusabsentas || @legacysouls / @perpetval || @divinehr / @prim0star || @4thslept / @faithstar / @sinworn

Exclusives with : @absclutio ( Hideko )

memes || pinterest

[astradecays]

i'm going to try and be here tomorrow. I've been under some serious anxiety lately that I haven't put much thought on. for anyone who remembers some of the shit from last spring/summer with my in laws niece? there's potentially a round two with the rest of the family. I'm currently fighting an anxiety attack. just from the small chance of dealing with more of these useless mentally unwell people.

I was going to try to be on today, but every time I think about this situation the fear of dealing with people like that makes it hard to breathe. so I'll be in dms here. I'll be on discord. I'm trying to be here, I promise. I'm sorry I haven't been around much.

[astradecays]

happy pride month, y'all.

[nipsyyy]

“I wasn’t always like this” will always be one of the saddest phrases to exist. And by ‘this’ they mean the insecurity,the never ending sadness,the suppressed anger which eventually turned into agony. It means they were once,normal,joyful even.They ran across gardens and still managed to catch their breath,now they cry in bathrooms and can never find that breath back.

-nipuna

[astradecays]

I'm going to finish this day in coral island, and see if i can't work on some more stuff i owe in between some cleaning. I have three days off this weekend. I just have to make it through tomorrow. i'm so sorry i'm slower than death.... i'm also having some itch to work on my secondo carrd... so. we'll see how much i can fill out before the block hits.

mutuals can add me on disc. ( asarinotsorry ) or dm me here. i'll be around

[astradecays]

I'm going to finish the day i say, but my dog made the executive decision to kick me off early by laying on the controller, unpausing the game and making me lose most of the day. ( It's fine. she tried her best playing for me. ) so i'll be puttering around in dms and chores.

[astradecays]

I'm going to finish this day in coral island, and see if i can't work on some more stuff i owe in between some cleaning. I have three days off this weekend. I just have to make it through tomorrow. i'm so sorry i'm slower than death.... i'm also having some itch to work on my secondo carrd... so. we'll see how much i can fill out before the block hits.

mutuals can add me on disc. ( asarinotsorry ) or dm me here. i'll be around

[blightcd]

The hand on his chest takes him aback, eyes that were closing snap open behind his fingers. A confused look on his face despite it being hidden for the most part as he watches what she was doing. Oh. Naturally. Only strengthening the barrier, internally rolling his eyes at himself for getting bothered at the closeness. Why would it be anything else.

❝Do you truly need to be closer to do that?❞

Not that he really minded, he had gotten used to her company, but a warning might be nice. Might serve to keep his exhausted mind from jumping to... odd conclusions.

❝Barrier or not, that doesn't serve to help the other two annoyances. If you happen to have any spell for that I would find it quite helpful.❞

Anything to get a moment's peace. To not hear that woman's sickeningly "sweet" words to Maric, it truly was aggravating- for a number of reasons that even he didn't know. How he didn't seem to see through the honeyed words, and the damsel act, was beyond him.

[astradecays]

"would you prefer i not focus some of that protection on you?" she'd made a promise to the prince - keeping his friend safe in ways she knew how. though he hadn't explicitely required her word, it still brought the man ease to hear the woman who saved him would make similar attempts for loghain, despite his cool demeanor towards her.

halani couldn't stop the snort of amusement, the flicker of a smirk that he so boldly asked. a barrier that silenced them from the world around them, certainly. perhaps she'd been more open about her disdain for that woman than she thought. "i thought you frowned upon magic that lead to questionable actions?" unable to keep her feelings buried deep enough.

halani moved to sit behind him now, hands cupping either side of his head softly. "an old spirit taught me this trick a long time ago." she spoke softly, now resting their foreheads together and closing her eyes. "just focus on your breathing. it won't hurt, but it may feel strange…" a warmth started at her hands, shifting into the other and slowly spreading, a tranquility to help ease him more than anything else. she couldn't mute them, not without resorting to magic andrastians frowned heavily upon, but she could at least ease some of his stress to lull him into a peaceful sleep. "i can't shut her up, not without resorting to abhorrent methods… but i can at least try this."

[blightcd]

The words struggled to be said didn't surprise him. She knew everything it seemed like, always did, suppose that came from wandering the world. What did surprise him however was the tears that came forth. If he hadn't shut himself off so heavily to the world he probably would be trying to hold back tears of his own. It was a pain like no other to know that Maric was gone, his first true friend, the first person that could get through his wall he put up that wasn't family, the one he had done everything for, the one he tried so hard to constantly protect. Someone he loved in a way he still didn't quite understand despite all the years.

His statue-like front dissolves the moment she mentions failing, eyes quickly scanning the room to make sure no one had come in, before taking a few steps forward. Hesitating for a moment before placing a hand on her shoulder. His voice softening as he speaks.

❝It's not your fault, you haven't failed anyone. If anyone is to blame it's me. I should've gone with him, but I let him leave alone.❞

And that would be something he regretted every day of his life. If he had just pushed his way through like he always did, if he didn't let Maric refuse, then maybe he'd still be here. Maybe his son wouldn't be having to take the throne early while mourning his father.

❝Just like before, getting whisked away to the deep roads for a fool's mission, except I wasn't able to find him this time. The one time I don't mean to save him and he happens to be there, but when I try to find him, to bring him back, he's gone. And now I have to face his boy as if everything is alright, as if it's fine that we don't even have a body to give rites and send off.❞

[astradecays]

halani had been away from people for too long. something she'd noted ( albeit passively ) when she flinched for but a moment at Loghain's touch. Heavy from the weight of his gauntlet, though it still maintained that comforting grip she'd grown to associate with him.

she managed to level her breathing, to ease the tears somewhat; the touch reminding her why she missed him so dearly these passing years. how strange it was that a time of war was thought of to be simpler. she could sneak off to the watch post during loghain's turns, bringing a blanket and warm tea for him to keep the cold from sinking too deeply into him… lean against him and talk about anything that came to mind. a time she knew wouldn't last, something halani treasured while she could… for the moment maric reclaimed his throne, it wasn't meant to continue. not in the way loghain had hoped.

no, he was still too naive to realize the world would never accept her as she was. and even after she ran, he still sought to bring her back closer to him.

Cailan still survives. It was something at least. a piece of her friends she loved so dearly, even if now they had passed on. It was always the blighted deep roads, wasn't it? The things that haunted her dreams, the memories swooping in and robbing her sleep. The spirits anger taking grip on her from the ancient souls still lurking from back then. she couldn't help her hand finally reaching for his, wishing so desperately that he would take the damn armor off.

"the cursed roads…" she spoke quietly, a long pause hung between them while she calmed herself. "i place no blame on you for this. we both know how he got once an idea was stuck in that stubborn head of his…"

halani's eyes finally reached his, the fatigue of all those years truly had sunk in since her arrival. "i will stay. even if this may be a horrible idea. the regent openly using resources from the ferelden army to fetch an elf hiding in the wilds may stir quite the rumors in the courts, vhenan…" she spoke just as quietly. it's what maric and rowan would have wanted, was what she wanted to say. though the words wouldn't dare entertain reaching her throat. her eyes shifted around, looking to ensure they were still alone. a small hiccup, while she battled the sorrow overflowing within her still. "ma vhenan…" the words fell so easily from her lips, as though they were back in the rebellion. as though time hadn't passed at all, and they danced around each other. "if cailan knows of me, i'll try my best to help with him." give loghain a moment of reprieve, constantly chasing one objective to the next. was what she wanted to say.

[astradecays]

writing a couple things before i do some chores. but it's OLD stuff. i'm either tucking them into the queue or posting them, i'm not sure yet. either way. hooray for getting something out?

i'm working on whatever is giving me muse. it's not a lack of interest towards anyone, i'm just trying to get back into the groove of things. work hasn't been so exhausting.

[la1cized]

(  #LA1CIZED )   —     it  is  the  end  of  your  penitence.  it  is  the  end  of  your  sadness  and  pain.  it's  the  return  to  your  innocence.  it  is  the  end  of  a  LIFE  GRIEVED  IN  VAIN  .  everybody  leaves  one  day.  i  know  it  hurts.  everybody  goes  away.  you  will,  too,  i  will,  too.  come  with  me  to  the  rainbow's  end.  come  with  me  to  the  HOLY  LAND.  come  with  me.  you  will,  too,  i  will,  too

                                                      —    EXCEL,  EXCEL

judith of ghost b.c. lore as rescued by mox

[astradecays]

so...just discovered my dog will watch case.oh ...... he's built like my in laws.

[scarbound]

@astradecays ( hide ) said : ❛ You keep saying you don’t care, but your face says otherwise. ❜

                  HE  ISN'T  SURE  THAT  HE'LL  EVER  GET  USED  to  traveling  with  a  companion  that  he  isn't  trying  to  lure  to  their  demise .  it  isn't  that  she's  horrible  company …  infuriatingly ,  she's  wonderful  company  and  he  wishes  that  he  didn't  enjoy  her  presence  quite  as  much  as  he  does  because  it  makes  it  a  little  more  difficult  to  use  her  for  his  own  plans .  he's  found  himself  actually  giving  a  shit  about  her  safety .  and ,  even  more  frustrating ,  he  finds  himself  worried  at  that  she'll  TIRE  OF  DEALING  WITH  HIM .  how  stupid .  how  pathetic .  how  utterly  mortal  and  human  of  him .  it's  absolutely  disgusting  and  he  refuses  to  face  exactly  what  it  means  because  he's  told  himself  that  he  won't  go  soft .  not  while  trying  to  get  this  godsdamned  parasite  out  of  his  head .

but  of  course  she  had  to  go  and  get  herself  hurt .  of  course  he'd  immediately  gone  to  her  rescue ,  claiming  that  he  just  didn't  want  to  lose  a  resource .  but  watching  her  fall  through  a  crumbling  stone  walkway …  he'd  been  terrified .  there  had  been  a  moment  that  he  knows  had  his  heart  been  beating ,  it  certainly  would  have  stopped .  he'd  waited ,  STILL  AS  A  STATUE ,  listening  for  sounds  of  life  to  prepare  himself  for  whatever  he  was  going  to  find  once  he  wandered  to  hole .  a  sigh  of  relief  when  he  hears  rustling ,  a  particular  pattern  of  movement  he's  come  to  associate  with  her  movements .  though ,  he  wouldn't  admit  to  memorizing  that .  he's  just  making  sure  he  maintains  an  asset .

though ,  when  he  does  make  the  jump  down  into  the  cavern  to  help  her ,  he's  sure  that  he  can't  hide  the  relief  on  his  features  to  see  her  sitting  upright  amongst  stone  and  debris .  she  doesn't  seem  too  injured  and  he  finds  a  way  to  SHAKE  MOST  OF  THE  CONCERN  from  his  face  as  he  digs  through  his  satchel  for  healing .  “ i  can't  believe  you  thought  you  could  get  away  with  my  dagger .  i  didn't  lend  it  to  you  so  that  you  could  impale  yourself  on  it  in  a  fall .  i'm  sure  you  would  have  broken  the  blade  had  you  not  been  so  lucky . ”  but  then  she  calls  him  out  and  he  freezes .  “ my  face ?  listen  here ,  dear …  do  not  mistake  concern  for  my  property  for  care  for  you .  we're  merely  traveling  companions . ”  oh  he  is  a  SHIT  LIAR  sometimes .

[astradecays]

she  wasn't  sure  what  to  make  of  him  at  first  ,  truthfully  .  astarion  had  a  many  walls  up  ,  calculation  constantly  dancing  in  his  eyes  while  he  spoke  .  careful  words  falling  from  his  lips  with  nearly  each  interaction  ;  it  felt  more  of  a  game  of  CAT  AND  MOUSE  than  anything  else  .  she  had  TRIED  to  keep  her  usual  facade  up  of  a  reserved  and  mature  druid  who  took  her  role  seriously  ...  though  it  lasted  all  of  a  moment  .  the  moment  the  stranger  shared  his  name  ,  she  spilled  her  heart  of  how  beautiful  of  a  name  it  was  .  showed  the  man  who  she  TRULY  WAS  BEFORE  SHE  COULD  GUESS  WHAT  KIND  OF  PERSON  HE  WAS  .  and  it  wasn't  without  notice  he  acted  a  little  different  with  her  ,  a  little  more  SHY  than  the  rest  .  subtle  ,  but  enough  for  her  to  KNOW  she  was  placed  in  a  different  category  than  the  rest  of  their  companions  .

he  insisted  on  her  borrowing  a  dagger  of  his  ,  an  entire  (  well  scripted  )  explanation  of  why  she  should  keep  it  on  her  person  .  and  though  she  KEPT  IT  despite  not  feeling  it  was  necessary  ,  she  realized  why  he  was  so  damned  set  on  it  when  she  fell  through  the  floor  and  a  drop  to  what  could  have  been  her  death  had  it  not  been  for  the  *slow  fall*  spell  that  triggered  .  just  enough  to  leave  her  with  some  bad  bruises  and  cuts  ,  at  least  .  the  druid  let  out  a  relieved  huff  when  everything  processed  ,  slowly  shifting  around  at  a  quickened  pace  ,  the  adrenaline  still  pumping  through  her  while  she  managed  to  sit  upright  .  (  with  SOME  effort  ...  )

her  ears  twitched  at  the  sound  of  his  voice  ,  a  quiet  confirmation  she  had  suspected  ...  that  he  held  more  affections  for  her  than  even  he  may  realize  .  (  or  wasn't  READY  to  face  ...  and  it  wasn't  her  place  to  push  him  to  do  so  .  )  he  quipped  back  in  the  way  he  always  did  .  an  attempt  to  downplay   his  own  feelings  .  all  while  he  lied  horribly  to  her  ,  did  she  scan  around  to  ensure  there  was  no  prying  ears  before  pulling  her  companion  closer  to  her  .  she  suppressed  the  wince  from  the  action  and  rest  her  hands  on  his  cheeks  .   "  "  just  traveling  companions  "  don't  give  each  other  daggers  that  suit  them  better  than  their  owners  .  "  she  spoke  softly  ,  having  a  care  in  case  there  was  wandering  ears  .  "  you  saved  my  life  ,  my  starlight  .  i'd  likely  be  dead  if  not  for  your  insistence  that  i  carried  your  dagger  with  me  .  "  he  was  rewarded  with  a  chaste  kiss  to  the  forehead  ,  followed  by  a  brief  soft  press  of  her  lips  to  his  .  fingers  pet  along  his  cheekbones  before  pulling  back  ,  eyes  filled  with  an  emotion  that  spoke  of  DEEP  AFFECTIONS  for  the  vampire  before  her  .  only  reluctantly  did  she  let  go  ,  carefully  shifting  back  so  he  may  tend  to  her  how  he  needed  to  feel  satisfied  she  was  OKAY  .  only  after  she  drank  the  potion  did  she  scoot  a  little  closer  to  him  ,  a  hand  holding  one  of  his  .  "  sacrificing  one  of  your  potions  for  my  sake  ...  don't  think  i  won't  keep  you  safe  .  not  that  i  needed  a  reason  before  to  do  it  .  "  she  spoke  just  as  quietly  ,  wanting  this  moment  to  remain  between  the  two  of  them  .  "  i  know  not  if  the  moonmaiden  insisted  our  paths  crossed,  however  devastating  the  circumstances  ...  but  i  do  know  i'm  grateful  every  day  i  wake  up  and  see  you  .  "

[astradecays]

❛ Don’t flatter yourself. I’m only staring because you’re being weird. ❜ / hideko

to  his  credit  ,  she  WAS  JUST  ROLLING  AROUND  in  a  very  fox  like  way  unexpectedly  .  she  couldn't  help  herself  ,  not  when  the  sun  was  warming  her  skin  in  just  the  right  way  and  the  blades  of  grass  felt  like  such  a  relief  .  an  overwhelming  burst  of  joy  pulsed  through  her  ,  and  the  only  thing  she  knew  to  do  was  roll  around  and  GIGGLE  .  the  cost  of  spending  too  much  time  as  a  fox  ,  perhaps  .  as  shortlived  as  it  was  ,  she  still  noticed  an  audience  and  stilled  .  (  she'd  been  SURE  she  was  compeltely  alone  ...  maybe  she  would  have  held  back  more  if  she'd  known  different  ...  )

her  eyes  watched  him  shyly  ,  a  blush  making  itself  known  on  her  freckled  cheeks  .  (  ones  that  were  a  gift  from  the  sun  itself , ones she learned to love as she had many other things  .  )  "  it's  not  what  it  looks  like  -  "  she  started  to  say  ,  only  for  the  other  elf  to  speak  .  "  right  ...  "  she  said  almost  awkwardly  ,  sitting  up  and  brushing  the  dirt  and  grass  off  .  "  did  you  get  enough  rest  ?  we  can  get  going  if  you're  ready  ...  "  hideko  added  ,  the  blush  deepening  while  she  looked  away  .  a  half  hearted  attempt  to  pretend  nothing  happened  .

[milkmemes]

TESTING THE CHEMISTRY

Sentence Starters for muses that are just testing their chemistry and haven't committed to anything yet. Adjust pronouns as needed.

❛ If you keep standing that close, I’m going to assume you want something. ❜

❛ Great, now I’m thinking about you. Thanks. That’s exactly what I needed. More chaos.❜

❛ You always do this… get under my skin without even trying. ❜

❛ Tell me the truth ...did you miss me, even a little? ❜

❛ I’m not nervous around you. I just—okay, no, that was a lie. ❜

❛ I wasn’t expecting you to show up… but I’m not complaining. ❜

❛ Do you practice being this distracting or is it natural talent? ❜

❛ You know you don’t have to impress me, right? I already see you. ❜

❛ Was that a compliment, or are you just trying to confuse me? ❜

❛ If you’re trying to make me flustered, it’s working. Unfortunately. ❜

❛ Do you trust me? Don’t overthink it. Just answer. ❜

❛ You keep saying you don’t care, but your face says otherwise. ❜

❛ I didn’t know you could smile like that. It’s… different. ❜

❛ Sit with me for a minute. Just… don’t make it weird. ❜

❛ You give me the exact kind of trouble I pretend I’m too mature for.❜

❛ Why does everything feel so awkward when it’s just us? ❜

❛ Be honest—do you like being around me, or am I imagining that? ❜

❛ You’re staring again. Should I be concerned or flattered? ❜

❛ Quit pretending you don’t notice me noticing you. ❜

❛ One more step closer and I’m charging you rent. ❜

❛ We’re not flirting. We’re just… talking intensely. Right? ❜

❛ Are you hitting on me or are you just like this with everyone? Because I need to mentally prepare. ❜

❛ I’m not saying I’m into you, but I am saying you’re making it incredibly difficult not to be.❜

❛ I swear, if you blush again, I’m going to start asking questions. ❜

❛ Why do you always show up exactly when I need someone? ❜

❛ Don’t act like you don’t like it when I tease you. ❜

❛ If we keep doing this, people are going to get the wrong idea. ❜

❛ You make everything feel like it means more than it should. ❜

❛ You didn’t have to come find me… but you did. ❜

❛ Tell me what you’re thinking. No deflecting this time. ❜

❛ I swear, sometimes it feels like you’re daring me to react. ❜

❛ Why does it feel like we’re having a conversation without saying anything? ❜

❛ I’m not nervous. You’re just… very close right now. ❜

❛ If we crossed a line, would you even tell me? ❜

❛ Don’t look at me like that. You’re going to make me laugh. ❜

❛ I swear, you bring out the strangest parts of me. In a good way. ❜

❛ Come on, scoot over. I’m not sitting way over there. ❜

❛ Stop smiling at me like that, I’m trying to be serious. ❜

❛ You know me too well. It’s honestly terrifying. ❜

❛ You didn’t have to wait for me… but thanks. I mean it. ❜

❛ If you tell anyone I got sentimental, I’m denying everything. ❜

❛ Honestly? Being around you makes everything feel lighter. ❜

❛ Don’t look at me like you’re impressed. You’ll ruin your reputation. ❜

❛ I can’t tell if you want to fight me or kiss me. Don’t clarify. ❜

❛ You’re infuriating… and unfortunately interesting. ❜

❛ If you step any closer, you’re going to find out how much self-control I don’t have. ❜

❛ I hate that I notice you, even when I’m trying not to. ❜

❛ I said I didn’t like you. I never said I could ignore you. ❜

❛ Why do you always show up when I’m at my worst? Trying to gloat? ❜

❛ Don’t flatter yourself. I’m only staring because you’re being weird. ❜

❛ One day, I’ll figure out why you get under my skin. And I’m not sure I want the answer. ❜

[scarbound]

(  #SCARBOUND )   —   the  AUTUMNAL  REAPER ,  the  stains  of  this  creeper ,  will  last .  the  shine  and  the  sham  entangled  like  SALTING  EARTH  with  tears  of  JESUS .  he  sliced  and  diced  our  dreams  TO  PIECES .  for  the  dreams  that  you  dread  can  become  just  as  real  as  the  BLOOD  THAT  WAS  SHED  with  the  slash  of  his  steel .  now  the  street  walking  dead  was  quite  a  scene  now  wasn't  it ?  for  the  lost  and  mislead ,  we're  PROMISED  SEATS  BY  THE  PIT .  we  will  break  away  together .  i'll  BE  THE  SHADOW ,  you'll  be  the  light .  nothing  ever  lasts  forever .

                                                                    we  will  go  SOFTLY                                                                                    into  the  NIGHT

[astradecays]

"the ocean is a soup... water, salt, meat..." he totally hasnt eaten the wrong brownies. @hideko

she tried her best to separate feelings plain brown's from the "spiced" ones, but it looks like her efforts weren't COMPLETELY successful. hideko sat curled up on the couch, watching a movie when phantom shared the unfiltered thoughts. her eyes shifted up at him, a soft giggle answering while she pulled him into a gentle kiss. "you're missing the vegetables, feabug."

she pulled the ghoul into her arms, wrapping his tail around her and peppering his face in kisses, the movie long forgotten. hideko pulled him into her lap, pressing their foreheads together and humming. "you're so cute, sweetheart."

[ruhlare]

okay but saying “i wish i had known you sooner” — like the love in my heart is growing so big and fast for you that i wish i had the opportunity to have you way earlier by my side, because i want to love you longer than i can do now. my love for you reaches my past and makes a place for you.

[ruhlare]