astrid

it's not that she feels nothing, simply she feels too much.

[tuggingonheartstrings-blog]

Though the cafe she’d chosen had seemed more like a place for socialization than productivity, Bridgette had at least hoped she would be able to get something done seeing as the overall mood of the business was pretty relaxed rather than buzzing and loud.  It was a hope that was dashed pretty quickly though when one of the customers nearest her started to broadcast their emotions so loudly that she let out a pained gasp at the same time that a dull ache bloomed in her head.

“If you could tone it down a bit please, that would be very nice.”

[astridhill-blog]

“You can hear it too?” She turned to the girl, her head pounding. Astrid’s empathy was picking up on everyone today, making it very hard on her head. The poor girl went as far to negate some of the strangers’ emotions for just one hour. It was nice to see someone (hopefully) with the same issue as Astrid. “You okay? I have some Advil in my bag if you need it- I mean if your head is hurting, don’t want to jump to conclusions.”

[mozzafiato-gio]

Humming in understanding, Gio gave a nod to Astrid; letting her know he followed along. “Oh, don’t I understand that feeling. I’m so used to the artificial lighting of my dance studio, that my skin forgets what sunlight and UV rays are. I burn way to easily.” He joked, with a wide and teasing smile; already enjoying Astrid’s presence. “Ah, yeah. It’s a nickname of course, Giovanni is a bit of a mouthful sometimes.” 

[astridhill-blog]

“That’s a very nice full name Gio.” Astrid chuckled, “My skin forgets what outside is most of the time, considering how much of a homebody I am.” She was very pale for it being summer, her freckles on her face stood out more prominently on her porcelain skin. 

[dr-quinn-parker]

“Hmm, perhaps I could be able to help you with that?” Quinn offered, glancing back at Astrid. She had to admit, even she was curious as to why Astrid was so tuned to emotions like she was and what caused emotional shifts. “I’m not sure if it would fall under my area of expertise, but I can always come up with a few theories if it might help you understand your abilities.” She held the door open to her lab, gesturing for the other girl to go in first and have a seat in one of the extra chairs.

[astridhill-blog]

“T-that would be good.” Astrid said as she walked towards the open chair. Nobody but Astrid understood why she was tuned to emotions so well, her empathy was too advanced for her to handle. It didn’t help that she couldn’t manipulate herself to stop herself from having another moment. 

[circevelasquez]

She may have negated his fear for the time being, but guilt was still there, like spiderwebs in his lungs. “I can take Metas’ powers because of my own power. That’s what they had me do for years. But they also trained me for combat so I could deal with those who weren’t my targets but fought anyway. So I killed people that got in my way, no matter who they were, and the ones that lived had their powers taken away. There’s a lot of graves filled because of me.”

[astridhill-blog]

“It’s not your fault directly- I can feel your guilt. Don’t feel that way for something that was not your choice.” Astrid spoke, looking sympathetically at Fox. Now she doesn’t  know the same guilt that he has, but she understands the feeling of CARMA taking away your sense of being- they put her in a coma for god sake. 

[mozzafiato-gio]

“Astrid. Its a pleasure to meet you, and I could say the same thing; believe me. It is so simple, getting drawn into your own thoughts; once it happened to me, and I nearly walked into a guy.” Gio recalled laughing, happy Astrid decided to join him. It would be great getting to know someone new, around Pansaw. “So Astrid, what brings you to the beach on this lovely day?”

[astridhill-blog]

“I felt like I needed a breath of fresh air, everything was really getting to me.” Astrid told him, “I needed a nice nature break, appreciate the earth- you know?” Getting out of CARMA more and more was her plan, and meeting new people was a good way to escape them. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well Gio- very nice name.”

[mozzafiato-gio]

The smile on Gio’s face, only widened at the girl’s timid demeanor. She was sweet, no need to fall into any snark with her. “You’re absolutely fine, love. It happens to me all the time, no need to apologize. I’m Gio, care to sit and keep me company?” He asked, already sliding over to make room.

[astridhill-blog]

She grinned, “I’d love to. I’m Astrid, and that’s very relieving.” This was definitely the highlight of Astrid’s day, most people would have walked away after she said sorry but this man decided that he wanted her company. “I thought I was completely alone in that- I lose track sometimes.”

[mozzafiato-gio]

Gio went to get fresh air and walk around the beach. Though, he didn’t plan on getting in the water; just sit in the sand and start his newest novel. The dancer was sat under an umbrella, shading himself from the UV rays; enjoying his novel when he felt a pair of eyes on him. Not wanting to jump to conclusions though, the blond just brushed off the feeling. But minutes later, he still had the same feeling; so he looked up to make eye contact with said eyes.

“Hello, love. Was there something you needed from me, or were you just staring to stare?“ Gio asked the person that the pair of eyes belonged to; with a sweet and teasing smile. 

[astridhill-blog]

Astrid apologized, “Sorry, I tend to zone out at untimely moments.” She shied away from him, embarrassed about staring at him, though he was quite attractive. “Sorry again.”

[circevelasquez]

Fox let out a slow sigh, lips pressed into a thin line. “I’ll tell you if you want to know. Though you…might not want my help if you know,” he admitted.

[astridhill-blog]

“I’ll still want your help either way- trust me.” Astrid said, all she wanted was to be free from them. They did things and she wanted, no she needed to know.

[circevelasquez]

“No one hates C.A.R.M.A. like they do, but no one is as good at fighting C.A.R.M.A. as they are. If anyone knows how to free someone like you, it’s the rebels.” It was all speculation, of course. Fox didn’t dare go anywhere the rebels if he could help it. “I couldn’t help you with them though. I’m pretty sure at least some of them will hate me for what I did.”

[astridhill-blog]

“What did you do?” Astrid asked, “It can’t be that bad- wait maybe, nevermind.” Astrid didn’t talk about it any longer, it was CARMA, of course it was that bad. Maybe the rebels would help her, considering she did jackshit. 

[circevelasquez]

Fox gave a sharp nod. “I couldn’t let you go on believing they’re anything good. I know what they’re capable of and if I can help save you from the worst of it, then I’ll do everything I can.” Of course, there wasn’t much he knew to do. It wasn’t as if she could take the same way out that he did. “The rebels might be able to help where I can’t.”

[astridhill-blog]

She’s heard only bad things about the rebels, but then again those words came straight out of the mouth’s of CARMA. Astrid was interested on how they’d work on her- how would the chip work? You can’t take it out. “How can they help?” She asked, an innocent tone to her voice. 

[circevelasquez]

“If you’re not now, you will be. They never help people without a long term plan.” The look on her face made his heart ache, but he didn’t let it show. He clung to his anger and to the effect it seemed to have on her. “My name is Fox and I’m gonna do everything I can to help you.” He paused for a moment. “Just know that I’m not sure how much use I’ll be, especially once the negation wears off.”

[astridhill-blog]

His anger sent a fiery warmth down her spine, “I think you’ll be useful, considering you brought this to my attention.” Astrid felt her teeth and her fists clench, reflecting his anger onto her. Her eyes were filled with burning tears, fighting to come out onto her cheeks but she fought them back in.

[circevelasquez]

“Is it worth it?” Without the fear that she had so kindly lifted from his shoulders, the anger he so regularly repressed was burning, mixing with pain and loss. “I wish they would have killed me instead of making me do what I did. They took some damn kid that was just trying to protect people and turned him into their good little soldier. No, scratch that. Their weapon. Their help is never worth it.”

[astridhill-blog]

“Am I their weapon?” She asked him, confused as she ever could be. The angry that she never knew was there, bubbled up inside of her. Were they using her? What did they do to her before the coma? Astrid couldn’t remember anything, she was wiped. “My name is Astrid, and I’m trapped.”

[circevelasquez]

The mention of her brother made him think of Lily, just as he thought of her almost every day. He hoped she was safe, that his absorption of her powers kept her safe from C.A.R.M.A., but he might never know. “If they took you, how can you talk about them like they helped you? They’re all horrible people.”

[astridhill-blog]

The man had a point, how could she praise them? Inside she felt terrible, though she knew in her heart that they helped her. They did terrible things, they were in fact terrible people. “I just- I don’t know. They helped me control and stabilize- if I wasn’t with them, I couldn’t be here right now with you talking.”

[circevelasquez]

Without the fear that had come with the years of brainwashing he endured, Fox’s words came quick and lacked their usual tremble. “They kidnapped me, tortured and brainwashed me and used me as a weapon against other Metas for seven years before abandoning me to die. So, to answer your question; no, I really don’t like them.”

[astridhill-blog]

“They took me too.” She stated, “I was fourteen. Sometimes I wonder if my older brother is still looking for me or if he gave up. I was in a coma for a year- lord knows what happened.” Astrid didn’t like to think about the negatives all too often, it brought down her mood. 

[circevelasquez]

He listened, genuinely interested in what she had to say, though his expression darkened at the mention of scientists. Without fear there to pull him back and away from her as he assumed she referred to C.A.R.M.A., there was confusion and anger instead. “Scientists?”

[astridhill-blog]

“They aren’t my best friends, though they’ve taught me major life skills.” Astrid spoke. She winced for a moment at his sudden change in mood, his anger causing a fiery feeling to crawl down her spine. His confusion hit her hard, causing her to almost throw up from the dizzy feeling. Astrid began to hang her head low, “You really don’t like CARMA do you?” 

[circevelasquez]

It was, perhaps, the first time in weeks that he hadn’t been afraid. Maybe even longer. It was unnatural, of course, and he would have known it was the result of a power even if she hadn’t said anything. “That’s…that’s a nice trick,” he said gently. “Thanks.”

[astridhill-blog]

“It was no problem,” Astrid laughed, “Trust me, it’s a great trick. Especially if someone pisses you off- just negate them completely. The scientists have taught me a lot about control and effective use and stuff. It’s wicked.”

[circevelasquez]

That was reassuring. At least she could understand him to some extent and wasn’t likely to harbor any resentment towards Metas. When she reached out, he flinched back, careful to keep space between them. “Power absorption, but that’s…not the issue. I can’t control the powers I’ve, uh…taken. Right now, if I touch you, you’ll be unconscious.”

[astridhill-blog]

“Ooh,” Astrid said, wiggling her eyebrows slightly, “Snaaaazzy.” 

His fear was making her uncomfortable, it felt like bugs crawling up and down her spine.  Astrid breathed in as she negated his fear, and slowly relaxed the man. “There, now you may be as calm as ever- or until my negation wears off.”