So Hypothetically...
PAIRING: Jason Todd x Reader
SYNOPSIS: Ragebating Jason. That's literally it. Enjoy.
MASTERLIST
"I have a question." She says, hopping onto the kitchen counter, a knowing grin on her face. "So hypothetically-"
"No." Jason says immediately. The fork he's holding clatters to the ground and chair scrapes loudly as he practically jumps to his feet. "Nah I'm not doing this."
"No, listen!" She calls, laughter bubbling in her throat. Quickly, she moves around the table to reach him before he bolts. "Jason!"
"You're not putting me through this again!" He calls over his shoulder, and the way his socks slip a little as he tries to get away farther into the house makes her chest hurt from holding back a laugh. "No way!"
"Come back!" She giggles, running after him, just barely making it through the bedroom door before he shuts it in her face. "I just have a question!" Her boyfriend eyes her warily, arms crossed as he stands near the bed, looking like he's genuinely debating slipping out of the window in his pajamas in the middle of winter.
"I know what this is." He accuses. "You're gonna ask me something I can't win at, then sulk for three hours like last time."
"I wouldn't!" She coos, and to Jason's credit he doesn't make a run for it again as she closes in, stopping right in front of him and reaching up to wind her arms around his shoulders. Pushing herself on her tiptoes, she gives him a kiss, smiling when he reciprocates with a grumble.
And then she shoves him back on the bed, climbs on top of him and sits herself right down on his chest.
"So, hear me out." She starts, mirth lighting her eyes.
Jason looks all but defeated, staring up at her with a resignation that can only be trained into someone. He finally hums in question, hands sliding up her thighs to rest on her waist, waiting for the inevitable.
"Theoretically," She starts, picking at the front of his t-shirt. "If you had to change one thing about me, would you change my personality, or my looks?"
She tries her best to keep a straight face when Jason looks up at her in disbelief. "What?"
"Theoretically if-"
"No, I heard you I'm just-...not answering that?"
"You have to!"
"I'm not."
"Pretend there's a gun to your head."
"I've had a gun to my head before, it's not nearly as scary as whatever this is." He mumbles under his breath, and it's endearing, the way she can't basically see him trying to formulate a way out of this.
"Tough. I'm not moving till I get my answer." She shrugs.
"You're literally asking to get your feeling's hurt." Jason tries to argue, pinching the side of her waist lightly.
"Oh so you do have an answer? And it'll hurt my feelings?"
"This is hell." He tosses his head back, biting back a sigh. "There's no right answer."
"But I still want to know yours." She leans down to peck him on the cheek.
For a moment, Jason is quiet, thinking with a furrow in his brow, until he finally seems to decide to get it over with and rip the band-aid off. "Fine, your looks. I love you for you, not because of the way you look. Happy?"
It's a good answer for what it's worth, a great roundabout attempt to wriggle out of the little trap. She's just not in the mood to make things easy right now.
"So you think I'm ugly?" She says immediately, barely a beat later, looking a little too gleeful and pulling his leg.
"You know I didn't say that."
"No, no, I get it. You love me enough to look past this ugly, disgusting, gross outer layer. That's so sweet of you." She sighs, lowers herself down to lie on top of him. His arms pull her close, looping around her and she feels more than hears him snort into her neck.
"If you're ugly, I'm hideous, angel. Look at you. Set the standard too high." Abruptly, he rolls them over, hovers over her with an exasperated, fond look in his eye.
"We can live under a bridge together?" She offers, smiling up at him as Jason huffs out a small laugh. He nuzzle against her jaw affectionately, lips pressing behind her ear. Warmth blooms in her chest, cozy, loving and safe. "In a swamp somewhere. Charge people a toll to get over or something." Her nails scratch up and down his arm gently.
"Just a couple of bridge trolls." She stills, and after a moment, Jason does too, pulling away a little to peer down at her curiously.
A beat of silence.
"So you think I'm a troll, then." She declares.
"Fuck's sake." Jason shakes his head, biting back an incredulous sounds. All at once, he quits holding himself up and flops down on her with his entire body weight, grinning at the way it takes the wind out of her. He buries his face in her neck and lays there, soaking her in.
"Jason!" She wheezes, slapping him on the back. He's heavy, like a compressed weighted blanket that smells faintly of leather. "You're heavy!"
"You calling me fat?"
He snickers into her neck, and she can't help but laugh along with him.
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(18/04/2026)
