Erik Novak

When you realise how insignificant we all are, how our lives don’t matter in the slightest in the history of this vast Universe… that’s when the fear begins.

[astrooshark]

TMA RP BLOG!

Call me Erik (he/him).

I think I’m finally getting a hold on this avatar thing…

The Universe is so vast and beautiful! :)

(more info and ooc under the cut)

some character lore below:

Erik is 20, the Vast avatar heavily marked by the Lonely. His biggest interest is space, especially nebulae, and his favourite animals are sharks. When it comes to his private life, he’s always felt extremely alone and never really had any close relationships. He doesn’t think he’s good at ‘that stuff’ and even though he doesn’t exactly mind solitude, deep down he craves connection and is in fact very loyal to his friends. He tries his best, he’s just pretty shy and socially awkward (the Lonely is cheering).

He identifies as queer and demiromantic!

rules:

-> any tma rp blogs can interact

-> anyone can send asks (if it’s an ooc ask, please tag it as such)

-> no nsfw (some adult themes may naturally appear here and there, just please don’t get explicit – i want to keep it safe and fun for everyone)

-> no dms (please send asks instead)

mod info:

• adult

• he/xe/ey

if you ever want to discuss the lore or ask me any questions about the rp, feel free to send me an ooc ask and i will answer!

last edited: 2026-06-07

[astrooshark]

[a text from Sparrow]

Erik! It’s pride month! Well, that’s what Starling said. Anyway I’ve never done one that I can remember but apparently it applies to us! What exactly are we supposed to do?

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[ he texts them back ]

I freaking love Pride!!! You can celebrate however you want. We could attend a Pride parade, events and stuff! It’s not a requirement but it’s nice. And we can get Pride merch! :D

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I-

[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erik’s hand]

I-I mean I, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re-

Yes. Yes I would love that actually.

[astrooshark]

[ He doesn’t think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]

I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.

That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

[astrooshark]

[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]

I love you too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]

Oh god don’t do that, you’re adorable.

I have work in the morning and you’re making it very hard to want to go inside.

[astrooshark]

I’m sorry! I’ve never kissed anyone!

[ He giggles. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Well don’t be so good at it!

[They’re laughing too]

How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.

[They yawned]

See? Look what you’ve done to me I’m a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.

[astrooshark]

I’m a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks he’s cute. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

You are! And I am incredibly lucky.

[astrooshark]

You flatterer… [ He laughs a little. ]

I really enjoyed our date, we should do it again soon.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We really should.

[They sigh dramatically]

Guess I’m due inside then, aren’t I? It will be a tragedy to depart, but it must be done.

[astrooshark]

Kiss me goodbye? [ He holds their hands. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Of course.

[They kiss him, pulling back absolutely starstruck]

Now shoo, I’m already missing you.

[astrooshark]

Now I will have to go to sleep all by myself… Tragic!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They rolled their eyes]

Maybe when I get some flowers for you. Now I love you, go get some sleep. You’ve had a long day. There’s always next time when I don’t have to get up early.

[astrooshark]

[ He hugs them. ] See you soon! I love you.

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I-

[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erik’s hand]

I-I mean I, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re-

Yes. Yes I would love that actually.

[astrooshark]

[ He doesn’t think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]

I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.

That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

[astrooshark]

[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]

I love you too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]

Oh god don’t do that, you’re adorable.

I have work in the morning and you’re making it very hard to want to go inside.

[astrooshark]

I’m sorry! I’ve never kissed anyone!

[ He giggles. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Well don’t be so good at it!

[They’re laughing too]

How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.

[They yawned]

See? Look what you’ve done to me I’m a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.

[astrooshark]

I’m a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks he’s cute. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

You are! And I am incredibly lucky.

[astrooshark]

You flatterer… [ He laughs a little. ]

I really enjoyed our date, we should do it again soon.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We really should.

[They sigh dramatically]

Guess I’m due inside then, aren’t I? It will be a tragedy to depart, but it must be done.

[astrooshark]

Kiss me goodbye? [ He holds their hands. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Of course.

[They kiss him, pulling back absolutely starstruck]

Now shoo, I’m already missing you.

[astrooshark]

Now I will have to go to sleep all by myself… Tragic!

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I-

[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erik’s hand]

I-I mean I, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re-

Yes. Yes I would love that actually.

[astrooshark]

[ He doesn’t think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]

I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.

That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

[astrooshark]

[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]

I love you too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]

Oh god don’t do that, you’re adorable.

I have work in the morning and you’re making it very hard to want to go inside.

[astrooshark]

I’m sorry! I’ve never kissed anyone!

[ He giggles. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Well don’t be so good at it!

[They’re laughing too]

How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.

[They yawned]

See? Look what you’ve done to me I’m a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.

[astrooshark]

I’m a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks he’s cute. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

You are! And I am incredibly lucky.

[astrooshark]

You flatterer… [ He laughs a little. ]

I really enjoyed our date, we should do it again soon.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We really should.

[They sigh dramatically]

Guess I’m due inside then, aren’t I? It will be a tragedy to depart, but it must be done.

[astrooshark]

Kiss me goodbye? [ He holds their hands. ]

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I-

[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erik’s hand]

I-I mean I, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re-

Yes. Yes I would love that actually.

[astrooshark]

[ He doesn’t think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]

I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.

That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

[astrooshark]

[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]

I love you too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]

Oh god don’t do that, you’re adorable.

I have work in the morning and you’re making it very hard to want to go inside.

[astrooshark]

I’m sorry! I’ve never kissed anyone!

[ He giggles. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Well don’t be so good at it!

[They’re laughing too]

How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.

[They yawned]

See? Look what you’ve done to me I’m a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.

[astrooshark]

I’m a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks he’s cute. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

You are! And I am incredibly lucky.

[astrooshark]

You flatterer… [ He laughs a little. ]

I really enjoyed our date, we should do it again soon.

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I-

[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erik’s hand]

I-I mean I, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re-

Yes. Yes I would love that actually.

[astrooshark]

[ He doesn’t think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]

I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.

That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

[astrooshark]

[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]

I love you too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]

Oh god don’t do that, you’re adorable.

I have work in the morning and you’re making it very hard to want to go inside.

[astrooshark]

I’m sorry! I’ve never kissed anyone!

[ He giggles. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Well don’t be so good at it!

[They’re laughing too]

How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.

[They yawned]

See? Look what you’ve done to me I’m a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.

[astrooshark]

I’m a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks he’s cute. ]

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I-

[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erik’s hand]

I-I mean I, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re-

Yes. Yes I would love that actually.

[astrooshark]

[ He doesn’t think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]

I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.

That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

[astrooshark]

[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]

I love you too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]

Oh god don’t do that, you’re adorable.

I have work in the morning and you’re making it very hard to want to go inside.

[astrooshark]

I’m sorry! I’ve never kissed anyone!

[ He giggles. ]

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I-

[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erik’s hand]

I-I mean I, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re-

Yes. Yes I would love that actually.

[astrooshark]

[ He doesn’t think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]

I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.

That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

[astrooshark]

[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]

I love you too.

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I-

[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erik’s hand]

I-I mean I, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re-

Yes. Yes I would love that actually.

[astrooshark]

[ He doesn’t think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

For next time. And all the other next times.

[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]

[astrooshark]

[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]

…Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]

I suppose it’s only a big thing if you make it one, isn’t it? I’m a little disappointed I don’t have a grand gesture to go with it.

[They stopped]

Oh my god! I didn’t even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!

[astrooshark]

[ Erik laughs. ]

This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.

[ He winks at them. ]

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except “I love you, Erik”.

[astrooshark]

[ Thank goodness it’s dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]

[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now.

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]

Gosh, it’s beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.

[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]

Oh, and that tops it all. To think we’d ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!

[astrooshark]

[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]

Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.

[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]

You’re like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They absolutely lit up]

You would-? I would love that!

[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]

You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.

[astrooshark]

I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] It’s refreshing to leave work happy.

[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

We should! And we aren’t paying air fare!

[astrooshark]

[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]

Hey– Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home… maybe? I’d love to keep you company.

[astrooshark]

[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]

- @a-poem-poorly-written

[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]

Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, I’ll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everything’s on me!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.

[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]

[astrooshark]

Thank you! You too!

[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And he’s wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]

Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] You’re wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]

Ah! Thank you.

[They notice his tattoos]

I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!

[astrooshark]

I didn’t? I have plenty! Can you tell I’m obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]

I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. It’s my favourite one. I could show it to you– I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]

I would love to see it, y’know, when we’re not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that that’s hard.

[astrooshark]

[Chuckling] You flatterer… Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]

Why are you trying to hide yours?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]

I-uh. They’re. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?

Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know these things were connected. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

But if you do want to tell me, I’m here to listen.

[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]

Well, I suppose there’s no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?

When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didn’t remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasn’t a space that wasn’t covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldn’t do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .

[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]

And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldn’t stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.

[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erik’s reaction]

[astrooshark]

[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]

You don’t have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]

That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess I’m just afraid that there isn’t much “me” to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.

[astrooshark]

I’m… sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]

It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Sometimes, but I think I’m a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but it’s like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, I’ve done my research, but it’s not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. That’s, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.

[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erik’s hand]

Gosh I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!

[astrooshark]

Don’t be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I don’t mind at all.

[He squeezes their hand back.]

You can always talk to me about that, okay? I’m still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can… I hope I’m not being… uh… weird about it.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile]

No you’re. . . it really sweet actually. It’s a weird thing to talk about.

But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.

[astrooshark]

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was… mostly fine. I’m just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?

I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Gosh he looked adorable.]

Well I suppose you’ve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.

[astrooshark]

No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise I’m okay.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow smiled]

If you say so, I’ll believe you.

So what exactly do you get at Italian? I don’t think I’ve ever actually been.

[astrooshark]

[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?

Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customers’ favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow laughed]

That sounds lovely. And I’ll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.

[astrooshark]

[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They shrugged]

He’s not so bad. I bet he wouldn’t tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. I’d miss that.

[astrooshark]

That’s a very fair point. Luckily, right now I’m Sparrow’s Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? I’ve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.

[astrooshark]

Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

Oh! I’d love to see!

Does it have a name yet?

[astrooshark]

Not yet– Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]

Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.

[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]

It’s not as great as your art, I’m afraid, but you wanted to see so I’ll show you.

[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. There’s even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]

Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I can’t believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!

[astrooshark]

[He blushes a little.] Thank you.

And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, don’t be silly.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]

It’s. . . thank you. They’re more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you can’t exactly sell graffiti, but. . . it’s nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.

[astrooshark]

No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.

[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, they’re cute too.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]

Well you are-! You’re ridiculous.

And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.

[astrooshark]

You are not hard to like. I think you’re very likeable.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

[They laugh]

I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just don’t know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, I’m sure it’s not but you don’t even look nervous trying to talk to people!

[astrooshark]

[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, it’s not like I’m not nervous. I just– Okay, maybe I’m not as nervous with you. It’s quite refreshing.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you don’t care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesn’t feel so heavy.

[astrooshark]

I’m so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]

You’re my comfort person.

[a-poem-poorly-written]

That really means a lot. Thank you. You’re mine too.

[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]

You know, Italy has always sounded nice. I’ve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?

[astrooshark]

[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because I’ve been to space so many times and I’ve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?

[a-poem-poorly-written]

I have absolutely no idea.

[They laughed]

I know I’ve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.

[astrooshark]

We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!