thoughts of a dying atheist

it's getting too loud,

[astrristar]

[ stars extinguish themselves out of fear; a beacon that can't light the darkness ]

blue for readers who are only interested in all the important stuff + purple for the more interested readers out there who don't want to read every single word

hello ich bin ash :)

i am 16 no fishy business please and my birthday is 17 june! i am chinese and live in the uk. my pronouns are conceptually surrounded by scaffolding but they/them or she/her work fine. despite my blog title i am agnostic.

irls please don't be stalkerish i swear i don't bite

i post about my interests and also my life and as of recently my adorable jumping spider jiggy. and also astrophotography when i have the time. plus gcses (predictions).

sideblog for astronomy/physics/neeky stuff @astrristzr

my current song obsession is literally all of tw!s - muse

#ashexists - i exist

#ashrambles - i talk and talk

#ashuhashhello - i complain

#ashmuses - i love muse

#ashtronomy - i love astronomy

#ashandjiggy - i love my spider jiggy

#ashexistsirl - irl happenings

#ashgcses - i do FINISHED!! gcses

#ashphysics - i love physics

#ashmaths - i love maths

#ashlocksin - i overachievermaxx

i only really use ashexists and ashmuses, ashtronomy sometimes. i mostly keep the ashphysics, ashmaths and ashlocksin to my neeky sideblog (linked above)

i have also begun tagging semi-negative posts and sortofnotreally vents with #more vagueposting - not sure when or how this started but i think i should say this for the record

[get it? because. the small print??]

☆

ash's carrd!!

this is my carrd! apologies if it formats strangely on pc.

i am a school student about to start doing a levels. i really like cats and typology and sunlight, but my biggest two interests are astronomy and muse. i am sort of an overachiever, and i have a younger brother who supports trump, and i need to piss a lot. i write really, really badly but i write nonetheless. i also have a cat, pebble, which i love and a jumping spider, jiggy, which i love

i have been on and off tumblr since february of 2024, and i have had this blog since 16/02/2026.

alongside this blog and my neeky sideblog i have another super secret other complaining blog. dm for that one.

i am very bad at dms. i apologise.

typology - intp lii-ne 6w7 felv⁴⁴²³ RlUa[I] mxHiDEg mel-phleg

i love astronomy a lot, it is my singular greatest passion and what i want to pursue in the future. i am a bit of a neek and i like maths and physics a lot. i also have an extra super amazing cool telescope for photo taking, it is a seestar s50.

i love muse a lot as well if you didn't realise. they are super cool. and amazing!! my favourite album is the wow! signal - every song slaps and i will not accept anything otherwise. my favourite song is either explorers or futurism or the dark forest or space debris think. but i like all of them and have been obsessed with all of their songs at one point or another

i will consider liking another thing as much as astronomy or muse, is what i would say if that was true.

music i like includes: adrianne lenker, alex g, arctic monkeys, big thief, blondie, blur, c418, the cardigans, csh, cavetown, cas, the cure, david bowie, dazey and the scouts, deftones, the dresden dolls, duster, fiona apple, fleetwood mac, foo fighters, gorillaz, heavenly, jeff buckley, laufey, mac demarco, marina, mars argo, mccafferty, mitski, MUSE MUSE muse muse muse, muse, muse, nastyona, pavement, phoebe bridgers, radiohead, soundheaven, the smashing pumpkins, the smiths, the strokes, tv girl, weezer

varying media i like includes: alien stage, bbc sherlock, cookie run kingdom, dead poets society, dr who, evangelion, geometry dash, good pizza great pizza, heathers the musical, interstellar, komi can't communicate, minecraft, my little pony, project hail mary, project sekai, searching for a world that doesn't exist, suzume, the big bang theory, the martian, the metamorphosis, the perks of being a wallflower, the queen's gambit, the theory of everything, tomodachi life: living the dream

talk to me please i am lonely and cool!! i will always follow back unless your blog has no discernible content that allows me to determine that you are not a porn bot. or if you support trump or something like that

i will block you if you post triggering content with no warning, if you are a scammer, if you are a pedophile, or if the existence of your blog generally infuriates me.

if i have an account on anything my username will be astrristar. except for my spotify

secret creatives blog @inkstellation

"And we're not out of the tunnel / I bet you, though, there's an end" - I Will, Mitski

[tearstaineddangel]

when i get 0 likes i feel so niche

[astrristar]

added a new widget to my homescreen do we like

[astrristar]

boo

[astrristar]

he just a 😭 cutie 😭

[gigglybumbug]

randomly getting intensely interested in some bullshit like

[astrristar]

right that dream was interesting but not in the i'dgetcancelled way

i had a dream that we were doing a public speaking class and there were two ashes and then the teacher running it which happened to be my old unknown subject teacher called up me right after the other ash and i tried to speak but it didn't work and then everyone started speaking over me about my topic and better than me and i ended up being driven to tears and asked to sit back down and she said no

i could hear everyone talking about my topic better than me and reading off notes they had that i didn't have, so then i sat in front of her desk head on so the class couldn't see me i was crying and i could feel my shoulders shaking so she let me sit down and i was in between two people who i don't really like

then my old teacher came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder lightly while my face was in my hand and i was sobbing and i jumped really hard and she said she was sorry and she felt for forcing me to speak but i would have to speak in the second lesson of the double and it wasn't negotiable because it was a necessary thing for english

so i went home and the home was kinda customisable like a sims house, and i had a bath and the water was cold and then i got an email saying she was sorry for forcing me to speak and that something could be sorted out and i wanted to respond but ended up not responding and i realised my ancestry was kaiser wilhelm iii. the end

[hasfledtothestars]

im still waiting for somebody to make a Phm x be with you edit btw.

[astrristar]

have u listened to any voice coils songs🤫🤫

i have not no😢 i have heard of them though are they good????....,,,

[astrristar]

what were ur thoughts on mitskis latest album👀👀 +fav song?

NOTHINFSABOUT TO AHPPEN TO ME

i loved it omg it was veryvery nice.. my favourite songS are instead of here and lightning, closely followed by cats

i especially liked the link between cats and instead of here ("i won't leave you cause i still love you" -> "if i leave somebody else will love you") and i have no least favourite song the album was immaculate i loved it so so so much

how about you 👀

[astrristar]

you seem so smart i hope you're proud of yourself

thank you 🥹

i am passionate about physics and maths which apparently makes me appear smart... tis why i have a neeky sideblog in the first place

[astrristar]

doing maths at 2am hashtag sane hashtag locked in

[astrristar]

why wasn't this posted on the neeky sideblog

[astrristar]

doing maths at 2am hashtag sane hashtag locked in

[prettyasdecay]

i'm all used up, pretty boy, over and over again

[astrristar]

i recommend starting a backupnotebookforifyoueverloseyourmemoryandneedsomethingreliabletofigureoutyouridentity notebook

[astrristar]

i love him omg

[astrristar]

my tags are so uncreafivs i think like ashexists.. yeah duh i exist

[astrristar]

should i be scared that i can't imagine myself liking a guy like at all