Pages & Pictures

The musings of A. T. Baron - children's book author & illustrator, zoologist, and owner of Otter Things™ - when I'm not busy enlisting critters to help me take over the world.

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Fortune Cookie Friday: Good Ways To Be Good

Are you a good person? I don’t doubt that many of us think that we at least try to be good people. Our parents, teachers, and religious leaders instruct us to be good and do good works. There are quite a few good ways to be good. All of them entail a certain amount of selflessness and are worth the effort. What Goes Around, Comes Around You may have heard the saying, “What goes around, comes around.” This premise encourages us to do good things if we want to have good happen to ourselves. Karma is very much like this. It is very cause and effect. An example of this type of benevolence is helping a neighbor shovel the sidewalk in hopes of them doing the same for you the next time. Another example is donating money to worthy causes that count as a tax deduction. Everyone wins. Of course, karma can work negatively too, so one needs to be careful not to harm anyone or screw up. A little positive or negative reinforcement can encourage us to do the right thing from time to time, but it isn’t always the best reason to do something? Doing good deeds only to get something in return can appear more selfish than selfless. Paying It Forward Another way of doing good deeds is by “paying it forward.” The simplest way to explain this premise is when someone does something for you, you pass it on to another person instead of paying that person back directly. There are stories of someone buying a coffee for the next person in the drive-through or teaching business skills they developed over the years to entrepreneurs. The good deed doesn’t get anything in return, but the encouragement of doing good deeds is passed on to the next person. Usually, people get some recognition for paying it forward, but not always. Paying it forward is a noble pursuit, and our world would be a better place if more people considered it. Simple Act of Kindness Good deeds don’t have to be huge, elaborate plans. Sometimes the smallest of actions can improve the world around us. The more selfless you are about them, the better. Some examples of these deeds are, holding the door open for the person behind you, picking up something someone else dropped, or throwing away the trash next to the public garbage can. Sometimes just smiling at someone when you make eye contact can be a good deed. Practicing tiny acts of kindness every day can slowly transform them into everyday actions and good habits. Just as when someone sneezes, and we say “God bless you,” we can automatically perform simple good deeds and not need an affirmation. No matter the type of good deed we choose, we should consider doing more of them. Don’t worry too much about the intention. We may never be able to be perfect, but we can easily be good people. Read the full article

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Fortune Cookie Friday: The Evolution of Hands

The human species has made many advancements over other mammals and primates. We have enormous brains in relation to our body size. This size allows us the ability to solve complex problems and speak languages. We also evolved to walk upright on two legs. This adaptation gave us the advantage to walk longer distances, see farther, and carry items in our hands. The human hand is the most-dexterous of all primates, as well. Besides having opposable thumbs like other primates, we can touch our thumb pad to every other finger pad on the same hand. This unique ability enables us to grasp items and gives us fine motor skills to create complicated tools, write, and play instruments. Our hands are versatile at helping us perform many tasks and helping others, but we can also use our hands to hurt others.

The author didn't necessarily write today's fortune about hands, but the saying can easily relate to them, just as it can relate to our actions or words. The quote comes from Gilbert K. Chesterton and his book, Charles Dickens: The Last Of The Great Men (1906). He wrote, "There is a great man who makes every man feel small. But the real great man is the man who makes every man feel great." People can be cruel, especially in competitive situations. Some people believe that the only way to the top is by tearing others down. It should be easy to see how someone could use their hands to do just that. We can use our hands to push people down, punch them in the gut, or slap them in the face. If we want to be less physical, we could use rude hand gestures to hurt someone's feelings. One of the most passive-aggressive gestures we use is dismissing someone with a wave. Our hands can be tools or weapons, depending on how we treat each other. We can hold hands with the ones we love and shake the hands of people we first meet. We can use our hands to communicate in sign language or give directions. We can even gain insight into others and their health by inspecting their hands.

Social media has even created multiple hands in different positions of various ethnicities to help us get the point across with the push of an emoji. Yet even these pictures can mean kindness or criticism depending on their context. How can humans become that "real great man" Chesterton wrote about? Are we capable of using our hands to help others more often than harm them? Perhaps it takes more than just our hands. Before we can even consider moving a muscle, we have to initiate the motion in our brains. There is a complex system of neural impulses that control what we do. We also have to question if our intentions come from our hearts. If we want to use our hands effectively and helpfully, we must evolve past the hate, anger, and distrust. The ancient comic playwright Terence wrote, "Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto." It roughly translates to "I am human, and I think nothing human is alien to me."

We all feel pain, anxiety, love, and kindness. We don't have to experience the exact same lives to empathize with each other. We are all human, and we should want what's best for all of us. The only way we can do that is to give the best of ourselves to each other. And that begins by giving each other a hand. Read the full article

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Choosing Social Platforms

Social media is a fantastic way for writers and illustrators to reach their audiences. When I created my website back in 2008, I shared my content with the few social platforms I felt were convenient. The number and type of platforms evolved over time, and I found a special niche for myself. Although it is essential to use social media to reach a wider audience, there is such a thing as marketing on too many social media platforms. Online marketing influencers recommend everything from 2 to 11, depending on your field. Jeff Bullas wrote, "There isn’t a simple answer to that question but it is more a matter of the resources that you have available, both in time and money to engage in Social Media effectively." The time and energy needed to address each of my sites have grown daunting, even with programs that auto-post and sync with each other. Honestly, I think there are more platforms than coffee shops. Here are the platforms I am currently using and why: LinkedIn Since I perform illustration services for hire to authors interested in self-publishing, I needed a platform that functioned for the professional duties of my business. LinkedIn serves me well in that capacity. It also helps with my Otter Things® shop. I can engage with authors, illustrators, book store owners, and more. One additional item I liked about LinkedIn was the lack of miscellaneous banter that other platforms had. Although, I have noticed more posts of that type creeping into my home feed lately. Facebook & Instagram I found a comfortable place on Facebook and Instagram. I combined the two platforms because they are now both owned by Facebook, Inc, now Meta. They also sync with each other, and the main company offers a business portal to manage both accounts in one spot. The platforms offer nice formats to share my writing, illustration, and photography. I frequently post extra tidbits about new works in progress, tools of my trades, and about my wild animal coworkers who visit my yard and distract me from my work. While Instagram is great for sharing illustrations and photos, Facebook has a better look for the written word. Of course, a lot of my pictures end up there too. Twitter Twitter is handy for engaging with other writers, editors, and agents, especially during special writing events. Although, I hate having to keep my tweets brief. I was thrilled when they increased the character count from 180, but I still can't get everything I want into a tweet, and my crazy brain can't figure out how to link them together. Twitter is also a place where people tweet often—I mean freakishly often. Many people engage every hour or half-hour. This may be fine for some #pitmad Pitch Wars, but I can't keep up with that demand every day. Heck, I don't text that much to my family. Lately, the platform has become unfriendly, and as much as I spout about taking on adversity, sometimes you have to turn and walk away for sanity's sake. I have taken to only engaging politely with friendly people and trying to be a good role model. Fingers crossed. Pinterest Pinterest was a site my daughter got me onto back in 2015. It's a cornucopia of inspiration. The platform allows me to muse widely, from writing prompts and illustration styles to character studies and storyboarding. I use multiple hidden boards for inspiration on current works in progress. I don't engage as much as I should on the site. I tend to forget about it from time to time, especially when I'm in a creative rut. It's only when I turn to it for ideas that I remember I should post more. Tumblr Tumblr was one of the first sites I stumbled on, and it gave me an additional outlet to spread my wings. It is a social platform and blogging site, and I initially considered using it over my website. It has some pleasant options to modify colors and layout, but I wanted to stand out from the crowd. Besides, every author should have a specific website to show off their books and possibly make some sales. YouTube Yeah, I even have a YouTube account. I don't have much on it currently. Most of my videos are sappy things of my kids and any long-form about wildlife. I don't know if I will post much more on YouTube with the available Instagram and Facebook video options. Will I keep it? Probably. It's nice to share my Backyard Adventures. Alignable This platform is more for local small business engagement. I barely use it now, but I plan to ramp up my connections in the near future. I find that my local associations have been more rewarding lately. MeWe MeWe is a Facebook alternative that I just joined. It's a great site to engage with others, but I don't see it as an excellent option for marketing my work. I'm still digging into the platform and assessing if it will be a keeper. Goodreads I don't use Goodreads as a social site. For me, the platform works best as a simple place to display my published books and read reviews. There are also various groups to join and section to keep track of books to read. There is a spot to share blog posts, but I have to go there and paste in the information every time I post something on my website. It isn't very efficient. Social Platform Assessment As you can see, I have a lot on my plate. I was stunned as I wrote this post and realized just how many I had. Good grief! What was I thinking? When it comes to time management, one has to kill their darlings. Trying to keep up with engagements on all these platforms has made me reevaluate how I devote my valuable writing time. You will eventually have to cull the herd, but how do you go about it? What To Drop I recommend looking at the analytics of each site. You can usually find that in the settings somewhere. Every platform is different, so you may have to look around. Once you find the area that contains all the stats, check where engagement slumps. If you see a trend of audience engagement trailing off, this is a sign that you should change things up or ditch it. The audience's character matters too. Many of the platforms started almost ten years ago. That audience most likely changed. If you're still reaching out to the same peeps, you're probably okay. If you notice that they aren't in the correct demographic anymore, you may want to tweak your posts or call it quits. It would be best to consider how much time you enjoy spending scrolling the feeds of any of your platforms. If you don't like it or use it often, it will show when you post. Marketing isn't always fun, but you should feel comfortable on a platform when talking about yourself. Conclusion I researched all my platforms and had a difficult time choosing. I wish I could keep them all. Unfortunately, Tumblr has fallen to the wayside for me. Although my website posts to it automatically, I rarely write directly on the platform. It's been ages since I checked my feed, and most of what people share is okay, but not necessarily my taste. I'll be phasing off the platform as soon as I find out how to download my information. Of course, that still leaves me with a lot of platforms to keep up with. Over time, I will have to kick more to the curb if they don't benefit me. I can run my analysis and if any other social media platforms fail, they will join Tumblr in the bin. There are always new popular platforms popping up. Some look interesting, and others don't fit my niche. I probably won't be adding additional sites to my list anytime soon. I think I should keep things simple for now. If you're one of my Tumblr connections and don't want to lose touch, or you want to check out what I'm doing on the web, you can find me at all the links below.   - Facebook - Facebook - Instagram - Twitter - Pinterest - Goodreads - Tumblr - LinkedIn - YouTube Read the full article

[atbaron]

Fortune Cookie Friday: Lean Into Adversity

I banged my knee into the corner of the coffee table the other day. The pain was excruciating, and I cursed more than I would like to admit. I almost wished I had kept on the baby-proofing bumpers from twenty years ago. Nonetheless, I now know I should pay a little more attention when walking with my hands full. This experience of learning through adversity is similar to how my children discovered many important bits of information. No matter how many times I warned them of danger or wanted to protect them from making a mistake, they still needed to learn it for themselves. Hot pots on the stove can burn your fingers if you touch them. The cat would hiss and scratch you if you poked her while napping. And this little tidbit: if you eat the last of Mom's cookies, as opposed to snatching one or two when there's too many to count, it will elicit a thorough investigation and likely get you grounded. We learn and grow through adversity in life. Every mistake, stumble, or fall allows us a moment to recognize our limits in the world around us and reevaluate how to live and become better people. There are numerous examples of how living with adversity can create wondrous things. Take our fortune for today. Plants are very responsive to stimuli, such as light, moisture, and nutrients. Because of gravitropism, a type of movement or growth plants make in response to gravity, the tops of plants generally grow straight up, and the roots grow straight down. Strong gusts and persistent winds push trees away from their natural vertical state. This negative force causes the tree's growth to curve upright and increases the roots' growth to improve stability. The roots on a tree are generally stronger and deeper on the side of the prevailing winds to prevent it from toppling over. Trees are very resilient and evolved through adversity. Grapevines are another plant that can handle harsh times. In fact, some of the rockiest hillsides and slate or sandy soils can yield the highest quality wines. In good conditions, vines grow standard root structures and use most of the nutrients for making lots of leaves for photosynthesis. In poor soil, roots have to work harder and branch off to gather more nutrients. This increase of root surface area helps them absorb nutrients and regulate water absorption. The struggling vine will put more nutrients into producing the fruit instead of a bunch of green leaves. The resulting grapes are sweeter and full of flavor—perfect for wine. If trees and grapes don't seem interesting, then consider the formation of diamonds. The expensive gems don't get to be the hardest material found on Earth by taking it easy. Carbon endures extreme pressure and heat deep in the mantle layer of our planet before the crystalline lattice structure of a diamond forms. A million years ago, volcanic eruptions moved the diamonds closer to the surface, where erosion, geological shifts, and other events scattered them over time until someone excavated them. A diamond goes through all that and comes out stronger for it. No wonder we find them so precious. People are precious too, especially our children. We do everything we can to love them and protect them. We even go to the lengths of installing baby bumpers on furniture and gates by stairs. Unfortunately, as much as we can baby-proof our homes, we can't baby-proof life. It isn't easy watching a child fall and scrape their knees, choose not to study and fail a test, or deal with a broken heart. We may feel compelled to reach out and grab their hand every time they struggle or try to cushion the blow, but then they won't learn what they can handle on their own. Coddling them won't give them the knowledge and skills they will need for the future, but leaning into adversity will. The best we can do is patiently wait with our hands held open, ready for when they want to reach back. Read the full article

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Playing With Pastels

I've been working with pastels lately since I bought a new set last year. My old collection of dried-out, tiny bits needed a replacement. Whenever I switch med

Working with pastels has its positives and negatives. I recommend experimenting to find what type and brand you like best.

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Fortune Cookie Friday: It’s Okay to Just Say No

Even though I work from my home, that doesn't mean it insulates me from the stresses of life. Granted, I don't have to drive to an office or shop or work for someone else, but I can't shirk my responsibilities either. Our duties at work and home keep us moving throughout the day. We have to earn money, pay bills, do the laundry, etc. Life is full of things to do, but we tend to load too much onto our plates. Everything from volunteering to keeping up with the Jones' can take its toll. Even if we have a spouse or partner helping us out, we can easily run ourselves ragged trying to fit everything in every day. Throw in the chaos of the pandemic, and life can feel overwhelming to the point of breaking. Sometimes all we can do is scream, "Enough!" We find it harder and harder to drag ourselves out of bed in the morning. We lose our temper over the silliest of conflicts. We feel alone and unable to cope with all the pressure—much of it self-induced. Enough! Other people tell us how to work and live. They tell us what shows to watch, music to listen to, and friends to have. It doesn't matter if these people are family, coworkers, or politicians. They point in a direction, and we plod along because we are at our wit's end. Enough! As much as we need to work, we also have a duty to feed our bodies, minds, and souls. We can't work at peak proficiency or help others if we can't help ourselves first. It's also our responsibility to perform self-maintenance and no one else's. Sure, we can seek help with some of it, but we need to recognize when we are tired, hungry, and lost. We should feel comfortable saying, "No." Then, we can work on remedying the situation.   Now, that remedy will be different for each of us. I enjoy being outside with nature as a source of solace. Others prefer reading a good book, playing sports, or chatting with friends. What matters most is that we put the stresses behind us for a portion of the day (every day) and focus on ourselves. This focus does not mean we should be selfish, just self-aware. Think of the human body as an automobile. We need to service our cars now and then, check the fluids, and fill the tank. Even small things like checking the tire tread can keep us from having an accident. It also helps to give our cars a good wash and polish to protect the paint. These services are no different from what we should be doing for ourselves. A body's recommended maintenance and a little pampering can keep us running in tip-top shape for many years. I try to take good care of myself. I exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet, and try not to overdo physical or technological vices. I'm usually up every early morning and at my desk, ready to get as much work done as necessary. A good routine is essential for someone who works in or away from home, but we can still get sick, injured, or make mistakes even with that preparedness. Luckily, our maintenance helps prevent bad times—which will inevitably happen—from being worse. When I am under the weather or recovering from an injury, I can stay the course and get back on my feet sooner because I took the time to care for myself. All it took was saying no to the chaos that I couldn't handle, and it's is a small price to pay when enough is enough. Read the full article

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Fortune Cookie Friday: Clime Every Mountain

“All men are created equal” was a central idea in the Declaration of Independence. Equality in this essence is everyone having the same fundamental rights, no matter the circumstance. Just because we are all equal under the law doesn’t mean that we are all equal in form and ability. Some of us are short. Others are tall. Some can give birth to children, and others can’t. Some people can type 100 words per minute, while others hunt and peck at the keyboard. People are as varied as we are plentiful on this planet. There is a good reason for that too. A diverse species are better able to survive external stressors rather than become extinct. The differences in our species also keep life and the world around us more interesting.

Unfortunately, some people believe it is unfair that we are unequal or diverse. They think that we all should receive the same outcome in life. There has been a lot of talk about equity lately. In our country, everyone has equality of opportunity. This premise “requires only that people be free from certain obstacles to pursue their own happiness and success.” It is not to be confused with equality of outcome, which “insists that everyone do equally well with respect to some of the goods that individuals value, regardless of their effort, talents, and whether they wish to pursue it.” The man in today’s fortune didn’t fall on top of the mountain. Success does not come automatically to those who don’t try. People who reach great heights are people who work hard and struggle to get there. It may be easier for some because they have longer, stronger legs. Perhaps they chose to walk rather than run. Maybe they stopped and devised a machine that could do the work for them.  

Nonetheless, it takes patience, persistence, and hard work to be successful at anything. Life isn’t fair. We may have heard that saying so often that we begin to discount it, but we should recognize how factual it is. Life is hard and cruel. We come into this world naked and crying, and when we leave, well, we aren’t much better. Technically we do receive the same outcome in life—death. But the world we live in holds a cornucopia of opportunities for the taking, and none of us should waste that chance. We should take advantage of our skills to get ahead in life and not hide behind our shortcomings. Yes, every journey we take will likely have barriers in the way of our success, but the worst barriers are ourselves and the belief that we aren’t good enough.   Citations: ¹ Stanford University. (n.d.). An Introduction to Equality of Opportunity. Retrieved December 1, 2021, from https://edeq.stanford.edu/sections/equality-opportunity-introduction Read the full article

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Fortune Cookie Friday: Unlocking Fearless Courage

Now that Halloween has passed, we can put all the spooky, scary stuff behind us, right? Wrong. Fear is always with us. It’s part of human nature. So, I was a little shocked when I read today’s fortune and found the words “fearless courage.” I’ve written about fear and courage in the past, and I believe that courage is not the absence of fear but overcoming it. After careful consideration, I gave the fortune a little leeway, but it reminded me of a show I’ve watched on Netflix. The series, Locke & Key, is a 2020 American supernatural horror drama about the three Locke siblings. After the mysterious murder of their father, the children and their mother move into their ancestral home, Keyhouse, which they discover is full of magical keys that may connect to their father’s death. The magical keys can open doors to other places and possibilities, and one can even open the mind. The middle child, Kinsey, uses this key to enter her mind and reminisce about her late father. When she discovers her fear lurking in her head, she removes it and buries it in the woods. Since her fear was gone, Kinsey was more confident and took more risks in her life—some were good, some were bad. Eventually, she learns that she can’t live without her fear but needs to control it. So, she seeks it out and returns it to her mind. Now, we can’t really remove the fear emotion from our brains and go about life without feeling trepidation nagging us every once in a while. Fear is part of our fight or flight mechanism that has kept us safe for thousands of years. A certain amount of fear is good for us. Fear keeps us in check and causes us to pause and consider the risks in life. The last thing we want to do is run fearlessly into dangerous situations. Nonetheless, we have to deal with fear if we’re going to be courageous, and we have to have courage if we’re going to succeed. The “fearless courage” in the fortune could refer to taking risks. Most successful ventures require us to take chances in some form or another. Just as we can’t get rid of fear, risks are always around us. We need to acknowledge our fears and examine how and why they are holding us back. Assessing those risks can help us determine how to proceed. This premise holds true for someone going into battle, starting a new business, or climbing into bed and spotting a spider on the ceiling. Is the situation dangerous? Are we prepared for the circumstances if we fail or don’t act? Are we making a mountain out of a molehill? Most of the time, our learned experiences in certain situations can help us out. We can practice first aid techniques, seek financial backing, or have a box of tissues handy. Preparation allows us to put our fears aside and mitigate our risks. This, in turn, helps us envision our goals and reach them even though there may be hurdles along the way. So, is risk-taking the foundation of victory, or is it preparation? Perhaps they work together, and that combined effort is the “fearless courage” in today’s fortune. From taking that first daunting step to pushing ourselves to the finish line, courage is the driving force of success. As we can see, it takes a little bit of preparation and risk to master our fear and be courageous. Do we want to be successful? Then maybe fearless courage is the key. Read the full article

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Fortune Cookie Friday: There Are No Shortcuts

I’ve recently been following the growth of a Giant Puffball mushroom (Calvatia gigantea) in my backyard. These fascinating fungi can become enormous, and they’re edible when harvested early. They have the added benefit of entertaining the young at heart as they expand and grow until they pop open and spread their spores in dusty plumes. Every time it gets bigger, I find something to place next to it to gauge its growth and compare its size. I found that various athletic balls work perfectly for this. I never expected it to make it to the basketball stage. Mushrooms, like some plants, can grow quickly compared to people. I’ve seen one poke through the ground one day, and it is full height with an open cap by the next. But not everything changes or grows that fast, especially when it comes to our successes. Most things in our lives take time, and there are no shortcuts in life. As much as we would love for changes to happen fast, that would create chaos all around us. Glaciers would carve our planet with the intensity of an earthquake. The seasons would flit by before plants could grow. Imagine eating some delectable chocolate brownies and putting on 40 pounds overnight—that would be terrifying! It takes time and many chocolate brownies to add inches to our waistlines. If we want to lose weight, it will take time for that to happen too, and some hard work. Slow changes over time make those glaciers, plants, and devilish brownies so successful, and they will make us successful. Anything worth doing will take a little time and effort. Whether it’s learning a new skill, saving money, or starting a career, the journey may be long and arduous. If we work diligently, we are more likely to see success than if we rush through things. Now, some will say that taking a shortcut is a good thing, such as on their way to work. I say that isn’t a shortcut but an alternate route. We are more efficient with our time and resources. But if thoroughness is part of the equation or high risk is involved, then shortcuts are best avoided. It’s much safer to plan an alternate route ahead of time than to choose a shortcut while in heavy traffic. Long-term savings and investments are more reliable and profitable than get-rich-quick schemes. When it comes to losing weight, shortcuts can set us back or even harm us. When we feel like things are lagging in progress, I always recommend taking a moment to look back at what we’ve accomplished so far. People tend to focus on what’s over the next hill and forget to enjoy the view along the path. While we want to succeed at that ultimate goal, we should be happy with every bit of accomplishment along the way. Sure, we may need to perform 60 crunches a day, but breaking them down into three sets of 20 makes them manageable and gives us multiple wins. If you still can’t wait and think it’s okay to take shortcuts in life, remember that life is a journey with a dead end. Are you sure you want to get to that end in a jiffy? Perhaps taking a little time and reveling in each moment isn’t such a bad thing after all. As for my puffball, I will patiently wait for it to mature and pop and enjoy comparing its size to sports equipment as it does. Read the full article

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Fortune Cookie Friday: Advice For Your Journey

It’s that time of year when young adults venture off and begin the next phases of their lives. Some will go to college. Some will start new jobs. Some will sit and ponder what to do next. Life has many paths, but no matter what direction we take, we need to take that first step to move forward. Today’s fortune is by poet Judy Rae Grahn, and I thought it was great advice to give anyone questioning their futures. It sums up many of my previous posts on success, achievements, and courage. When I first read it, Grahn’s quote reminded me of similar inspirational quotes such as: Taking a chance in life can be scary and difficult, especially that first step out the door. But there is more to success than simply starting. Every journey has a beginning, middle, and end, and there is no use starting unless you know where you’re going and how you plan to get there. Here is a little advice and encouragement for all of you, young and old, starting down a new path. Follow your dreams, have your destination set, and plan for the unexpected. Zig Ziglar (1926 - 2012), an American author, salesman, and motivational speaker, gave many inspiring talks on how to succeed. He also said: We have to have some goals in mind if we want to succeed. Otherwise, we are just wandering down endless paths. Have your destination set What is your dream? Do you want to be a doctor? Do you want to write a best-selling book? Do you want to own a home? You need to set your sights on something that you want before you start your journey. Your goals don’t have to be enormous either. Even small goals can make a huge difference in the world. Maybe you want to pass a test, read more books, or put some money aside. These little objectives can help you along the way toward the bigger goals. Imagine your path in life paved with stepping stones, and each one is a small decision you make towards your goal. Small, defined steps break the long journey into manageable parts and make a larger goal more attainable. The individual stepping stones also give you time to reflect on each moment. And by reflect, I mean cherish them as opposed to regretting them. Plan for the unexpected There are bound to be times when you make poor decisions or take a wrong turn. The mistakes you make in life are learning experiences that help you grow and make better decisions moving forward. Often, mistakes are unavoidable, and how you deal with them reflects how you will succeed. When you fall, get back up, brush off the dust, and keep going. Don’t be surprised to find others walking along the same path as you. It’s at those times that you can help each other. Share what you learned, give each other support, and find comfort in walking beside a like-minded individual. Even if you are competing for the same goal, treat others with respect, and you will earn respect. Remember that one kind word can change someone's entire day. That kindness will come back to you when you least expect it, and most need it. I'm still working on getting traditionally published, but other writers have worked just as hard and are finally seeing success. I am always happy to congratulate them, wish them luck going forward, and even buy their book if it intrigues me. I know how hard it is to reach that goal, and they deserve a little pat on the back. Now I can’t guarantee that you won’t cross paths with bitter, judgmental people. They may see you and what you’re doing as folly, but that’s okay. If you’re honest, selfless, and hardworking, what other people think about you isn’t your business. This is your journey. You are ultimately responsible for the goals you set, the paths you walk, and the steps you take. So when you take that first step, make it matter, because you matter too. Read the full article

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Fortune Cookie Friday: Achieving Greatness

I was admiring baby pictures of my kids recently, and it brought a smile to my face. I remember the days of changing diapers, middle-of-the-night feedings, and a general lack of energy from parenting. When we first enter this world, we are completely helpless and require so much from others. We are selfish and needy, but our parents do their best to keep us from crying. I find it fascinating that we are so different by the time we are ready to leave this mortal realm. We will our possessions to family and friends, and we share stories of what we learned in life. In many cases, we even refuse to let others help us—almost to a fault. It’s during the years that we grow and mature that we transform from selfish to selfless. We learn from our parents, teachers, and friends to look less inward and focus more outward. Our fortune comes from Atisha, an 11th century Tibetan Buddhist Master. Not only are we to learn about ourselves, but we should master our wants and desires and not be tempted by worldly things if we want to achieve selflessness. Interestingly, when we are born, we are initially given everything we need to survive. We have food, water, shelter, and hopefully, love. It is out in the world that we discover the things we want. Turning away from our wants and back to our needs can help us shed the evils of this world. We can then focus on being the best versions of ourselves. Read the full article

[atbaron]

Fortune Cookie Friday: Don't Overpack

Life is an adventure, and every adventure includes carrying a little baggage. I’m currently in the process of organizing my gear for an upcoming week-long canoe trek. For those not familiar with hiking, backpacking, and canoeing, the type of gear we pack is crucial for the success of our expedition. We need to be prepared for many contingencies, but we don’t want to take too much because we have to carry that gear. My trek includes portaging my canoe over long trails, from one body of water to the next, to reach the campsite. I have the option of wearing my 35-pound pack of essentials while carrying my canoe or making two trips. It all depends on the terrain, distance, weather, etc., but I’m getting some serious steps in either way. Over the years, I've learned what items I most need when going on my adventures, but that doesn’t mean I don’t overpack from time to time. Just like trekking in the outdoors, we may find ourselves carrying too much baggage trekking through life. Many of us find ourselves overwhelmed with tasks, thoughts, and feelings. These burdens can really weigh us down—sometimes to the point of breaking. It’s not uncommon to take on multiple tasks or duties and question how we will manage them all. We may worry about paying bills, making deadlines, or saying the right thing. And, of course, we can find ourselves feeling tired, angry, sad, or even numb as we wander along dealing with life. Whenever we overwhelm ourselves, we should stop, step off the path, and reassess life’s load. We should ask ourselves, “What do I need to carry?” “What am I responsible for?” “What can I hand off to others?” “What can I leave behind?” When backpacking on long trips, I always recommend traveling with a buddy—sometimes more than one. Besides the safety benefit, the added companions can help lighten the load of some universal gear, such as camp stoves, tents, or canoes. Remember that many hands make light work. This premise holds true in life as well. There will be times that we are responsible for things in our lives that we can’t abandon, but that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help. Delegating certain tasks to others can lighten our workload. Talking about our problems with a companion can enable us to get a load off our chests. Most importantly, we need to prepare ourselves to say, “No.” Some things aren’t worth packing. There are only twenty-four hours in a day, only so much we can handle, and only so much our 35-pound pack can fit. If we’ve already filled our lives to capacity, we need to feel comfortable declining with taking on more. My backpack has pockets galore and attachment points for oodles of gear, but that doesn’t mean I should use every one of them at once. We should always leave a little room for adjustments along the trail and souvenirs from our travels. We won’t have room for fun and happiness if we are filled with drudgery and regret. Yes, life is an adventure in more ways than one, and there is no reason to let our baggage prevent us from enjoying it. So be prepared to pack light and enjoy every step of the way. Read the full article

[atbaron]

Ideas from Real-Life

Writers need to be creative when coming up with fictional stories, and many of those stories or aspects often come from real-life instances. I can't speak for everyone, but there is a little bit of me or my personal experiences in all of my books. I might hear a phrase that rings true for one of my characters, or I feel a specific emotion that I can describe in a way that connects with a reader. I added many real-life tidbits in my current work, Menagerie Mind. I never had a stroke or have Broca's aphasia, but I was a teen that had to deal with fitting in and getting by in high school. I still have experiences that would make anyone, no matter how old, feel happy, sad, or angry. That's life. I thought I would share a snippet of the book where I adapted a real-life experience to my main character, Ferne Tippit. The high school sophomore is apprehensive about her first day of school since her stroke. Her condition makes it difficult to communicate verbally, and she doesn't want to look like a fool. Breakfast isn't very encouraging. I grabbed the box of cereal and tipped it over my bowl. Nothing dropped out, so I peered inside. The inner plastic bag was open when I popped up the box flaps, but I didn’t notice that the cereal coalesced into a hard brick of honey-flavored wheat. I pulled out the sleeve and squeezed it, trying to break it apart, but to no avail. Changing tactics, I laid the bag down and punched it with my fist. Tacky puffed wheat flew from the packaging and scattered all over the countertop. I caught a glimpse of my dad’s eyebrow raise, and I sighed. So, this is how my day is going to be. I wiped the strewn cereal bits into my bowl and poured in the milk. My face twisted as I struggled to say, “Breakfast. Of champ…champions.” I had a similar fight with a box of cereal days before I wrote this for Ferne. My struggle to perform the simplest of tasks, such as making breakfast, wasn't meant to be a metaphor for a teen dealing with Broca's aphasia, but life has a way of dropping ideas into our laps if we remain open-minded. The next time a book sucks you in, sweeps you away, or scares the pee out of you, remember that moments like those may have come from the author's own experiences. It's not a huge leap from dinosaurs to dragons. Stories are just moments in life from a different perspective. Read the full article

[atbaron]

Fortune Cookie Friday: Grade A Teachers

It’s been many years since I’ve been at school. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped learning. On the contrary, I look at each day as a chance to glean new information or pick up a new skill. Sometimes I take an online class for writing or marketing because it helps to learn from someone with experience in the field. There are many teachers out there, but the best ones don’t just follow a lesson plan but inspire us to research further into the subject and ask questions. When I think back to all of the teachers I had growing up, a few fit the inspiring bill. The first one that comes to mind was my art teacher in first grade, Mr. D’Bernardo. He was very enthusiastic about art and teaching it to children. He allowed us to call him Mr. D. for short and even had a silly handshake when he greeted us. What made him stand out the most was that he rarely criticized bad work unless you didn’t try—which he could tell. He encouraged us to try new things and get our hands dirty. That was a concept that I loved. I spent most of my free time playing outside in the mud, sand, and trees. I excelled at getting dirty—my mother would attest to that. Mr. D. was jovial and soft-spoken, and if he had an afro, you’d think he was the celebrity painter Bob Ross. It was probably because of the similar personalities that I started watching Bob Ross on PBS. On rainy days, I’d sit in front of the TV and watch him plunk “happy little trees” onto the canvas, and it didn’t take long for me to show off my new skills in art class. Once Mr. D. saw what I created, he complimented me on my work and my extra effort to learn more outside school. Little did he know it was he that inspired me. Another teacher that lit that spark, quite literally, was Mr. Nero, my seventh-grade science teacher. I got to use a Bunsen burner for the first time in his class, and I enjoyed igniting the flame with a flint spark lighter. Mr. Nero was not your average science guy or teacher. The short spunky Italian had an athletic build with bulging muscular arms. At a time when everyone stereotyped science geeks as wimpy, Mr. Nero made science look cool. When it came to science, Mr. Nero was always prepared. He wrote extensive notes on the chalkboard, but that didn’t mean we only learned by memorization. He also made sure we got our hands dirty with experiments (except when it wasn’t safe). Using the laboratory equipment and watching chemicals react made me want to know more about the scientific world around me. Yeah, it was hard work, but I was eager to continue learning more, especially since Mr. Nero had a way of explaining concepts that made them sound fun. Years later, I found myself taking Biology in college. My Texas A & M professor, Dr. Iliffe, had very field-oriented courses. He led a group of students down to Mexico, where we explored caves looking for various species of invertebrates such as crustaceans and polychaetes (segmented worms). He is even the namesake for ten new species and two new genera. Dr. Iliffe taught the students skills beyond the standard lecture material. We learned about cave systems, scuba diving, and exploring fragile environments. He was always brimming with fascination when we stumbled upon a small pool with life swimming in it. Witnessing that enthusiasm from a teacher was infectious among the students. My classmates and I returned to school with a whole new appreciation of the wild worlds around us. I have that same appreciation to this day, even when I’m in my backyard. I recall a quote attributed to H.L. Mencken (1880-1956), “Those who can, do; and those who can’t, teach.” I’ve found it does remind me of some teachers over the years, but for Mr. D., Mr. Nero, and Dr. Iliffe, they have gone farther than that. They did more than teaching. They educated students with respect, intrigue, and enthusiasm. Most of all, they inspired me to dig deeper and explore beyond what’s written in a book. And yes, I still like to get my hands dirty. Read the full article

[atbaron]

Fortune Cookie Friday: Thou Shall Not Lie

I was recently caught up in a conversation about morals. Even if we are not religious, we can agree that certain acts are wrong: taking a life, stealing, or treating others poorly. Then there is lying—a deceitful act that is easy to commit and happens more often than it should. We would be wrong in thinking that humans are the only species that deceive. Various predatory animals hide in ambush, while many prey animals use camouflage to conceal themselves. In the Cuttlefish realm, small males pretend to be females by modifying their posture and patterning. When they approach a larger male protecting a female, the impostor can sneak in and mate with the female right under its rival's nose, or in their case, tentacles. Humans start lying as early as six months. We fake cry or laugh to get a particular response from others. That power of influence is very rewarding. As we age, we improve our techniques. Even though we learn that it is wrong, we continue to lie, hoping that the odds of getting away with it are better than getting caught. According to Merriam Webster's online dictionary, “lie” is defined as: lie (intransitive verb) 1. to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive 2. to create a false or misleading impression. They are three main types of lies that we commit, and it is important to understand them if we want to change our ways and be more truthful, and know when others are lying to us. Lies of Commission This type of lie occurs when we say something that is not a fact. Yeah, I know that sounds obvious. This can be a bald-faced lie, but we perform this deception frequently and let others get away with it. Little white lies also fall under this category. Think of how often someone asks how you are doing, and you said, “fine.” Were you really doing well? Did you tell them the truth? We can’t be fine all of the time, but no one wants to hear about our “retched” lives, so we give them a blanket statement out of cordial consideration. Unfortunately, we become comfortable with lying like this because the odds are in our favor. Others accept what we say as fact and go about their day. It’s all great. Right? Wrong. This behavior progresses into other areas of our lives. Soon bigger lies leave our lips, and we are willing to take the risks of the deception. If we want to know if others are being honest with us, we need to stop accepting everything they say at face value. With lies of commission, we can look at the individual’s body language and inquire further. If we cannot ask more questions at that moment but suspect they are lying, we can wait a few days and ask them to repeat their answer. If what they say is different, we can be assured that there is more going on than they reveal. We may hear these lies from criminals (I’m innocent), politicians (“vote for me, and I’ll do X for you,”—even though they won’t), and the lazy adolescent student (my dog ate my homework). We can use this information and investigate further, confront them, or know that they are dishonest and avoid them in the future. Lies of Omission Much like our fortune, this lie is a half-truth or one that leaves out important information that would make the statement factual. Omission lies are common practice in negotiations, such as buying a car or home or dealing with some politicians or business associates. There is a lot of give-and-take in these types of transactions, and lies of omission are a tool of the trade. In scenarios like these, we need to hold fast to the axiom of caveat emptor or buyer beware. These types of lies are more difficult to detect. If we want to make sure we are getting all of the facts, we need to ask more questions and the right and thorough ones. Imagine buying a used car that looks great, but there is no history on it. Was it ever in an accident? Who was the previous owner? A savvy salesperson could swindle us by leaving out important information. If we ask enough of the right questions, we can get to the truth and be assured of our choice to purchase the vehicle or not. There are many examples of biased media not giving all the facts in the story to make it appear factual, but it’s a lie in actuality. They sometimes even take people out of context to twist the story to their liking. Unfortunately, people will believe what they see or hear and react before they have all the information. This can cause division and destruction in society. Lying by omission isn’t always intended to be harmful. There are times we use it to spare the recipient pain or embarrassment. We have all heard the excuse when someone breakups with another, “It’s not you. It’s me.” The person saying this is being partially honest. It is them with the issue, but their issue is with you. Even though we try to soften the blow using this type of lie, it can still have a detrimental effect on a relationship. Well, unless you're a mama Kildeer faking a broken wing to distract a predator from their nest, but I digress. Lies of Influence (Character Lies) Character lies are not necessarily untrue, but they do attempt to create a false or misleading impression. This misdirection is used to fool others into believing the liar by making the accused look unlikely to be dishonest. Let me give an example. You are rooming with two friends and find that one of them has been eating your food in the fridge. You confront them, and they say, “Wow, we’ve been friends for years! I let you borrow my favorite sweater and everything.” Can you spot the misdirection? Did the roommate lie? She never admitted to not committing the act. Instead, she tried to convince you that it was foolish to consider her guilty. Recognizing these lies is pretty easy if we really listen to what someone is telling us. Are they giving us an answer to our question, or are they just making a statement about themselves? In this example, we should boldly ask her to answer the question and tell the truth. It is easy to fall prey to lies. Once trapped, we can cause harm and be harmed by the simplest of statements. Some of the worst lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves. “I can’t do it.” “I’m not good enough.” “Nobody loves me.” Each one of these statements deceives us into believing we are less than we are. It’s bad enough that others judge us poorly. We should hold ourselves to a higher standard. It isn't just human nature to lie. As I mentioned before, animals do it as well to survive. There are times that we lie for good reasons, such as protecting ourselves or others from harm, but we should be wary of why we lie so we don't go down the wrong path. We need to remember that what we say and don’t say matters. We should make sure that every word is honest, forthright, and worth remembering. In my honest opinion, if we can do that, we can make the world a better place. Read the full article

[atbaron]

Fortune Cookie Friday: Thou Shall Not Lie

I was recently caught up in a conversation about morals. Even if we are not religious, we can agree that certain acts are wrong: taking a life, stealing, or treating others poorly. Then there is lying—a deceitful act that is easy to commit and happens more often than it should.

We would be wrong in thinking that humans are the only species that deceive. Various predatory animals hide in ambush, while many prey animals use camouflage to conceal themselves. In the Cuttlefish realm, small males pretend to be females by modifying their posture and patterning. When they approach a larger male protecting a female, the impostor can sneak in and mate with the female right under its rival's nose, or in their case, tentacles. Humans start lying as early as six months. We fake cry or laugh to get a particular response from others. That power of influence is very rewarding. As we age, we improve our techniques. Even though we learn that it is wrong, we continue to lie, hoping that the odds of getting away with it are better than getting caught. According to Merriam Webster's online dictionary, “lie” is defined as: lie (intransitive verb) 1. to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive 2. to create a false or misleading impression. They are three main types of lies that we commit, and it is important to understand them if we want to change our ways and be more truthful, and know when others are lying to us. Lies of Commission This type of lie occurs when we say something that is not a fact. Yeah, I know that sounds obvious. This can be a bald-faced lie, but we perform this deception frequently and let others get away with it. Little white lies also fall under this category. Think of how often someone asks how you are doing, and you said, “fine.” Were you really doing well? Did you tell them the truth? We can’t be fine all of the time, but no one wants to hear about our “retched” lives, so we give them a blanket statement out of cordial consideration. Unfortunately, we become comfortable with lying like this because the odds are in our favor. Others accept what we say as fact and go about their day. It’s all great. Right? Wrong. This behavior progresses into other areas of our lives. Soon bigger lies leave our lips, and we are willing to take the risks of the deception. If we want to know if others are being honest with us, we need to stop accepting everything they say at face value. With lies of commission, we can look at the individual’s body language and inquire further. If we cannot ask more questions at that moment but suspect they are lying, we can wait a few days and ask them to repeat their answer. If what they say is different, we can be assured that there is more going on than they reveal. We may hear these lies from criminals (I’m innocent), politicians (“vote for me, and I’ll do X for you,”—even though they won’t), and the lazy adolescent student (my dog ate my homework). We can use this information and investigate further, confront them, or know that they are dishonest and avoid them in the future.

Lies of Omission Much like our fortune, this lie is a half-truth or one that leaves out important information that would make the statement factual. Omission lies are common practice in negotiations, such as buying a car or home or dealing with some politicians or business associates. There is a lot of give-and-take in these types of transactions, and lies of omission are a tool of the trade. In scenarios like these, we need to hold fast to the axiom of caveat emptor or buyer beware. These types of lies are more difficult to detect. If we want to make sure we are getting all of the facts, we need to ask more questions and the right and thorough ones. Imagine buying a used car that looks great, but there is no history on it. Was it ever in an accident? Who was the previous owner? A savvy salesperson could swindle us by leaving out important information. If we ask enough of the right questions, we can get to the truth and be assured of our choice to purchase the vehicle or not. There are many examples of biased media not giving all the facts in the story to make it appear factual, but it’s a lie in actuality. They sometimes even take people out of context to twist the story to their liking. Unfortunately, people will believe what they see or hear and react before they have all the information. This can cause division and destruction in society. Lying by omission isn’t always intended to be harmful. There are times we use it to spare the recipient pain or embarrassment. We have all heard the excuse when someone breakups with another, “It’s not you. It’s me.” The person saying this is being partially honest. It is them with the issue, but their issue is with you. Even though we try to soften the blow using this type of lie, it can still have a detrimental effect on a relationship. Well, unless you're a mama Kildeer faking a broken wing to distract a predator from their nest, but I digress. Lies of Influence (Character Lies) Character lies are not necessarily untrue, but they do attempt to create a false or misleading impression. This misdirection is used to fool others into believing the liar by making the accused look unlikely to be dishonest. Let me give an example. You are rooming with two friends and find that one of them has been eating your food in the fridge. You confront them, and they say, “Wow, we’ve been friends for years! I let you borrow my favorite sweater and everything.” Can you spot the misdirection? Did the roommate lie? She never admitted to not committing the act. Instead, she tried to convince you that it was foolish to consider her guilty. Recognizing these lies is pretty easy if we really listen to what someone is telling us. Are they giving us an answer to our question, or are they just making a statement about themselves? In this example, we should boldly ask her to answer the question and tell the truth. It is easy to fall prey to lies. Once trapped, we can cause harm and be harmed by the simplest of statements. Some of the worst lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves. “I can’t do it.” “I’m not good enough.” “Nobody loves me.” Each one of these statements deceives us into believing we are less than we are. It’s bad enough that others judge us poorly. We should hold ourselves to a higher standard. It isn't just human nature to lie. As I mentioned before, animals do it as well to survive. There are times that we lie for good reasons, such as protecting ourselves or others from harm, but we should be wary of why we lie so we don't go down the wrong path. We need to remember that what we say and don’t say matters. We should make sure that every word is honest, forthright, and worth remembering. In my honest opinion, if we can do that, we can make the world a better place. Read the full article

[atbaron]

Fortune Cookie Friday: There Is Always Hope

I find it fortuitous that my current fortune shows up as we move into Easter weekend, especially as we move out of the pandemic. Easter is the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus after his crucifixion. Remembering that moment is a way to renew daily hope that we have victory over sin. Today's fortune reminded me of John 1 (NIV): Jesus is the light, and the light shines brightest in the dark. Yes, we do live in dark times. We have lived through a year of distancing ourselves from family and friends. We have lost loved ones to illness. We shut down the economy to stave off infection. And yet, we still have wars, hate, and our nation’s culture has slipped into decadence. There doesn’t seem like there is much one can do about it, but there is always hope. This isn’t the first time our nation has seen turmoil, and it won’t be the last. Paine wrote these words in the Pennsylvania Journal during the revolutionary war. General George Washington’s troops had suffered humiliating losses in New York to the British and retreated to Pennsylvania’s McConkey's Ferry on the Delaware River opposite Trenton, New Jersey. The General knew that the men's spirits were low and that if their morale didn’t improve, they would lose the war. He printed pamphlets of Paine’s writing and had the men read them aloud. Hope spread through the ranks and lead the men to victory. Our victory over dark times requires us to seek out hope, but hope doesn’t have to come from the inspirational words of great leaders and thinkers. It can come from the smallest form of optimism. We can be happy that the sun shines or a rainbow shimmers in the gray sky. The sound of laughter or the tinkle of wind chimes can brighten our day. Most importantly, we can find hope within our hearts—we only need to let it bloom and grow. So as we enter Easter, open your heart to those around you. Spread hope to anyone that needs it. Let the light shine through the darkness and lead us to victory. Happy Easter!   Featured image: Banksy's There is Always Hope (2002) – London Read the full article