My Love For You Will Never Die…And Neither Will I
Deadpool x Batsis!Spider-Woman! Reader
Inspired by this ask that I received in response to this post!!!
A/N: trying to write a Deadpool that isn’t insanely inappropriate is really hard guys…some suggestive parts so 18+
NOT PROOFREAD—like at all, so bear with me
“You want me to meet your family?”
“Oh no, absolutely not. I definitely do not want you to meet my family.” You sit up, sending him a pointed look as he pulls a shirt on—for once too distracted by your anxiety to stare. “Wade, I cannot stress this enough.”
“Uh oh.” His playful smile drops as he avoids your gaze.
“What do you mean uh oh?” You speak slowly, attempting to calm your racing heart. “Wade?”
“Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”
“Obviously the bad news.” You feel like you’re gonna throw up, the increasing pounding in your head not helping.
“There is no bad news!”
“Wade.”
“Nope, gotta go. Bad guys to kill. I’ll swing by your place later! Or actually, you’ll be doing most of the swinging.” He mimes your webshooters as you stare at him in horror.
“Wade, what’s the bad news?” You call after him, rushing towards the window as he jumps out. “Wade!”
He ignores you, snapping his arm back into place as he stands at the bottom of the alley. He blows you a kiss before darting around the corner.
“Freaks.” The old woman in the apartment mutters, glowering at you, making you quickly duck back into the apartment and slam the window, cheeks flushing.
What has he done now?
—
Wade successfully avoided you all day, up until patrol that night.
“Spidey.” He sing-songs, covering your eyes with his hands. “Guess who.”
You roll your eyes beneath the mask, laughing softly. “Gee, I wonder. Wow, this is really hard.”
“You know what else is—”
“Deadpool.” You mutter. “Now really isn’t the time.
“Yay! You guessed it!” You can tell he’s grinning beneath the mask by the sound of his voice. “How’d you know?”
Sending him a sideways look as he finally removes his hands from your eyes, “Spidey Sense.”
“You’re so weird!” He laughs, leaning against you back, forcing you to support his entire body weight.
You groan but you don’t actually mind, appreciating the closeness. “Wade?”
“Yes, honey bunches?”
Wrinkling your nose, you shake your head. “Don’t call me that.”
“Okay, sugar plum.”
“Too out of season.”
“So I can call you that during winter? Score!”
“If it would make you happy.”
“It would.” He pretends to wipe a tear, “It really would.”
“Whatever. Wade—we need to talk.”
“Ooh that sounds serious.”
“It is.”
“Oh. Like taking-down-a-trafficking-ring serious or you-forgot-your-key-at-my-place serious?”
“More like you’re-hiding-things-from-me serious.”
“Oh.” He goes quiet for what you think is the first time since you met him three years ago.
“Well? Anything you wanna tell me?”
He inhales dramatically before spewing out his words as fast as he can. “After you told me how much you miss your family, I may or may not have asked your aunt for your dad’s phone number. And she may or may not have given me the house phone instead on accident and I called and asked to set up a family dinner.” He pauses before adding, “Hypothetically, of course.”
You blink at him, trying to process his words. “You called my dad?”
He shakes his head rapidly, making you grimace as he still seems to be treating this like a joke. “No, I talked to the butler.”
You lean back to stare at him, this time not in a wow-I-wish-you’d-kiss-me way and instead in a how-could-you-do-this-to-me way.
“And you set up a family dinner?”
He shrinks in on himself, losing his confidence as you speak. “Yes?”
You sigh, shaking your head. “You shouldn’t have done that. I told you I don’t want—”
“That you don’t want me to meet them, I know. And trust me, I’m well aware of how that would go. You’re embarrassed by me, I get it.”
“No, Wade, I’m not embarrassed by you. Why would you think that?”
“Of course you’re embarrassed! Who wouldn’t be? I’m not exactly the guy anyone wants dating their daughter.”
“You really think I care what they think of you? You think that little of me? I love you! So it doesn’t matter. What matters is you went behind my back and didn’t even think to tell me!”
“I wouldn’t have to go behind your back if you’d just introduce me to them!”
You groan, clutching your head as you fight off a headache. “You’re not getting it! Of course I want you to meet my family. And that my Aunt! Just her. Okay? I haven’t seen my dad in two years, and I haven’t talked to him in even longer. They don’t matter.”
“Of course they matter! You told me how much you miss them. I just thought I’d reach out for you, so you didn’t have to. And I was going to tell you this morning, but then you freaked out at me.”
“I did not freak out at you.” You gasp, crossing your arms.
“You kinda did.” His voice pitches as he pinches his pointer and thumb together.
“Whatever. You still should’ve told me. And you shouldn’t have done anything before asking.”
“Okay, never again. Well, maybe again. But I’ll do my best.”
“Wade.” You sigh as his arms wrap around your waist.
“Am I forgiven?”
“For now. But we will be talking about how you thought I was embarrassed by you.”
His arms freeze around you as he looks away.
Before you can make sense of what’s happening, he’s throwing a used napkin at your face. “Memory wipe!” And jumping off the roof.
You wince, hearing something crack as he hits the ground. “I’m okay!” He shouts up and you can only sigh as he disappears into the distance.
You were definitely talking about that later.
—
“Baby. Pumpkin? Sugarplum? Wait, you said no to that one. Does that mean Pumpkin should also be seasonal? What about sweetheart, is that just for Valentine’s Day?”
You hear Wade continue muttering his questions through the bathroom door.
Despite telling him he’s forgiven, he’s definitely not feeling like he is when you shut the door to brush your teeth. Maybe the memory wipe was too much…
“Honey?” He knocks on the door, face smushed against it.
“Yes, dear?” You answer sarcastically, finally opening the door, making him fall towards you.
Your hands shoot out to steady him, tooothbrush hanging lazily from your mouth.
His eyes zero in on it as he leans towards you, “I wish that was me.”
“What?”
“Huh?”
“Wade.”
“Right! So dinner is tomorrow at—”
“Tomorrow?!”
“Yes, tomorrow. And—”
“Dinner is tomorrow? I don’t have anything to wear!”
“Would you stop cutting me off, woman?” He falters under your glare, immediately regretting his words. Clearing his throat, “I mean, may I continue to speak, love of my life, keyholder to my apartment, prettiest woman I’ve ever seen?”
“I’ll allow it.” You stop, crossing your arms. He lets out a tense breath.
“Phew! Narrowly missed that one…”
“Wade.” You warn and he waves you off.
“Right, right. Anyways, dinner is tomorrow. Alfred—that’s the butler, right? Or was I talking to the cat named Alfred?”
“I can’t imagine you were talking to the cat.”
“Yeah, but it would be cooler if I was.”
“Uh huh.”
He takes the hint, continuing his previous words. “He said to be there at five.”
You sigh, rubbing your forehead in an attempt to stop the pounding feeling. “Okay. Do you want to take the train or drive?”
“Do you think they’d send a limo?”
“I really wouldn’t put it past them.”
“Awesome!”
“Not gonna happen. We can take your bike.”
“No! I need to keep my clothes clean. First impressions matter, you know.”
You hum, turning back to start brushing again as he continues behind you.
“Dopinder can drive us!”
“There’s no way he’s going to drive us to Gotham. And I wouldn’t want him to. The guy would get eaten alive. Literally.”
“He’ll be fine! Plus he owes me!”
“Why in the world would he owe you? He drives you wherever you want!”
“I gave him girl advice.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah! He came to me, super upset about Gita leaving him for his cousin. Again. So I gave him some advice!”
“Good advice?” You laugh, shaking your head as he sits on the counter, wrapping his legs around your torso.
“Of course was good advice! I’m a real hit with the ladies, if you know what I mean. I’ve got plenty of experience.” He grins widely, leaning back against the mirror.
Your freeze, meeting his gaze with a raised brow. “Really? You’re a hit with the ladies?”
“That came out wrong!” He squeaks, legs tightening around you as you huff. He clings to you.
“Plenty of experience?” You repeat his words back to him as he blanches.
“That’s not what I meant!”
“Well, I really mean the next thing I’m gonna say.” You pick his arms and legs off from around you as you step back. Leaning in, this time freed from his grasp, you whisper in his ear. “You’re sleeping on the couch.”
You boop his nose with your pointer finger and spin out of the bathroom. He calls after you but you just shut the bathroom door with a shake of your head.
Lots of experience…well, he can experience sleeping alone.
—
You wake up to your spider sense going off. Peeking an eye open, you find yourself face to face with your boyfriend. Or rather, his mask.
“Babe.” He sighs dramatically, slumping on top of you. You groan, pushing him off the bed but he just climbs back up.
“Go away.” You grumble, looking away from him.
“Look, I’m sorry.”
You shove your head under your pillow to get away from him.
He whines, pushing his face into your stomach. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Let me sleep.”
“I can’t! I need you to forgive me. For real this time! I couldn’t sleep all night. I just sat at the foot of the bed and watched you sleep.”
“That’s so weird, Wade.”
“You make me weird. And feel weird. Especially down—”
“Wade.” You sigh, peeking at him. “Fine.”
“Good!” He sits up, straddling your waist. “We’ll do lunch together to battle plan for tonight.”
“Right…tonight.” You trail off, sighing again. “And I can’t do lunch. I’m covering the mayor’s speech. Jameson wants a report on his desk tomorrow morning.”
Wade studies you for a minute before responding in a much more serious voice.
“We don’t have to go.”
“We do.” You send him a pointed look, “I want to. I just…”
He rubs your shoulder in what you assume is an attempt to soothe you, but he ends up slipping his hand down to grope you.
“Wade.” You try to keep a straight face but can’t help the way your lips tug up at the corners.
“Sorry, I missed you.” He shrugs, grinning at you.
“I’m serious.” You shake your head. “This will be my first time seeing them since…”
“Joker killed your brother?”
“Since he came back and no one decided to tell me.”
“So a couple years after he killed your brother?” He clarifies, trying to make sense of the timeline. “Am I supposed to know this?”
“No.”
“Okay.” He nods, gloved fingers trailing along your sides. “I bought you a dress.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, that’s why I didn’t wanna take my bike. Didn’t need everyone seeing your…”
“Okay, I get it.”
“Did that work? I was trying to distract you.” He nudged your jaw with his nose, fingers gripping your sides like he was trying to seep himself into you.
“It did until you mentioned it.”
He curses loudly, rolling off of you. “It’s in a box under the bed.” He kisses you roughly through his mask, making you giggle. “Now that that’s done, I’ve got some bad guys to kill. Love you, snookums!” And then he was diving out the window again.
Can’t he ever use the door?
—
At 4 p.m. sharp, Dopinder parked in front of your apartment.
You huffed, hurrying down to meet him. He unlocks the doors, allowing you to slide into the backseat.
“He said he just has one more thing to do before coming, but he insists he’ll be there on time.”
Sighing again, you hop out of the car to move to the passenger seat.
“What is with the two of you doing that?” Dopinder mutters, shaking his head as he pulls back into the traffic-filled street.
“You don’t have to drive to Gotham, you know.”
He slams on the breaks. “Gotham?! He was going to have me drive to Gotham?! No way! Get out.”
He pulls over, waving away the $20 you shove towards him. “Nuh uh! It’s bad enough I’m not driving you. If he finds out I accepted money? He’s going to kill me.” He mutters, shooting you a worried look.
“It’s fine. I won’t tell him.”
“He’ll know.”
“I’ll cover for you.”
“Okay. You should go now.”
“Bye, Dopinder.”
“Goodbye.”
He speeds off, leaving you to shake your head at the retreating taxi, only to laugh at him getting stuck in traffic again.
You tug at the bottom of your dress, suddenly feeling even more uncomfortable than you did before.
Webshooters or subway? Whichever one you choose, you’re sure you’ll get caught up in stopping some sort of crime that will inevitably make you late, and subsequently cause your family to dislike you even more.
“Webshooters it is.” You mumble to yourself, heading back to your apartment to change into your suit.
—
By the time you got to the manor, Wade still hadn’t arrived.
5:34
You grimace at the time, double checking the clock like it would somehow change. No such luck.
Where are you, Wade? You look around, rocking on your feet anxiously.
“Ms. Wayne, glad you could make it. Let me take your coat.” Alfred opens the door with a polite smile.
You flush, stepping past him as you enter. “Parker.” You correct, having already given up on him using your first name. The only time he’d ever done so, was when he comforted you at Jason’s funeral after your dad announced he was sending you to live with your Aunt and Uncle in New York.
You push away the memory as Alfred leads you towards the dining room.
Your breathe hitches as everyone’s eyes land on you.
Clearing your throat, “Sorry I’m late. Traffic’s pretty bad.”
Damian scoffs, “You could’ve told someone. It’s not like we have all the time in the world to wait around for you.”
“Damian.” Your father hisses, effectively shushing him before he turns to you. “I’m glad you could make it.”
You shoot back an halfhearted smile as you take a seat next to Dick, leaving only an empty seat on your other side.
“I thought your boyfriend was coming.”
“Uh, he’s supposed to but he got caught up with work.”
Several eyes study you, causing you to straighten.
“What does he do?” Tim asks, not even attempting to conceal his curiosity.
“Uhhh.” You trail off, cursing yourself for not coming up with a cover story. What are you supposed to say? My boyfriend is a mercenary?
Like that would go over well.
Dick clears his throat, sensing your discomfort. “It’s been awhile. How have you been? What have you been up to?”
“Not much. I’m still working for the Bugle.”
“The what?”
“The Daily Bugle?” You frown, has your family seriously not even bothered to check up on you? Or even listen to you the last time you were here?
Wow.
Your stomach flips as you look towards the door. Maybe you should just leave.
You’re interrupted from your escape plot as Alfred approaches again. “Is he still coming?”
“Last I heard, yes. But we should just get started.”
“Finally.” Damian grumbled, wincing as Tim kicked his shin beneath the table. “Whatever.”
“Sorry.” Your cheeks burn as you duck your head.
“It’s really not a problem.” Bruce insists, shooting a glare at him other children.
They grumble beneath his gaze.
Your phone dings in your purse and you whip it out with a relieved sigh once you see Wade’s name appear on the screen.
Here.
You allow yourself to relax a little as you stand, clearing your throat. “He’s uh, here. I’ll go let him in.”
Several curious gazes follow you out the door and you can sense them coming after you as you walk through the entryway.
Sighing, your hand wraps around the handle. You just want to see Wade. He always knows how to make you less…anxious.
Your first real smile of the night crosses your face as you open the door, only to drop as you spot who is on the side.
Your wonderful, thoughtful, loving, idiot of a boyfriend is standing on The Batman’s—a man who is notoriously against killing—porch, in his full Deadpool suit.
You’re not sure if the tuxedo over it makes it better or worse.
Worse. Definitely worse.
You gape at him as he steps up to wrap his arms around you. “Hi, Honey Bear.”
You’re speechless as he spins you around, entering the manor.
Your entire family stares at him, frozen in place as they take in the sight of you next to the known mercenary.
“You smell like blood.” You hiss at him.
He whispers back to you, not caring how loud he’s being, “And you smell like everything I hold dear in the world.”
“I’m going to kill you.”
“That won’t keep me away.”
“You’re insane.”
“You’re breathtaking. I mean, really. I did a great job picking out that dress. Maybe next time you can wear it when we—”
“Shut up. Shut up. Just stop talking.”
Your warning came a little late as your family moves into action again, all at once.
Jason’s pulling out a gun while Damian unsheaths his swords. Tim’s Bo Staff is drawn almost as fast, Dick’s Escrima Sticks following shortly after. You don’t even bat an eye at Duke’s glowing hands.
“Boys!” Alfred’s voice cuts in sharply. “Might I remind you that this is the first time she’s been home in over two years, and that she’s only here because of him. Put your weapons away and return to the dining room this instant.”
Their weapons are slowly placed back where they were pulled from, each concealed from sight.
You let out a breath as they stalk off to the dining room, shooting various glances back at you and Wade.
As soon as your father follows the rest of his kids back towards the table, dining room door shutting firmly behind him, Alfred turns to you.
You ignore the listening ears on the other side of the door as he speaks.
“I did mean what I said earlier, I am glad you could make it. I’d also be glad if you returned, hopefully sooner than two years this time.” He turns to greet your boyfriend, sighing. “Good luck.”
With that, he turns away from you, and follows the direction your family went, leaving you alone with Wade.
You turn back towards him, swatting his arm. “What are you wearing?”
He pretends your hit hurt, although, maybe it did. Super strength and all. “Ow, woman. I’m wearing a tuxedo? I borrowed it from Daredevil. Do you like it? Hopefully you don’t like it that much, seeing as it’s another man’s. But if you like it, I can get my own.”
“No, I mean your suit!”
“Yeah, the tux?”
“Obviously the other one, Wade.” You huff, pinching your nose as the throbbing returns to your head. “Deadpool? Really? You couldn’t leave it alone for one night?”
“Why wouldn’t I wear it? You’d rather they see what’s under it? Normally I wouldn’t mind taking my clothes off around you but i think it would be kind of weird with your family—”
You sigh and he relents. “I’m sorry, okay?” He continues, hands rubbing up and down your arms. “I am taking this seriously, just…trying to lighten the mood.”
“Whatever. The damage is already done. They know you’re a mercenary.”
“I think they’d know either way, it’s not like my identity is that private. Especially not from The Worlds Greatest Detective’s.”
“Yeah, but I was hoping to get one meal under our belts before they realized.” You sigh, leaning into him.
He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead through his mask before smirking, “That’s not what I’m interested in under your belt.”
“Wade, I will leave right now and let them kill you. I mean it.”
“I’d happily die if it means you’ll feel bad later and spend the rest of the night kissing me to apologize.”
“That is so not happening.”
“That you know of.”
“It’s not gonna happen.”
“You’ll change your mind once you see how much I’m going to impress your family.”
“More like depress my family.”
He laughs loudly, intertwine his fingers in yours as he swings your arm back and forth. “That’s was a good one.”
“Let’s just get this over with.” You sigh, words contradicting your actions as you slow your pace.
Wade ignores your protests as he drags you towards the dining room.
You almost wish that no weapons would be drawn during dinner.
But you know better than that.
—
Dinner is a very tense affair. Eyes studying the two of you, but mainly Wade, as you try to eat.
Your stomach churns anxiously as Cass questions your boyfriend.
“How long have you been doing this?” This being mercenary work.
“Not long enough!” He answers cheerfully, shoving the rest of a partially eaten roll into his mouth as you sigh.
Cass grimaces, lip curling in disapproval at his response.
You spend the rest of the meal avoiding your father’s gaze, knowing how upset he is. And his anger seems to be growing by the second.
Even Jason, who is transparent in his views regarding killing, seems to hate Deadpool.
That fact makes you want to slam your head into the table repeatedly. You’re tempted to, even if it would just knock you out until the meal is over.
Glancing at the clock that reads 6:13, you groan audibly. As everyone turns to face you, you sink further into your seat. You peer at their plates, almost all of which haven’t been touched, as they’ve been too busy interrogating Wade.
He rubs your back soothingly, “We can go home soon, we’re almost done here anyways.” He coos in your ear.
A glass shatters at the end of the table, blood dripping slowly from the cuts in your father’s hand as he stands.
“I would like to talk to you. In my office. Now.”
Wade leans over, hand squeezing yours beneath the table—making sure his support is known. He smiles teasingly as he taunts you. “Oooh, someone’s in trouble.”
“Wade.” You moan, pushing his hand away. “Stop it.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He salutes with his now-free hand.
You huff at him, casting a look back at the table once more before you leave.
—
The halls are quiet, only the sound of the clock ticking at the other end and the hushed shouts from the dining room can be heard.
Shaking your hands in an attempt to gain the confidence to get through this conversation, you knock on your father’s office door.
“Come in.” His voice is tense and you have to fight back the urge to run away.
It’s been two years since you’ve spoken to him. This can’t wait any longer.
He stares at you, waiting to see if you’ll crack first. You don’t.
He trained you better than that.
“Is this some kind of cry for attention?” His words are callous, cutting you as you realize he really doesn’t know you at all.
You scoff, looking away so he doesn’t see how much his words are affecting you. “Why would I want your attention?”
He frowns at you, glaring as if you’re one of the criminals he fights every night. “Is it your way of getting back at me for sending you to live with your Aunt?”
“No!” You answer quickly, skin flushing at the accusation. “I love him.”
“He’s a murderer. Worse, actually. He’s a mercenary. He kills people for money.” He pauses, gaze cold. “Then that’s why you’re with him. You need money since I’m not funding your lifestyle anymore. If you need help, money, whatever, I’m happy to give it to you. You don’t need to resort to such childish tactics to get it.”
You stand up, kicking away from the desk at his words. “How dare you?!” You seethe, stalking towards the door. He stands up quickly. “I don’t want anything from you. Not money, not help, not family.”
Before he can stop you, you’re already stomping towards the dining room. “Wade, c’mon, it’s time to go.”
Your words seem to fall flat as your eyes lock onto the scene in front of you.
Damian stands in front of your boyfriend with two blood soaked katanas while Dick attempts to pull him back.
Jason watches lazily while everyone else stares on in varying degrees of horror.
Wade turns to look at you, “Oh, hi, Sweet Pea. I’ll be ready in just a second!” He turns back to look for his now disconnected arm. He laughs in delight as he finds it underneath the table.
He picks it up and tucks it beneath his arm as he turns back to offer you his hand. “All ready!”
He glances at the tears welling up in your eyes before quickly whisking you towards the front door. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He murmurs, making sure your family can’t catch a glimpse of your tears. “Dopinder is waiting down the street.”
You laugh, the sound coming out crackly through your tears as he shuts the door behind you. His hands tremble as they guide you down the street.
“Let’s get you home, okay?”
—
When you wake up the next morning, you’re tempted to write it off as a dream. Unfortunately, the mascara stains on your pillow tell you otherwise.
“Good morning, Sugar Booger.”
You groan, throwing a pillow at the offending voice as Wade settles onto the bed beside you. His fingers trail lazily across your back as you sit up.
“That name sucks.”
“But it’s funny.”
You pause for a moment, forehead dropping against his shoulder before you laugh. “Yeah, it is.”
“Yeah, it is!” He smiles, rubbing your back soothingly. His voice softens, “I’m sorry.”
“About what?” Your voice cracks, making you less yourself closer to him. As his arms wind around you, you note that his arm has been reattached—or that it’s grown back.
“About yesterday. I shouldn’t have set up dinner. I really didn’t think it would be so…awful.”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. “You sure you weren’t just trying to get back at me for hiding you from my family?”
He scoffs, lips brushing against your shoulder. “Oh, please. Like you could keep me away.” His voice lowers, “I wouldn’t do that to you. Really. I need you to understand that. I’d never do something to hurt you like that.”
“I know, Wade. I was only joking. And for what it’s worth, I am sorry for hiding you. But I really did mean what I said about my Aunt being the only family that matters. And…she loves you.”
“She does, doesn’t she? That reminds me, I need to cancel our book club meeting tonight.”
You snicker, pressing a kiss against the exposed skin between his mask and collar. “You have a book club?”
“Yes. And we’re reading Agatha Christie, FYI.”
“Did you just say FYI? Who uses acronyms in real life?” You laugh at the way he gasps.
“I do! Also, BTW, you have mascara on your face LOL.”
You laugh harder at that, pushing him away but he clings to you, wrapping his legs around you also for extra support. “Stop, nobody talks like that!”
“Yes, they do.”
“Who is they?”
“Me and at least 72 other people.”
“That’s…oddly specific, Wade.”
“There’s a Reddit forum and everything.”
“Uh huh. Anyways, I need to get to work. I have that report due.”
“Already sent it in.”
“What?”
“I emailed it to your boss and called out sick.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I’m fine. Really.”
“Uh huh.” He repeats your previous words. “Your pillow and the fact that you’re still wearing the same dress as yesterday says otherwise.”
“I’m not.” You look down, frowning at your attire of one of Wade’s old hoodies and a pair of his boxers.
“You’re right, you’re not. Because I made sure you were comfortable before going to sleep. Because I’m a good boyfriend that you should not break up with for calling your dad once again.”
“What?!”
He retracts his arms as you pull away from him, slapping a hand over your eyes as you groan.
“In my defense, you were so upset that you threw up in Dopinder’s Taxi last night. So I called your dad to find out what he said. He feels awful, you know.”
You peek through your fingers at him, “He said that?”
“No, but I could sense it.”
“Wade!” You moan, “You said you wouldn’t do that anymore!”
“If I remember correctly, I said if maybe again but that I’d try my best.” He rubs his neck sheepishly as you glower at him.
“You’re so much.”
“You love me though?”
“Unfortunately.” You mumble, turning away from him. Sensing his excitement, you fight the urge to smile as he wraps his arms and legs around you, securing you against him.
He breaths out a relieved sigh as he nuzzles his face into your neck. “I’m even taking today off to spend it with you.”
“Fine. But you need to change out of your suit. It still smells like blood.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He hops out of bed, pretending to salute, before stumbling towards the closet.
You bite back a laugh at the way he trips over his feet to appease you.
“Wade?”
“Yes, goober?”
You sigh at the moniker, knowing he’ll take your annoyance and continue using it. “Do you want to get me breakfast from that place on the corner?”
“Please, I’m not an amateur!” He scoffs before winking at you playfully. “I already got it, it’s in the kitchen.”
You hum, staring appreciatively at his back as he tugs his suit off.
Breakfast and a show.
—
Two days later, you and Wade are sitting on the couch, happily making fun of the contestants on Wipe Out when a knock rings out against the door.
You peek up at him but he shakes his head, signaling he’s not expecting anyone. You stand, moving towards the door.
Before you can stop him, he’s pulling out his katanas as he follows you. You roll your eyes, shaking your head as you swing the door open.
Your mouth drops as your eyes land on every single member of your family. “What are you guys…?”
You trail off as you hear the blades sheathing behind you.
“We wanted to talk. And also…apologize,” the word comes out of your father’s mouth as if it’s painful, “for what happened the other night.”
“Okay.” You cross your arms, standing your ground. After many discussions with Wade about what happened, you settled on never speaking to them again.
Which is working out really well for you so far.
“Can we come in?” Dick asks, making you look at their current predicament. The hallways is quite small, making all of them quick together—Jason’s towering form not helping.
“Fine.” You relent, wandering further into the apartment, leaving Wade to shut the door behind them.
“This is where you live?” Tim paused, “It’s…nice.”
“It’s terrible.” You counter, glaring at the younger man. He flushes beneath your stare. “But it’s mine. That I paid for.”
“Right.” Your father starts, “Can we talk? Somewhere private.”
“I’d rather we didn’t.”
He nods harshly, accepting your words.
“Are you guys hungry? We have a variety of highly sought after snacks. Including, but not limited to, pop tarts.”
You turn to him, frowning. “No we don’t. Thor ate the last of them.”
“Oh, then not including pop tarts.”
“Whatever.” You wave him off, “What do you guys want?”
“Hopefully not a pop tart.” Wade adds, making you glare at him too. He holds his hands up in surrender at your look. “Sorry. Hopefully you want a pop tart?”
“Wade!” He presses a kiss to your shoulder before ducking past you.
“I’ll just…be over here.”
You huff, pinching your nose as you turn back to your family. “Look, we didn’t talk for two years and honestly, it should’ve continued. It was a mistake to do dinner, and it was a mistake for me to go back to Gotham. I think we should all just forget about it entirely.”
Dick frowns at you, hands twitching like they want to reach for you. “It wasn’t a mistake. We messed up, but we really were glad to see you. Even if we didn’t do a good job showing ut.”
“That’s an understatement.” He winces at your words as you groan. “Look, I don’t want this, okay? Just go.”
“We can’t! We should’ve reached out a lot sooner.”
“You should’ve done a lot more than reach out.”
“Yes, we should’ve. But we didn’t, and we can’t change that. But we can do better now, you just have to give us a chance.”
“No, I don’t have to give you anything.” You insist. “I want you to leave.”
“We’re not going to.” Jason speaks up, crossing his arms.
“What?” Your eyebrows pinch together in surprise.
“We’re not leaving. And we’re not leaving you here with him.”
Your fists clench at your sides, anger rising in your chest. You attempt to push it down but some still seeps out. “Get out of my apartment or I’ll make you.”
“Yeah right.”
“Look, you guys feel bad now? So what! You had two whole years to feel bad.”
Dick frowns as you rage at Jason. “We’re turning to make things better now. Anyways, what happened? We could’ve reached out, but so could you. Why didn’t you?”
You scoff, gaping at him. “Are you serious? You couldn’t even find the time to tell me that my brother was alive, so why would I make any effort at all to speak to you?”
He falters, opening his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. You continue. “And now, you’re trying to make things better? He cut my boyfriend’s arm off! That is so far from making things better!”
Damian scoffs, “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t know it would grow back.”
“That’s not the point! The point is that you want to be privy to every aspect of my life, without me knowing anything about any of yours. That’s not fair!” You cry, “I can’t live with that.”
Your father finally speaks up again, reaching towards you. You step back, Wade’s arms steadying you.
“I’m sorry about what I said. I shouldn’t have assumed…” He trails off, eyeing your boyfriend. “I know we’ve messed up, I know I’ve messed up, but I want to fix things. I know it won’t happen immediately, or maybe even at all, but I’d like to try.”
Your breathing slows as you match your heartbeat to Wade’s. Peering up at your father through your tears, you consider his words.
“Don’t expect anything.” You say, deciding that’s all you can say at the moment, before you shut yourself away in your room.
You can hear your family leaving the apartment; Wade shooing them out as you cry.
You also hear your father saying something to your boyfriend before he leaves, but you can’t quite make it out.
—
“LOML.”
“Did you just abbreviate Love of My Life?”
“Yes, I did abbreviate, also, glad to hear I’m the love of your life.”
You huff a laugh into his neck as he collapses on top of you. “You’re heavy.”
He gasps, feigning offense. “Are you calling me fat?!”
He can’t keep up the act for long before he’s snickering into your shoulder. You swat at him as you roll your eyes.
“Whatever.”
He licks your neck, making you gasp in surprise as he laughs harder. “Anyways, wanna hear what I was going to say before you distracted me with your insults?”
“One insult, that I didn’t even say.”
He shushes you, voice growing more serious. You raise an eyebrow for him to continue but he waved you off, claiming he’s building suspense.
“I ordered a pizza.”
“Really?” You sit up, gasping excitedly as he nods.
“A couple actually.”
You grin widely at that, tangling your fingers in his collar and tugging him closer to you. You peel his mask off his face, bunching it up right above his nose, as you press your lips against his.
“That’s so hot.”
“I’m gonna have to order pizza more.” He says the words, lips still pressed against yours.
You just giggle, tugging him closer to you.
—
Almost a full week later, after several conversations with Wade to hype yourself up, you find yourself staring down the secretary outside your father’s office.
“He’s my dad?” You insist but she just shakes her head.
“I’ve met his kids, and you’re not one of them.” She looks you over, eyes scanning you judgmentally.
You scoff, taking this as a sign to give up on reconnecting with your dad as you turn back to the elevator.
Before you can press the button, the doors slide open as a chime rings out.
Your dad freezes when he sees you, whispering your name in surprise before collecting himself.
“We can talk in my office.” He turns to the secretary, “Clear the rest of my schedule for the afternoon.”
“But—” He pays her no mind as he ushers into his office.
You gulp nervously, wiping the sweat from your palms onto your jeans. He sits at his desk, gesturing for you to do the same.
He waits for you to speak, this time with a much more patient expression, no anger evident in his gaze.
You don’t say anything, instead opting to tap your foot against the desk.
“When I sent you to New York, I was expecting you to be done with being a vigilante.” He breaks the silence, pausing as if to test the waters.
“I was…for a bit.” You remind yourself that he’s not the best communicator, and to not take offense at his words.
“You’re Spider-Woman.” It’s not a question.
“Yes.” You confirm it.
He sighs, sitting back as he pinches his nose. “I didn’t want this life for you.” He glances at the doorway. “I still don’t. Especially not with him.”
“You don’t get to do that.” Your words are quiet, not wanting to start another fight.
“I know. I just…” He trails off with a sigh, casting a look out the window. “You’re all grown up now. I missed two years, more really, of your life. And I can’t get them back.”
He continues, “I should’ve told you about Jason. At the time, I thought it was the best way to keep you out of crimefighting.”
You snort, shoulders relaxing slightly. “It would’ve worked, sending me to New York…if I hadn’t gotten powers.”
He huffs. “Figures.”
You smile back, “Yeah, figures.”
It’s quiet for a moment as he studies you. You wrinkle your nose at the action.
“Does he make you happy?” His words are cautious, like they don’t feel quite right coming out of his mouth.
“More than anything.”
“Okay.” He sighs, smiling softly. “I guess I can accept it for now.”
“Oh good! Because he really wants to go on a Father and Son-in-law patrol.” You grin wickedly as his face falls.
“Don’t push it.”
EXTRA HEADCANONS:
—Damian and Wade sword fight everytime he comes to the manor, less for training purposes and more because Damian wants to scare him away
—Jason joins Wade and Aunt May’s Book Club…Alfred starts hosting at the Manor
—Tim starts stalking you and Wade just to make sure he’s treating you well…it’s almost endearing.
—Bruce and Wade do end up patrolling together,
—but only because Batman needs intel from Deadpool’s mark
—Wade doesn’t kill the guy because he’s trying to get on your dad’s good side
—(specifically so he can ask for his blessing to marry you)
—your dad says absolutely not along with a few other choice words
—Wade still proposes
—you threaten to have Daredevil walk you down the aisle if your dad doesn’t start being nicer to Wade
—it works
—things slowly get better with your family
—and when you and Wade have kids, they argue over who gets to be godfather
—Wade happily breaks the news that Wolverine is going to be the Godfather
—and insists that if when you have another, Dopinder will be the Godfather
—next in line is Daredevil
—you tell them that none of them can be godfather because they’re already the uncles
—Cass still gets to be the Godmother
—to all three kids
—Wade will try to convince you to have another
—you HAVE to tell him no, because he was going to make one of your brother’s godfather just to start a fight
—it was going to be Duke, because he’s the only one that doesn’t actively try to maim/kill him
—you name the last kid after Bruce
—he cries
