Athena's Ashes

Diaries of a BPD Bipolar mess

[athenas--ashes--777]

Damn...

Hi everyone, I am the bf that is mentioned over and over again on this account, my gf shared her account with me and gave me the log in info (she is with me on call as I am writing this, but doesn't know what I am writing until I post it). Just wanna say, I (try my best) to understand her bpd, I accept her as she is and would never change a thing about her, for me she is perfect. I understand I am her fp, it is a huge responsibility and burden on me at the same time, but I am managing it as best I can for her sake.

I love her, I am here for her, always.

Let this serve as a reminder for you baby, anytime you open this account when your bpd is in control... I am here for you.

[athenas--ashes--777]

you have my (irl) name and struggles, thats a bit silly i think

its a cool name no? my dms are open if u ever just wanna vent (for everyone)

[athenas--ashes--777]

getting exactly what u wanted but losing other things is such a weird kind of sadness

[athenas--ashes--777]

Ok ukw this split is valid

Imagine ur bestfriend being lowkey upset u got a job at the place she works lmao

Literally throwing away every single tool that manages my splits rn

Bpd rage here i come

[athenas--ashes--777]

the weirdest and best feeling is realizing that an fp connection is fading and going away. its like being freed, like chains being removed and youre no longer held down

you can finally see clearly and think rationally and finally finally be able to make good decisions when navigating the friendship or relationship and setting new boundaries

[athenas--ashes--777]

easy to say than doing but try not to overthink it, it doesn’t mean he’s playing an imagine with you or nothing like that, is just like a different behavior depending with who we are, for example I’m extremely wild and loud with my family, I’m very playful and quiet with my coworkers, I’m very introverted/easygoing with my bestfriends and I’m really anxious in crowds places, is just the environment and vibe, not them being someone they are not.

Hope this help you easy your mind about it lovely!

thank you for that :) it does make sense

[athenas--ashes--777]

just wondering does having a fp does makes you have feelings for them, romantically I mean or they can be friendly feelings too?

nope they can definitely be platonic doesnt have to be romantic and to me thats the more challenging and annoying version of fps

[athenas--ashes--777]

just out of curiosity is a trait in people with bpd not caring like for new friends or making new friends, it is hard for you to make, you think they are not real?

i dont think thats true no. we do care for people a lot but its complicated and different from the typical "Caring" for people. we have black and white vision and we tend to categorize people a lot and label them as good or bad or whatever based on their actions and what we think is right or not. so yeah it makes it complicated with new people and not as easy as others to navigate new friendships.

[athenas--ashes--777]

platonic friendships are hard to navigate when u have bpd. it puts us in a position where this friend has more power over us than they have in other friendships and sometimes those people use that to their advantage and its horrible.

[athenas--ashes--777]

is it really that hard to be considerate of other peoples feelings

[athenas--ashes--777]

I cant believe that most people dont have bpd and live life on easy mode without even realizing it

[athenas--ashes--777]

what the fuck does it mean when ur boyfriend acts so differently around ur friends and says stuff that dont match his personality with u im so confused

am i overthinking this too much idk

[athenas--ashes--777]

who’s your platonic fp?

can you have more han one fp?

one of my best friends is a platonic fp, she has very protective energy over me and she turned into an fp somehow its a struggle tbh

and yes u can have multiple, at least in my experience. i experience the fp symptoms with both my best friend and my boyfriend at the same time im actually not sure if anyone else relates to this, it usually obsessiveness over one person

[athenas--ashes--777]

Uk having a platonic fp is harder than having a partner who is ur fp.

[athenas--ashes--777]

Spiraling Spiraling Spiraling

My mind is going too fast

Spiraling

[athenas--ashes--777]

Being drunk is so weird i dont know anything but i know everything im sad but im happy idk

[athenas--ashes--777]

I forget that alcohol and bpd don't mix well