me last week: i’m moving out, gonna start fresh, live my best life. i’m not gonna relapse and i’m gonna be happy.
me literally 4 days after moving out:
*redownloads tumblr*
*starts rewatching skins*
*chain smokes*
*literally on a bender*
h
occasionally subtle

izzy's playlists!

if i look back, i am lost

pixel skylines
Not today Justin
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oozey mess
Three Goblin Art
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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ojovivo

Love Begins
Game of Thrones Daily
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Show & Tell
todays bird

JBB: An Artblog!
Cosmic Funnies
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@atragical
me last week: i’m moving out, gonna start fresh, live my best life. i’m not gonna relapse and i’m gonna be happy.
me literally 4 days after moving out:
*redownloads tumblr*
*starts rewatching skins*
*chain smokes*
*literally on a bender*
When I walk by a classroom skeleton and my ED tells me it’s the ideal body type:
i just want to be small.
i want slender legs with a thigh gap. i want a flat stomach and my ribs to stick out. i want a hollow face and sharp jawline. i want delicate hands with long thin fingers. i want collarbones that jut out of my t-shirts. i want hipbones that poke out of my jeans. i want to be admired, not judged.
i want to be skinny.
i need to be skinny.
Bonespo
Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow
I can’t chance not reblogging this
Well all day should be good but still
reblog to finally have smth good happen
Dear Santa,
For Christmas I would like to be skinny and less depressed
Yours truly
I’m backkkkk and here’s a comparison of then and now✨ still have a LONGGGG way to go until I’m happy but at least there’s still visible progress
when I say “re” you say “lapse”
“Re”
Kendall Jenner is ultimate thinspo 😰😍
And IM FREAKING OUT because my mums thrown the scales away and I can’t weigh myself and I won’t know how much I weigh because my doctors never tell me and I need to know I need to know I need to know
Like so much of me wants to get better and the tiny shred of me that wants that is fighting so hard, and I’m trying so so hard but I can’t stop and I’m scared. I’m tired of fighting because it’s literally physically and mentally so exhausting but I still keep going. Do I stop trying and spiral even more? Do I keep trying and hope it eventually gets better? I don’t even know what to do anymore
I’m literally at breaking point and I just know that something tiny is going to crack me and it’s going to be horrible. Today I cried at the thought of walking into a shop. I can’t even walk into a shop, I hate my fucking brain
there is nothing harder than having to pretend to be in recovery. everyone around me thinks I’m back on track and I’m getting better, my mum is actually proud of me and we’re getting on better than ever. it just hurts that I have to keep pretending all the time, I pretend to be happy, I put on makeup and do my hair to make myself look better, I eat in front of my mum so she doesn’t worry but as soon as I’m alone I’ll purge. I hate this so much. I keep telling myself to fake it till I make it, and maybe I’ll actually get better but I know that it’s only getting worse. I can’t commit to recovery and it’s so so hard and i want to spiral and get so bad that people see how bad it is again. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this
🖤🖤🖤
Stay safe