Mother. Divorcee. Airhostess.

Independant RP Multimuse. Selective. Written by Alex. Mun 18+

[honeycombwerewolfe]

"Are you going to drink that tea, or is it just here to keep you company?" - Fleur

Bernie pulled her attention back to reality at the familiar voice. To say she looked like a shell of herself would be up-selling it…she looked like that shell was dragged through the street a few miles and, well, blown up. She did manage a tiny smile, eyes more likely to cry than express any mirth. Her gaze flicked back down a moment to the cup in her hands. “I doubt it would be any good.” - Bernie took a breath before adding numbly - “It’s gone cold.”It wasn’t the warmest of welcomes…it didn’t even really open up much for conversation but it was the best Bernie could muster.@attherfingertips

[attherfingertips]

The nod is enough. It is a response in the catastrophe. A PULSE OF LIFE. Proof that there is a person, still, somewhere between still eyes and torn up hair.

She retrieves the mug with cautious grace. It scratches a little on the tabletop and reverberates through the walls. The sound puts her teeth on edge. Only then did she notice the quiet it left behind. 

“I’m going to boil the kettle now,” She forces her voice to be LOUDER. The uneasy silence will swallow you whole if you let it, 

“It’s behind you. It won’t take long.” 

Then: the wait. For another response. Another pulse. 

Fleur knows that she is alive, but really, does Bernie? 

[honeycombwerewolfe]

"Are you going to drink that tea, or is it just here to keep you company?" - Fleur

Bernie pulled her attention back to reality at the familiar voice. To say she looked like a shell of herself would be up-selling it...she looked like that shell was dragged through the street a few miles and, well, blown up. She did manage a tiny smile, eyes more likely to cry than express any mirth. Her gaze flicked back down a moment to the cup in her hands. "I doubt it would be any good." - Bernie took a breath before adding numbly - "It's gone cold." It wasn't the warmest of welcomes...it didn't even really open up much for conversation but it was the best Bernie could muster. @attherfingertips

[attherfingertips]

The brusque greeting does not give her pause. A Doctor of mothers, this is not her first time sitting with a parent bereft of a CHILD. This is as bread and butter as aneurysm to AAU, tumour to Keller. THIS IS WHAT SHE DOES. . 

Even so, she approaches with caution. At a moment’s signal, she will be PHYSICIAN or she will be FRIEND. None of her business? Maybe. But Fleur has never been much good at leaving well enough alone. 

And, to be blunt, Berenice Wolfe is anything but WELL. Lost, is one word. Withdrawn, is another. Catatonic, she finds, fits best, with her brown eyes drained out like cold, grey tea.

She rests her fingers beside the mug. A millimetre closer and the china would brush her fingertips. 

“I can change it for a warm one, if you like ?” Her lips pull tight- a smile of her own- “You don't even have to drink it if you don’t want to.” 

[attherfingertips]

Followed a ton of new mutuals recently so will probably be reflagging a million memes over the next few days.... but in the meantime.... LIKE FOR A STARTER? 

[breathtakingdestinations]

Edinburgh - Scotland (by travelmag.com) 

[a-velvetipped]

♡   /  @attherfingertips . CONT !

        WONDERFUL IS PERHAPS TOO KIND OF A COMPLIMENT and whilst it feeds the ever-so-big ego of caroline dubuis, she cannot help but feel as though she doesn’t deserve it .   material things are wonderful . the precise brushstrokes on a painting are wonderful,  the soft melodic tune that a skilled pianist plays is wonderful  . . .  

          caroline ?  oh,  caroline is nothing short of a monster .  

but her smile does grow and she finds herself cupping the face of the other woman with both hands,  one on either side of her face .  the tips of fingers settle in the perfect dips of her cheekbones,  her eyes wide and bright and sparkly,  making her look more human than not .  

‘ you do flatter me, my love . ‘  her voice is low, almost a purr and she leans in to press a kiss to the very tip of millie’s nose .  ‘ i don’t quite deserve it but i appreciate it . ‘ and she does, that’s no lie .  a hand moves now, lifting to place against the back of millie’s head,  tangling digits within dark curls.  ‘ so thank you . ‘ her words are warm, the gratitude evident .  

‘ you’re rather wonderful yourself . ‘ she returns the compliment, just gazing at her lover, admiring her with such a calm and peaceful expression .  ‘ and beautiful . and smart . my fondness for you grows every day . ‘ she’s so skilled at dishing out her sweet nothings .  ‘ i love having you around . ‘ 

[attherfingertips]

But Millie has tasted her. 

“I’m going to die soon,” She says without pity or fanfare. Probably, she will pass with neither. Not immediately, but twenty, thirty years. Let her rot a little. Soon. 

A part of Millie wishes that she’d never met Caroline- it is difficult to regret a life of parents evenings and Thursday-night Judo, if that is all you’ve ever known. Except, she did, and her head SPINS with all the things she should have done. 

And perfect, OH, that word worms itself inside of her, tangles deep in her gut. She is a woman who fifty-two years ago came into this world in a perfect cottage, fell for the perfect boy who put a ring on her finger seven months before bringing home a baby all of her own. 

The wedding, the mother-in-law would say, was perfect.  

Leave the cottage. Sell the ring. A village full of people and not one knows where she went. 

The sweet nothings dissolve, crumble like  s u g a r . Her fragile heart is a humming bird, thrumming in her chest. She is anxiety and heat and SWEAT. She does not want to be PERFECT. For now, let her settle for brave. 

Millie breathes in, deep. In the act of doing so, Caroline’s fingers catch her scalp- a touch so cold she shivers. 

“Isn't it unfair?” She uses her softest tone, built for PILLOW-TALK and SUNDAY MORNINGS. There are many. things that her lover has taught her, and charm is amongst them.

 “ To have so little time ?”

[velvetipped-a]

text message received from  @attherfingertips   :   sorry,  who’s number is this? 

[  message reply to    ⇢    millicent.  ]   darling, don’t say you’ve forgotten me already.  

[  message reply to    ⇢    millicent.  ]  caroline dubuis,  we met yesterday.  was it bold of me to assume i could use this number whenever i wanted a chat?  

[  message reply to    ⇢    millicent.  ] … or more than a chat? 

[attherfingertips]

[  message.  UNSENT .  ]  how could I have forgotten you 

[  message.  UNSENT .  ]  you know my uniform still smells like your perfume 

[  message.  UNSENT .  ]  where did you get hold of this number ?

[  message reply to    ⇢    caroline.  ]  If I didn’t know better, I might think that sounded like a preposition 

[attherfingertips]

tell me, can i do nothing?

@aluraze​ || MEMES: ACCEPTING 

Millie stares into the scuff on her shoe. IT HAS BEEN A LONG DAY, will be a longer one still, the date-line long since passed in a flying box of metal and panic and tin. It is MORNING here, the same morning she’d left. That other morning, her shoes had been new. Freshly polished. She remembered the tang of the stuff clouding the hallway of her pokey cottage. NO. Couldn’t remember. Imagine? She feels as if that should be more accurate. As if twenty four hours have severed her so far from the woman she was that the memories could not possibly be the same. 

So yes, maybe she is simply imagining the way that her new black shoes had click clack click clacked on the departure lounge floor. 

Then everything had sounded different, far up in the air. 

Shoes. The wind. Her voice, so loud on the tannoy. 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE’RE MAKING AN EMERGENCY LANDING.                  PLEASE REMAIN CALM.

And she’d been calm. Calm’s anaesthesia reaches right to her fingertips as she draws from a lit cigarette. Those hands do not SHAKE- not even now. Still as the hard ground they stand on. It’s difficult to imagine that they could ever tremble again. 

A flicker of ash catches in the wind, dances prettily in front of her eyes. Around her shoulders, the silver shock blanket squeals that horrid, metallic kind of sound. Underneath it, someone is speaking. 

The ash floats so gently to the floor. Millie does not hear a thing. 

No. No. She is far, far away, staring at her shoes. 

[vnusplanetoflove]

I hate being asked what my goal in life is…. like.. idk…?? I want to have my own kitchen… and I want to know every poem by heart… and uhh.. I want to be kissed in the rain … etc etc .. my heart is very little and I dont want it to break

[attherfingertips]

‘ you’ll feel better in the morning. ‘

@aluraze || MEMES : ACCEPTING 

When Millie first opens her eyes, her reflection is the thing that stares back. Her own face, rippling in the mirror of an airport G&T. Her mascara is smudged, red lipstick all but gone. Get close enough and you’d taste the perfume of the drink on her breath, sickly and synthetic and SWEET.  

She blinks. Once. Twice.

“On the contrary,” Says a voice, far clearer than the mind behind it. As she lifts her head, the gentle curl in her lip betrays an undercurrent of exhausted MIRTH, “I think I’m going to feel quite awful.”

[attherfingertips]

I am in a strange state of mind / (from caroline!)

@velvetipped

There is a thing that Millicent had learned, with a LOVER like Caroline: and that is that all things ‘strange’ are relative. Their very tableau may seem strange to some: two women with one face uneasily positioned in this little box of an aircraft suite. Others may find it strange that one never ages, is never warm. Another may notice that whilst Caroline is there so pensive, Millie stands in full uniform, weight on one foot, on EDGE . 

Of course, CAROLINE would find none of these things to be queer in the least. She doesn’t know if Caroline has ever been disturbed in her Life. SO WHAT, THEN? she wonders, takes a single step in advance . 

“ Oh ?”

She drops from her lips. It is a QUESTION . 

[vaememes]

𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙔   𝙎𝙃𝙀𝙇𝙇𝙀𝙔'𝙎   𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙇𝘿𝘼   𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙈𝙋𝙏𝙎.

these are taken from the book/novel with the same title, triggers may be present, proceed with caution, feel free to adjust any you that you deem necessary.

if pain can purify the heart, mine will be pure.

a nymph of the woods such as you were.

my greatest pleasure was the enjoyment of a serene sky amidst these verdant woods.

i will never desert life until this last hope is torn from my bosom.

you are still, as you ever were, lovely, beautiful beyond expression.

it was a passion that had frown with his growth…

none knew of their love except their own two hearts.

i am in a strange state of mind.

i am alone—quite alone—in the world.

i know that i am about to die and i feel happy.

perhaps a history such as mine had better die with me.

i shall never see the snows of another winter.

i am too weak both in body and mind to resist the slightest impulse.

what had i to love?

i must collect my thoughts.

i hope i have strength sufficient to fulfill it.

they were never separate and seldom admitted a third to their society.

i was born, and my mother died a few days after my birth.

when i leave this place do not expect to hear from me.

i must break all ties that at present exist.

i shall become a wanderer, a miserable outcast—alone! alone!

i ran wild about our park and the neighboring fields.

i wandered for ever about these lovely solitudes, gathering flower after flower.

when i looked round and found none to love; but i quickly dried my tears.

i found others highly interesting which i had before neglected as dull.

i had been a dreamer.

i never found courage to depart.

he/she/they will love me!

i can hardly prevent myself from hastening immediately to you.

i could not sleep but paced all night about my chamber.

i looked more like a spirit than a human maid.

i had so beloved a companion for my rambles.

is it not strange that grief should quickly follow so divine a happiness?

i had no idea that misery could arise from love.

i remember we had talked of future travels that we should undertake together—.

should give my poor heart life?

i will not dwell longer than I need on these disastrous circumstances.

but days of peaceful melancholy were of rare occurrence.

i, foolish and presumptuous wretch!

i entreat you and listen to me: do not turn away from me.

tell me, can i do nothing?

you well know that on the whole earth there is no sacrifice that i would not make.

you are indeed presumptuous, [name:optional], presumptuous and very rash.

i will be very patient.

am i the cause of your grief?

i demand, and most solemnly i demand if in any way i am the cause of your unhappiness.

do not urge me to your destruction.

speak that word; it will bring peace, not death.

we shall be happy; there will no longer be doubt.

why do you bring me out, and torture me, and tempt me, and kill me—

we shall love each other as before, and for ever.

my affection will soothe your sorrow.

what do you mean?

you know not what you mean.

but your words i cannot bear.

but you only confirm my resolution to put an end to this state of doubt.

am i not the most miserable worm that crawls?

do i not embrace your knees, and you most cruelly repulse me?

i know it—i see it—you hate me!

you are my bane, my poison, my disgust!

perhaps i am changed in mien as the fallen archangel.

were not those the words you uttered?

i can no longer sustain myself; surely this is death that is coming.

let me lay my head near your heart; let me die in your arms!

come, come, the worst is past: no more grief, tears or despair..

i am chilled by the snows of winter!

from whom is this letter?

i have betrayed your confidence.

i am sure i should feel it even in my grave.

it is a strange link in my fate that without having seen you i should passionately love you.

i dwelt on your looks, your words, your motions, and drank in unmixed delight.

i must be more brief for night draws on apace and all my hours in this house are counted.

was my love blamable?

i should certainly have died if you had not hastened to me.

do i not look forward to a miserable future?

is not this a fearful curse that i labor under?

it is far better for your peace that you should be ignorant of my destination.

you will not do this, i know you will not.

you must forget me and all the evil that i have taught you.

the sound is the same as that which i heard in my dream.

where is now my hope?

do not mistake me; i never was really mad.

is she/he/they dead?

what is death? to see you no more?

i had fallen at once from bliss to misery.

we know not what all this wide world means; its strange mixture of good and evil.

do you think i sow my seed in the barren air, and have no end in what i do?

are you not young, and fair, and good?

if you can never be happy, can you never bestow happiness?

hope, and your wounds will be already half healed.

love is a delicate sprite and easily hurt by rough jealousy.

i feel death to be near at hand and i am calm.

[attherfingertips]

me: revamps my blog and introduces two new muses to play with, makes icons, starts threads, gets asks from loads of awesome people

also me: ignores absolutely all of that to write Ratched fanfiction

[rivvah]

taylor swift * folklore starters

THE 1

i’m doing good, i’m on some new shit

and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed

but we were something, don’t you think so?

and if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you

in my defence, i have none

but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one

if one thing had been different, would everything be different today

CARDIGAN

when you are young they assume you know nothing

i knew you

baby kiss it better

you put me on and said i was your favourite

a friend to all is a friend to none

chase two girls, lose the one

you drew stars around my scars

but now i’m bleeding

tried to change the ending

i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs

cause i knew everything when i was young

and i knew you’d come back to me

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY

how did a middle class divorcée do it?

there’s only so far new money goes

their parties were tasteful, if a little loud

there goes the last great american dynasty

who knows, if she never showed up what could’ve been

she had a marvellous time ruining everything

there goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen

she stole his dog and dyed it key lime green

i had a marvellous time ruining everything

EXILE

i can see you standin’ honey

and it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it

i think i’ve seen this film before

you’re not my homeland anymore

now i’m in exile seein’ you out

i can see you starin’ honey

like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me

those eyes add insult to injury

i’m not your problem anymore

so who am i offending now?

we always walked a very thin line

you didn’t even hear me out

i never learned to read your mind

MY TEARS RICOCHET

even on my worst day, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?

i swear i loved you

i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace

and if i’m dead to you, why are you at the wake?

you know i didn’t want to have to haunt you

cause when i’d fight, you used to tell me i was brave

and i can go anywhere i want, just not home

you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

you turned into your worst fears

MIRRORBALL

and when i break, it’s in a million pieces

hush

you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes spinning in my highest heels

i know they said the end is near

i can change everything about me to fit in

i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me

i’m still a believer but i don’t know why

SEVEN

please picture me in the trees

i was too scared to jump in

are there still beautiful things?

cross your heart, won’t tell no other

and thought i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you

love you to the moon and to saturn

and i’ve been meaning to tell you

i think your house is haunted

i used to scream ferociously

AUGUST

i never needed anything more

are you sure?

never have i ever before

cause it was never mine

and i can see us twisted in bedsheets

cause you were never mine

i remember thinking i had you

wanting was enough

for me, it was enough

so much for summer love, and saying “us”

cause you weren’t mine to lose

THIS IS ME TRYING

i’ve been having a hard time adjusting

i didn’t know if you’d care if i came back

i have a lot of regrets about that

and maybe i don’t quite know what to say

i just wanted you to know that this is me trying

they told me all of my cages were mental

so i got wasted like all my potential

i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

but i didn’t pour the whiskey

at least i’m trying

it’s hard to be anywhere these days

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

make sure nobody sees you leave

tell your friends you’re out for a run

take the road less travelled by

and that’s the thing about illicit affairs

like you don’t even exist

but they lie, and they lie, and they lie, a million little times

don’t call me kid

don’t call me baby

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

for you, i would ruin myself

INVISIBLE STRING

i used to think i would meet somebody there

were there clues i didn’t see?

all along, there was some invisible string tying you to me

you ate at my favourite spot for dinner

something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

one single thread of gold tied me to you

hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

MAD WOMAN

what did you think i’d say to that?

what do you sing on your drive home?

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy

and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry

what a shame, she went mad

no one likes a mad woman

you made her like that

it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together

cause you took everything from me

the master of spin has a couple side flings

good wives always know

EPIPHANY

just a flesh wound

___, i think he’s bleedin’ out

something med school did not cover

doc, i think she’s crashin’ out

and some things you just can’t speak about

to make some sense of what you’ve seen

BETTY

but i think it’s cause of me

it’s like i couldn’t breathe

you can’t believe a word she says

the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you

would you have me?

would you want me?

would you tell me to go straight to hell?

i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything

but i know i miss you

just thinking of you

i dreamt of you all summer long

the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you

PEACE

i never had the courage of my convictions

as long as danger is near

but i would die for you in secret

the devil’s in the details

but you got a friend in me

your integrity makes me seem small

and you know that i’d swing with you for the fences

and you know that i’d sit with you in the trenches

and you know that i’d give you my wild

and you know that i’d give you my child

is it enough?

all these people think love’s for show

would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

HOAX

this has broken me down

stood on the cliffside screaming “give me a reason”

your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in

don’t want no other shade of blue but you

i am ash from your fire

you know i left a part of me back in new york

you knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for

you knew it still hurts underneath my scares

you knew you won, so what’s the point of keeping score?

darling, this was just as hard

you have beaten my heart

no other sadness in the world would do

[anappropriatenumberofstairs]

Not to be dramatic but Gwendolyn Briggs… I would die for you

[attherfingertips]

Like for a Plotting call anyone ? 

[attherfingertips]

"you had a long, hard day... didn't you?"

@illuminans

Millie sighs and smiles but the energy fails her halfway through. It comes out... wonky. No façade left to give. The day had been far longer than she’d realised. 

Good friends are of short supply on this, stickier, side of Atlantic << NOT A SHY SOCIALITE OF PARIS ANYMORE. >>. The California dream is a quickly dying thing, fading like the last light in the cigarette between her fingers.  That said, she finds that she harbours something of a fondness for its people: they ask you how they are, you know they mean it. 

Millie rests her sore head on the first three knuckles of her hand, and decides to answer in truth, 

“ Is there any other kind, these days ? ” 

[attherfingertips]

‘ what are you still doing up? ‘ / caroline!

@lettersburnt

“Darling,” the sound leaves Millie’s lips gentle as the breeze. Her lover moves silently and it is still a thing that Millie is getting used to. Not even the noise of breath. If Caroline has footsteps, she’s never heard them padding across the floorboards of this funny place they call home. 

Even now, the hairs on the back of her neck are flat - as if they still do not believe that she is being  w a t c h e d.

She blinks, turns unsteady lip into a smile. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” She stutters and it sounds a little like an excuse. 

“I didn’t disturb you....

                            did I?”