attic chest

laughing till our ribs get tough

[attic-chest]

whew that fucking retrograde was one of the worsts. i survived and renewed.

blessingssss from my angels

[attic-chest]

feelin way too much today

i want to write on mg journal about these feelings but it's already late or post a tweet but being me, i dont want anyone knowing how i feel sometimes. oh wait i remembered i have a journal app okay bye

[attic-chest]

news about emman's passing feels heavy to me right now.

telling my friends i'm always here when they're in pain or struggling and yet i cant even come forward to say everything that's rotting inside me to anyone. i tell them, dont ever feel like you're a burden (which they're not) and yet i feel like i'm bothering them if i tell them what i really feel. it feels hypocritical of me.

one of my closest friends even told me that im that one friend she cant tell her struggles to because my energy's different. not in a bad way. she said, i'm that one friend na ang dami nyang nilulook forward when she talks to me and we're hanging out together.

in a way, it was flattering but kinda also felt sad that they think im not someone they can run to when they feel alone. i dont want to be a fair-weather friend. i want to be there for them and get through anything with them because they mean so much to me.

but on a different perspective, maybe she just doesnt want to ruin her happy space. maybe, im the one she can go to so she wont feel sad. maybe she forgets her problems when she's with me and im a ray of sunshine after all.

that's how i want to look at it and i realized that i want to be that friend. someone who helps them chase their sadness away. i want to make my friends laugh, have a good time and feel even for a moment that life's also about happy moments like this.

and maybe that's why i cant tell them or show them that im struggling too. because that's how i want them to see me. i want to become somewhat a piece of hope for them. i dont want to add up to their load anymore. i dont want to become too much.

[sahlesummerhill]

[achillesinhighheels]

[road0flife]

[attic-chest]

i feel so behind

[etherea1ity]

Monet's Garden, Giverny, France ( via )

[glowcowboy]

i love re-consuming media i used to love when i was younger. like wow! child me still is in me i am holding her hand and keeping her safe and doing her favorite things with her!!!!

[attic-chest]

i miss the dagat so much

[priveting]

Photographer:  K. Lin ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛs. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ. ♥

[vexheart]

[unfxded]

⠀

[attic-chest]

i can feel wildly inspired and a total shit at the same time, ya know.

and that's pre-menstrual syndrome for you

[attic-chest]

living in the city is just so damn depressing sometimes.

all my life i've always known im made to live in the province. away from all these bustling streets and depressing concrete buildings.

i want to be surrounded by grass, trees, flowers. places where birds sing to you in the morning. the sound of roosters wake you up and no matter how hard you still try to snooze, you'll have to get up because the day awaits you.

a cold morning breeze and a warm cup of coffee or hot choco in hand.

you take a sip while you look over the rice paddies while rays of sun try to shine trough the hollows of the tree branches and leaves.

that's the kind of life i want. i want to smell the earth and touch the sand whenever i want because it's that accessible. i want to ride a bike and just go swim in the nearest river or sea whenever i want.

im meant for a life rooted in nature, not here.

[dolutufegiterstut]

[ten-don]

雨之炎さんはTwitterを使っています: 「今日の　おはぼたん https://t.co/5bWkAtosxQ」 / Twitter

[unconditionedconsciousness]