ATTIC

a taste of unlived nostalgia

[attic-zine]

the sounds of july

aka the 15 songs i’m hooked on right now... in no particular order

1.‘No Cure’ BRENDA KAHN Destination Anywhere (1996)

2. ‘The Village in the Morning’ THE MAGNETIC FIELDS Get Lost (1995)

3. ‘Open’ THE CURE Wish (1992)

4. ‘Rhymes of an Hour’ MAZZY STAR Among My Swan (1996)

5. ‘The Way Young Lovers Do’ JEFF BUCKLEY Live at the Bataclan (1995)

6. ‘Breathing Fear’ KITCHENS OF DISTINCTION The Death of Cool (1992)

7. ‘River of Deceit’ MAD SEASON Above (1995)

8. ‘Germayne (Like a Cathedral)’ THE CLEANERS FROM VENUS Number Thirteen (1990)

9. ‘In the Gold Dust Rush’ COCTEAU TWINS Head Over Heels (1983)

10. ‘Planet’ THE SUGARCUBES Here, Today, Tomorrow Next Week! (1989)

11. ‘The Letter’ DEUX FILLES Silence & Wisdom (1982)

12. ‘Boys Don’t Matter’ BLUEBOY Unisex (1994)

13. ‘Carrion’ FIONA APPLE Tidal (1996)

14. ‘Primitive Painters’ FELT & ELIZABETH FRASER Ignite the Seven Cannons (1985)

15. ‘Feed Me’ JULIANA HATFIELD I See You (1992)

photograph of mazzy star

[attic-zine]

dancing in the dark

a conversation with tinnie

Deep thoughts. New ideas. Constant movement. Sudden epiphanies. Being consumed by nostalgia. The urge to be impulsive. The former are just a few of the words that come to mind when I think of my friend, Tinnie.

Now, listen, she is not like the rest of us. In fact, she is the literal epitome of ‘unusual’, as her distinctive name itself may suggest. I mean, have you ever met a girl named Tinnie before? She may come across as your typical Swedish blue-eyed gal at first, but once you get to know her, a gate to a world of eccentrities and excitement is opened, and your life will never be the same again. It’s difficult to pinpoint what it is about her that makes her stand out from a crowd, but no matter what, you will always find her. I can safely say that I would not be the person I am today had I not become friends with Tinnie.

I first met her in fifth grade when we were both just 11 years old. I saw her from afar and thought she looked really cool, exactly the kind of girl I wanted to be. This was the thought that occurred to me before I had even talked to her and only attempted to scratch the surface. However, my first impression of her was somewhat accurate because, for reasons beyond my own control, we ended up hanging out almost every day after school and before either of us noticed, eight years sitting in my room or hers, talking about the most insane shit that had ever crossed either of our minds, had passed... All in the blink of an eye. Our main source of bonding remains unknown to this day, but perhaps it could be our mutual, and rather odd, perceptions of the world and everything within it, as well as our shared endeavors of hopeless romanticism and the (sub)conscious determination to never accept reality for what it truly is.

I wanted to interview Tinnie because she’s an incredibly important element in me finally bringing this magazine together as both her and I have always obsessed over ‘90s editorials, and it would just be ludicrous of me to leave her out of the very first issue. Aside from that, she is one of the most interesting people I have ever met who is always burning with the uttermost passion to laugh, dance, scream, cry, and to exist. Plus, she is incredibly photogenic, regardless of what she might have to say about it. So, here is our one-and-a-half-hour-long conversation — which got rather cynical and dismal at times (as our conversations often do) — transcribed. Enjoy.

So, Tinnie, why do you love dancing so much?

(laughs in confusion) I don’t know... I’ve been doing it since I was a little kid. I couldn’t tell you if I wanted to. I can’t put words on it. It’s a way of self-expression for me. But you know what, I barely dance seriously nowadays... I just do it because it’s fun. But that’s exactly why I dance — because it’s fun. Why else would you do it? You don’t need to take everything so seriously all the time.

You’re right. That’s something we do a lot — we just laugh at everything because why bother?

Yeah, even though it can be hard sometimes. But instead of feeling sorry for myself, I just try to focus on the fun parts of it all. That’s also why it’s important to have people in your life who you can laugh and have fun with, especially if you’re like me and good at getting yourself in a bad mood and just being negative. I saw a video the other day where this skateboarder who hadn’t skated for years tried doing a trick he used to be really good at, but then he fell and broke his ankle. Despite that, everybody around him was just like ‘look how happy he is...’. He broke his foot, the ambulance got there and he was hurting really bad, but they didn’t turn it into a big deal because they were all in a positive mindset. He was just like ‘fuck it! At least I tried. The wound will heal in no time’, you know? It’s important to not let the little things get to you.

What else really moves you?

Uh... I would say boats. I’m sorry, what was the question? Illnesses. Diseases. Snakes. 

I mean positive things...

Doing make-up. I don’t know... I like it because I’m creative, I guess. It’s also one of the few things that allows my mind to fully focus because it’s something that I’m really interested in. That’s just the way my mind works. (pause, she remembers something) I’m just like that guy in The Stone Roses.

Huh?

You know, the interview where they’re asking him a bunch of questions and he’s just like ‘I don’t know... I’m just doing what I think is fun...’ (uncontrollable laughter follows)

How would you define the word ‘youth’?

Fun. You can do whatever the hell you want. Freedom. Peace. A pain in the ass...

What do you mean by that?

You know, when you’re young, you just don’t have any real responsibilities. What do I mean by ‘peace’? Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. (laughs as she’s thinking about their song of the same name) Just listen to that song.

And why is it ‘a pain in the ass’?

Because it’s just so... There’s this stigma around being a teenager, that you have to have fun and you have to drink, you have to do this and that. You know? That’s something that everybody says is all a part of being a teenager... (covers her head and mimicks her head exploding) Nobody cares. It doesn’t matter if you’re 40 or 14 years old when you start drinking. (laughs) Why am I talking about alcohol? This doesn’t have anything to do with it...

What is a song that radiates good vibes for you?

‘Good Vibrations’ (another Marky Mark song). Just kidding. I’m not obsessed with him, okay? I would say ‘Keep on Smilin’’ by NKOTB. I just get happy when I hear it. I always listen to the words. The song is just really positive. I love it.

What’s your favorite scent of anything?

Chocolate. (laughter) No, let me think a little... Something from my childhood probably. I can’t remember though.

What about your essential oils?

Dragon’s blood! Definitely. It just smells so good.

What movie will you never get tired of?

‘Dirty Dancing’. It just reminds me of summer. 

What is your main goal right now?

Graduating. Getting my fucking diploma. Really. Just getting my certificate. (gets all excited) In one year, I might have my certificate!! I haven’t thought that long ahead... You saw the joy in my eyes, right? I might start crying right now. I’ll get my diploma and it will say ‘certified make-up artist’ on it... Wait, I just got really excited about school! I might actually bawl my eyes out if I receive my certificate at graduation. I’ll pass out. I’ll die.

If you could go back to a decade, which one would you choose?

The ‘80s. The whole decade was great from beginning to end, from 1980 to 1989.

What is it about the ‘80s?

There was good music everywhere. Good shit was happening all the time (not allll the time though). You could go to all these incredible concerts. Everything just seemed so fun and happy. There was life all around.

Who’s your biggest inspiration?

My mom. She’s just really good at teaching me how to direct my thinking, to have a more positive mindset. Ugh, it sounds so cliché... (‘Dreams’ by The Cranberries starts playing in the background) And that’s my mom’s favorite song. My mom is basically the reason that I’m still going to school, the only reason behind my motivation. She always asks me questions like ‘why do you do the things you do?’ so I would reflect on them and come to my own conclusions. She’s my inspiration for everything.

Let’s get deep now... What do you really think of our generation?

People our age tend to be addicted to their phones and social media, which eventually leads to them suffering from really bad social anxiety. We’re just so overwhelmed. All the time. I don’t feel like I relate to our generation. You know, I’d rather be a teenager in like 2008 than right now.

Really? For me it’s the opposite. I feel like people our age are finally beginning to realize that we should put our phones down sometimes and try to live in the moment more. 

Yeah, that’s true. I noticed this when I was in Greece, how people our age would just be out and having fun, and actually talk to each other. But then the part where we try to make friends is so different from what it used to be, you know, like asking for someone’s number? Nobody does that anymore. Our generation asks for socials. And then people just text each other, they don’t talk. (holds her head in distress) We’re all so heavily influenced by social media...

Yeah, people try to change themselves and fit in with how people look on social media... 

Exactly.

Songs trend for 15 minutes and people listen to them solely because everybody else is doing it.

Yeah. People can’t relax and have a really hard time being themselves because they’re so affected by it all. They’re influenced by everything they see on social media — what everybody else is doing, what they’re wearing, what they look like...

You mean, instead of trying to find themselves, they are busy looking for ways to better adjust themselves to the rest? To be socially accepted by people on the internet?

Exactly! Nowadays, it’s just... What we kind of talked about before, people are so serious all the time, and they have trouble with looking at things with more positivity.

I think our generation is just really tense all the time because we have to put up with so much, like global warming and all this shit with social media... 

Yeah, it has a lot to do with all these apps. People are constantly stressed about everything they see and everything they read on there.

Everything just seems to feel more real, much more direct, because we can so easily obtain all of this information. It feels like we’re living it all.

I was just watching an interview with this older singer and he was talking about how nowadays, we have all this easy access to things but back then they couldn’t look up all these small things that, at the end of the day, didn’t matter. They just minded their own business.

We’re all so caught up with everyone else’s lives instead of focusing on our own problems because we’re constantly being fed all this information on social media. It’s all there, handed to us on a silver platter. I remember reading somewhere how we as human beings are not made for this kind of world, how our brains just can’t handle it — no wonder we’re all so stressed! People are overwhelmed because it’s not in our nature to deal with this many things all at once.

Yeah. There’s not that many people who realize that that’s the problem. It’s scary.

People in this day and age don’t seem to think a lot, like really think, because we spend so much time on the internet.

They’re reading what others are posting on social media, and all the comments that follow.

Yeah, and they might not notice that they’re being influenced by it all. But they are. It’s going to leave a mark. The way we’re following all these celebrities and retrieving information about them every day stimulates our brains too much. People have trouble sleeping because their brains are activated all the time.

Yeah, I know people like that. They always tell me “you don’t get it... There’s so many other things going on, that’s why I can’t sleep”, and they’re partially right, of course there are other things that affect it too, but the worst thing is that they’re looking at their phones all the time.

That’s what worsens it by a 100. 

The older people, they get it. People our age are so ignorant towards them. They just think, “ugh, my grandma is nagging me so much about my phone”, but they’re actually right.

Just sitting and talking for hours without looking at a screen with someone is rare these days. Disconnecting yourself completely seems almost impossible to do.

Exactly. It’s scary.

The contrast between then and now is scary, too. The first thing we think of when we wake up is ‘I need to check how many likes this post got last night’, ‘who has seen my story?’, ‘has anyone texted me?’, whereas back then, it was much more laid-back and not all that intrusive. People weren’t concerned about the whole world.

Yeah, they were more focused on their own doings, their own friends and own life. A lot of teenagers nowadays have trouble finding themselves, but then they spend their time scrolling on TikTok and watching videos like ‘sometimes I want to be this, other times I want to be that’... And then they read about 80 comments underneath those posts.

The answer to finding yourself is getting off TikTok. If you want to be happy, you just have to turn that phone off sometimes. You will lose yourself completely if you read all these comments. You won’t be able to distinguish your own opinions from others’.

It’s sad. I hate seeing this happening to so many people around me.

Alright, enough with this never-ending pessimism... Do you believe in life after death?

Yes. I believe that our bodies die, but not our souls. Like energy. That doesn’t die either.

What is a lesson you recently learned?

I have actually noticed that I don’t learn much from my past mistakes. (laughter) It’s true! Because I’m just so incredibly impulsive. I don’t want to blame my ADHD, but...

What is your favorite memory of anything?

There’s so much that happens all the time, I can’t even remember...

A recent memory then?

My trip to Greece... Nightswimming in the sea. That was the most fun. There were crazy big waves. It just felt like a dream. You can’t do that here (in Sweden), just go and take a dip somewhere downtown.

If you could say something to your younger self, what would it be? 

“Shut up”. I talked crazy much.

(laughter) As if you don’t talk much anymore...

Yeah, I do. But I don’t mean it in a negative way because I used to be so carefree. I wasn’t in my head so much. Now, all I ever think about is ‘oh God, why am I talking so much?’ but back then, that never occurred to me.

So you would actually like to go back to your younger self and maybe tell your future self “just stay carefree”?

Exactly. You just read my mind. 

I wish we had more questions... 

Yeah, like ‘have you ever smoked pot?’...

Have you ever smoked pot?

I don’t count that one time. I only inhaled three times.

And what did you think of the experience?

Well, I didn’t get high so there’s not much to say. I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re a sensitive person, though. My friend got high and she got all paranoid. She was panicking and screaming because she didn’t understand where she was. If you’re already worried about something and then you do that, you’re just going to get even more worried. I feel like in general, it’s something that people really romanticize. Getting high, I mean. Drinking and smoking cigarettes, too. If you really think about it, people do these things because they just try to bring out this side of themselves that basically doesn’t exist, or exists, but not unless they’re under the influence. In a way, I can relate to it because when you drink, you just feel it right away, like ‘oh, I’m so much more talkative and can express myself better’. But you see, I’m aware of that, so when it happens, I think more like ‘I should work on that side of myself without alcohol’. It scares me because all I can think in a situation like this is ‘no, no, no — I have to learn how to behave this way without it!’. I’m not trying to say that I’m perfect because I’m not, and I get it — it’s not easy for everyone, and I understand why people drink... But instead of pouring alcohol down our throats to find solutions to our problems, we should just try to work on ourselves...

photography by emily tali

[attic-zine]

on jeff buckley and music

an interview with jomana

On a particularly chilly evening in the early fall of 2022, I heard my dad blasting a concert from the living room. Curious to know who he was listening to, I walked into my living room and stood by the TV as a guy wearing a light blue blouse and a guitar around his waist was belting in a falsetto on the screen. “Have you ever heard of Jeff Buckley?” my dad asked me. His name immediately sounded familiar to me and for some reason, I remembered my dad telling me he had passed from years prior to that. I told him I hadn’t listened to him but that I knew of him. In that moment, I went back to my room and looked for him on Spotify. I then found ‘Grace’ and skimmed through the album in a haste (trust me, I’m still kicking myself for it...). Despite the quick and inattentive skimming, however, I ended up finding two songs I really liked — ‘Lover, You Should’ve Come Over’ which was the song my dad had told me was his favorite, and ‘Forget Her’, which, to my surprise, I later found out that Jeff himself had hated. I listened to these two songs on repeat during the following months of fall, but that was about it.

Then, as New Year’s Eve all of a sudden rolled around, I came across a short clip of Jeff reciting his poem ‘New Year’s Prayer’ and something happened to me... I was completely mesmerized by this poem he was reading out loud to a small audience in a coffeehouse, his choice of words and the way he carried himself all put me in a trance. My first reaction was ‘of course he wrote all of these beautiful songs...’. The following day, I was watching and reading every interview, listening to every song, and just trying to keep myself from going insane. From out of the blue, I had found the most incredibly compelling artist to ever grace the Earth. Everything he said, everything he sang, it all just made perfect sense to me. There was something so intriguing about him that stood out from the long line of masterminds behind my other favorite albums and songs. I loved how there was no filter to him, and how he would always speak his mind so eloquently. I loved the way he wrote in his journals and the way he chose to express himself through words and music. Everything about him was just so real.

I knew right from the beginning that it was more than just an obsession with a musician. Thanks to him, I was able to discover a whole different world of music. Without even realizing it, I was listening to everything with a whole new mindset. What excited me even more was that every single one of my favorite artists who I had been listening to prior to Jeff were also his favorites, or even friends of his — Nina Simone, Cocteau Twins, The Stone Roses, The Smiths, Led Zeppelin, Billie Holiday, and Björk, to name a few... This alone made me feel like I was meant to find him, to discover Jeff and his art in order to not only make better sense of myself, but also the music I was listening to. He has definitely helped me re-realize my love for music, and has inspired me immensely with my own. It was all just a matter of time.

Thanks to Jeff, I have also been lucky enough to find these beautiful people who view music the same way I do, one of them being Jomana. Because he is practically the basis of our friendship, I have decided to compose an interview in regards to Jeff and his music, to talk to her about what makes him such a special, one-of-a-kind artist, and why she is so captivated by him and his art.

I know that we could spend hours and hours talking about Jeff and music, but I want to start easy with you... What was the first song by him that you fell in love with?

It’s not really a song by him, but a song that made me realize that he was actually incredible was his cover of ‘I Know It’s Over’ since my sister was a huge fan of the Smiths, and I listened to Jeff’s cover instead of the original thinking that it was his song. But the first song by him that I loved was ‘I Want Someone Badly’. I think the reason why I loved it so much was because of how powerful his voice was. The first three seconds or so had already done it for me the first time I listened because of how incredible he sounded. It was unlike anything I’d ever heard before. I was shocked.

When it comes to Jeff’s music, what is it that resonates with you the most about it?

There’s so much I could say oh my God… But if I had to pick one thing it would probably be how authentic and real his songs feel, what with his honest lyrics and raw vocals. It’s like every song is a different emotional experience and it just makes them sooo special. Especially with some of his more quiet songs that haven’t been properly produced in a studio and all. It doesn’t feel like he’s just singing for his job, it’s so obvious how passionate he is about his music, and it sometimes almost feels like he’s singing for you, if you know what I’m trying to say… His songs feel so pure and not heavily commercialized in any sense, and I just love that so much.

What are your favorite Jeff lyrics?

That question is almost impossible to answer... But at the moment, I think my favorite lyric is “I love your voice and your dance insane” from ‘Dream Brother’ because it’s just such a beautiful way of wording what he was trying to say. I’m not sure how to explain, but he made a sentence that could’ve been so simple into something so hauntingly beautiful, especially the “dance insane” part. Also, the way he sings it in the song is beautiful and always gives me chills. My favorite Jeff lyrics are personally his most simple because they may seem super on the nose and not too deep when read, but with his delivery it gives those so-called ‘simple words’ such a unique and almost significant sound. It’s just incredible.

What is one song by Jeff you wish you could see him perform live?

Again, almost impossible to answer… But the first one that comes to mind is instantly ‘Mojo Pin’. No performance of that song is the same and he truly put so much heart and passion into every single live performance of that song. It is so beautiful and almost rewarding to hear — it actually feels like a privilege to hear and see how he makes the song truly come to life onstage. If I saw it live I genuinely think I’d pass out…

What is the most common set of emotions that you tend to feel when listening to Jeff’s music? Or is it different every time?

I’d say different every time in terms of super specific emotions that I feel, like I definitely don’t feel the same when I listen to like ‘Yard of Blonde Girls’ and ‘Lover, You Should’ve Come Over’… But I’d say that I always feel almost hypnotized by whatever song I’m listening to by him, it’s like his songs actually put me in a trance or something, and all I can focus on when I listen to them is the music. I can’t ever play his music as background noise because I’ll end up getting distracted from whatever I’m doing and I’ll just be completely focused on the music.

If you could go back in time and hear one of Jeff’s songs for the first time again, which one would you choose?

I’d say ‘So Real’. It was definitely the song that made me become super into Jeff. I had — obviously — previously realized that he was amazing through his other songs but ‘So Real’ is what made me realize that I needed to listen to ‘Grace’. It was completely unlike anything else I’d ever heard before, but not in like a weird way, more in like a “I didn’t know songs could actually be this good” way. I remember being in literal shock after I heard it. I had no clue what I was expecting but it definitely wasn’t something that incredible, and I’m so grateful that I ran out of skips that day so I had to listen to it…

If Jeff was still alive, what would you tell him if you got to meet him?

I would ramble on a lot, mostly about how incredible he is and how much his music means to me. Something specific I’d tell him is probably how impactful his music is for so many different people, all because of his vulnerability in his songs and records. I’d definitely tell him to keep being honest and real because that’s what makes people feel that strong connection to the music, and I would thank him a ton for how much his music and honesty has impacted me in so many different ways!

Finally, what is the most ideal way to listen to Jeff?

Personally, I’d say on any form of physical media — preferably vinyl because everything sounds better on vinyl — and with ‘Grace’ specifically, listening to it on vinyl with the lights off, and incense and candles lit is the most perfect way to fully experience the album in the way I believe it was intended to be listened to. Also no distractions! The music is too good and needs to be fully focused on to be truly understood and enjoyed. But honestly, anything that works is great, I mostly listen to his music on vinyl and CD, but as long as the music is being enjoyed it’s all good!

And Jomana is very much right about that last part, so don’t forget to take notes. There is nothing that could compare to the lingering scent of nag champa incense filling the room as Jeff’s fervent vocals and wailing guitar break through the smoke, causing your body, soul and mind to float into what seems like an alternate universe... To explain it in subtle terms, it is an otherwordly experience. I highly recommend!

photography by guido harari, 1995

[attic-zine]

spellbound by art

an interview with the aspiring artists of today

I value creativity to an exceptionally large degree. I believe that no matter what, where, or when, there is always time to be inventive, to scratch your brain and dig deeper into your soul; to seek adventure within yourself. Most people would disagree and consider it a waste of time — I’m sure — and would much rather spend it doing something ‘productive’ that would benefit the society in some way. But what these people don’t know is that art is much bigger than any one of us, and whether you like it or not, it’s everywhere. After all, life imitates art, and not the other way around. To quote Dead Poets Society: “Medicine, law, business, engineering — these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance love... These are what we stay alive for.” I always think of this quote whenever I’m having a conversation about creativity and art with someone as I feel that it perfectly encapsulates the way I see it. I deem creativity as a crucial element in bringing one’s true colors to the front, forgetting all about the way we tend to satirize ourselves — especially on the internet and social media — and just allowing ourselves to be real. Writing, painting, dancing — these are all ways to lose yourself in the torment of reality and instead focus on something beautiful, something that fully consumes your soul and only allows you to see the beauty in even the most appalling of things.

I wanted to talk about creativity with a few friends of mine — all who are fascinated by different forms of art — in hopes of enlightening not only ourselves but also anyone reading this, and perhaps getting a clearer image of what it really means to let yourself get lost in creativity, to be completely spellbound by art, and why it moves us so immensely.

First off, what’s your preferred form of art?

Aziza: I’d say personally, my favorite form of art has to be collages. I’ve been making collages longer than any other type of art; ever since I was a little kid, I was obsessed with scrapbooks and magazine cutouts. Collage, photomontages, digital, physical, I love anything that involves taking pictures apart and turning them into something new. I think what’s so appealing to me about it is that you don’t have to create something from scratch — you have all the separate elements at your disposal, and your job from thereon is to use them to create your own unique work.

Hayden: Music, definitely. I love the different soundscapes one can make with music, and all of the techniques one can employ. Each instrument can convey different feelings, and artists can use that to their advantage. One of my favorite examples of this is ‘The Downward Spiral’ by Nine Inch Nails: the band uses an array of instruments and vocal techniques to really show when the protagonist is feeling something. When he’s angry, the instrumental shows it, and I think that’s beautiful.

Juniper: I think what I do the most is usually poetry and filmmaking. I put a lot of my emotions into poetry, so they’re often pretty sentimental to me, especially looking back on those I wrote years ago. I’m lucky enough to be friends with musicians, who have used my poetry as song lyrics, which is a massive thing for me! I also spend a lot of time making films, just shooting footage of my friends and I, and chopping it up into a video, putting songs I like in the background. I’ve been doing those for a few years now too, and I love them!

Olivia: I would definitely say I lean towards performing art and all that comes along with it but over the past year, I’ve definitely learned to love writing scripts the most. I love acting and directing as well but being able to write my own scripts has unlocked a new perspective for the type of artist I present myself as.

Is there anyone in particular that inspires you?

A: I think of all the artists that have inspired me in the past, the most obvious choice for me would be Hannah Höch. Anyone who knows me and my art knows that she’s one of my favorites. I lost interest in collages at some point in middle school, when art stopped being about making whatever I wanted and started being about impressing my teachers and peers with my pencil portraits. It wasn’t until high school when I discovered Hannah Höch that I remembered what I was really passionate about. I first learned about Höch while researching various artists for a school project, though I don’t remember which one, since I’m pretty sure I spoke about her art in every school project during that time. It’s not just her absurdist collages that had a huge influence on my own style, but her philosophy on art really shaped my own. I think if it weren’t for Hannah Höch, I would still be making those pencil portraits in a bid to prove to myself that I’m a real artist.

H: Well, it depends on the genre of music. However, The one who has inspired me the most is probably Radiohead. I love how they play with interconnecting melodies in ways that I could not have expected. Take ‘Weird Fishes/Arpeggi’ for example. They have different instruments playing at different rhythms: the drums play a simple 4/4 backbeat, while one guitar plays a 3/4 riff over it. After, more guitars come in to play more riffs over that, this time in 5/4 — this results in a cluster of notes that, in any normal circumstance, would never work together. However, because all of the instruments play at different rhythms, none of them arrive at these notes at the same time, completely negating that problem. Additionally, the lack of a rhythmic center causes the listener to be enveloped in music and noise, fitting for the lyrics. It’s genius. I also love their experimentation. Not one of their albums sound the same. They are constantly pushing boundaries: they went from ‘OK Computer’, an art rock masterpiece of the 90s, to ‘Kid A’, an experimental rock album that borders EDM at times. They are trying new things from the jazzy ‘Amnesiac’, the looping ‘King of Limbs’, to the beautiful orchestral ‘A Moon Shaped Pool’. Bands like Queens of the Stone Age, Aphex Twin, and more have also influenced me a ton. But yeah, that’s my TED talk.

J: Most of my inspiration comes from other artists, musicians mainly. The way they dress, the way they sing, the way they write. All the emotion that gets put into crafting an album, I connect with that deeply, and always find it inspires me in my own work. Patti Smith, Isaac Wood, Lou Reed, Pete Kember, Syd Barrett, Joan Baez, and Jeff Mangum are some to name a few!

O: Whenever this question is posed to me, I always draw a blank. I’ve realized nobody in particular inspires me and I am rather inspired by works as a whole like movies, TV shows, music, even people I meet in real life. My writing and direction style is grounded in realism and focuses on depicting real people and raw emotions. But, I will say I love listening to the directors or writers of any movie or TV show that I am loving speak about their work and take some of their ideas for inspiration.

How do you usually create?

A: If there is one thing that’s for certain, it’s that I’ve never been consistent when it comes to creating art. Most of the time, if I don’t have a very solid idea of what I want to create, I won’t even have the will or energy to create anything. The tricky thing is that I can’t just come up with ideas as easily as I’d like to. The inspiration just comes to me, and then I have the drive to create work after work after work, until I run out of ideas again, then it’s back to square one. I can go for months without a single idea, then suddenly feel the urge to paint ten portraits in one day, rinse and repeat. Inspiration can come from anywhere for me. I think it’s always helpful to find it in music, nature, the works of others. If I really want to make something but just can’t think of anything at the moment, I might listen to an album I love or look through the works of an artist I admire. This won’t guarantee that I’ll come up with any good ideas, but it can certainly help with the process.

H: It very much depends on my mood, but I’d say that when I’m walking is when I come up with the most ideas. Being alone also helps a lot. But sometimes I’ll just be experimenting when other people are around and ideas will just come. But I’d say the former is probably where I get the most ideas. Why? I have no idea.

J: Personally, I find the ideas come to me, particularly with writing poems. More often than not, I’ll get a specific line or phrase stuck in my head for a few days, so I write it down, and the rest of the poem comes from there.

O: I typically have ideas come to me but definitely not the whole narrative. I figure that out along the way. I kind of relate it to like peeling an onion or a blooming flower, my small ideas expand and create doors leading to whole story. I don’t usually need to be in a specific setting, but somewhere I can sit and get in my own zone where I focus on just writing. I don’t typically map out sessions for myself because I find that to be more stressful. But, when I was working on my last script, I needed to work within these sessions so I told myself to come up with one idea each day and just write. It did work but it wasn’t my ideal way of working. I have realized that when I work spontaneously it turns out to be my best work, what I feel most confident in. I never like to force anything.

Is there any piece of art that really speaks to you, that you maybe wish you would’ve created yourself?

A: The first work that popped into my head was Study after Velázquez’s Portrait of Pope Innocent X. Perhaps a bit cliche; which artist wouldn’t want paint like Francis Bacon? But that painting in particular was my first introduction to Bacon’s work, and I just remember how deeply it upset me. Looking back, it wasn’t disturbing enough to justify that reaction. I think there’s just something different about that work that made it really stick with me. Francis Bacon portrays suffering and anguish in his paintings in a very raw and palpable way. I think that’s why his works are so special to me. I like how honest they are. I would love to create art as honest as his.

H: That has to go to ‘The Downward Spiral’, this time for lyrical content. The lyrical content in that album touches on so many subjects that so many people struggle with, especially themes of self-doubt and self-esteem — issues that I myself have struggled a lot with in the past. That voice in your head that tells you that you can’t make it, that you won’t be enough, this album captures it perfectly. I think it would have been amazing to have made that album. But I also understand that it’s not easy mentally to make something like that.

J: That’s such a good question. I absolutely adore the collaboration record Courtney Barnett did in 2017 with Kurt Vile. ‘Continental Breakfast’ and ‘Over Everything’ are two of my favourite tracks right now, honestly on repeat. Every time I listen to those songs I wish I’d written them myself. My favourite ever poem ‘Straw House, Straw Dog’ by Richard Siken is something that has spoken to me on an entirely different level to anything else. God, I wish I’d written that. It’s beautiful.

O: Honestly, I wish I had created a lot of my favorite movies and TV shows. I mean doesn’t everyone? But I feel like I yearn to be on these sets to be able to experience the creation of it. If I had to pick one, it would be the movie Little Miss Sunshine. To me, this film embodies the kind of movies I want to make. It’s a comedy but it speaks about beauty standards (specifically for girls and women), family conflict and mental health. I have always been attracted to stories that are funny but also address serious topics in such a bittersweet and smart way. I want my stories to be meaningful and interesting but also funny and entertaining. I feel like this is such a standard answer but to me these are requirements for myself when creating a story.

What was the most recent thing you created, or started working on? What inspired it?

A: That would be a collage I created a few months ago and posted on my account (@liqourice_lemonade) on Instagram. It’s a piece depicting a pigeon lighting a crow’s cigarette. It’s not a very complex piece, but I am quite proud of it. I don’t remember the inspiration for it if I’m being entirely honest. One thing I do remember was that I had a dream where the sun was replaced with a giant sunflower in the sky, and when I woke up I knew I really wanted to include that as a concept in one of my future works. A lot of the concepts for my artworks come from weird things I saw in my dreams. It’s definitely a very useful source of inspiration for me.

H: I have an album that I imagined songs to during my trip to Italy. It’s a shoegaze album (I’m in my shoegaze era, I blame that on you), and it’s very much inspired by ‘Ceres & Calypso in the Deep Time’. It’s a beautiful album focusing on nature. As such, my imagined album follows a similar theme, it’s very focused on nature. The concept of it is that nature is a cycle, and eventually you will die, turn to dust, and join the plants and trees. It’s sad but in a beautiful way. It’s about a character and their lover reconciling with their eventual death, and dancing in the fields knowing that one day they will die, and their ashes to feed the fields that they danced on. It’s the cycle of nature. I think it’ll be called ‘In the Clover Fields’. But first I need to find the right chords damn it. Shoegaze chords are not easy to find. 

J: Recently I’ve been working on my third annual film of the year. Each year, I compile footage I shoot in my life from January to August, and put it together to make films. I’m onto my 3rd one this year, so I’m pretty excited to be almost finishing up on that! They take over half a year to shoot and put together, so they’re always very important to me. One inspiration for doing these films is Saoirse Moncrieff, an Irish singer and vlogger who I’ve followed for countless years now. I used to watch her videos on YouTube so so often, and she’s one of the inspirations for my work! I love how she films.

O: I haven’t created anything as of lately because I’ve been pretty busy but the last script I wrote was heavily inspired by succession and it’s writing. I was mostly inspired by the marriage between two characters and their relationship dynamic. I wanted to explore unrequited love, the needs and wants one person may have in a relationship, and miscommunication. I sight real people and real conflict as something I am heavily inspired by.

Which aspect of art resonates with you the most? Why do you feel so connected to it?

A: What I love about art is that it’s subjective. There is no science behind art, no such thing as “right art” and “wrong art”. I’ve never been good at math or science. I’m don’t think very logically most of the time, and I don’t like being told things are only meant to be done a certain way. I think that’s why art connects with me so much. The word itself can mean whatever you want it to. You can call a beautiful painting art, you can call a concrete block art, you can draw, take photographs, make collages, you can collect empty plastic bottles and it can still be art. Art is everything and nothing. It’s whatever you want it to be. There are no rules with art, and that’s what I love about it.

H: The freedom artists have to make you feel something. There are so many different ways to make music — you can do jazz, rock, rap, electronic, country etc. Lyrics. Album covers. All of these can be combined to make someone feel something. And I think that’s amazing. Just how many ways you can experiment, try different sounds, to convey emotion. It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it can hit. And I just don’t always find that with other art forms. I mean, I’ve definitely cried during a movie and reading a book, but music just hits different. Nothing can make me feel as sad as ‘True Love Waits’ by Radiohead, or as energized as ‘Songs for the Deaf’ by Queens of the Stone Age. There’s so much to discover, and I love it.

J: I think a lot of it to me is moments in time. I love how you can look at a piece of art, or read a poem, or listen to a song, and you can feel yourself in the moment or the story. You can empathize with the artist through it. It becomes more than something on a page, it becomes intimate, and I love that.

O: Intention! I hope that can be sighted as aspect of art. But, intention is so special to me because I am so curious why other artists create their art and how it improves their creative process. I think someone’s intentions to create can be so personal and interesting. i know for myself, I love creating because I love to learn about people and how to I can become a better person. By writing or directing, it teaches me a lot of empathy.

Do you think that we as human beings should pay more attention to the arts (be it in school, the society, anywhere...)?

A: Art is nuanced and has many functions. Each artistic movement has its own rich history, and each artist has their own unique style and vision. However, many people tend to dismiss art as a whole because they believe it is a waste of time. Because art is based on emotions rather than logic, people may perceive it as ‘frivolous’ or ‘a waste of time’. This can open up broader questions about why we value logic and dismiss out feelings so often, and I think overall it would really benefit us as a society if we took aside some time to acknowledge that art is complex and multifaceted and can help us understand human nature, and how we think and feel in a way that science can’t. Art will always be a necessary part of any society, and I believe more people should respect it and recognize the good that it does.

H: Hmm, I don’t think so. Music is one of the fastest growing industries to date, and so are movies. Instead, I think we should change how we view the arts. At the moment, arts — especially music — is viewed as a product rather than an art piece. This is inherently harmful, because the music that makes the most money floats to the top. This means that a lot of popular music sounds the same, because that’s what makes money. I don’t think that an inherent fault of the artists but rather the system that we live in that requires artists that experiment and make art get pushed to the bottom, just because it doesn’t make money. The album I talked about before, ‘Calypso & Ceres’? Super underground because it wasn’t profitable, and that’s also because of streaming services, which is a whole other topic… I don’t think new music is bad — this year put out some really good albums, The new Foo Fighters is amazing, ‘Dogsbody’ is one of the best debut albums I’ve heard — it’s just that these albums don’t hit the charts, they don’t hit the radio because the modern day music industry doesn’t reward experimentation. It rewards sticking to a formula.

J: Yes, I do. I think it’s extremely important for us as a society to pay more attention to the arts. Since the pandemic, I know of so many historic and iconic music venues that have had to close to due to societal pressure to care more about synthetic, materialist needs, than art. People view it as a want and not a need, but the reality is that the arts are necessary. The emotion and connection and awareness that you gain from enjoying art regularly is what we need in life to keep us from just becoming empty, money-hungry shells of people. Without the art, we stop becoming people.

O: Oh absolutely! Just as I sighted as art being something that teaches me about empathy, it can do the same to others. Art allows us to express our feelings and emotions in a special way. We hear it all the time but it’s true. I have heard countless stories from my peers that art is very therapeutic or it allows them to create representations of themselves that isn’t seen often. Art is so special to us as humans and I think that sentiment needs to be taught more often.

You see, art is not just a plaything, or a waste of time, or a nuisance. It’s something so incredibly beautiful and powerful that manages to speak to one’s soul in ways nothing else can. It allows us to discover sides of ourselves we had no idea previously existed, leading our minds to paths logic, or so-called ‘rational ideas’, never could. Art is what adds color to our lives, and helps relieve the horrors of boring daily routines which society expects us to stick to. It sets one’s mind free. Art is a major part in any person’s life, whether they acknowledge it or not, and without it, we would simply cease to exist.

photography by morgan tali

[attic-zine]

who is this brunette?

an introduction to the creator

I find it difficult to introduce myself to others. I think it stems from the fact that my mind is constantly scattered and I feel as if I’m a hundred different people all at once. Despite that, people do tend to have their own little views of me, as we all do of each other. “Why are you so quiet?” is a question that never gets old. I’ve been asked that on multiple occasions because when people first meet me, I come across as quiet and shy, even introverted, and I just don’t seem to fit into any other boxes. I don’t blame them, though. I’m a simple girl — if I don’t have anything to say, I choose not to speak. But that never really came as a problem to me. In fact, I’ve heard that quiet people have the loudest minds, and I genuinely believe that this rings true for me. I may not say a lot to the people around me, but if you hand me a pen and a piece of paper, words will bleed from my mind like an open wound that refuses to halt. Or, if you find a topic that is of paramount importance to me — love, poetry, jazz, space, film or music to name a few — it will take a village to shut me up.

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend of mine and she brought up a very interesting point about all of this: it’s impossible for us people to put a single label on our personalities and then just accept that. We don’t work like that — depending on who we’re with, our personalities differ and therefore, we might be introverted in a given situation but extroverted in another. It’s so obvious, but (news flash!), we just really love labels so in the reality that we live in, that’s not really a thing... Anyway, with that being said, I think it’s important for me to state that yes, I do come off as sullen and fragile, and yes, more often than not, I keep my quiet, but I wouldn’t let that hinder others from approaching me. Some of my friends have told me that when they first met me, they were intimidated by me. I wish I could pinpoint what it is about me, but it seems to be a reoccurring artefact amongst quite a few of the people who have met me. And I do notice that when I’m around new people, there’s this nervous energy all over, and a struggle to get past it... But listen, I wouldn’t agree with the way the world sees me at all. If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be ‘nonchalant.’ I’ve always loved that word. Take it as you please, for me it means to be at ease with your surroundings and understanding that when the sun sets and the moon comes out, it’s just you against the world. There’s no need to waste your energy on listening to others’ bullshit, especially if it gets in the way of staying true to yourself. I learnt that it was best to shut off the relentless noises of the world in order to retain my sanity a long time ago.

But really, who is this brunette? In general, I’m a very artistic person, always eager to pour all of my creativity into the mouths of anyone who is willing to drink from the chaos of my mind. I write poetry when it gets dark. I listen to Jeff Buckley when I wish to be swoon, be it through his mesmerizing vocals or captivating words. I make mixtapes to capture every single one of my erratic moods on tape and preserve them as fragments of who I am or who I was during different moments in my life. They’re like love letters. I hope that one day when I’m gone, someone will find these tapes and listen to them, and that they will give them some type of an idea about me... I take photos on film because they radiate this nostalgic melancholia mixed with a brittle sweetness, a one-of-a-kind ambience which you could never get from digital photographs. Visiting art museums is a hobby of mine. Obviously, I keep a journal. About two months ago, I even put out an EP entitled ‘Sincerely, Brunette’ under the mononym Encens (French for ‘incense’ because, well, I really fucking love incense...). At best, it is an ode to my everlasting love for the ‘90s — a decade which my life seems to revolve around through no fault of my own — as it contains a trip hop-esque sound and embodies lyrics that are, at times, almost nonsensical or just really... Absurd. My song ‘Flower Fender’ is a literal cry for help. ‘Lifetimes apart / This may be the death of me’ — what the fuck?

If we’re already on the subject, let me fill you in a bit... Simply put, music is my everything. My top one priority in life. Without it, I think I would have called it quits a long time ago. It is the only thing that drives me forward. It is my main source of inspiration. But this bittersweet romance is actually not all that old. Yes, music has been around me my whole life and I grew up listening to good ol’ dad music during carrides with my family, but it was only a few years ago that I truly fell in love with it. I discovered (what I like to call) ‘real music’ when I first watched this show I’m sure Gen Z is all too familiar with — you guessed it, ‘Stranger Things’ — at the tender and (extremely) gullible age of 13, and was suddenly cast into a rabbit hole of ‘80s music. Michael and Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, Tears for Fears, Duran Duran, Wham! —  I listened to them all in what seemed like a heartbeat. A year later, the Queen biopic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ came out and my infatuation with old music blossomed even further. But not only that, an interest in this decade that I had no proper sense of, mainly because I was born into the 21st century — which, I shall mind you, has always felt like a curse — began eating me alive. Almost overnight, I started collecting vinyl records and cassettes, dressing myself in high waisted denim jeans, and shopping exclusively at second hands. I watched every coming-of-age film known to man — ‘The Breakfast Club’, ‘Say Anything’, ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’, ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’, ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’... — and covered every inch of my room with posters of icons like Madonna and Prince. Every one of my Spotify playlists consisted of music released no later than the mid-90s. This obsession was no longer solely dedicated to the ‘80s but extended it to all decades prior to it, as well as including the ‘90s. Wishing I could go back in time to be one of Warhol’s muses, to see Hendrix live, and to live through the MTV age all became pipe dreams which are now just a part of my lifestyle. Speaking of, I was voted the ‘class retro’ (whatever that means...) in middle school and ‘born in the wrong decade’ in high school — coincidence much?

Now that I’m 19 and fresh out of high school, I have decided to let everyone take a glimpse at this scattered mind of mine by bringing life to the Attic, a magazine dedicated to all things that are dear to me. Here, one will find articles and interviews about music, art, fashion, and quite literally anything else that might seem worth mentioning to me, and lots and lots of photography (it is what I love most, right after music). The Attic is the ultimate guide to chic ‘90s coolness, and, I guess, a personal outlet for me to share my thoughts with others. It is a free space for anyone to speak their minds and share their art, including you readers. 

With that being said, I welcome you all to the Attic, a taste of unlived nostalgia... And anything that ignites a flame within me.

photography by tinnie fritzman