Sure you could fall in love with me but would you put up glow in the dark stars all over our bedroom walls with me? Would you paint our mailbox fun colors with me? Would you make pancakes in silly shapes and buy knickknacks weâll never use and pick up hobbies we wonât stick to with me? Would you live and be silly and be a little dumb and be a genius and be confident and lazy and kind and angry and everything? Would you give me absolutely every side of yourself that you can??
Okay okay okay so Iâm changing like every recognizable detail of this for privacy purposes but yall need to appreciate this
So I know how to retain CCTV footage, right? It doesnât come up everywhere but I know my way around- and if someone gets jumped in a parking lot or whatever I can go backwards and see whodunnit
So Iâm at this one place, right? And I get a call that an older woman in a wheelchair got hurt somehow and we need to see what happened.
Nobody remembers the exact time, because of course not, but they tell me she was wearing like a massive hot pink jacket and sheâs in a wheelchair and she left with a medic round 09:45ish, so I figure Iâll start there.
So I find the incident itself no problem, but they need ALL footage for liability and insurance and stuff, so I have to keep going
And about ten minutes backwards, I lose her. She comes into view past a single shelf on one of the worse cameras and vanishes.
like. VANISHES. Hot pink jacket, big bulky black chair, gonzo. No idea where she came from.
So, I pull up entry cams. Zoom backwards till I see her come in⊠at like 06:15.
THREE AND A HALF HOURS EARLIER.
So first off, this is gonna take me like two hours minimum to write down, forget retention. And Iâm kind of dying in my soul a bit but I start over there, watching her come in and meander and whatever.
At about 08:30ish she disappears.
Doesnât leave. Doesnât head to a bathroom. Doesnât take her coat off. Her trail just stops.
Now, Iâve done this before. Typically, a location only has the mandatory minimum amount of room for a chair or walker to get around, so a person using one can only go forwards and itâs hard to 180. That limits options and makes it easier to follow, whereas a little unattended and fully mobile kid will zoom around in circles and shit and go who the hell knows where.
Then I see her again on the other ass end of the building, and I have to go back again to see how she GOT there.
My guys.
Her two and three-point turns are INCREDIBLE.
Sheâs popping on the wheels, flip, zoom, sheâs out somewhere I didnât think she could even GET to. Iâve been planning my search for places that fit a wheelchair or least-resistance fast-paths from A to B and sheâs like⊠doing some Tokyo Drift shit.
I donât know WHY. The whole place is basically completely accessible so long as you put up with having to reverse, but no. No, she goes where she wants.
Iâve been at this for half the day, and I still have no idea where she went for like an hour and a half.
Yeah Mr. Darcyâs proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand.
You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And sheâs everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesnât go out of her way to spend time with you but sheâs nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, itâs p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then youâre financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already youâre accepting that if all goes well, youâre gonna be one random old bagâs retirement home. Thatâs expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girlyâs other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably wonât be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like itâs toilet paper
And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedoâing her entire familyâs reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. Sheâs never gonna work, she canât build connections, sheâs a fucking sinkhole, and sheâs being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit whoâs been bleeding you dry while telling anyone whoâll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- youâve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW sheâs gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and itâs not like you can lock her in the basement or something, youâre gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. Sheâs not even good to TALK to. FUCK
So youâre looking to the mom and finally itâs making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is youâre starting to realize sheâs the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like theyâre a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it sheâs still the most radiant thing youâve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, youâll do it. Youâll shoot your shot. Sheâs everything youâve ever wanted in anybody abut itâs not even just about that anymore, itâs about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesnât like you all that much sheâs still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing itâs about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesnât LOVE you at least youâll know sheâs well and cared for
And so youâll do it. Youâll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, youâll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and youâll make your own family deal with it too, youâll do it, youâll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like âlook. Your whole familyâs a shitshow. Youâve got fucking nothing and youâre gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I donât get it either- Iâve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didnât, but I did, so Iâm telling you that whether you like me or not, Iâll give you everything. Iâll give you everything even if itâs the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, Iâll marry you.â
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes âThe fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?â
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth
And yeah
I think toy doctors are so nice actually like i remember being a little heartbroken kid when one of my beloved stuffed animals got old and torn up and my mom just threw him out. And i know what it would have meant to me, to have someone lovingly stitch him back up instead so i could love him just a little longer. And Iâm really glad there are little kids out there who get to see pictures of their stuffed animals and dolls with little fake hospital beds and casts as they ârest & healâ before returning to them good as new. Like what a sweet thing to do with your life.
Itâs also so good for normalising the idea of illness, hospitals and recovery not being bad or scary places, even if sometimes theyâre not very nice, because the people there are doing kind things to make you better so you can go back home. No one knows which kids are going to end up dealing with major traumatic illnesses or injuries, and having a safe framework for the idea of a hospital, a safe, painless, vicarious hospital experience is such valuable preparation
You weren't a technician, you weren't a security guard, you weren't a daycare assistant. You're just an employee. Staff. The âjack-of-all-tradesâ employee with mediocre at best skills and specialty in none, tasked with doing miscellaneous jobs that robots couldn't do and human staff couldn't care to. The job is unpredictable, but it pays good and it's relatively easy.
Except for the part where all the animatronics are more sentient than you thought, and you're roped into a mystery surrounding the Daycare Attendants, who are bit too curious about you for your liking.
You don't think this was in your employee contact.
| Words:Â 225,814Â | Chapters:Â 16/?
đLove, Death and Rollerskates by Spadillelicious
Rollerskater!Sun, Janitor!Moon, Metalstar!Eclipse x Staff!Reader
~~ [AU & Designs: @spadillelicious]
After moving to Crescent City in the 80s, you pick up a job at the local roller rink Party Planet. Ironic, considering roller skating is definitely not one of your talents.
On the bright side, you get to work with the friendly Sun. On the other hand, you also have to interact with the gruff janitor and security guard Moon on a daily basis.
But when staying after hours one day, despite being strictly instructed not to, you find out a terrible secret that changes everything you knew about Sun, Moon and Crescent City forever.
| Words:Â 98,091 |Â Chapters:Â 18/?
âïžCelestial Sundown by clutterspace
God!Sun, God!Moon, God!Eclipse x Human!Reader
~~ [AU & Designs: @pillowspace]
There was something slumped beneath a tree, and you had no idea what it was. The sunlight shone brighter where it laid, despite the leaves above not differing from any of the other foliage.
It was such a small thing to notice in comparison to everything else, but it brought a small hysterical giggle out past the lump in your throat as it finally clicked in place what you were seeing.
It was a god.
You are a peasant living in the middle of the woods, Sun is the god of day you brought back home with you, and Moon is the god of night tucked away in the Celestial Realm.
| Words:Â 83,805Â | Chapters:Â 7/?
đIn Deep Dreams Between the Waves by NaffEclipse (AO3 account required)
You see a fish, but the fish isnât really a fish, because he looks up at you with big yellow eyes, wide with fright. Large black pupils dart around frantically. Heâs small, less than half your size, which surprises you. You know mers are supposed to be big sea monsters that sink boats or cause storms, but you donât see a monster. You think of a baby while staring at his chubby round face, creased with fear, and his small tail.
| Words:Â 55,644Â | Chapters:Â 5/5
âïžSong Fish Amid the Stars by NaffEclipse (AO3 account required)
âIf I may, Detectives, I believe that the score is set at a tie on how many times youâve both let me slip away under your watch.â You grin at the sun and moon like faces of your opponents in this game of cat and mouse. The narrow slice of Detective Moonâs gaze becomes threatening, where Detective Sun curls and uncurls his fingers in anticipation of whatever scheme youâre concocting.
| Words: 174,134 | Chapters: 15/15
âïžPisces Caelestis by S_V
Mermaid!Sun, Mermaid!Moon x Human!Reader
~~ [AU & Designs: @sortvaniliekrans]
Underneath the glowing eyes, a great maw opened to hiss at you, baring several rows of needle-like fangs, wicked looking and sharp and also glowing in the blacklight. As the thing hissed, the cries started up again, more frantic this time, and accompanied by- it almost sounded like scratching?
And it was coming from behind you.
The bleeding creature had never been the one wailing.
| Words:Â 76,588Â | Chapters:Â 13/?
đWintersweet Spirit by NaffEclipse (AO3 account required)
Your visit to a beautiful, tucked-away mountain town leaves you curious about the beliefs of a mythical beast who watches over the peaks and snowy ranges. An ill-advised trek toward the summit sends you tumbling directly into the mythical beast's domain as you must accept his guiding hand to endure the harsh mountaintop.
He is power and brightness, and the only one who can carry you through the snow.
| Words: 34,212Â | Chapters: 3/3
âïžCelestial Omens by BamSara
Siren!Sun, Siren!Moon x Human!Reader
~~ [AU & Designs: bamsara]
When you are ten years old, you find two creatures, bloodied and injured, trapped a net on the beach near your home. You save them, make friends with them, and return them to the sea, leaving you to wonder later if your friends with the Sun colored scales and fins that shone like the full Moon were real or imagined up by a childhood of loneliess.
Time passes. You hear stories of monsters, Sirens in the water, one that is a good omen if spotted, promising your safe voyage as long as you respect the rules of the ocean, and one that sinks ships and eats people for fun. Just folktales meant to scare children.
A decade later, they return the favor, though they don't plan on leaving you so easily this time.
| Words:Â 36,318Â | Chapters:Â 3/?
đSources of Light by JackOfAllRabbits (AO3 account required)
Alien!Sun x Alien!Moon x Human!Y/N x Alien!Eclipse
~~ [AU & Designs: @maudiemoods]
Space has always seemed so far away until now...
Your life was mundane and simple; work, eat, and sleep. Taking small joys as they come to you and trying not to worry. Then, a summer night like any other takes a dramatic turn when you encounter a pair of aliens who had not anticipated meeting a human. In a panic you find yourself swept away onto their ship and now must navigate a universe of unknowns, starting with your strange abductors and the secrets surrounding them.
| Words:Â 120,077Â |Â Chapters:Â 15/15
âïžSigns of Life by JackOfAllRabbits (AO3 account required)
Alien!Eclipse x Scientist!Y/N
~~ [AU & Designs: maudiemoods, @jackofallrabbits]
A new scientist has been hired to the Faz Co. research facility in the heart of the desert where any number of secrets can be kept. You are full of curiosity and are especially interested in a particularly fascinating subject that Faz Co. is holding.
A certain dangerous alien. Will you get too close for comfort? Is it worth the risk?
This fic is something of a sequel fic to Sources of Light and will revolve around Eclipse. This fic can stand on its own but there might be mention of past events.
Perhaps this would scare a person, being all alone in the woods in the dark, but not you. Youâre too intertwined with the paranormal and inexplicable. Itâs in your blood. That doesnât mean your heart wonât pound with terror when you face something with fangs and hungry eyes for flesh, but you donât run away, and thatâs what matters most.
You will face the monsters.
| Words:Â 253,823Â | Chapters:Â 21/21
âïžWhat the Tide Keeps by Cipher_the_Sidhe
Mer!Sun, Mer!Moon x MerHandler!Y/N
~~ [AU & Designs: @cipher-the-sidhe]
Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Mega Water World, the premier aquarium in the world! Enjoy our state-of-the-art rides and attractions, our dazzling animal performances, and prepare to be amazed by the stars of our show: live mers!
You are a mer handler at the illustrious Mega Water World. Or, you were, until something happens to the mer in your care and FazCo buries it all under red tape. Driven by grief and guilt, you team up with a fellow handler to uncover and bring to light the companyâs unethical practices surrounding the mysterious mers they keep on display.
But what do you do when your search for the truth brings you face to face with two abandoned mers wasting away in the ruins of one of FazCo's old holding facilities? The mers are hurt and scared, but you are determined to make up for your past failure. You are going to take care of them, even if it kills you. And with two traumatized mers to contend with, it just might.
When you're invited to the Kingdom of Pleiades to try and woo Prince Sun or Prince Moon's hands in marriage along with many other suitors, you are less than enthused.
During your stay however, you get acquainted with their court jesters Dawn and Dusk; two performers with such wild personalities much different to that of royalty. Dawn with their bubbly personality and quick witted jokes, Dusk with their small pranks and sleepy like attitude. You can't help but want to spend time with them instead of the princes you now avoid.
If only you knew that Dawn and Dusk, Prince Sun and Prince Moon, were one in the same.
In the Arctic, all is beautiful and cold and lethal. You tread over ice and underneath, a dark, powerful siren stalks you. Though you try to resist, you succumb to the lure of the mer and his decision to have you.
How do you survive an apex predator?
| Words:Â 125,998Â | Chapters:Â 12/12
âïžLong Road Ahead by bubbiesaur
Samebody!Sun/Moon/Eclipse x Human!Reader
~~ [AU & Designs: @bubbiethesaur]
You didn't want a PleasureBot. You didn't need a PleasureBot. But here you were staring at a box from PleasureWorks (subsidiary of Fazbear Entertainment) and cursing your aunt. Just because you were alone doesn't mean you were unhappy. At least that's what you told yourself.
But when you open the package, you get a lot more than you bargained for. There's a long road ahead for the three of you...as long as you survive the first night.
| Words: 206,115 | Chapters: 18/?
đ(Don't) Fear the Reaper by muzzle
CampCounselor!Sun, CampCounselor!Moon x Human!Reader
~~ [AU & Designs: @muzzlemouths]
Ten years after the tragedy that befell Camp Cosmo, something stirs in the woods, growing restless. A simple phone call embroils you in the fate of six guilty counselors, haunted by their past and a vengeful shadow that won't soon let them forget.
Your own innocence is called into question when friends become enemies, placing a target on your back, and you're met with a choice: play along, or become the next victim.
Youâre not exactly sure why you were chosen for this specific task they gave you, other than that you basically signed your life away in the fine print of your work contract and canât really refuse what they ask of you but nonetheless it still makes you wonder.Â
| Words: 2,152 | Chapters: 1/1
âââââââââđNSFW FROM HEREđâââââââââ
Same body!Sun/Moon, Glitch!Eclipse x Mechanic!Reader
~~ [AU: @crickyluv. Sun Design: crickyluv. Eclipse,Moon Design: crickyluv, deliasmoothie]
You finally got the job as the nighttime mechanic at Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex! Unfortunately, you get a double shift. At least you get to spend time fixing the animatronic you knew best: Sun!
This is a slow burn that eventually turns into NSFW. There is a TON to get to before the spice comes.
| Words: 223,793 | Chapters: 49/?
đI Watched You Become a Stranger & How to Lure a Handler by IcedMetalTea (AO3 account required)
Mer!Sun, Mer!Moon x Handler!Y/N
~~ [AU & Designs: @icedmetaltea]
You work at one of the few aquariums cleared to house merfolk as a handler for twin mers who live in a sort of petting pool targeted at kids, as they've proven to be harmless to humans through the years. You spend your days taking care of them and supervising their interactions with the public.
You arrive at the exhibit for your early morning shift and, as you prepare for the day's visitors, the automatic door to the room malfunctions and slams shut while you're inside. You find yourself trapped with no sources of food, and the two creatures who have a very big appetite.
You decide to try and summon a demon to destroy the world as a big bang to end all of humanity. Then earn the lavish life you wanted when you went to hell.
Instead you get two small demons who say they can satisfy your very desire, except the desire you called them for.
You worked as a researchers for endangered species at a sanctuary.
One day, two of the newly discovered seahorse merfolk species come into the sanctuary after being caught in a net left in the ocean. Instead of releasing them back to the wild, the upper ranks at the sanctuary decide to use them for a breeding program.
Over the next few months you must decide to help your new friends escape or force them to spend their first mating cycle trapped inside of the sanctuary.
| Words:Â 28,299Â | Chapters:Â 2/2
đWe Can Serve You Better, Than They Can by Bearitt
RoyalGuard!Sun x RoyalGuard!Moon x Princess!Y/N
~~ [AU & Designs: @flusteredfools]
It wasnât your fault, none of it was but you were the one who was punished and both Sir Sun and Sir Moon hated that. It was the Kingâs affair with the Sorcerer that caused your unfortunate fate. He played with the wrong heart, made too many promises with no intent to keep them; and you, kind, sensitive, beautiful, youngest of seven royal children, last in line to the throne, originally the Kingâs favorite child, you took the punishment.
A curse of lust, only to be cured by someone who truly loves you for more than what lies skin deep filling you up entirely; true love, they scoff. Every day as the sun sets, your body lights with an inner fire, every touch you feel feels hundreds times more sensitive to you and you yearn and beg for someone to hold you, fill you and ease the flames you feel burning inside.
In the Kingâs attempt to keep his secret and your curse hidden, he built you your own annex; a few trusted servants, staff and just you, furthest away from everyone else until you were able to find your true love and lift the curse.Â
As their handler, Sun and Moon relentlessly attempted to court you, often in ways that just came out needy, as cute as it was. As much as you loved them, you constantly had to hold back from returning those affections. But over time, it was slowly cracking away at your resolve.
Youâre a Repair Technician that lives at the Pizzaplex, nothing weird about that. The days are filled with the hustle of making sure that the characters are in tip-top shape, well all the characters except for the Daycare Attendant.
Youâve never seen them and they have their own tech, but what happens when suddenly that tech has to take an indefinite leave of absence and you are the one that is responsible for filling in the position?
If you have any fic you wish to recommend me, please do! Though that will not guarantee it entering this list. And do consider that, as the title says and as I stated at the start, the fics added to this list are soley X READER/YN thus the relationship between the reader and the DCA is romantic or queerplatonic to some degree or can be interpreted as so <3
He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.
imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, heâs like damn youâve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie itâs been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.
this is what happened to bilbo baggins
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